Wit in Retort. 
53 
a cross word. A wit’s remark was, “What a stupid time you 
have both had. ” 
In general the best retorts make answer in a vein contrasting 
with that of a charge. The solemn is parried by the sportive, and 
the sportive by the solemn. 
A theologian, answering a letter from a heretical wit wrote, 
“I have read your letter and wept over it.” The wit replied; “I 
have read your letter and laughed at it. ” 
When Voltaire was ordered to leave Genevese territory within 
twenty four hours, he said, “ Whenever I shake my wig I powder 
the whole republic, and I will be out of it in five minutes. ’’ 
Reading the epitaph, “Here lies one who never felt fear”, a 
wit said, “That man never snuffed a candle with his fingers. ” 
When one was talking of converting a Jewish girl, a wit ob¬ 
jected because he would thus raise the price of pork. 
Burke in a heated declamation threw down a dagger on the 
floor of parliament. The weapon had tragic force till Sheridan 
ejaculated, “The speaker has brought us his knife, but why did 
he forget his fork?” 
When Leonidas was told that the Persian arrows would 
darken the very air he said, “I shall be glad to fight in the 
shade. ” 
When a contraband was arguing that Jeff Davis must succeed 
because he was a man of prayer, and was told that Lincoln also 
prayed, his response was “I know it, but the Lord will think 
that Abraham is a joking. ” 
“When I forget my country, ” exclaimed a sham patriot, “ may 
the Almighty forget me! ” “That”, saida wit, “is the very best 
he can do for you!” 
Retorts often take the form of a plausible denial. A man cen¬ 
sured because his morals were bad denied that he ever had any. 
The saloon-keeper says, “I must live. ” The wit answers “I 
see no need of that. ” 
A lover who had been rejected, starting up from his knees 
cried out, “If my offer had been in earnest, how badly I should 
feel. ” 
Another style of retort consists in a concession with a draw¬ 
back, or counter-thrust. We say the Puritan came to New 
