216 
AMERICAN AGRICULTURIST. 
July, 1858 
Sssttiu / out a Table—Hints on Deportment 
while at the Table, &c- 
[A “ foung Housekeeper ” in the West writes 
us to ti j following effect: “ My parents moved 
from N iw-England to Indiana before I was born, 
and tin y settled in a heavily wooded locality, 
where it took twenty years of hard labor to get 
the stui jps out, the farm paid for, and a good 
house ft .ted up to live in. My Mother died before 
we girl * had scarcely learned to ‘ keep house,’ 
but we did the best we could, and kept our home 
with ovr father and brothers. You will of course 
conceive that we had little opportunity to learn how 
other people managed; and many and long were the 
chats we sisters had, about how to set out our 
table neatly, and how to wait upon it correctly, 
when we expected company. Well, I have now 
married and come further West, and being in good 
circumstances 1 often have company whom I 
would like to entertain in good style. Now I 
have for years looked to the Agriculturist as a 
guide, not only in the paternal garden, but in the 
paternal mansion (log house), and remembering 
that several years since your contributor Anna 
Hope, gave us some good advice, on setting out 
a table, it occurred to me to suggest that you 
would do a special favor, not to me only, but to 
many country housekeepers, and country girls too, 
if you would ask Anna H., to give us from time 
to time further minute directions, not only upon 
setting a table, but also on matters pertaining to 
household etiquette. Excuse the suggestion, but 
please respond to it if you find it consistent to do 
so....” 
We have often thought of this subject and are 
thankful to “ Young Housekeeper,” for calling our 
attention to it. We forwarded her letter to Anna 
Hope, and are happy to give the following re¬ 
sponse, with the above sketch acompanying it, 
which we have had engraved for the Agricultur¬ 
ist. —Ed] 
It always gives me pleasure to learn that what 
I have written has been of use, and has met the 
wants of any individual. I do not consider it a 
small matter to have been a friend to a mother¬ 
less daughter, and to have aided her in her ef¬ 
forts for improvement. These incidental rewards, 
which come to us from time to time, are among 
the sweetest, and most precious we receive , and 
it is impossible not to look upon those persons 
who thus welcome us, as personal friends. I am 
particularly interested in farmers’ families. My 
grandfather was a farmer on the very outskirts of 
civilization, so far toward the cold North, that the 
smoke of no white man’s chimney curled up to 
heaven between him and Canada. My father, 
although, by profession a lawyer, was a farmer 
also, and did more for agricultural improvement 
than almost any other man in his native state. I 
have inherited his love for mother earth, and 
his respect for those who till the soil, and it 
affords me true pleasure to comply with the re¬ 
quest of “A Young Housekeeper” presented 
through our friend, the editor of the Agriculturist. 
It is impossible not to form an opinion of the 
cultivation of a family from the appearance of the 
table. If there is nothing but mush-and-milk 
upon it, good taste will impart a grace which is as 
obvious, as in the getting up of an elaborate din¬ 
ner. Simplicity and vulgarity are as far re¬ 
moved from each other as possible. In families 
of ordinary means simplicity is always desirable ; 
and I shall have nothing to say to those who keep 
a retinue of servants, and sit down to dine with 
only flowers on the table—the courses of meat, 
&c., being on the side-board or side-table. Nor 
shall I have a word now to say for those who have 
more than one course of meat, followed by a des¬ 
sert. 
THE TABLE. 
I have sketched a table on which I have ar¬ 
ranged a simple dinner, in a style suitable for a fam¬ 
ily keeping one or two domestics, or none. I 
have placed the soup on the table with the meat, 
although if there be any one whose business it is 
to wait upon table, it is better to have the soup 
served alone, the meat and vegetables being 
brought on when that is removed. The lady of 
the house distributes the soup. It is not consid¬ 
ered proper, as a general thing, to be helped a 
second time to soup. The soup plates should be 
placed before each person, and not in a pile by 
the tureen. As each one finishes his soup, his 
plate may be removed by the waiter, and a plate 
for the meat set before him. If there is no wait¬ 
er it is better for each one to retain his plate till 
all have laid down their spoons, and then one of 
the family can quietly put them aside. 
There should always be regularity in the laying 
of a table. The dishes should not look as if they 
had fallen down like hail-stones, wherever it may 
happen. I have provided for four kinds of veget¬ 
ables—if there are only two, they might be placed 
in the middle of the table, opposite the casters.* If 
bread and water are put upon the table they must 
be put in some unobtrusive place, and not inter¬ 
fere with the general arrangement. 
If there are no domestics in a family, a small 
table, within reach of the lady’s hand, may serve as 
a “ dumb-waiter,” and receive the plates that are 
to be changed. A “waiter” with two shelves, 
and a raised edge about them, as in a butler’s 
tray—or in a trunk-tray—is sometimes desirable, 
and on this the dessert can be placed. There 
should be as little leaving the table as possible 
during meals. If the family wait upon themselves, 
some one person should do it, and not have a gen¬ 
eral jumping for a missing article. I have sat 
at tables where two or three, or even more, would 
be absent at the same time—one, perhaps, for 
bread, another for water, and others for some¬ 
thing else. The daughters of a family can take 
turns in doing this. The lady at the head of the 
table should never leave her seat, till by rising, 
she intimates that the repast is finished. No 
member of the family should leave the table be¬ 
fore all are ready to leave, without asking to be 
excused by the lady of the house, and it is far bet¬ 
ter, unless some urgent reason prevents, for all 
to remain till the close of the meal. 
It is not now customary for those first served 
to wait till all are helped, thus insuring to them¬ 
selves a cold dinner, but each one assumes his 
knife and fork as his plate is furnished. 
The carver should serve meat as he cuts it, 
and not dissect a whole fowl at once, or fill his 
dish with fragments heaped up and lying about 
like a slaughtered army. Do not help too abund¬ 
antly to either meat or vegetables. It is easy to 
pass a plate a second time. The present style is 
to pass the vegetables and let each one help him¬ 
self. In cold weather the plates should always 
be warmed. It is unpleasant to see gravy stiffen¬ 
ing on the plate. 
The seat of honor for a guest is : fora lady, at 
the right hand of the gentleman ; and for a gen¬ 
tleman, a seat at the right hand of the lady who 
presides at table. The lady of the house leads 
the way from the parlor to the dining-room—the 
gentleman follows the others. Where there is 
company to dine, and much form is to be observed, 
the most distinguished guest of the gentlemen is 
invited by the host to escort the lady, and the 
gentleman of the house takes upon his arm the 
most distinguished lady-visitor. 
Habits of eating are important, and no little 
straw shows more plainly which way the wind 
blows, than these show one’s acquaintance, or 
want of acquaintance, with society. When I 
was a child, I ate with my knife, and the great 
lesson was to teach me to put it to my mouth 
with the sharp edge from the lips. But now, in 
polite society, it is considered as great an offense 
against propriety to use the knife for any other 
purpose than to cut the food, as it then was to 
put it in the mouth in such a way as to be in 
danger of mingling my blood with my dinner. 
“ Don’t put your knife in your mouth so —you 
will cut yourself,” was then the reproof that fell 
upon the child’s ears. Now he hears, or should 
bear : “ Don’t put your knife in your mouth—use 
your fork.” I advise every child, amj every young 
person to be very particular in regard to thismat- 
* The engraver has spelled this word castor. We follow 
Mr. Webster in printing it casters. As far as we have ob¬ 
served, custom varies. Some say cruet stand, calling each 
bottle a cruet. Others adapt the word caster for each bot¬ 
tle used to cast pepper. &c., upon food, and call tno 
whole, stand and bottles, casters. This is according to 
Webster, though he also gives the word cruet with the 
same definitions as caster. We must leave the ladies to 
settle this question. It may as well t oJed first as last. 
