AMERICAN AGRICULTURIST. 
my father. 
Wc arc much mistaken, says the Home 
ANECDOTES OF LORD NORTH. 
This good-humored minister was always 
ready with a joke, and always appreciated 
one, even though it was at his own expense. 
One night he rose to deprecate the too great 
readiness to give and take offense which pre¬ 
vailed in the House. 
“ One member, for example,” said he, 
“ called me ‘ that thing called a minister.’ 
Now, to be sure, (patting his portly sides) I 
am a thing ; when, therefore, the gentleman 
called me a ‘thing’ he said what was true, 
and I could not be angry with him. But 
when he added, ‘ that thing called a minister,’ 
he called me the thing which of all others he 
himself most wishes to be ; and, therefore, I 
took it for a compliment.” 
A prosing old sailor, well known for his 
lengthy orations, began to speak on an admi¬ 
ralty question. Lord North said to one of 
his supporters, “ Now - will give us a 
history of all the naval battles, from that of 
Salamis to that of last year. I shall take a 
nap; wake me when he gets near our own 
time.” 
After an hour’s infliction, the friend nudged 
Lord North. “ My lord, my lord, wake up 
—he has got to the battle of Van Tromp.” 
“ Oh, dear,” said the sleepy minister, “you 
have waked me a hundred years too soon 
On his last night in office, his antagonists 
had collected for a grand battle. Lord North 
rose in his place and declared the Adminis¬ 
tration at an end. Of course, the House ad¬ 
journed immediately. It was an awful wet 
night, and in those days cabs were not; the 
members, expecting a long debate, had or¬ 
dered their carriage at 1 or 2 o’clock in the 
morning ; and Lord North, as he passed out 
through the baffled and imprisoned crowd of 
his opponents to his own chariot, bowed to 
the right and left, saying, with a smile, 
“ Adieu, gentlemen; you see it is an ex¬ 
cellent thing to be in the secret.” 
The following toast, given at Plymouth, 
is excellent: 
“ The American Fair —Too wise to take the 
vail, and too beautiful to need it.” 
“ Pat, you fool, why do you steal after 
that rabbit in that manner, when your gun 
has no lock on I” 
“ Hush ! ye spalpeen—be jabers, now, the 
rabbit don’t know that!” 
“ Well Alick, how’s your brother Ike get¬ 
ting along V’ 
“ O, first rate—he’s got a good start in the 
world—married a widow who has seven 
children.” 
The following notice was affixed to a shop 
in Leeds: “ This Ouse 2 Lett. Hinquir 
Necks Doar.” 
The Journal of the Academy of Medicine 
at Turin states, among other things, that tall 
men live longer than those of small stature. 
Of course they do, and lie longer in bed. 
It requires 2,280 full grown trees, or the 
mature crop of forty-four acres of wood¬ 
land, to furnish timber for a single 74 gun- 
ship. _ 
Hartley Coleridge once being asked which 
of Wordsworth’s productions he considered 
the prettiest, very promptly replied, “ His 
daughter Dora.” 
To correct an evil which already exists is 
not so well as to foresee and prevent it. 
Journal, if the following touching stanzas, 
sent to us by a southern correspondent, do 
not “ come home ” to the feelings of many 
of our readers—for wide is the experience 
of suffering similar to that the memory of 
which inspired these lines. The author, a 
lady of refined education, intellect, and de¬ 
servedly high social position, had the mis¬ 
fortune, Ave are told, to wed a man tolly un¬ 
worthy of her, Avho took her to the far west, 
and there infamously endeavored to destroy 
her. Her father, though well stricken in 
years, journeyed thither and brought her 
home again ; and to celebrate the parental 
devotion which inspired that act the stanzas 
were written : 
la childhood's years, who loved mo best ! 
AVho blamed me least, and most caressed ■ 
My father. 
When I was young, and full of glee, 
AVho rode me on his tired knee ? 
My father. 
Who did for all my wants provide. 
And was my best and kindest guide ? 
My father. 
When kneeling at the throne of prayer, 
Who plead for me most earnest there 1 
My father. 
Who taught me, by his words and ways, 
To trust in God through darkest days ? 
My father. 
When far from friends, and racked with pain, 
Who brought his wanderer home again ! 
My father. 
And now, for years, oh! may it be 
My pleasant task to wait on thee, 
My father ' 
And when on earth our toil is o’er, 
May we, with angel songs adore 
“ Our Father !” 
Money a Medicine. —Prosperity is the best 
pill, it Avakes up the failing pulses of life, and 
renovates the Avhole machinery of man. 
Take two poor men Avho are equally ill, to 
Avhom exercise is alike applicable, condemn 
one to the unendurable drudgery of walking 
a mile thrice daily to a certain post, and 
when he gets there to turn round and Avalk 
back again ; and let another spend an equal 
time in collecting bills, or obtaining sub¬ 
scriptions at a percentage, which clears him 
ten dollars a day, if he is diligent; it is easy 
to conjecture which of the two will conva¬ 
lesce the more rapidly. One thing I am 
certain of, making money helps me amazing¬ 
ly ; it is the elixir of mind and body both. 
This idea of the hygienic value of money on 
men is strikingly illustrated in the report of 
M. Vellerme, as the Secretary of the Poor 
LaAV Commissioners in Havre, Avhere the 
average age of the rich is twelve years 
greater than that of the poor. 
1,088 prosperous persons died at an aver¬ 
age age of 42 years. 4,791 middling class 
died at an average age of 29 years. 19,849 
poor persons died at an average age of 20 
years. • 
Therefore, as it is easier to take money 
than to take pills, I advise my readers, one 
and all, as a means of long life, to get rich 
by prudent industry and honorable econo¬ 
my.— HalVs Journal. 
Duty. —We love to see a woman treading 
the high and holy path of duty, unblinded by 
sunshine or storm. There are hundreds 
who do so from the cradle to the grave— 
heroines of endurance of whom the world 
has never heard, but Avhose names will be 
bright hereafter, even beside the brightest 
angels. 
Time is a grateful friend ; use it well, and 
it never fails to make suitable requital. 
315 
Benefits of Adversity.—A smooth sea 
never made a skillful mariner, neither does 
interrupted prosperity and success qualify 
for usefulness and happiness. The storms 
of adversity, like the storms of the ocean, 
arouse the faculties, excite the invention, 
prudence, skill, and fortitude of the voyager. 
The martyrs of ancient times, in bracing 
their minds to outward calamity, acquired a 
loftiness of purpose, amoral heroism, Avorlli 
a life of softness and security.— Literary 
Journal. 
Happiness. —That all Avho are happy, arc 
equally happy, is not true. A peasant and 
a philosopher maybe equally satisfied, but. 
not equally happy; a peasant has not capa¬ 
city for having equal happiness Avith a phi¬ 
losopher. A small drinking glass and a 
large one may be equally full, but a large one 
holds more than a small one. 
Mind. —It is mind that gives beauty to the 
rose, and throAvs sublimity around the moun¬ 
tain or the comet. It is mind that envelopes 
the cascade with beauty, and the heavens 
with grandeur. In proportion to the mind’s 
breadth and depth, the store of information 
it possesses, and accumulated ideas of its 
experience, so are the intensity and lofti¬ 
ness of its enjoyment. 
CHIEF JUSTICE HALE. 
A GOOD STORY. 
One of the first stories avc were able to 
read in our boyhood was the folloAving, and 
it made so deep an impression that we have 
never since seen MattheAv Hale’s name in 
print or heard it spoken, Avithout picturing 
him in our mind, as he sat in the jury box in 
his miller’s coat, comparing bribe money with 
the man sitting by his side. The story will 
bear oft repeating. 
A gentleman Avho possessed an estate in 
the eastern part of England, Avortli five hun¬ 
dred pounds a year, had two sons. The old¬ 
est, being of a rambling disposition, Avent 
abroad. After several years, the father died. 
The younger son destroyed the Avill and 
seized on the estate. He gave out that his 
elder brother Avas dead, and bribed Avitnesses 
to attest it. In the course of time, the elder 
brother returned, in miserable circum¬ 
stances. The younger repulsed him Avith 
scorn, saying that he Avas an impostor and a 
cheat—that his real brother was dead long 
ago, and he could bring Avitnesses to prove it. 
The real brother, having neither money 
nor friends, was in a dismal situation. At 
last he found a lawyer who agreed, (as he 
had nothing to pay him,) that if he Avould 
give him one thousand guineas, if he under¬ 
took and gained the cause, he would act for 
him ; to Avhich he assented. The case was 
to be tried at the next General Assizes, at 
Chelmsford, Essex. The laAvyer being now 
engaged, he set his wits to Avork to obtain 
success. At last he thought he would con¬ 
sult the first judge of that age, Lord Chief 
Justice Hale ; accordingly he hastened to 
London, and laid open the cause and all its 
cirsumstances. The judge, Avho Avas a 
great lover of Justice, listened attentively, 
and promised all the assistance in his pow¬ 
er. The lawyer having taken leave, the 
judge contrived so as to finish all his busi¬ 
ness at the King’s Bench before the Chelms¬ 
ford Assizes began. He started for Chelms¬ 
ford, and when within a short distance of 
that place he dismissed his horse and sought 
for a private house ; he found one occupied 
by a miller. After some conversation, mak¬ 
ing himself very agreeable, he proposed to 
the miller to change clothes with him, and as 
the judge had a good suit on, the miller did 
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