Subjects for Wit. 
55 
When a man forced to labor on the Sabbath was rebuked by a 
fellow of notorious laziness his defence was; “You break the 
commandment on six days, I on only one. ” 
Fasts and long prayers were easy for Pharisees. Without such 
appetizers they could not have devoured widows’ houses with so 
much gusto. 
When Satan took away everything else from Job he left him 
his wife. “Yet,” says a wit, “he over-reached himself. Every¬ 
thing taken away was restored twofold. But this rule did not 
bring Job two wives. That might have been too much even for 
his patience. ” 
W^hen Dr. South saw a villain partaking of sacramental bread, 
he said, “I see Christ again descending into hell. ” 
Eain is sent on the just and on the unjust. “ Chiefly,” said 
a wit, “ on the just; for the unjust have borrowed their umbrel¬ 
las. ” 
A man of ostentatious piety is said to enter into his closet, 
but to forget to shut the door. On the other hand, those who 
say no grace before meat are likened to pigs under an oak, munch¬ 
ing acorns but never looking up to see where they come from. 
A Federalist parson could not avoid dining with a Jeffer¬ 
sonian party, and furnishing a toast to Jefferson. He had per¬ 
mission, however, to give one from the Bible. What he pro¬ 
posed was the eighth verse of the 109th Psalm. This text was 
greeted with cheers and bumpers. As soon as the preacher had 
taken leave, a Bible was looked up and the sacred words were 
found to be; “Let his days be few, and let another take his 
office. ” 
National peculiarities have everywhere been a target for wit. 
“The Englishman,” said Voltaire, “in a land of three hundred 
religions and no cookery, cuts off the tail of his horse, and the 
head of his king. ” 
When it is boasted that the sun never sets on British domin¬ 
ions, it is answered, “No wonder, for he dares not trust an 
Englishman in the dark. ” 
An English bishop asked an American why we have no good 
judges of wine, and was told it was because we have no estab¬ 
lished church. 
