AMERICAN AGRICULTUB.TST. 
369 
18 W.] 
While this education may and should he left mainly to 
the parent, if the parent neglects to give it to the child 
through ignorance, or carelessness, or inability, should 
not the State provide and compel it—not only for its own 
protection, safety, and best good, but in justice to the 
child itself? It seems, to us that every child should have 
a knowledge extending to Reading, Writing. Arithmetic, 
Geography, and the History of our own country. Prussia 
adds to these requirements, and well, we think. Drawing, 
Music, and Gymnastics. It takes care that every child 
has these acquirements from the parent if they will and 
can supply them ; otherwise the State furnishes them, 
and sees to it that they are obtained by every child not 
an invalid or idiot. 
Tlie New Sorb: State Fair, held at Elmira, 
Sept. 9-13, was, taken as a whole, as good an agricultural 
fair as we ever attended, and it was said to quite equal 
any ever held by this leading Society. A marked feature 
of these exhibitions is the absence of horse trotting, and 
the fact that nearly a fourth more money is offered in 
premiums for cattle than for horses. The large attendance 
upon, and general success of the exhibitions o\ this 
Society, is a conclusive argument in favor of fairs without 
the “ agricultural boss trot.” The show of farm ma¬ 
chines was especially full and varied ; among these we 
recognized many well tried implements, as well as some 
new ones. The horticultural department was creditable 
to the locality, though naturally smaller than usually seen 
at Rochester ; the specimens of fruit, and flowers on the 
stands were excellent of their kinds. In the stock depart¬ 
ments. the show of stallions was' the finest the Society 
has ever had, and the cattle and sheep exhibit was su¬ 
perior. particularly the latter—not so much in numbers, 
as for excellence and variety. An interesting feature was 
the three Grange wagons, which vied with each other in 
showing the products of the farm, in field, stable, and 
household. These were great platforms on wheels, about 
30 feet long, by 8 feet wide, with standards and shelves 
erected to bold the fruits ana vegetables and other decora¬ 
tions of grasses, grains, etc. One wagon had open cup¬ 
boards in the sides, showing viands for the farmer’s table, 
and outside of the wheels, under the edge of the plat¬ 
form, were compartments containing a calf, a sheep, pigs, 
and the several kinds of poultry. As these gaily deco¬ 
rated vehicles moved along the track, they might have 
been taken for a procession of the olden time in honor of 
Ceres and Pomona. The success of this Society is 
largely due to the energetic and disinterested efforts of 
Secretary Harrison and the other officers, to whose ki nd at¬ 
tentions as well as those of the editors of the “Husband¬ 
man,” which so well represents the farmers of that sec¬ 
tion, are we indebted for much of the pleasure of our visit. 
Basket Items continued on page 393. 
Sundry Humbugs. 
If any of our readers have 
noticed that this column 
shows a certain amount of 
repetition, they have dis¬ 
covered that of which we 
are well aware, but can not 
readily avoid. It seems to 
make no difference how 
plainly we may warn people 
against a certain scheme. 
There are many who do not 
seem to notice what is said, 
arid we are constantly in re¬ 
ceipt of letters a-king about 
the very thing that we have 
exposed in full but a few 
months before: hence we 
must either repeat our warn¬ 
ing. or appear to disregard 
a large number of earnest 
inquirers. Some humbugs 
are so persistent, and so 
often asked about, that we have sometimes thought it 
might be well if we were to keep certain lines standing 
in large type, they would read something like this : 
Farmers, Beware How You Become Agents. 
Farmers, Be Careful What You Sign. 
All Lotteries are Frauds. 
Let All Wall Street Schemes Alone. 
Beware op Adjusters op Claims. 
Don’t Invest in any Secret Service Company. 
Ip You are Told that You have Drawn an “ Art ” 
Picture, Don’t Send poi: It. 
Ip You Read the Advertisement op a Doctor, do 
not Ask Us about Him, etc., etc. 
We have given special and minute attention to these 
very matters again and again—yet, here is a pile of let¬ 
ters asking about these very things, and others, as if they 
were fresh, and had turned up now for the first time. 
Will our readers please understand that we can not make 
exceplions. For example, we feel sure that there is no 
more risky business, for even those who understand it, 
or think they do, than speculating on the stock market, 
an opinion with which every solid business man will 
agree. When we warn our readers against 
WALL STREET SCHEMES, 
we mean off, of every kind and stripe. Some who send 
out circulars have much skill in “the art of putting 
things,” and they show very plainly—on paper—that an 
investment must pay. Those who receive these circulars 
are captivated by their plausibility, but, being cautious, 
they write to ask if we do not except so and so from our 
general warning. It is some trouble to write a brief neg¬ 
ative reply, yet we do this, rather than to appear impolite. 
It would save the writers, as well as ourselves, both time 
and trouble, if they would accept, once for all, the state¬ 
ment that we can make no exceptions; it is not a ques¬ 
tion altogether of the persons concerned in it, though 
some of these are “shaky”—but the nature of the busi¬ 
ness is such that all engaged in it are looked upon with 
suspicion. If the cashier or bookkeeper of any business 
house of high standing, or in any bank, were known to 
be “ dabbling in stocks,” he would lose his place. When 
a “breach of trust,” or “defalcation,” or other sugar- 
coated form of robbery takes place, the first question 
concerning the defaulter is, “ Did he operate on the 
street?”—And it is oftener than otherwise found that 
this form of gambling is responsible for the ruin of these 
persons.The same may be said of 
ADVERTISING DOCTORS. 
As we would not employ a physician who advertises 
his cures and sets forth his own ability, we warn others 
against such, as we regard them unsafe. Yet tile number 
of letters asking if we include this person, or will not ex¬ 
cept that one, is very large. We wish we could save 
others and ourselves the trouble of writing, by stating so 
distinctly and emphatically, that it would suffice for some 
months, that we make, no exceptions .Here is a droll 
way of exposing a fraud. A person in Tennessee thinks 
that parties who arc advertising some wonderful seeds 
are injuring the public and also the reputation of the 
town ; he cites the names of several persons who will give 
evidence that the seed is a fraud, and then 
DOES NOT SIGN HIS OWN NAME I 
This is a new illustration of the story of the cat and the 
chestnuts_The Special agents of the P. O. Department 
are doing much more to protect, the public than appears 
on the surface ; their great difficulty is, that the law is so 
defective that smart swindlers can evade it, and carry on 
their business while they laugh at tlie officers ; all that 
they can do in Bitch cases is to expose those rascals which 
the law will not reach. Mr. B. H. Camp, the special agent 
at Pittsburg, Pa., sends us an account of the doings of a 
person calling himself an agent of 
M. M. HOWARD & CO., 
who profess to be manufacturers of oils, gasoline, naphtha, 
axle and car-grease, at Pittsburgh. The chap pretends to 
take orders for the articles named, at much less than the 
market rates, and then from this makes a very liberal 
discount for cash in advance. The swindler has been 
operating largely in Minnesota, Dakota Terr., and Mis¬ 
souri ; when last heard from, he was in Atchison Co., 
Mo. “M. M. Howard & Co.” are like Sairey Gamps’ 
Mrs. Harris— 
“THERE A1NT NO SUCH PUSSON.” 
That a swindler should try to operate in this manner, 
is not strange, but that he should find any one who 
could be tempted by unusually low prices—the very 
thing that should excite suspicion—to giving him cash 
in advance, is certainly surprising. The matter was ex¬ 
posed by the numerous letters for M. M. Howard & Co., 
received at the Pittsburgh P. O. ; these proved to be com¬ 
plaints that their “agent” had been paid cash in ad¬ 
vance, and the goods had not been received, and are evi¬ 
dence of a lack of business caution that I he old woman 
who keeps a peanut stand on a New York street would 
not be guilty of. The only remedy in such cases has been 
administered by this “agent.”_Divining rods have 
been used to find water and mineral veins, and, strange 
to say, there are people who believe in their efficacy. 
[N. B. —Do not write ns to tell of cases in which the rod 
has worked. We will not discuss the influence of the 
moon, the change of wheat into chess, the efficacy of the 
7th eon of the 7th son, animal magnetism, spiritualism, 
or divining rods.] But these are outdone by a chap in 
Massachusetts, who uses the rods to find 
VEINS OP ELECTRICITY. 
He claims that he can tell where the lightning-rods 
should be placed to insure protection. Nothing but a 
want of knowledge of the laws of electricity can induce 
any to believe in this nonsense. Electricity is a good 
thing for the medical quacks. “ Doct.” Campbell, 
THE “ VITAPATHIC ” MAN 
of Cincinnati, has got hold of it, and for once electricity 
has got tlie worst of it; he beats Ajax, Bootjaks, or any of 
those “ old ancients,” who had a time with lightning. 
He sells electric machines, and the stuff that they grind 
out is none of your common kind of lightning; we have 
heard of “greased lightning,” but this beats that. What 
its different currents will do when applied separately, is 
remarkable, but “ its double compound, vital alterative 
current,” is the current for our currency. Just see what 
this double, compound, back-action, reciprocating, self- 
sustaining current, will do, when it fairly gets at it. 
“This current passing through in a proper manner will 
vitalize all medicines, and all vegetable, animal, and hu¬ 
man forms [according to this, tlie human is not an ani¬ 
mal form 1] ; will cure diseases, restore life, and prevent 
death.” It would he comforting like, if we could hon¬ 
estly stop there, but fairness compels us to give the rest 
—“ even after all other applications of electricity have 
failed”—“most lame and impotent conclusion.”—But 
what is this electric talk to another treatise by the same 
“Doctor,” which is nothing less than “Introduction to 
A LESSON ON OCCULT SCIENCE, 
previous to teaching the Full Power.” Here we learn 
that “ there is a hidden power in Nature, invincible and 
sublime.” A high old power it is, for besides being vari¬ 
ously seen and heard, it is “felt in the balmy air, in the 
mineral magnet, in tlie perfuming vegetable, in the elec¬ 
tric eel, in the charming serpent, in the magnetic man, 
and in the fascinating woman.” This shows that it is a 
power worth having, and there are some seven pages 
more of the same sort; as a power it knocks Corliss’ 
Centennial engine out of sight, for do we not read: 
“This newly discovered power is stronger than steam, 
swifter than electricity, and more subtle than magnetism. 
It is the power of all powers, and the power from which 
all other powers derive their power.” “ Occult science ” 
—we should say so I Recollect that this is merely an “ in¬ 
troduction. previous to teaching the Full Power.” Let 
us be thankful that the “ pow-woiv ” ends before we get 
to the “ full power.”_After dealing with the occult sci¬ 
ences, after being on familiar terms with electricity and 
“ vitapathy ” and things, and having iiad a glimpse at 
that powerful “ power,” it is rather a relief to come from 
this exalted humbuggery down to the real 
OLD FASHIONED QUACK MEDICINE, 
that doesn’t go poking among the stars and the light¬ 
nings, but is of the earth, earthy, one of the real old sort, 
which shows that tlie pattern is not lost, but that what 
has been, shall be, so long as there are people who will 
believe nonsense, and have dollars to pay for trash. What 
is a quack medicine without the story of its origin, and 
what is the use of a story, unless it is both pathetic and 
absurd ? The stuff it is 
“ LU-CU-PI-A,” 
which is not so bad, as a name. The circular is a model 
in its way, small, but comprehensive—a solid chunk, 
and so satisfying 1 The hand of the master is visible in 
the very first line, which reads, “The King of Terror 
Baffled 1 He has been that so much, that we should 
suppose that had become chronic, and his majesty used 
to it by this time. The next line is “ Lu-cu-pi a.” Then 
follows the portrait of a young lady who—but we antici¬ 
pate : the graven picture is nothing to the word painting 
that comes presently. Under the picture is, “Take, and 
Live.”—We admit that this is a little puzzling at the 
start, whether “ Lucupia ” is the name of the young lady, 
and she is to be taken for “ better and for worse,” or 
whether Lucupia is to be taken, that we may live and 
baffle the K. 0. T., are points that we look to the history 
to clear up. The history begins: “In one of the New 
England States there lives a family”—One of the essen¬ 
tial qualities of history is truthfulness, and here we 
have it. “One member of his family was a lady,” 
—as often happens in the New Eng-and States, but 
such a lady, “ with a sweet, tender face, witii dark- 
glowing eyes (ah 1), with coral-tinted lips (oh 1), with 
rosy-tinted cheeks (’m)l and amber curls” (whew!) 
Tlie possessor of these could be no common sort of a 
lady, and we are not surprised to read that: “ She was as 
graceful as a gazelle, as light hearted as a bird, and as 
spirited as an antelope”—a sort of menagerie, or great 
moral show kind of a girl, you seel Nothwithstand- 
ing all this, the lady “ took sick ’’—that isn’t exactly the 
way it is told in the circular; that says: “But, as frost 
destroys the fairest flower, so does disease the most per¬ 
fect woman.” Sick she was, “Affliction sore, long time 
she bore, physicians was in vain”—of course, they 
always are in these histories, and of course she was given 
up; then Ada (not an appropriate name, as they couldn’t 
aid her), she went and 
“dreamt a dream.” 
Of course she did it three times running—it always 
takes three times. To make matters short, in this dream 
she saw an herb—she never saw it before—Charlie must 
take her out botanizing, Charlie refuses—girl will go—will 
die otherwise—Charlie yields—she goes—stream—trees 
death seemed near—“one wild cry of joy”—“There, 
