Accessories of Wit. 
57 - 
of wit in others that, if I should speak of them as they deserve, 
I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books 
that should be written. One sample is all I can give of a 
million. 
An Irishman’s horse in lifting his foot caught it in the 
stirrup and seemed about to climb into the saddle. Thereupon 
the rider at once dismounted saying: “If you’re for getting on, 
I am for getting off. ” 
Professional or personal foibles , actual or attributed, are at 
the mercy of witlings. Lawyers are called sawyers who pull 
different ways but cut only the block, or blockhead which comes 
between them. When doctors hold a consultation the question 
is not what to give the patient, but how much to take from him. 
In more than one Gospel we read of a woman who had spent 
all her living upon physicians, and was nothing bettered. Mark 
adds that “she rather grew worse.” These words are not found 
in Luke, who, being a physician himself, is said to have 
omitted, them out of professional pride. 
A lawyer, reproached for lack of faith, said ministers had so 
much that there was none left for him. A soldier said the best 
preachers fired big guns but not long ones. 
An office-hunter, when a man told him he w r ould rather vote 
for Satan than for him, replied, “If your friend Satan should 
not be a candidate, will you then go for me?” 
Sundry accessories render witticisms more effective. We 
never admire wit more than when it helps its owner out of a 
tight place. 
Jupiter swore that Prometheus should remain chained to the 
rock forever, but when his anger cooled, said that but for his 
oath he would release him. Thereupon the prisoner fashioned a 
link of the chain into a ring for himself and set in it a bit of 
the rock. He thus kept Jove’s oath inviolate and obtained his 
own freedom. 
Persecutors set a roast pig before a starving Huguenot, but 
told him that whatever he should cut off first, must be cut off 
from his own body. His first cut was the tail. 
A knight, tried by ordeal, was told the red hot ball he must 
carry would not burn innocent hands. “Then,” said he to the 
