380 
AMERICAN AGRICULTURIST 
OTp-§00i 
“A little humor now and then, 
Is relished by the best of men.” 
Three in a Bed. —Emigration to the State 
of Michigan was so great during the year 
1835-36, that every house was filled each 
night with travelers wanting lodging. Every 
traveler there at that time will remember the 
difficulty of obtaining a bed in any of the 
hotels, even if he was willing to put up with 
two or three strange bedfellows. 
The Rev. Hosea Brown, an eccentric 
Methodist minister, stopped at one of the 
hotels in Ann Arbor, and inquired if he could 
have a room and a bed to himself. The bar¬ 
keeper told him he could, unless they should 
be so full as to render it necessary to put 
another in with him. At an early hour the 
reverend gentleman went to his room,locked 
the door, and soon retired to his bed, and 
sunk into a comfortable sleep. Along to¬ 
wards midnight he was aroused from his 
slumbers by a loud knocking at his door. 
“ Hallo, you, there !” he exclaimed, “what 
do you want now ?"—particular stress on the 
last word. 
“ You must take another lodger with you, 
sir,” said the landlord. 
“ What! another yet 1” 
“ Why, yes—there is only one in there, is 
there ?” 
“ One! why here is Mr. Brown, and a 
Methodist preacher, and myself, already, and 
I should think that was enough for one bed, 
even in Michigan !” 
The landlord seemed to think so, too, and 
left them to their repose. 
Drawing an Inference. —A certain nota¬ 
ble housewife had observed that her stock 
of pickled walnuts was running remarkably 
low, and she spoke of it to the cook, who 
alone had access to them. The cooks char¬ 
acter was at stake ; and, unwilling to give 
warning, with an imputation on her self-de¬ 
nial, not to say honesty, she nevertheless felt 
that all confidence between her mistress and 
herself was destroyed. One day, the jar of 
pickles standing as usual on the dresser, 
while she was busily preparing dinner, she 
happened to turn suddenly round, and saw 
a favorite magpie, remarkable for his con¬ 
versational powers, standing by the jar dip¬ 
ping his beak down into its treasures, with 
evident satisfaction. The mystery was ex¬ 
plained—the thief detected. Seizing a dish 
of scalding grease, with which she was bast¬ 
ing a joint, the indignant cook dashed its 
whole contents over the hapless pet, ex¬ 
claiming : 
“ Oh, you thief! you've been at the pickled 
walnuts, have you!” 
Poor Mag,of course was dreadfully burnt; 
most of the feathers come off, leaving his 
little round pate, which had caught the prin¬ 
cipal part of the volley, entirely bare. The 
poor bird lost all its spirits, moped about, 
and never spoke, for a whole year. At 
length, when he had pretty well recovered, 
and was beginning to chatter again, a gentle¬ 
man called at the house, who, on taking off 
his hat, exhibited a very bald head. The 
magpie, who happened to be in the room, 
appeared evidently struck by the circum¬ 
stance ; his reminiscences were powerfully 
excited by the appearance of the gentleman’s 
skull. Hopping upon the back of his chair 
and looking him hastily over, he suddenly 
exclaimed, in the ear of his astonished vis¬ 
itor ; 
“ Oh, you thief! you've been at the pickled 
walnuts have you !”— Graham's Mag. 
Truth is a gem of worth. 
ONE BY ONE. 
One by one the sands are flowing, 
One by one the moments fall; 
Some are coming, some are going, 
Do not strive to grasp them all. 
One by one thy duties wait thee. 
Let thy whole strength go to each, 
Let no future dreams elate thee, 
Leant thou first what these can teach. 
One by one (bright gifts from Heaven) 
Joys are sent thee here below, 
Take them readily when given. 
Ready, too, to let them go. 
One by one thy griefs shall meet thee, 
Do not fear a thronging band; 
One will fade as others greet thee, • 
Shadows passing through the land. 
Do not look at life’s long sorrow ; 
See how small each moment’s pain, 
God will help thee for to-morrow, 
Every day begin again. 
Every hour that fleets so slowly, 
Has its task to do or bear; 
Luminous the crown and holy, 
If thou set each gem with care. 
Do not linger with regretting, 
Or for passion hours despond ; 
Nor, the daily toil forgetting, 
Look too eagerly beyond. 
Hours are golden links, God’s token, 
Reaching Heaven, but one by one 
Take them, lest the chain be broken 
Ere the pilgrimage be done. 
LIVING BY ONE’S WIT. 
Nine persons sailed from Basle down the 
Rhine. A Jew, who wished to go to Schal- 
ampi, was allowed to come on board and 
journey with them on condition that he would 
conduct himself with propriety, and give 
the captain eighteen kreutzers for his pas¬ 
sage. 
Now, it is true, something jingled in the 
Jew’s pocket when he struck his hands 
against it; but the only money there was 
therein was a twelve-kreutzer piece, for the 
other was a brass button. Notwithstanding 
this he accepted the offer with gratitude ; 
for he thought to himself, “ something may 
be earned, even upon the water. There is 
many a man who has grown rich upon 
the Rhine.” 
During the first part of the voyage, the 
passengers were very talkative and merry, 
and the Jew, with his wallet under his arm— 
for he did not lay it aside—was the object 
of much mirth and mockery, as alas ! is oft¬ 
en the case with those of his nation. But 
as the vessel sailed onward, and passed 
Thurrington and St. Veit, the passengers, 
one after the other, grew silent and gazed 
down the river, until one spoke out: 
“ Come, Jew, do you know any pastime 
that will amuse us I Your fathers must 
have contrived many a one during their long 
stay in the wilderness.” 
“ Now is the time,” thought the Jew, “ to 
shear my sheep!” And he proposed that 
they should sit round in a circle, and pro¬ 
pound very curious questions to each other, 
and he, with their permission, would sit 
down with them. Those who could not an¬ 
swer the questions, should pay the one who 
propounded them a twelve-kreutzer piece ; 
and those who answered them pertinently, 
should receive a twelve-kreutzer piece. 
The proposal pleased the company, and, 
hoping to divert themselves with Jew’s wit 
or stupidity, each one asked at random what¬ 
ever entered his head. 
Thus for example, the first one asked : 
“How many soft-boiled eggs could the 
giant Goliah eat upon an empty stomach V' 
All said that it was impossible to answer 
that question, and the others paid him twelve 
kreutzers. 
But the Jew said, “ One ; for he who has 
eaten one egg can not eat a second one on 
an empty stomach.” And the others paid 
him twelve kreutzers. 
The second thought,, wait Jew, and I will 
try you out of the New Testament, and I 
think I shall win my piece. 
“Why did the Apostle Paul write the sec¬ 
ond epistle to the Corinthians V' 
The Jew said : “Because he was not in 
Corinth, otherwise he would have spoken to 
them.” So he Avon another twelve kreutzer 
piece. 
When the third saw the Jew was so well 
versed in the Bible, he tried him in a differ¬ 
ent way. 
“ Who prolongs his work to as great a 
length as possible, and yet completes it in 
time V' 
“ The rope-maker, if he is industrious,” 
said the Jew. 
In the meanwhile they drew near to a 
village, and one said to the other, “That is 
Bamlach.” Then the fourth asked, “In 
what month do the people of Bamlach eat 
the least ?” 
The Jew said, “In February, for that has 
only twenty-eight days.” 
The fifth said, “There are two nutural 
brothers, and still only one of them is my 
uncle.” 
The Jew said, “ The uncle is your father's 
brother, and your father is not your uncle.” 
A fish nowjumped out of the water, and 
the sixth asked, “ What fish have their eyes 
nearest together ?” 
The JeAv said, “ The smallest.” 
The seventh asked, “ How can a man ride 
from Basle to Berne, in the shade, in the 
summer time, when the sun shines 1” 
The Jew said, “ When he comes to a 
place where there is no shade, he must dis¬ 
mount and go on foot.” 
The eight asked, “ When a man rides in 
the winter time from Berne to Basle, and 
has forgotten his gloves, how must he man¬ 
age so that his hands shall not freeze ?” 
The Jew said, “ He must make fists out of 
them.” 
The ninth was the last. This one asked, 
“ Flow can five persons divide five eggs so 
that each man shall recieve one, and still 
one remain in the dish I” 
The Jew said, “ The last must take the 
dish with the egg, and can let it lay there as 
long as he pleases.” 
But now it came to his turn, and he deter¬ 
mined to make a good sweep. After many 
preliminary compliments he asked, with an 
air of mischievous friendliness, “ How can 
a man fry two trouts in three pans, so that a 
trout may lay in each pan 1" 
No one could answer this, and one after 
the other gave him a twelve kreutzer piece. 
But when the ninth desired that he should 
answer it himself, he frankly acknowledged 
that he knew not how the trout could be 
fried in such a way. 
Then it was maintained that this’was un¬ 
fair in the Jew, but he strongly affirmed that 
there was no provision for it in the agree¬ 
ment, save that he who could not answer the 
questions should pay the kreutzers, and be 
fulfilled the agreement by paying that sum 
on the ninth of his comrades, who had asked 
him to solve it himself. But they all being 
rich merchants, and grateful for the amuse¬ 
ment which had passed an hour or two very 
pleasantly for them, laughed heartily over 
their loss and at the Jew’s cunning. 
Truthful Simplicity. —One of our physi¬ 
cians, making his morning calls, in passing 
the residence of one of his families, saw a 
piece of crape attached to the door-knob. 
Naturally interested in the circumstance, and 
