116 
AMERICAN AGRICULTURIST, 
[March, 
Nuts and Nubbins. 
A stuck-up thing—A show-bill. 
Diet for prize-fighters—Pound cake. 
A tornado is a great blow to any country. 
We desire to be underrated only by assessors. 
A musical instrument dealer advertises his drums that 
“ can’t be beat.” 
Charles Lamb said of one of his critics, “ The more I 
think of him, the less I think of him.” 
In a written-spelling exercise, “ Foregoes ” was given 
out: a little boy wrote, “ Go, go, go, go.” 
When a cat gives an entertainment on the top of a 
■wall, it isn’t the cat we object to; it’s the waul. 
A man fell in a fit in a tailor’s shop. His envious rival 
said, “ That’s the first fit ever seen over there.” 
Many a rough customer has never known how good he 
was until he killed somebody and heard the lawyer in 
charge sum up his virtues. 
After a Texas jury had disagreed for ninety-six hours, 
the judge got a verdict in two minutes by sending in 
word that a circus was in town. 
“ How far is it to Butler, if I keep straight on ! ”— 
“Well, about twenty-five thousand miles, but if you turn 
the other way it’s about half a mile 1” 
Editor: “Our friend W. has presented us with a 
basket of grapes, for which he will accept our compli¬ 
ments. some of which are two inches in diameter.” 
An old lady in Wichita says she never could imagine 
where all the Smiths came from until she saw in a New 
England town a sign, “ Smith Manufacturing Company.” 
A washerwoman, commended by her pastor for regular 
attendance at church, said, “ Oh, yes, after my hard 
week’s work it rests me so to come and sit in church and 
have nothing to think about.” 
“ Which do you think would be the easiest for me to 
change myself into—a lion, a horse, or an ass ?” asked a 
conceited fellow of a friend.—“ Oh, into an ass, as that 
would require the least change.” 
A c for an h. A cow jumped on the track before an ex¬ 
press train. The report of the danger said: “As the 
safest way, the engineer put on full steam, dashed agaiust 
the cow, and literally cut her into calves.” 
In answer to a Music Committee, an applicant wrote: 
“ Gentlemen, I noticed your advertisement for an organ¬ 
ist. and music teacher, either lady or gentleman. Having 
been both for several years, I offer you my services.” 
‘Mr. Smith,” you said you once officiated in the 
pulpit.”—“Yes, sir: I held the light to the man that 
preached.”—“Ah! the court understood yon differently, 
tt supposed that you delivered the sermon.”—“No, sir; 
I only threw light upon it.” 
A life insurance agent tells us that only last week a 
man insured his life for §20,000, paying a single premium, 
and died the same night, and to day his family has (he 
money. He advises ns to follow the good example. We’ll 
think it over, and ask the family about it. 
A Chicago man having put his new trotter to his best 
speed, proudly asked a policeman why he did not arrest 
him for fast driving, and was answered : “ No cause, sir; 
you haven’t driven fast enough yet. to violate no ordin¬ 
ance.”—A trotting horse was offered for sale in the next 
morning’s papers. 
Teacher (trying to explain repentance): “ If a bad boy 
steals an orange, and his mother catching him at it, tells 
him kindly how wicked it is and how grieved she is, 
don’t yon think that boy ought to feel sorry ?”—Scholar: 
“Yessum.”—Teacher: “And why’’’—Scholar: “Cause 
hehain’t et the orange before his mother cotched him 
and took it away from him.” 
If men were turned outof office onlywhen they behaved 
badly, or because others could perforin their dirties bet¬ 
ter, we should find their chief attention devoted to the 
performance of good work , because that would be the 
root of their tenure of office. Now their most earnest 
thought is how to carry the next election for their party, 
as therein lies their tenure of office. 
A weary peasant taking his first railway ride on a pitch 
•dark night, wished to take a nap, but was bothered to 
find a place for his huge three-cornered hat in the crowded 
•car. “ Here , put it in the cupboard, my good man,” said 
a commercial traveler, opening the window. The drowsy 
peasant complied, murmuring his thanks, and express¬ 
ing his ignorance of the ways and conveniences of the 
rail. He was soon in a sweet sleep ; before he awoke the 
commercial traveler prudently found a seat in another car. 
A rich and ingenious mechanician constructed a safe 
which he declared to be burglar-proof. To convince the 
incredulous of the Diet he placed .a §500 note in his 
pocket, had himself locked in the safe, with a liberal sup¬ 
ply of provisions, and the key cast into the river, declar¬ 
ing that he would give the money to the man who un¬ 
fastened the door. All the blacksmiths and carpenters 
in the country have been boring and blasting at that safe 
for a week with every kind of tool and explosive mixture 
known to science, and the man is there yet! He has con¬ 
vinced everybody that it is the safest safe ever invented. 
Fears are entertained that the whole concern will have 
to be melted down in the blast furnace before he is re- 
leasedi’aiul efforts are to be made to pass in through the 
keyhole a fire-proof jacket, to protect the inventor while 
the iron is melting. 
A dilapidated old man entered a lawyer’s office with a 
book under his arm, and looking around, apparently 
stupidly, inquired if he could see the lawyer. He was 
pointed to a sign reading: “ Very busy just now; will 
see you later.” The man went out. The lawyer heard 
that his . visitor had a §50,000 case. Much vexed, the 
lawyer tore down his sign. Soon after the man called 
again with a book under his arm, and was received with 
great cordiality. In? sat down and asked, “Very busy 
this morning; I don’t want to annoy you Oh, no, 
plenty of time now; you can’t annoy me at all; I shall 
listen to you with pleasure.”—The old man slowly undid 
the book and began : “ I’d like to call your attention to 
this Life of Napoleon ; it is said the engravings alone 
cost $50.00ff and vet the book is selling at only-.” 
Xbe Deatb of Alfred Gray.— Just as we go to 
press, we see the announcement that Alfred Gray, Sec. 
of the Kansas State Board of Agriculture, died at Topeka, 
January 23d. No particulars are given of an event 
that will bring sadness to a wide circle of friends. We 
must at present content ourselves by saying, that no State 
has done more for her agriculture, thaii Kansas, and this 
has been largely due to the fact, that Alfred Gray was the 
most efficient Secretary. A practical farmer himself, he 
appreciated the needs of farmers, and worked most faith¬ 
fully to supply them. Among the many pleasant recol¬ 
lections that cluster around the Centennial, are those of 
the delightful hours passed in the society of this most 
geuiial gentleman, and surely no State was more worthily 
represented, than Kansas in his person. The loss 
which Kansas sustains is a loss to the whole country. 
A Good Knife is a good thing, and the further one 
is “ off soundings,” whether at sea, or beyond cities and 
stores, the more does he need a knife upon which he can 
rely. The cutlery sold in small places, and frontier towns, 
is much like the celebrated razors of Pindar, “ made to 
sell.” One who can be reached by mail, can be sure to 
get a good knife, a fact, duly set forth in its proper place. 
Young Forest Trees.— The raising of most for¬ 
est trees from the seed is not difficult, provided they can 
have the proper care in weeding, shading, etc. But this 
care is what the fiirmer who most needs the trees, is the 
least able to give, as it is demanded just at the time when 
he is busiest. We announced last year, that a great help 
was afforded to farmers in this matter by Messrs. Robert 
Douglas & Sons, of Waukegan, Ill. This firm which an¬ 
nually raises many acres of tree seedlings, last year tried 
the experiment of sending packages of young trees by 
mail. This was attended by such favorable results, that 
they propose to continue to do so this year. So greatly 
were we impressed with its importance, that in making 
up our list of useful articles for premiums, “ Forest Trees 
by Mail,” No. 129, were included. By supplying the 
farmer on the prairies with trees, that are, so to speak, 
beyond the dangers incident to childhood, tree planting 
is rendered a very simple matter, and it should lead to in¬ 
creased activity in this respect. The Messrs. Douglas 
say, and we doubt not, truly, that there is no appreciable 
direct profit in the enterprise, and that they hope to find 
their ultimate returns, in an increased love for tree-plant¬ 
ing throughout the whole of the present treeless regions. 
Mixed Farming.— Until our country is settled 
up, and the virgin fertility of the new soil is beginning 
to be exhausted, we can not hope for that safe and solid 
foundation for our agriculture which comes from Mixed 
Farming. When every farmer comes to that point when 
he knows that his land is a medium through which crude 
fertilizing elements pass in becoming food—vegetables, 
fruits, grains, flesh—he will feel the importance of a 
variety of products—a rotation of crops—and the value 
of animals in the economy of the farm. ■ As our country 
grows older from necessity, if for no other reason, farm¬ 
ers will be more thorough students of their profession. 
Alkali Soils. —“ Red River,” Grand Forks, Dakota, 
writes, there are patches of a few acres, in a place where 
the soil is so filled with alkali that nothing will grow on 
them, and asks why it is only in patches, and if anything 
can be done to get rid of it_These alkaline patches ap¬ 
pear when the subsoil is so impervious as to prevent all 
natural drainage. The water does not drain off after the 
rains, but is evaporated ; water is continually brought to 
the surface from the subsoil by capillary attraction, and 
the salts it contains (Lime, Soda, and Potash), are left on 
the surface. The tronble can be remedied by draining, 
or by draining and irrigation. Drainage will give the 
water a chance to pass off, and in time the rains will 
wash out the excess of alkali. If irrigation can be em¬ 
ployed, this washing out process will be much hastened. 
Irrigation without drainage would he of no use, for when 
the surface became dry again, the old state of things is 
restored. In some portions of Colorado, the reclaimed 
alkali soils are regarded as their most valuable land. 
Tree Peddlers Again.— “J. M. L.,” Vienna, 
Kans., writes that three persons came to his town pre¬ 
tending to be agents of a certain nursery in Illinois. 
They offered “Russian apples at $1 each, claiming them 
to be imported from Russia at one year old, and to be 
borer proof, pear trees grown one year in France, and far 
superior to anything ever offered in this country, cherry 
trees grown one year in England, and peaches grown one 
year in Canada, and far superior to native trees.”—We 
never heard of the nursery that these parties claim to rep¬ 
resent, still there may be such. “They also claim that 
there are but four nurseries that import fruit in this way 
two of them in New York, one in Ohio, and this one in 
Illinois.” Our correspondent asks: “Are there such 
apples as Russian Borer-proof, and are fruit trees im¬ 
ported in the manner stated, or is the whole thing a 
swindle, and is there any way to get out of receiving the 
stock ordered ? ”—We get every spring and fall more or 
less letters of the same purport, from persons, who, per¬ 
suaded by the representations of “ nursery agents,” give 
them orders, and afterwards suspecting that the stories 
are not true, repent of their haste, and write to ask if 
they are obliged to abide by their agreement. Of course 
if one has ordered trees under false representations, he 
can not be bound by his agreement. The trouble will be 
to prove that the representations are false. If the truth 
is known, it will probably turn out that every one who 
ordered trees from these chaps has signed a note which 
is held against him. They got the name by asking for 
his address, or in some other way. The chance of re¬ 
pudiating the order will depend upon what kind of a 
judge or justice “dispenses with the law” in the locality. 
Take the case in point: Russian apples are not “ borer- 
proof,” and they are only to be preferred to other apples 
in localities where their probable greater hardiness will 
allow them to endure the climate. Kansas does not need 
them. Pear, cherry, and peach trees of one year old, are 
not generally imported from the countries named, still it 
can not be proved that the trees were not imported. If it 
was claimed that the trees were any bettor for being 
grown a year in another country, that is a false repre¬ 
sentation. We have little doj,ibt that the whole affair is a 
swindle. The trouble will be to convince the court of 
that should the case be brought up. All anxiety and 
trouble may be saved, as well as the future disappoint¬ 
ment when the trees come into bearing, by the exercise 
of a proper caution. Every one should know that grow¬ 
ing a peach in Canada, or a cherry tree in England, will 
in no manner alter its nature, and the mere fact that an 
apple was raised from the seed in Russia can not possibly 
protect its trunk from a Yankee borer. Still another 
way of avoiding trouble with tree peddlers, is not to buy 
of them at all, but purchase of well-known nurserymen. 
Sorghum iu America—Its Introduction. 
An Interesting Bit of History. 
In the spring of 1856, the Editor of the American Agri¬ 
culturist received a small parcel of Sorghum seed from 
Messrs. Vilmorin, Andreux & Co., the noted seedsmen.of 
Paris, who had brought it from China. It was planted.in 
rich garden soil, and grew 13 to 15 feet high, maturing 
its seed well. The children of the neighborhood found 
the juices of the stalks so sweet that they used up a large 
part of the three rows 25 feet in length. A sketch of one 
of the plants was made and published, with a description, 
in this journal for February, 1857. It was subsequently 
announced that the seed would be distributed among our 
readers, to be divided equally among all who should send 
an envelope directed to themselves—say from 25 to 50 
seeds each. This publication brought samples to the 
office from three other parties within 30 miles of N. Y. 
City. Soon after a stranger came in and tried hard to 
buy all our seed. When his offer reached $8.00 a pound, 
he was informed that it would not be sold at any price, 
as it was already promised to our readers. He then pro¬ 
duced a newspaper item from the West, where he had 
been traveling, and said the interest was so great that he 
could divide a pound into a hundred or more parcels and 
sell them quickly at §1.00 a parcel. As soon as he left 
the office, the Editor sent out and bought all the seed in 
the three localities he had heard of, at §5 a pound. At 
the same time he wrote to the Paris seedsmen to send 
him all the seed they had, and draw on him for the pay. 
To his surprise—consternation almost—they returned 
word by the next steamer that they had shipped 1,000 
lbs. (no Atlantic Cable then) and held 600 lbs. more to his 
order. The whole was ordered at once, and when the 1,000 
lbs. arrived it was immediately announced that none of 
it would be sold, but that a packet of at least 400 seeds 
would be presented to any reader of the American Agri¬ 
culturist who desired it—enough to experiment with and 
to provide an abundant supply of plants the next year if 
it proved valuable. Thirty-One Thousand (31,000) Par¬ 
cels were distributed to our readers throughout the 
country, and planted. Enough was saved and sent to 
Georgia to grow 34,500 lbs. (17% tons) of seed, during 
the summer of 1S57. This was sent to this office, and a 
full pound given to every reader desiring it for 1858- 
over 30,000 pound parcels were thus distributed. 
From the above seed thus widely and freely scatter¬ 
ed was produced at least nine-tenths of all the Sorghum 
grown in this country. (A small quantity was sent out 
from the Patent Office, and some sold by dealers). Hun¬ 
dreds of millions of gallons of syrup were made and used 
during the war when the usual supply o Southern grown 
sugar was cut off. It was worth many millions of dollars 
to the country. But such difficulty was experienced in 
producing good sugar that the cultivation fell off after the 
supply of South grown sugar came in. Quite a “ boom ” 
was started later on by high claims asserted for a variety 
called the African “ Imphee,” but this soon died out. 
Recently, the improved processes of obtaining the sac¬ 
charine matter in crystalline form, as sugar, have given 
a new impetus, and very promising results are antici¬ 
pated, as noted on pages 101 - 102 . 
