AMERICAN AGRICULTURIST, 
895 
Colonies, were, and of right ought to be, free 
and independent. 
Thus, by numerous examples, we see that, 
however it may be with other nations, Ameri¬ 
cans need never dread to begin on Friday any 
undertaking, however momentous it may be.— 
Norfolk Beacon. 
“ZAT IS MY TRUNK." 
In the days of coaching over the Providence 
turnpike, before railway carriages were in esse, 
and baggage-crates existed, and when travelers 
had to keep a sharp look-out for their luggage, 
some forty or fifty passengers had just stepped 
on board the old “ Ben Franklin” and got under 
way on Narragausett Bay. A gentleman, who 
had occasion to get some of his wardrobe, had 
just hauled out from an immense pile of bag¬ 
gage stowed amidships, a new black leather 
trunk of portly dimensions, studded with brass 
nails, when a little withered Frenchman, of a 
mottled complexion, and fashionably dressed, 
darted from the crowd, interposing between 
our friend and his property, exclaiming cour¬ 
teously, but positively— 
"I beg your pardon, sare— mats pardonnez 
mai— you have got ze wrong cochon by ze 
oreilli —zat is my trunk !” 
“Not so, monsieur—I hope I know my own 
traps.” 
“ Restez Iransquille—h old on—dans un in¬ 
stant. I vill prove my props—aha! you see 
die key ?” Applying it to the lock, he threw 
up the lid, and then struck a triumphant atti¬ 
tude. “ My key unlock your trunk—eh ? tell 
me zat ?” 
“Stand out of the way!—it’s my trunk, I 
tell you!” 
“ Hold on von leetle minute—zose your 
shirts, eh ?” 
“ To be sure they are.” 
“ Zose your drawiares, eh ?” 
“ Certainly.” 
“Vait a moment, I will prove my props, 
sare,” and the little Frenchman, rummaging be¬ 
neath a pile of shirts and socks, produced a 
bottle, and said deliberately, with a hideous 
grin— 
“ Zat—your—bot-telle of Dom-free, Ish (Itch) 
ointment—sarc—eh? Ave you got von leetle 
Tsh! Zis you Remede for ze lepros (leprosy) 
eh? Ah! be dam ! I knew it vas my trunk!” 
It is needless to remark that our friend im¬ 
mediately “opened a wide gap” between him¬ 
self and the interesting victim of two of the 
most unpopular disorders know to suffering hu¬ 
manity. 
A Yankee met a Celestial in the streets of 
San Francisco, and with the characteristic in¬ 
quisitiveness of the race, accosted “ Opium” as 
follows: 
“ Where are you from ?” 
“ Hong Kong.” 
“ Where are you bound?” 
“ Geelong.” 
“ What tea arc you most fond of ?” 
“ Souchong.” 
“ What kind of fowl do you think the best ?” 
“ Chittagong.” 
“ What grapes do you prefer ?” 
“ Schuppernong.” 
“ What’s your name?” 
“ Ongolong.” 
A clergyman catechising the scholars in a 
Sunday-school in Wisconsin, asked a little boy 
how he thought Jonas felt while in the whale’s 
belly ? “ Pretty well down in the mouth, sir," 
was the prompt reply. 
“ Is a man and his wife one ?”—asked the wife 
of a man in a state of stupefaction, as she was 
holding his aching head in both hands. “ Yes I 
suppose so,” was the reply. “ Well, then,” 
said she, “ I came home very drunk last night, 
and I ought to bo ashamed of myself,” 
Ass.— Punch, represents Nicholas as an ass 
who has allowed himself to be shut up in a 
pound, and all the Europeau nations, conspic¬ 
uous among whom is John Bull, stand looking 
over the fence at him, but no one dares to get 
in to put the bridle on. Turkey has let down 
one bar, and reaching his hand through has 
got hold of his tail, and implores France and 
England to go in and take him by the head, 
but they manifest a most decided disinclination 
to take hold of the biting end. A better illus¬ 
tration of the “ war which was going to shake 
the whole continent of Europe,” could not be 
imagined. 
Cruel. — Several arrests for drunkenness 
under the new liquor law were made in New- 
Haven yesterday, and a number of liquor seiz- 
ers took place. The Palladium says that “when 
some forty bottles of porter were being taken 
from the premises of Goodwin, corner of Mo¬ 
rocco street and Congress avenue, he very in¬ 
nocently remarked that they were stored for the 
use of a sick child just weaned, and that it was 
cruel to remove it under the circumstances!”— 
Boston Journal. 
-« - 
Saying one’s Letters. —A gentleman travel¬ 
ing inside a coach, was endeavoring with con¬ 
siderable earnestness, to impress some argument 
upon a fellow-passenger who was seated in the 
same vehicle, and who appeared rather dull of 
apprehension ; at length, being slightly irritated, 
he exclaimed—“ Why, sir, it's as plain as A B 
Qi” u q'hat may be,” quietly replied the other, 
“but I am D E F.” 
The time was when ladies who went a visiting 
took their work with them. This is the reason 
why we have such excellent mothers. How sin¬ 
gular would a gay womau look in fashionable 
circles, darning her father’s stockings, or card¬ 
ing woo! ? Would not her companions laugh at 
her ? And yet such a woman would be a prize 
for somebody. Blessed is the man who chooses 
his wife from among the poor despised girls 
“ who work for a living.” 
Sublime and Beautiful. —Chateneuf, keeper 
of the Seals to Louis XIII., when a boy of only 
nine years of age, was asked many questions by 
a bishop, and gave very prompt answers to them 
all. At length the bishop said, “ I will give you 
an orange if you tell me where God is.” “ My 
lord,” replied the child, “ I will give you two if 
you tell me where He is not." 
Doubtful Compliment. —A compliment is re¬ 
corded as having been paid by a rustic, who 
had never before tasted ice-cream, to a lady who 
at an evening party had helped him to a plate of 
“ unsuccessful frigid mild,” under its usual sim¬ 
ple designation of “cream.” 
“Your cream is very sweet,” said he “but 
ain’t it a leetle iclched with frost ?” 
It was a compliment “ over the left,” but it 
“ made considerable laugh at the time.” 
Getting into Business. —A man who had set 
up business with a wheel-barrow, was met in 
the street by one who said— 
“ Is that you Tom ? I thought you were gone 
out of town.” 
“ That’s true,” was the answer, “you see that 
I have gone to Wheeling." 
Octogenarian Dentition. —A curious and 
rare occurence has just taken place at St. Mon- 
ance. A woman whose age is eighty-four, had 
been complaining of a pain in her jaw for some 
time, which she ascribed to tooth-ache, but, al¬ 
though strange, it is nevertheless true, the old 
woman was teething. She acquired two new 
grinders, one on the upper and one on the lower 
jaw, and is now well. 
STATE AGRICULTURAL SHOWS IN 1854, 
Name. 
Where held. 
Date. 
Illinois, 
Springfield, 
Sept. 12-15 
Kentucky, 
Lexington, 
' “ 12-16 
Lower Canada, 
Quebec, 
“ 12-16 
Vermont, 
Brattleborough, 
“ 13-15 
Del. Hort. Soc., 
Wilmington, 
“ 13-15 
Ohio, 
Newark, 
“ 16-22 
Michigan, 
Detroit, 
“ 26-29 
Pennsylvania, 
Philadelphia, 
“ 27-29 
Missouri, 
Boonvillc, 
Oct. 2-6 
New-York, 
New-York, 
“ 3-6 
New-IIampshire, 
“ 3-6 
Maryland, 
Baltimore, 
“ 8-6 
Indiana, 
Madison, 
“ 4-7 
Wisconsin, 
Watertown, 
“ 4=7 
Connecticut, 
New-Haven, 
“ 10-13 
North Caronina, Raleigh, 
“ 17=20 
Tennessee,(East,) Knoxville, 
“ 18-19 
Georgia, 
Augusta, 
“ 28=26 
Iowa, 
Fairfield, 
“ 25 
National Cattle 
Show, 
Springfield, Ohio, 
“ 25-27 
General Horticultural Exhibitions. 
American Pomol., Boston, Sept. 13 &e. 
Massachusetts, “ “ 13-20 
Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, “ 20-22 
Cincinnati, Cincinnati, “ 26-29 
North-Western Pomol., Burlington, La. “ 26 
Kentucky, Louisville, “ 19-2.0 
New-Yokk County Snows. 
Oneida, 
Rome, 
Sent. 
19-21 
Rensselaer, 
Lansingburgh, 
tt 
19-21 
Delaware, 
Delhi, 
U 
20-21 
Franklin, 
Malone, 
Syracuse, 
*6 
20-21 
Onondaga, 
a 
20-22 
Jefferson, 
Watertown, 
it 
21-22 
Washington, 
No. White Creek, 
it 
21=22 
Dutchess, 
Washington Hollow, “ 
24-27 
Albany, 
Albany, 
u 
26-28 
Putnam, 
Carmel, 
u 
26=27 
Orleans, 
Albion, 
it 
27-28 
Columbia, 
Chatham-Four-Oorners, 
Ohio County Shows. 
29-30 
Guernsey, 
Cambridge, 
Sept, 
6-8 
Pickaway, 
Circleville, 
It 
6=8 
Warren, 
Clinton, 
Lebanon, 
t. 
8-9 
Wilmington, 
a 
12-18 
Darke, 
Greenville, 
u 
13-14 
Delaware, 
Delaware, 
tt 
13-14 
Medina, 
Medina, 
u 
13-14 
Franklin, 
Columbus, 
it 
13-15 
Ashtabula, 
Jefferson, 
it 
26-28 
Lucas, 
Sandusky, 
Toledo, 
u 
26-27 
Clyde, 
(( 
26-27 
Hardin, 
Kenton, 
(< 
27-28 
Lorain, 
Richland, 
Elyria, 
It 
27-28 
Mansfield, 
a 
27-28 
Miami, 
Troy, 
u 
27-29 
Geauga, (Free,) Claridon, 
it 
27-29 
Meigs, 
Chester, 
it 
28-29 
Mahoning, 
Canfield, 
U 
28-29 
Summit, 
Akron, 
it 
28-29 
Belmont, 
St. Clairsville, 
Oct. 
3-5 
Logan, 
Bellefontain, 
u 
3-5 
Clarke, 
Springfield, 
it 
3-5 
Clermont, 
Bantam, 
it 
3-6 
Columbiana, 
New-Lisbon, 
u 
3-5 
Morgan, 
McConnellsville, 
u 
3-4 
Ross, 
Chilicoth, 
u 
3—5 
Stark, 
Canton, 
u 
3-5 
Seneca, 
Tiffin, 
it 
4-6 
Hamilton, 
Carthage, 
(C 
4-6 
Wood, 
Ashland, 
Portageville, 
a 
4-5 
Ashland, 
u 
4-6 
Geaugo, 
Burton, 
it 
4=6 
Onion, 
Butler, 
Marysville, 
it 
5=6 
Hamilton, 
it 
5-6 
Wayne, 
Wooster, 
it 
5-6 
Henry, 
Napoleon, 
tt 
5-6 
Holmes, 
Millersburgh, 
it 
5-6 
Gallia, 
Gallipolis, 
it 
5-6 
Harrison, 
Cadiz, 
it 
5-6 
Trumbull, 
Warren, 
a 
5-6 
Jefferson, 
Steubenville, 
u 
5-7 
Licking, 
Newark, 
u 
11-12 
