156 
AMERICAN AGRICULTURIST. 
A DIG WITH A LADY’S PARASOL. 
Punch, you naughty fellow!—You laugh 
at our bonnets, and the funny way in 
which we ladies wear them. I only wish 
you gentlemen would look at your own 
dress a little before you think of laughing at 
ours. Our bonnets, after all, are not half so 
ugly as your hats—nasty black things, that 
have no more shape in them than an ele¬ 
phant's leg. I’m sure I should be sorry to 
put the slice of a chimney-pot on my head ! 
I wish you could see yourselves—you 
would be a little more careful then how you 
go out of your way to ridicule us. As for 
your scarfs, also—I would sooner go bare¬ 
necked than put round my throat anything 
half so nonsensical. Why, I have seen 
young gentlemen wear neck handkerchiefs 
no thicker than the ribbon we should think 
of putting round the neck of a kitten. They 
are not half so broad as watch-ribbons. I 
declare, in size they are no broader than the 
white satin favors we tie up wedding-cake 
with. You will be wearing your shoe¬ 
strings for a neck-tie next. I will tell you 
what they put me in mind of—whenever I 
see one of these pretty dears, I imagine he 
is the favorite lap-dog belonging to some 
lady, and has slipt his string. The next 
morning I expect to read in the papers an 
advertisement, describing his hair, ears, and 
eyes, and offering a reward of ten shillings 
if any one will return him to his disconso¬ 
late mistress. Mind, these are not shop- 
boys—these are not lawyer’s clerks, or med¬ 
ical students; but elegant young men, who 
part their hair down the middle, indulge in 
the most extraordinary shirt-collars, sport 
black stripes down their legs, and altogether 
pretend to some degree of taste. Then the 
shirt-collars !—No military stock ever stran¬ 
gled a poor, unfortunate soldier half so 
cruelly as one of these “ all round collars” 
cut and torture the unfortunate physiognomy 
that is locked up in it. What! if I were to 
direct public attention to these stupid stripes 
down your trousers 1 What do they mean ? 
Are they useful 1 Are they even ornamen¬ 
tal ? Is it not an affectation of the military 
style, which argues that those who adopt it 
are anything but. military men? Must you 
be marked all over like a giraffe ?—must you 
be scored about with broad gashes like a leg 
of pork? You only see those black lines on 
the body of a mule ; and we all know that 
the mule is the nearest approach to the don¬ 
key. I will not say anything more—but 
will simply conclude by asking you cher 
Punchey , if you think it is fair to attack us 
for anything rediculous ?—the ridicule with 
us sinning only on the side of beauty—while 
you, gentlemen, if you do sin in matters of 
dress, are sure to sin on the ugly side. I 
wonder you are not ashamed of yourselves. 
Lady Correspondent of Punch. 
Statistics of Muscular Power. —Man has 
the power of imitating almost every motion 
but that of flight. To effect this, he has, in 
maturity and health, sixty bones in his head, 
sixty in his thighs and legs, sixty-two in his 
arms and hands, and sixty-seven in his trunk. 
He has also 434 muscles. His heart makes 
sixty-four pulsations in a minute ; and there¬ 
fore 3,840 in an hour, 92,160 in a day. There 
are also three complete circulations of his 
blood in the short space of an hour. In re¬ 
spect to the comparative speed of animated 
beings, and of impelled bodies, it may be re¬ 
marked that size and construction seem to 
have little influence, nor has comparative 
strength, though one body giving any quantity 
of molion to another is said to lose so much 
of its own. The sloth is by no means a 
small animal, and it can travel only fifty paces 
in a day ; a worm crawls only five inches in 
fifty seconds; but a lady-bird can fly twenty 
million times its own length in less than an 
hour. An elk can run a mile and a half in 
seven minutes ; an antelope a mile in a min¬ 
ute ; the wild mule of Tartary has a speed 
even greater than that; an eagle can fly 
eighteen leagues in an hour ; and a Canary 
falcon can even reach 250 leagues in the 
short space of sixteen hours. A violent 
wind travels sixty miles in an hour; sound, 
1,142 English feet in a second. [Bucks. 
A MOTHER'S SUGGESTION ABOUT TRAINING 
CHILDREN. 
We have a friend, somewhat advanced in 
life, who has that best certificate of ability in 
a mother, viz: a most exemplary family; and 
we are often greatly interested in hearing her 
tell anecdotes of her experience in bringing 
them up. Some of these are too good to be 
lost, and for the benefit of our lady readers 
we repeat one. 
When our friend was yet a young mother, 
she had two daughters, one less than two 
years older than the other. The eldest, 
Julia, was a petite beauty, very delicately 
formed, with regular features, clear complex¬ 
ion and bright golden ringlets. The second, 
Helen, was of larger growth, more childlike, 
with less of the statuary perfection of form 
and feature, a paler cheek and straight hair, 
which obstinately refused to be curled. Her 
principal beauty was the love-light in her se¬ 
rious contemplative face which was not so 
obvious to strangers. The children were so 
nearly of one size, and so constantly dressed 
alike, that they were thought to be twins ; 
but the younger was comparatively unno 
ticed. 
They were constantly together, while visi¬ 
tors at home and strangers abroad were daily 
or hourly exclaiming, “ Oh, what a beauti¬ 
ful child ! what lovely hair!” when looking 
at the elder sister. One day, after some la¬ 
dies had passed out who had been very lav¬ 
ish of expressions of admiration for the gold¬ 
en curls, the little Helen came up to her 
mother’s side, and with an unshed tear in her 
eye looked up and asked, “ Mother, is not 
Helen’s hair pretty, too ?” 
This was a revelation to the mother, and 
taking her up, she caressed the unpraised 
hair, and said how beautiful it was for mother, 
and how mother loved Julia and Helen both 
alike, and how dear they wear to her. But 
experience had taught her that she could not 
prevent strangers admiring and caressing the 
one child, while they passed the other unno¬ 
ticed, and thus make the one vain and the 
other sad. So, after a severe mental strug¬ 
gle, she resolved to sacrifice the external 
beauty of the elder to preserve her spiritual 
loveliness, and in half an hour Julia’s golden 
curls and Helen’s straight tresses were ly¬ 
ing side by side in a paper envelope. In 
speaking of it she said, “ Oh, it did appear so 
hard to cut off those curls, for I had been so 
proud of them ; but when it was done, there 
was little difference in the children’s appear¬ 
ance, and people took but little notice of 
them.” 
At the age of three years the little Helen 
was beautiful in her shroud, and at thirty 
Julia wears her curls with a different grace 
and humility from what she would have done 
had she never so lost them, or been taught 
ever to esteem others more than herself. 
Pittsburg Journal and Visitor. 
No ear for Music.—A soldier, manyyears 
ago, was sentenced for desertion, to have his 
ears cut off. After undergoing the brutal 
ordeal, he was escorted out of the court-yard 
to the tune of the rogue’s march. He then 
turned, and in mocked dignity thus addressed 
the musicians, “Gentlemen, I thank you! 
but I have no further use for your services. 
I have no ear for music.” 
CHEAP MICROSCOPE. 
There is a man who sometimes stands in 
Leicester-square, London, who sells micro¬ 
scopes at one penny each. They are made 
of a common pill-box ; the bottom taken out, 
and a piece of window glass substituted ; a 
small hole is bored in the lid, and therein is 
placed a lens, the whole apparatus being 
painted black. Upon looking through one of 
these microscopes, I was surprised to find 
hundreds of creatures, apparently the size of 
earthworms, swimming about in all directions 
yet on the object glass nothing could be seen 
but the small speck of flour and water, con¬ 
veyed there on the end of a lucifer match, 
from a common inkstand, which was nearly 
full of this vivified paste. I bought several 
of these microscopes, determined to find out 
how all this could be done for a penny. Ail 
eminent microscopist examined them, and 
found that the magnifying power was 20 di¬ 
ameter. The cost of a lens made of glass of 
such power would be from 3s. to 4s. How, 
then, could the whole apparatus be made for 
a penny ? A penknife revealed the mystery. 
The pill-box was cut in two, and then it ap¬ 
peared that the lens was made of Canada bal¬ 
sam, a transparent gum. The balsam had 
been very cleverly dropped into the eye-hole 
of the pill-box. It then assumed the proper 
size and trasparency of a well-ground lens. 
Our ingenious lens maker informed me that 
he had been selling these microscopes for 
fifteen years, and that he and his family con¬ 
jointly made them. One child cut the pill¬ 
box, another the cap, another put them to¬ 
gether, his wife painted them black, and he 
made the lens. Dickens’ Household Words. 
PULLING TOGETHER; 
OR A HINT FOR THE NEWLY MARRIED. 
A bridegroom requested his wife to accom¬ 
pany him into the garden a day or two after 
the wedding. He then threw a line over the 
roof of their cottage. Giving his wife one 
end of it, he retreated to the other side, and 
exclaimed, “ pull the line !’’ She pulled at 
his request as far as she could. He cried, 
“pull it over.” “I can’t,” she replied. 
“ Pull with all your might!” shouted the 
whimsical husband. But in vain were all 
the efforts of the bride to pull over the line so 
long as the husband held on the opposite end. 
But when she came round, and they both 
pulled at one end, it came over with great 
ease. “ There ” said he, “ you see how hard 
and ineffectual was our labor when we pulled 
in opposition to each other; but how easy 
and pleasant it is when we both pulled to¬ 
gether. If we oppose each other it will be 
pleasant to live. Let us, therefore always 
pull together.” 
WHO WILL MAKE A GOOD WIFE. 
When you see a young woman who rises 
early, sets the table and prepares her father’s 
breakfast cheerfully, depend upon it she will 
make a good wife. You may rely upon it 
that she possesses a good disposition and 
kind heart. When you see a young woman 
just out of bed at 9 o’clock, with her elbow 
upon the table, gasping and sighing, “ Oh, 
how dreadfully I feel,” rely upon it she will 
not make a good wife. She must be lazy 
and mopish. When you see a girl with a 
broom in her hand sweeping the floor, with 
a rubbing board or clothes line in her hand, 
you may put it down that she is industrious, 
and will make a very good wife for some¬ 
body. When you see a girl with a novel in 
her left hand and a fan in her right, shedding 
tears, you may be sure that she is unfit for a 
wife. Happiness and misery are before you, 
which will you choose ? 
The man who is truly just will flourish in 
spite of envy. 
