AMERICAN AGRICULTURIST. 
457 
bushels per acre, the lowest was not worth securing. 
South Australia has secured the Grand Prize at Paris, for 
wheat, and is destined to be one of the greatest wheat- 
producing countries on the globe; we never had such 
good prospects of a large yield as we have now. Un¬ 
fortunately, late frosts or red rust may again blight 
our hopes. Should your readers require any further in¬ 
formation on wheat-growing in South Australia, you have 
only to ask for it and it shall be furnished.” 
Sundry Humbugs. 
Here, at the close of the 
year, we find our humbug 
budget quite as large as, if 
not larger than, it was at 
the beginning, and we na¬ 
turally ask ourselves if our 
work in this department has 
been productive of any 
good. We do not regard the 
enlarged correspondence 
in this line as indicating 
that fraud is on the in¬ 
crease, or more successful 
than heretofore. It only 
shows that our influence is 
extending, and as our ex¬ 
posures become more wide¬ 
ly known, we are more fre¬ 
quently applied to by those 
who have received the pro¬ 
posals of swindlers, and 
those who, having been 
duped, wish to warn others. Had we not the satisfac¬ 
tion of knowing that our labors have been productive of 
good, we should not, as a matter of choice, continue 
these exposures. We do not find room to publish the 
many letters of thanks and appreciation of our labors 
that constantly come to us; indeed, we seldom make a 
journey of any considerable length without being per¬ 
sonally thanked by persons for our efforts in this direc¬ 
tion. Some swindles appear to have a short run. and are 
heard of no more; others are persistent and perennial, 
and continue, if not the same in form, the same in na¬ 
ture, year after year. We write no valedictories to our 
readers, as we assume that our present friends will con¬ 
tinue, and bring some others with them; but the end 
of the year is a fitting time for calling attention to 
those leading forms of fraud that now prevail. Firstly, 
THE FRAUDS UPON FARMERS, 
which are much more frequent than is generally sup¬ 
posed, as the majority of the victims, ashamed of having 
been duped, “grin and bear” the loss in silence. Those 
who operate among farmers have a shrewd knowledge of 
human—we may say, farmer—nature. They know that 
farmers, who generally work so hard for what they earn, 
will look with favor upon a scheme which will allow 
them to make money both honorably and easily. Be¬ 
sides this they know that farmers, being generally hon¬ 
est themselves, are unsuspicious of others, and may be 
caught by methods that would not succeed with shop¬ 
keepers and others who are always on the look-out for 
some crookedness. We have often printed the injunction. 
FARMERS, BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU SIGN, 
and have wondered if there were no easy method of 
keeping it always before them. If our humbug column 
could so impress its importance, that every farmer, or 
other reader, would always, and habitually and carefully, 
read and understand whatever they put their names to, 
we should feel that our year’s work had been attended 
with most useful results. Here is one of the simplest— 
and we regret to say, commonest-instances. Scene—a 
farm-house in Queens Co., N. Y. A glib-tongued chap 
comes in with a Patent Rest for a wagon pole or tongue 
—no rest, patent or other, for the waggin' tongues of 
these chaps—he convinces farmer that this is something 
every other farmer must have-in fact, can’t live with¬ 
out; they have only to be known, to “ sell like hot 
cakes,” at $5 each; and as he, with the glib-tongue, must 
leave by next train, he will appoint farmer agent for the 
sale. Fanner does not know that he has made the same 
offer at the last house, and will do the same at the next. 
He thinks that the offer, half the amount, $2.50, on each 
one sold, is liberal for his share, and consents to become 
the agent. That there may be no mistake about the 
matter, farmer will please write down his address, in bis 
book, so that the goods may come all right. A proper 
enough request, and the farmer writes his name very 
plainly. Days, a week, two weeks passed, but no wagon- 
pole things came. But something else came. Neighbor 
Blank, who lives up the road, called to see if it was con¬ 
venient for the farmer to pay that little note. “Note 1 ” 
He owed no note to any man living. Neighbor B. 
showed a note for $15, on demand, which, having the 
money doing nothing, he had bought at a slight shave of 
the wagon-pole man. Queen’s Co. farmer could not deny 
the signature. In merely giving his address, he had 
signed a note which was all in legal form. When we hear 
of such cases every month, is not our warning needed ? 
A similar case occurred in CalhouD Co., Mich., but here 
THE FARMER OUTWITTED THE ROGUE. 
We wish we had space for the wife’s letter just as 
written, but it is too long. Wife is a careful reader of the 
Am. Agriculturist, especially the Humbug columns. Hus¬ 
band was disposed to make light of this, and boasted that 
he couldn’t be caught siguinga paper that he didn’t know 
all about. Stump-puller man came along, induced farmer 
to become agent, offering large profits. Farmer told his 
wife that he had signed an agreement to become agent. 
Wife asked if he had read the paper. “No, he had not 
his glasses with him.”—Wife told him that he had proba¬ 
bly committed himself, and so alarmed him that he 
went off to the neighboring town, found stump-puller 
chap, declined being an agent, and stump-puller man pre¬ 
tended to cross off his name with much flourish. In a 
week two chaps drive up to the farmer’s house, inform 
him that there are 25 stump-pullers at the depot to take 
away and pay freight on, and that they would collect pay 
for one ordered for his own use. Farmer denied sending 
for them—chap, to prove that he did, takes out a paper 
with a triumphant—“ you won’t deny yourown signature, 
will you?” Farmer would examine his signature more 
closely, gets hold of the paper, crushes it in his hand, and 
tells them he would keep it. Chaps threaten penitenti¬ 
aries, state prison and search warrants, but farmer holds 
on to the paper. Chaps call in the wife, asking her to 
reason with the husband—wife tells him if he has the 
paper to keep it. She told the chaps that she reads the 
American Agriculturist, which they didn’t seem to like, 
and gave them a piece of her mind on swindling in gen¬ 
eral. They propose various compromises, but all are re¬ 
fused, and they at last depart with many threats. The 
wife writes that she thinks that a man who will sign a 
paper without reading it should be punished a little, for 
she found that he had signed an agreement that would 
have ruined them to comply with.... Inquiries about 
THE SEMINOLE GOLD MINING CO. 
continue to come. A sufficient answer to all these is 
found in our “Editorial Correspondence” on page 458. 
Certainly that should satisfy the most credulous. We 
learn that this swindle is taking considerable money 
from some of the Western towns in one dollar shares. In 
one flourishing town in Illinois a lady acted as agent for 
their sale. One correspondent sends a copy of a letter 
from an officer of this “ hole in the ground company,” in 
which lie speaks of our remarks as “ idle and malicious.” 
We wonder how he likes those of the “ Laramie Senti¬ 
nel,” quoted on the page referred to—that “does the 
thing up brown." One correspondent in Lynn, Mass., 
writes that he owns thirty-one shares, but does “not 
know for certain if they are honest or not.” Why should 
there be such a fascination about a gold mine as to in¬ 
duce persons to invest in it blindly ? .. .The 
“IS THIS YOUR SIGNATURE?” 
letters of Clark & Co., who “ adjust claims,” continue 
to come. It is funny that the amount of “ Mining Stock ” 
is always an even $500. Of course these remarkable 
adjusters that adjust things, have a way of getting hold 
of genuine signatures, and this puzzles the writers there¬ 
of. We suggest that those who are at a loss to guess how 
Clark & Co. got possession of their signature, consider 
whether they have had, in the past, any correspondence 
with any “patent agency” in this city_It ps with re¬ 
gret that we announce that 
THAT COUSIN IS NOT YET FOUND. 
This time it is H. P. Jones & Co. who are in the lost 
cousin business—though how a Co. can have a cousin, we 
can’t understand. It is an old dodge, but may be new to 
some. “Jones & Co. ” use the singular pronoun ; his 
letters inform people that. “ In looking over your State 
Directory, your name attracted my attention”—“Jones 
& Co.” reads directories—and very interesting they are ; 
though the story is not altogethercontinuous. “ A cousin 
of mine (me being J. & Co.), bearing the same name as 
yours, after the war, left his regiment, and we have not 
heard from him since."—Poor Jonesey* Co. 1 * * * “If 
you are my cousin” (“you will not have a strawberry 
mark on your left arm ”—does he say ?—not a bit, no 
sentiment about J. & Co., he means biz; he continues :) 
“ I can do you a favor and you can help me ”—“ Jones *fc 
Co” is the agent of a lottery—circular enclosed—J. & 
Co. will enclose coz. a ticket good for any one of the 
drawings—we haven’t the least doubt it is just as “ good ” 
for one as for another—“ with this understanding, that I 
will arrange it so that you will draw a large prize, (who 
says that lotteries are not honorably conducted games of 
chance 1) i f yon will act as agent for the sale of tickets. * * 
If you accept * * * I will arrange it so that you will 
draw the prize in next week’s drawing.” Then our long 
lost “ cousin ” gets, in a few days, a circular from W. P. 
McCall, notifying him that his ticket “has drawn an 
assorted lot of gold jewelry (45 pieces), valued at $160 ’’— 
of course coz. has only to send and get his 45 pieces—not 
quite. “ The percentage due for packing, shipping, eic. 
(especially ‘ etc.’), is $13.50.” Who would be cousin 
to “ H. P. Jones & Co. 1 ” He is a very numerous cousin, 
he lives in ever so many States ; Jones & Co. can arrange 
his ticket, but he can’t get his stuff clear of that percen¬ 
tage. H. P., don’t you think that there is a gossamer thin¬ 
ness about this " cousin ” business ? 
“THE QUEER” OR COUNTERFEIT MONEY 
humbug, is, with the exception of lotteries and quack 
medicines, the most venerable of all the swindles. It was 
sufficiently noticed last month. A recent feature is the 
circular of A. C. Chapman—and a very pretty signature 
you make, A. C.—who don’t have any of “a certain queer 
class of money ” himself, but he knows a chap—man 
who has some prime, “on the most liberal terms.” 
LOTTERIES OF ALL SORTS 
are among the perennial nuisances, and come in so many 
forms that we have no space to specify them—those only 
who let them entirely alone are safe from the more 
fraudulent forms. These lottery chaps show skill in ad¬ 
vertising. The “Commercial Gazette” is an innocent¬ 
looking paper. Its outside pages have some talk 
about angels, and a quotation from the “ Christian 
Union,” all as “ sugar-coating,” for the two inside pages 
are broad-side lottery advertisements. Yet these things, 
in spite of law, and the vigilance of post-office officials, 
go wherever the mail reaches, especially the Far West. 
THE SECRET SERVICE NONSENSE 
and other Cincinnati schemes seem to lie very quiet. 
Whether that wonderful corps of detectives is full, or 
these don’t subscribe to the “ Gazette,” or whatever the 
cause, it seems to have subsided. What, too, have become 
of those distinguished lamp people, and that remarkable 
“Art” distribution. It must be very dull in Cincinnati. 
Of course reference to some of the leading forms of 
humbuggery, must include 
QUACK DOCTORS AND THEIR MEDICINES, 
which are more numerous than any other. We have not 
space to enumerate or specify. Our advice to every one 
and all the time is, take no secret remedy whatever; do 
not give it to the members of yoar family ; do not treat 
your domestic animals with any secret compound, and 
finally, have sufficient respect for our good Mother Earth, 
and do not desecrate her, by dosing her with secret fer¬ 
tilizers .. We would say to those who have been invei¬ 
gled by promises of profit, to undertake the sale of 
quack medicines—no matter whether several “Barks.” 
Bitters, Pills or Plasters; whatever contract you have 
made, the law will no doubt hold you to no matter how 
worthless the stuff may be. Get out of the scrape as you 
can, for you may be sure that one who will work upon 
the fears of the sick, and hold out false hopes to those 
already beyond hope, in their lying circulars, will have 
no mercy on a well man. Do not write to us, for we 
cannot help you. A bargain is a bargain. At the same 
time don’t mind threats. Isn’t one of these quacks who 
assumes the Friends’ language, and thee’s and thou’s, 
sweetly in his quack pamphlets, just threatening a little 
more than he can back up. The barks of some dogs 
are worse than their bites. We did not intend to specify 
any quack, but here is one too good to pass unnoticed. So 
MAKE ROOM FOR SAGENDORPH 
and his battery 1 S. is “ offering to the public Batteries 
which are made of newly discovered metals." He need 
not add that they produce “ results not less startling than 
salutory"— for his mere announcement is “startling” 
" newly discovered metals 1” there must be at least two 
of them—and don’t yon kuow.Sagendoi ph, that one “ new¬ 
ly discovered metal” is all that the greatest chemist in the 
world would ask as his passport to undying fame 1 But 
here are metals: Sag. we congratulate you. Your bat¬ 
tery which is “constantly though imperceptibly impreg¬ 
nating the Nerves and- Blood with new Electric life ” is a 
battery that beats the telephone, microphone, phono¬ 
graph or any other phone or graph ever invented. 
Farming East—Farming West- 
Farming South. 
A capital joke, upon himself, is doubtless re¬ 
membered by many readers, of an editor starting 
an agricultural paper in a Western Capital town. 
In his first number, with 21 octavo pages of reading 
matter, he used two of them in urging people not to 
go East, hut to take a home paper, “adapted to their 
own wants.” The joke was, that of the other 19 
pages, 16 of them were filled with matter prepared 
for and first published in the American Agriculturist, 
though less than half of the articles were credited. 
They were scissored from places where their pater¬ 
nity was omitted. This is an illustration of a good 
deal of nonsense uttered to help out somebody’s 
