m 
AMERICAN AGRICULTURIST. 
His eyes were fixed on the ground, his ears 
hung down, his whole appearance denoted 
humility and dejection. We felt quite corn- 
compassionate towards him, and begged his 
master to untie the stone directly; as soon 
as ever he felt his musical appendage at lib¬ 
erty, the creature raised, first his head, then 
his ears, then his tail, and at last began to 
bray with his wonted enthusiasm.— HuclCs 
Chinese Empire. 
“A little humor now and then, 
Is relished by the best of men.” 
Pat on the Horse. —A pedagogue relates 
a laughable story of one of his scholars, a 
son of the Emerald Isle. He told him to 
spell “ hostility.” , 
“ H-o-r-s-e, horse,” commenced Pat 
“ Not horse- tility,” said the teacher, “ but 
/nw-tility.” 
“ Sure,” replied Pat, “ an’ didn’t ye tell me 
the other day, not to say hossl Faix, an’ its 
wun thing wid ye one day, and another the 
nixt.” 
Very Popular. —“Was Brown a popular 
man when he lived in your town?” inquired 
a busy-body of his friend. 
“I should think he was,” replied the gen¬ 
tleman, “ as many persons endeavored to 
prevent his leaving — among others, the sher¬ 
iff, his deputy, and several constables, fol¬ 
lowed him some distance.” 
A Hint to Legislators. —“ Make way, 
gentlemen,” once cried a Massachusetts rep¬ 
resentative to the populace, who were crowd¬ 
ing him out of his place, “ make way, we are 
the representatives of the people.” “ Make 
way yourself,”-cried a sturdy man of the 
throng, “ we are the people themselves.” 
Boston vs. Providence. —An honest farm¬ 
er in the south part of Massachusetts, talk¬ 
ing about his crops, was told that he must 
trust in Providence. “ I do’no about that,” 
said he, “ I have been to Providence, and I 
have been to Bosting, and I believe I had 
much rather trust Bosting, taking all things 
into account.” 
Double Mistake. —An Irishman was ac¬ 
cused of stealing a handkerchief from a fel¬ 
low traveler; but the owner, on finding it, 
apologized to Pat and said it was mistake. 
“Arrah, my jewel,” retorted Pat, with great 
readiness, it was a two-sided mishtake—you 
took me for a thafe, and I took you for a 
gintleman, upon my sowl I did, sure.” 
To Let !—The Chicago Journal discours¬ 
es thus eloquently upon these little, but sig¬ 
nificant words : 
The anniversary of. these little words is 
now upon us, and we see them on the doors 
of hovels at three dollars a month, and post¬ 
ed on aristocratic portals at a thousand a 
year. 
To Let! There are more things to let 
than are placarded. Hearts are to let, every 
day ; old hearts, young hearts, stricken 
hearts—all empty. 
There are heads to let; to any new things, 
isms, ologies and ists ; heads that have not 
had a tenant to bless themselves with in a 
twelve-month. 
There are consciences to let; elastic, ac¬ 
commodating, caoutchoucic ; at five per cent 
a month, sixty per cent a year. To let on 
bond and mortgage, and a pound of flesh. 
To let for anything that will “ pay”—for any 
thing that will self 
And so it goes; from soda to souls — every 
thing to let; every thing in the market, but 
griefs. They are never quoted, never at a 
premium. 
New-LIampshire Boys. —We have often 
wondered how people contrived to make a 
living in a large city. An instance was re¬ 
lated to us, last week, which caused our 
wonder to cease. There is a man in New- 
York, who makes $1,200 a year by selling 
“popcorn.” He supports his family in a 
respectable style, and at the same time lays 
up something for a “ x - ainy day.”— Nashua 
Gazette. 
True, as we happen to know, having learn¬ 
ed from the lips of the man himself, that he 
cleared one hundred dollars a month. The 
mystery will l'eadily be explained when we 
announce that he is a New-Hampshire boy, 
possessing energy, frugality and judgment. 
When he gets rich, he will probably return 
to his native State, purchase a farm, and live 
in peace and happiness.— Granite Farmer. 
We, too, have a slight acquaintance with 
a man in this city, the proprietor of several 
houses and lots, who has accumulated the 
principal portion from the sale of pea-nuts. 
Beside supplying a large portion of the ped¬ 
dling boys and women of this metropolis 
with the ready-roasted article, he may be 
found at his “ stand ” from sun up till late 
at night. His income from the sale of pea¬ 
nuts alone is but little short of $2,500 per 
year, while the rent from his houses will add 
a similar sum—and yet he feels not above his 
business. __ 
A DROP OF INK. 
A drop of ink has just fallen upon my 
desk, spread upon my papers, and bids fair 
to roll over and find lodgement on the carpet. 
I put up my hand to stay it; my fingers are 
foul with its impression ; hastily removing 
them, in the act a sheet of unsullied paperis 
pushed towai’ds it, and ruined forever. Some 
valuable document is effaced; it has streamed 
over the page of a fairly written letter ; the 
gilding on this beautiful book is nearly 
spoiled; this delicate embroidery has but 
just touched it, and see how it spreads ! be¬ 
sides, it has made an ineffaceable stain upon, 
the polished mahogany, and discolored its 
soft lining. Now it is removed ; but, alas, 
what a wreck has it made ! everything near 
it is contaminated, purity sullied, and beauty 
defaced, no matter what it cost. What shall 
I liken it to, that one drop of ink? Is it like 
a soiling word from a corrupt heart ? It is 
spoken in haste ; the cheek of woman turns 
scarlet with resentment; the child speaks it 
innocently till it becomes familiar, till his 
heart knows sin, and learns how to apply 
that guilty word. The youth repeats it to 
imitate the man, and the servent because his 
master did. The sister tolerates it in others, 
she is accustomed to hear it from the lips of 
her brother; the Christian is distressed, love 
is weakened, crime is strengthened; it is the 
drop of ink that blackens whatever it touches. 
—Writer Unknown. 
ONE HAPPY MAN. 
The happiest man I have ever known is 
gone far enough from being rich in money, 
and who will never be very much nearer to 
it. His calling fits him, and he likes it, re¬ 
joices in its progress as much as in its re¬ 
sults. He has an active mind, well filled. 
He reads and he thinks. He tends his gar¬ 
den before sunrise every morning—then 
rides sundry miles by the rail—does ten 
hours work in town—whence he returns, 
happy and cheerful. Witji his own smile he 
catches the earliest of the morning, plucks 
the first rose of his garden, and goes to his 
work with the little flower in his hand and a 
great one blooming out of his heart. He 
runs over with charity, as a cloud with rain ; 
and it is with him as with the cloud—what 
coming from the cloud is rain to the mead¬ 
ows, is a rainbow of glories to the cloud 
that pours it out. The happiness of the af¬ 
fections fill the good man, and he runs over 
with friendship and love—connubial, parental, 
filial, friendly, too, and philanthropic besides. 
His life is a pei-petual “ trap to catch a sun¬ 
beam,” and it always “ springs ” and takes it 
in. I know no man who gets more out of 
life ; and the secret of it is that he does his 
duty to himself, to his brother, and to his, 
God. I know rich men, and learned men— 
men of great social position ; and if there is 
genius in America, I know tliat—but a hap¬ 
pier man I have never known.— Sermon of 
Theodore Parker. 
AN INTERESTING POSITION, 
A perfectly authenticated story is told of 
an officer residing in British Guinea, who 
amused himself in fishing and hunting in a 
neighboring river. One sultry day, tiled 
with unsuccessful sport,he threw out his lines, 
and drew his canoe to the river’s edge, for 
the purpose of refreshing himself in the 
water. Having done so, he stretched him¬ 
self, half-dressed, on the benches of his 
canoe, with his gun at lus head loaded with 
shot, and in this position he fell asleep. 
Presently he was roused from his slumber 
by a curious sensation, as if some animal 
were licking his foot. In a state of half 
stupor, natural to waking from a sound sleep, 
he cast his eyes downward, and, to his hor- 
ror, perceived the neck and head of a mon¬ 
strous serpent, covering his foot with saliva 
preparatory to commencing the process of 
swallowing him whole. The officer had 
faced death in many forms—on the ocean 
and in the battle-field—bnt never had he con¬ 
ceived of it in such terrible guise. For a 
moment, and but a moment, the officer was 
fascinated, and then withdrawing his foot, 
he instinctively seized the gun laying beside 
him. 
The reptile, apparently disturbed, for it had 
evidently mistaken the officer for a dead car¬ 
cass, drew its head below the canoe. Il 
rose again, moving backward and forward, 
as if in search of the object it had lost. The 
officer, with the muzzle of his gun within a 
yard or two of the serpent, fired, lodging the 
contents in his head. Thetemble boa, with 
a hiss, raised its heretofore unseen body in 
the air, and seemed determined to throw it¬ 
self upon the officer and embrace him in its 
powerful coils. A fortunate stroke of the 
paddle sent the canoe into the stream and to 
a place of safety. Having procured assist¬ 
ance, the officer returned to the place of at¬ 
tack, and, having killed the reptile, found it 
upward of forty^feet in length and of pro¬ 
portionate thickness. 
Earth and Heaven. —“ You have two chil¬ 
dren,” said I. 
“ I have four,” was the reply. “ Two on 
earth, two in heaven.” 
There- spoke the mother ! Still her’s ! only 
“ gone before !” Still l-emembered, loved and 
cherished, by the hearth and at the board ; 
their places not yet filled ; even though their 
successors draw life from the same faithful 
breast where their dying heads were pil¬ 
lowed, 
“ Two in heaven !” 
Safely housed from storm and tempest ; 
no sickness there; nor drooping head, nor 
fading eye, nor weary feet. By the green 
