52 
AMERICAN AGRICULTURIST 
have uniformly grown poor, and have had 
“ hard scratching ” to get along. 
“ So never trust to memory—settle often, 
and keep a good stock of small change with 
which to do it.” 
“ Is that all,” said I, “ four cents ?” 
“ It is enough,” said the shilling. 
New-York. W. 
Country Gentlemen. 
WANTED-AN ANGEL OF HEAVEN. 
And so death closed those little eyes— 
shrouded their bright glances. Oh, that the 
sun would not come streaming in upon his 
shrouded form as if there were no grief in 
the world! 
How sweetly he sleeps, that little coveted 
angel ! How lightly curl those glossy ring¬ 
lets on his white forehead. You could weep 
your very soul away, to think those cherub 
lips will never, never unclose. Vainly you 
clasp and unclasp the passive, darling hand, 
that wandered often over your cheek. Vain¬ 
ly your anguish glance tries to read the dim 
story of love in those shaded orbs. The 
voice sweet as winds blowing through 
wreathed shells slumbers forever. And 
still the busy world knocks at your door, 
and will let you have no peace. It shouts in 
your ear; its chariots rumble by; it smiles 
in your careworn face ; it mocks you as 
you sew the shroud ; it meets you at the 
church, at the grave ; and tits heavy foot¬ 
steps tramp up and down in the empty rooms, 
from whence you have" borne your dead. 
But it comes never in the hush of night to 
wipe away your tears! 
Wanted—an Angel of Heaven! Can you 
look up ? Can you bear the splendor of the 
sight? Ten thousand celestial beings, and 
your own radiant child in their midst. 
“ In his eyes a glorious light, 
On his head a glory crown.” 
Wanted—angels for Heaven! Cling not 
too closely to your beautiful treasures, chil¬ 
dren of earth.— Fanny Fern, in Olive Branch. 
Swearing. —The absurdity and utter folly 
of swearing is admirably set forth in the fol¬ 
lowing anecdote of Beelzebub and his imps : 
The latter went out in the morning each to 
command his set of men, one the murderers, 
another the liars, and another the swearers, 
&c. At evening they stopped at the mouth 
of a cave. The question arose among them 
who commanded the meanest set of men. 
The subject was debated at length, but with¬ 
out coming to a decision. Finally his Satan¬ 
ic Majesty was called upon to decide the 
matter in dispute. Whereupon he said ; the 
murderer got something for killing, the thief 
for stealing, and the liar for lying; but the 
swearer was the meanest of all, he served 
without pay. They were his majesty’s best 
subjects ; for while they were costless, their 
name was legion, and presented the largest 
division in his (Satan’s) employ. 
Maternal Discreetness. —Traveling a few 
days since from Niagara Falls to Rochester 
by rail, the train being stopped at a station, 
I noticed a very dignified but anxious looking 
countenance entering the car; the possess¬ 
or, a woman, after making a choice selec¬ 
tion of a seat, appeared perfectly composed 
and comfortably situated for the journey. 
Thought nothing more of the circumstance 
until my attention was attracted by a sudden, 
quick movement on the part of the same fe¬ 
male toward the door, screaming to the con¬ 
ductor, “ Oh! dear, can't you wait two or 
three minutes, ’till I run up to the hotel and 
get my baby? I forgot all about it!" — Bos¬ 
ton Post. 
The more a man is envied, the less he is 
spared. 
Wooden Nutmegs Outdone. —There is a 
Parisian dandy, who, we think rather out¬ 
does Connecticut : 
“ C-had at his residence a complete 
costume of a groom. When offering an at¬ 
tention to one of the fair sex, he used to say, 
“ Permit me to send you a bouquet by my 
black servant.” 
“ He then repaired to his garret, took out 
his black bottle, polished his face and hands, 
put on his livery, and knocked at the lady’s 
door. 
“ Here,” he said, “ are some flowers by 
master to madame.” 
“ He had spent the last five francs in the 
purchase. Madame,” was so delighted with 
the present that she presented a louis to the 
bearer.” 
That is a clear pocketing of three dollars, 
and a lady’s favor into the bargain. 
Small Loaves. —The high price of flour, of 
late, has caused the bakers to diminish the 
size of their loaves considerably, but those in 
New-Brunswick, N. J., seem to have reached 
perfection in the article referred to, as the 
following extract from an exchange will 
show : “ A baker of that place in going his 
rounds to serve his customers, stopped at the 
door of one and knocked, when the lady 
within exclaimed, “ Who is there ?” and was 
answered, “the baker!” “What do you 
want?” “To leave your bread!” “Well, 
you need not make such a fuss about it; put 
it through the keyhole !” 
Washington. —M. de Tocqueville, reply¬ 
ing a few weeks ago to an invitation to at¬ 
tend a banquet given by Americans in Paris 
to the memory of Washington, wrote : “There 
is no grander name in history ; and if it was 
permitted me to choose a place among men 
who have left eternal memorials, I would 
choose, without hesitation, the place of 
Washington, and I believe that all who can 
appreciate moral beauty and are capable of 
being enamored of it, would compete for his 
place. May it please God to preserve both 
the spirit and the works of that great man !” 
Credit is one of the best things man has 
devised, and about the worst abused. Thou¬ 
sands live on credit who have no right to any 
such thing. None but an honest man ought 
to be able to pass his word instead of coin— 
a rogue’s word is not worth its face, no mat¬ 
ter how rich he may be. No one should 
have facility to run in debt for the means of 
ostentatious display, of sensual gratification 
or of hazerdous adventure. “ Earn before 
you spend,” should be the general rule, the 
credit should be extended mainly to those 
who use it to fit themselves with the means 
and implements of useful, productive labor. 
H. Greely. 
Two Y'ankees took lodgings for about ten 
days at a tavern in Lancaster County, and 
fared sumptuously, drinking two or three bot¬ 
tles of wine daily. The last day, and before 
they had paid their bill, a dispute arose about 
the speed oftheir horses—they at last agreed 
to enter on the “ profitable contest.” The 
landlord was appointed judge, each being the 
rider of his own horse. When they were 
mounted, the judge, like those of the Olmy- 
pic games, gave the word—one, two, three, 
and go. Off they went, and have”neither 
been seen or heard of since ; leaving the 
landlord fully compensated by having had 
the honor to be theirjudge. 
A little girl of four years had been brought 
up very properly with regard to correct 
speech, when one day looking at her doll’s 
feet, she said, “ Papa, I know that feets is 
proper, but I do love to say little tooties.” 
A Dead Shot. —A physician who resides 
in the southern portion of this City, upon 
visiting a patient at the extreme north, was 
asked by the sick man, “ if he did not find it 
very inconvenient to come such a distance.” 
“ Not at all, Sir,” replied the son of Escu- 
lapias, “ for having another patient in the 
next street ” I can kill two birds with one 
stone.” 
“ Can you, Sir!” replied the invalid, “ then 
you are too good a shot for me and imme¬ 
diately dismissed him. 
A celebrated comedian arranged with the 
green grocer, one Berry, to pay him quarter¬ 
ly; but the grocer sent home his account 
long before the quarter was due. The com¬ 
edian in great wrath called upon the gro¬ 
cer, laboring under the impression that his 
credit was doubted, said : “ I say here’s a 
pretty mul, Berry ; you’ve sent in your bill, 
Berry, before it was due, Berry ; your father 
the elder Berry, wouldn’t have been such a 
goose, Berry. But you need not look so 
black, Berry, for I don’t care a straw, Berry, 
and shan’t pay you till Christmas, Berry. 
One of the townsmen meeting with one of 
the strolling organ players, was inclined to 
engage in conversation with him, and asked 
him : 
“ What part in the grand drama of life do 
you perform ?” 
“ I mind my own business!” was the brief 
and pointed reply. 
A Home Thrust. —A preacher took pas¬ 
sage on one of the Lake Erie steamers on a 
Sunday lately, and before he had been long 
on board, he applied to the captain for leave 
to hold a religious meeting. The captain 
replied, “ No—for any minister who would 
travel on Sunday is not fit to preach on board 
my boat.” 
A lady observing one day, that “ Garrick 
had an eye fit to penetrate a deal board,” a 
German musician remarked, “ 0 yes, me 
understand—what we call agimblet eye.” 
Dr Johnson, once speaking of a quarrel¬ 
some fellow, said, “ If he had two ideas in 
his head they would fall out with one 
another.” 
Money is well spent in purchasing tran¬ 
quility of mind. 
Uttftds. 
Remarks. —Flour still continues on the 
decline ; nearly all grades having fallen 50c. 
to 75c. perbbl. during the past w r eek. Flour 
of common State brands which one month 
ago sold for $10 50 per bbl., is now quoted 
at $8 25—a fall of more than two dollars per 
bbl. There is a rumor of large orders from 
France for this quality of flour, when it falls 
to $8. If there are such orders of consider¬ 
able amount, they will assist to keep up the 
price to that figure, for a time at least. The 
Wheat crop is already harvested south of 
Kentucky, and in a part of that State ; and a 
very large yield is now secured. The Nash¬ 
ville (Tenn.) Union, of 20th June, says, that 
all accounts from all parts of that State con¬ 
cur in representing the Wheat crop of Ten- 
nesee as far the largest ever harvested. 
From both sides of the Ohio River, our lat¬ 
est reports which are nearly up to commenc¬ 
ing harvest, represent the prospect as good 
beyond precedent. Some of these accounts 
