38 
AMERICAN AGRICULTURIST, 
were roasted whole, and devoured at a 
splendid banquet. In one day they afforded 
comfort to both the inward and the outward 
man.—Habits and Men. 
COLDS. 
“ How do you do?” “ Pretty well, thank 
you, only I have got a dreadful cold.” 
We have heard that question and answer 
so frequently of late, that we begin to sus¬ 
pect it is the pass word of some new order. 
Every body has a cold now-a-days ; for our¬ 
selves, we have one that would do credit to 
a native Mexican dropped suddenly into 
Greenland, and—a bit of sympathy does one 
get in his affection. If you have a tooth-ache 
or a head-ache, or the gout, or an ague, every 
man you meet is ready to give you forty 
remedies, every one of which he can de¬ 
clare from his personal knowledge to be in¬ 
fallible : but a cold! every body has them, 
and the only response you get is, “Ah, in¬ 
deed ; colds are very prevalent now-a-days.” 
The subject is one of such universal inter¬ 
est that the following passages from the Jour¬ 
nal of Health can not fail to prove interest¬ 
ing : 
HOW DO PEOPLE TAKE COLD. 
Not by tumbling into the river and drag¬ 
gling home wet as a drowned rat; not by 
being pitched into the mud, or spilled out in 
the snow in sleighing time ; not by walking 
for hours over the shoe top in mud ; not by 
soaking in the rain without an umbrella ; not 
by scrubbing the floor until the unnameable 
sticks to you like a wet rag ; not by hoeing 
potatoes until you are in a lather of sweat; 
not by trying to head a pig in mid-winter, and 
induce him to run the other way, for he won’t 
do any such thing ; not by essaying to teach 
■Biddy to make mince pies for Christmas, 
when you don’t know yourself, and then 
worrying yourself into a perspiration because 
the pies stuck to the pan, and came out in a 
muss, forgetting that pie-pans, like people, 
are rather the better for a little greasing, 
alias soft soap; those are not the things 
which give people colds ; and yet people are 
all the time telling us how they “caught 
their death by exposure.” 
The time for taking cold is after taking ex¬ 
ercise ; the place is in your own house, or 
office, or counting room. It is the getting 
cool too quick after exercising. For example 
you walk very fast, to get to the railroad 
station ; or to the ferry; or to catch an om¬ 
nibus ; or to make time for an appointment; 
your mind being ahead of you, the body 
makes an extra effort to keep up with it; and 
when you get to the desired spot, you raise 
your hat and find yourself in a perspiration; 
you take a seat, and feeling quite comfort¬ 
able as to temperature, you begin to talk 
with a friend ; or, if a New-Yorker, to read 
a newspaper; and before you are aware of 
it,you experience a sensation of chilliness, 
and the thing is done ! You look around to 
see where the cold comes, and find a win¬ 
dow open near you, or a door, or that you 
have taken a seat at the forward part of the 
car, and it moving againsttfie wind, a strong 
draft is made^through the crevices. 
^Young ladies take their [colds in [grandly 
dark parlors unused and unfired for a week ; 
warm enough were they, almost too warm in 
the gay, sun-shiny street without; and that 
parlor felt comfortably cool at first, but the 
last curl of the visited would not dangle sat¬ 
isfactorily, and while compelling it, (young 
ladies now-a-days make it a point of princi¬ 
ple not to be thwarted in anything, not even 
in wedding rich Tom to please the old folks, 
when they love poor Dick and intend to 
please themselves,) while conquering that 
beautiful but unruly curl, the visitor makes 
an unexpected meeting with a chill, which 
calls her to the—grave. 
I can not give further space to illustrations 
to arrest the attention of the careless, but 
will reiterate the principle for the thoughtful 
and observant; get cool slowly. 
A SUCCESSFUL EETORT. 
On one occasion, a clergyman, meeting a 
doctor of his acquaintance who was a pro¬ 
fessional Deist, was accosted by the doctor 
in the following manner : 
“ Do you follow preaching to save souls?” 
“ Yes.” 
“ Did you ever see a soul ?” 
“ No.” 
“ Did you ever hear a soul ?” 
“ No.” 
“ Did you ever taste a soul?” 
“ No.” 
“ Did you ever smell a soul ?” 
“No.” 
“ Did you ever feel a soul 1” 
“ Yes.” 
“ Well,” said the doctor, “ there are four 
of the five senses against one, upon the ques¬ 
tion whether there is a soul.” 
The clergyman then asked his adversary 
if he was a doctor of medicine ? 
“ Yes.” 
“ Did you ever see a pain ?” 
“ No.” 
“ Did you ever hear a pain ?” 
“ No.” 
“ Did you ever taste a pain ?” 
“ No.” 
“ Did you ever smell a pain ?” 
“ No.” 
“ Did you ever feel a pain ?” 
“ Yes.” 
“ Well, then,” said the clergyman, “ there 
are four senses against one upon the ques¬ 
tion whether there can be pain—and yet, sir, 
you know there is a pain, and I know there 
is a soul.” _ 
Popular Definitions. —What is fashion ?— 
Dinner at midnight, and headaches in the 
morning. 
What is wit ?—That peculiar kind of talk 
that leads to pulled noses and broken heads. 
What is idleness ?—Working yellow 
mountains on a pink subsoil, ora blue-tailed 
dog in sky-colored convulsions. 
What is joy ?—To count your money and 
find it overrun a hundred dollars. 
What is conscience ?—Something that a 
guilty man feels every time it thunders. 
What is contentment ?—To sit in the house 
and see other people stuck in the mud. In 
other words, to be better off than our neigh¬ 
bors. 
THE NOBLEMA N AND THE COW-BOY.. 
Some time since the Duke ofBuccleuch,in 
one of his walks, purchased a cow from a 
person in the neighborhood of Dalkeith, and 
left orders to send it to his place the follow¬ 
ing morning. According to agreement the 
cow was sent, and the Duke, who happened 
to be en dishabille and walking in the avenue, 
espied a little fellow ineffectually attempting 
to drive the animal to its destination. The 
boy, not knowing the Duke, bawled out to 
him, “ Hy, mun ! come here an’ gie’s a han’ 
wi’ this beast.” The Duke saw the mistake, 
and determined on having a joke with the 
little fellow. Pretending, therefore, not to 
understand him, the Duke walked on slowly, 
the boy still craving his assistance. At last 
he cried in a tone of distress, “ Come, here, 
mun, an’ help us, an’ as sure as onything I’ll 
give you half I'll get!” This last solicitation 
had the desired effect. The Duke went and 
lent a helping hand. “ And now,” said the 
Duke, as they trudged along, “ how much 
do you think you’ll get for this job ? ” “ Oh, 
I dinna ken,” said the boy; “ but I’m sure 
o’ something, for the folk up at the house are 
good to a’ body.” As they approached the 
house the Duke darted from the boy and 
entered by a different way. He called a 
servant and put a soverign into his hand, 
saying. “ Give that to the boy that has 
brought the cow. The Duke returned to the 
avenue, and was soon rejoined by the boy. 
“Well, how much did you get? ” said the 
Duke. “A shilling,” said the boy, “And 
there’s the half o’t t’ye.” “ But you surely 
got more than a shilling,” said the Duke. 
“ No,” said the boy, with the utmost earnest¬ 
ness, “ As sure as death that's a’ I got—and 
d’ye no think it’s plenty? ” “ I do not,” said 
the Duke; “ there must be some mistake, 
and as I am acquainted with the Duke, 
if you will return I think I’ll get you more.” 
The boy consented; back they went. The 
Duke rang the bell, and ordered all the serv¬ 
ants to be assembled. “ Now,” said the 
Duke to the boy, “ point me out the person 
that gave you the shilling.” “It was that 
chap there, with the apron,” said the boy, 
pointing to the butler. The delinquent con¬ 
fessed, fell on his knees and attempted' an 
apology; but the Duke interrupted him, 
indignantly ordered him to give the boy the 
sovereign, and quit his service instantly. 
“You have lost,” said the Duke, “your 
money, your situation and your character, 
by your covetousness ; learn henceforth that 
‘ honesty is the best policy.’ ” The boy by 
this time recognised his assistant in the 
person of the Duke ; and the Duke was so 
delighted with the sterling worth and honesty 
of the boy that he ordered him to be sent to 
school, kept there and provided for at his 
own expense. 
Mr. Dunn Brown remarked to us the other 
day, that it -was all very well to say, “never 
go to law,” but vhat was a fellow to do 
when law came to him ? Mr. Brown’s ob¬ 
servation was called forth by an oblong piece 
of paper, with which an officer had favored 
him. There was a great deal of force in 
Mr. Dunn Brown’s way of putting the ques¬ 
tion. 
