218 
AMERICAN AGRICULTURIST. 
For the American Agriculturist. 
A PRACTICAL KNOWLEDGE OE DOMESTIC 
LABOR NECESSARY TO EVERY HOUSEKEEPER. 
In our free America, where every man must 
rise or sink to his own proper level, it is par¬ 
ticularly important that every woman should 
know how to look well to the ways of her 
household. Fortunes are easily made, and easily 
lost. The rich man of to-day is the beggar of 
to-morrow, and his daughters, accustomed to a 
life of luxury and idleness, must toil for their 
daily bread. The humble village maiden, 
reared amid the seclusions of country life, and 
perhaps under the pressure of the hard hand 
of poverty, may be one day called to preside in 
the Presidential mansion — -or, if her husband is 
not called to receive this highest gift in the 
hands of the nation, he may represent his State 
in the halls of legislation. His house will be 
the resort of friends accustomed to the proprie¬ 
ties of life, and if it is found destitute of the 
comforts of a well-ordered home, he will be an 
object of commiseration. 
No woman, in any position of society, can 
afford to lose the advantages which result from 
a thorough acquaintance with the art of house¬ 
keeping. She may not be obliged to perform 
its laborious duties with her own hands, but 
unless she knows the manner in which they 
should be done, she is unfit to direct others. 
It has often seemed to me surpassingly 
strange, that a young lady, who expects to be 
married, and to be called upon to take charge 
of a house, should feel so little interest in learn¬ 
ing how to acquit herself with honor in that 
sphere of life to which she looks forward as the 
consummation of her hopes, and the height of 
her ambition. I have no objection to young 
women’s deeming the subject of matrimony of 
great importance, or of looking forward to it as 
desirable in their own cases. Our Heavenly 
Father made us to love the employments of 
home, and to regard one of our own with plea¬ 
sant anticipations. “ It is not good for man to 
be aloneneither is it good for women to pass 
through life unsustained by the strong arm of 
a husband. But if woman is to be married, 
she must prepare herself to be a help -meet for 
him with whom she unites herself in the clos¬ 
est and strongest of bonds. She is not to 
marry for position, or wealth, or for a dwelling 
where she is to be mistress—but because love 
has united two hearts in one, and she feels 
within her the power to be all that is necessary 
to the happiness of him who has chosen her to 
reign in his heart and home. 
I know that many who are entirely ignorant 
of all household employments, when they first 
assume them, make efficient managers, and 
often acquire great wisdom in the mysteries of 
kitchen and pantry. But, I know it is at the 
expense of hours of anxiety, and grievious 
mortifications, and not unfrequently at the sa¬ 
crifice of much health and strength. It is al¬ 
ways distressing to feel that more is expected 
of us than we can perform, and especially, when 
we have voluntarily placed ourselves in circum¬ 
stances which imply ability to fulfil the duties 
those circumstances may impose. 
It will not do to depend on servants. They 
cannot feel the interest in your affairs which 
you should do yourself, and they are too often 
destitute of the judgment which would enable 
them to do well themselves. They should be 
hands guided by your head, to work skilfully 
and economically. Few, whom you can employ, 
know how to make good bread. If you have 
the practical knowledge, which will enable you 
to tell them how much yeast to use, how stiff 
to make the batter, or to mold the bread, and 
how to determine when it is ready for the oven, 
they will soon learn, and you have not only pro¬ 
vided for the health and comfort of your own 
family, but have taught them what will be of 
great importance to them in their future life. 
A little actual showing will be more successful 
than days and weeks of fretting because the 
bread is always sour, or heavy, and you, poor 
sufferer, are too ignorant to know how to apply 
the remedy. 
I can assure all aspirants for the honors and 
pleasures of an establishment of their own, 
that they will never find ignorance bliss, when 
they are monarchs of gridirons, dinner-pots, 
bread-boards, &c., and know not how to reduce 
them to submission. The old proverb says, “ a 
hungry man is always a cross man,” and I never 
found good nature emanate from poor bread, or 
from any thing else spoiled in the cooking. 
Anne Hope. 
craj-iook. 
A FRIGHTENED WIFE. 
Tiie Cincinnati Enquirer relates a funny 
piece of hair dyeing business, in which the prin¬ 
ciple participant was a Clevelander. 
A few days since a Benedict, whose silvery 
hair proclaimed him on the wrong side of fifty 
came to Cincinnati. Being a man of taste, as 
well as of means, he made the-House his 
residence. The morning after the arrival he 
visited the magnificent saloon of our friend A** 
F**, who observing that his customer’s hair and 
whiskers wore a very wintry appearance, sug¬ 
gested the propriety of his getting them dyed. 
Now our hero not being addicted to vanity, at 
first objected, but A-swore that it was a 
shame such silken locks with a natural wavy 
curl, should be allowed to retain their frosty 
character, and the gentleman finally resigned 
his cranium to the hands of A-, who very 
speedily—by the help of C-t’s cosmetic for 
changing red or gray hair to a beautiful brown 
or black—as the advertisement has it—trans¬ 
mogrified him from a rather antiquated speci¬ 
men of a gentleman in the “sere and yellow 
leaf,” to a juvenile-looking Adonis, of twenty- 
eight. The transformation was most gratifying 
to our hero, who being rather a good-looking 
fellow, felt proud of himself and accordingly 
displayed his handsome figure in the principle 
promenades of the city. His business con¬ 
cluded, he returned to his home in Cleveland, 
where he arrived late at night, and going 
straightway to his house, was admitted in the 
dark by his anxious spouse. Going to his 
apartment, he undressed himself, and without 
the formality of striking a light, got into bed, 
and in a short time was closely folded in the 
arms of his affectionate wife and Morpheus. 
The morning beams were dancing in diamond 
splendor upon the floor of the bed-chamber, 
when he was awakened by a terrific scream, and 
starting up he discovered his better-half rush¬ 
ing, very much terrified from the bed-room. 
Quick as thought he sprang from his bed and 
followed her, visions of madness floating through 
his imagination. At length she reached the 
parlor, and sinking upon a sofa, she fainted out¬ 
right. By dint of sal volitile and other restora¬ 
tives she was shortly revived, when gazing upon 
her husband, who was mournfully bending over 
her, she exclaimed that he was ruined, dishon¬ 
ored and undone. 
“ Be calm, dearest,” said he soothingly. 
At the sound of the voice she started, gave 
one piercing look, and as she recognized the 
well-known features, burst into tears, and sprung 
into his arms. It appears that upon waking, 
instead of the familiar “frosty pow” of her 
liege lord, she discovered a redundant quantity 
of dark brown hair and whiskers. This caused 
her alarm and flight from the martial couch. 
The lady, who is many years, the junior, is per¬ 
fectly charmed with the alteration, and feels 
quite proud of her old man. Thus the adven¬ 
ture turned out happily at last. 
-• ©•-- 
A SNEEZING COURT. 
The Cincinnati Columbian must be held res¬ 
ponsible for the following “sneezer:” 
During the progress of the examination of 
Minkhouse and Leary, for an outrage upon an 
idiot girl, as reported elsewhere, some person or 
persons, not having a due sense of the awful 
majesty of the law or the dignity of the court, 
scattered a villainous mixtux-e of snuff, Cayenne 
pepper, Baberry bark, and most probably a 
slight sprinkling of cowhage about the room. 
It happened at the time that the audience was 
extremely large, and of that mixed description 
that generally congregate about the purlieus 
of a Court of Justice. The insinuating dust 
soon began to take effect, a concert of sneezing 
mixed with coughing, first among the outsi¬ 
ders, made it impossible to understand one word 
from either judge, lawyer, witness, or prisoner. 
“Silence !” shouted the marshal. 
“ Si-an-ci-chi-chee-lence,” sneezed the deputy. 
By this time the epidemic had extended to 
within the bar, and there was as much cough¬ 
ing and sneezing as ever was heard within the 
House of Representatives during a prosy speech 
of an unpopular orator. 
“ Open the-ugh-win-chee-chee-chee-dow; oh, 
Lord!” exclaimed the prosecuting attorney. 
“ I suggest-ah-chee-te-that they be chiz turn¬ 
ed out,” gasped another lawyer. 
The judge, who by this time had coughed 
and sneezed, until his face was as red as the 
comb of a turkey cock, was struck by the idea, 
and a posse of officers being called from below, 
cleared the room of the unhappy multitude, who 
upon their egress into the street gave such a 
concerted diabolical sneeze that a couple of 
horses that were hitched outside, became scared, 
and breaking their bridles, scampered frantically 
away. 
AIM HIGH. 
It is said that when one of the ex-Presidents 
was a young man, and about leaving college, 
some of his classmates, who were settling their 
places for life, asked him : 
“And what do you mean to be ?” 
“ President of the United States,” was the 
prompt reply. 
They went their ways, and, in time his re¬ 
solve was accomplished; the young collegian 
stood at the head of the nation. 
The Manchester Guardian tells the following 
story of D’lsraeli, a popular English author and 
statesman: 
“When Mr. D’lsraeli was a boy at school, he 
was asked by a companion, who is now a res¬ 
pectable tradesman at High Wycombe, what 
course of action he meant to adopt in order to 
make his way in society. The young aspirant 
promptly replied: 
“ I mean to write a book which will make me 
famous. When I have purchased fame, I mean 
to get a seat in Parliament; and when once in 
Parliament, I shall be determined to become a 
right honorable.” 
All this has been fulfiled. And we believe 
the anecdote we have recorded solves the mys¬ 
tery which may cling to Mr. D’Israeli’s public 
career. 
Aim high, boys; hut remember, the top of 
the ladder is not to be reached by one mighty 
jump some fine day after you have become men . 
