AMERICAN AGRICULTURIST. 
171 
NO !—A GOOD LESSON. 
No !—That is a very short word. It has 
a very short meaning sometimes. It often 
blasts fond anticipations ; it may change the 
whole tenor of a life. In matrimonial mat¬ 
ters it would be better that it should be 
oftener said than it is, for many of that sex 
say no when they mean yes, and should use 
the shorter word when they do not. 
One Sunday evening not many nights ago, 
the Rev. Mr. Thompson performed a mar¬ 
riage ceremony at the Tabernacle—both 
parties said yes at the proper time, and the 
revered gentleman said amen. 
“ I want you to perform the same thing for 
me,” said a well-dressed youngish man to 
Mr. Thompson. 
“ When?” 
“ Now—right off—to night.” 
“ Can't you put it off a little ? It will 
make it rather late.” 
“ No—the lady says now or never, and 1 
am very anxious. Will you go ?” 
“ Yes ; where is it ?” 
“ Close by—only a few steps west of the 
park. We are all ready, and will not detain 
you but a few minutes on your way home.” 
Mr. T. went to the place, which was a re¬ 
spectable boarding-house, and everything 
evinced decorum. The lady—young and 
pretty, neatly dressed, and altogether a de¬ 
sirable partner for the gentleman—was pres¬ 
ented and a short prayer, as usual upon 
such occasions, offered, and then hands 
joined. 
“ You, with a full sense of the obligations 
you assume, do promise, here in the pre¬ 
sence of God and these witnesses, that you 
will take this woman, whose right hand you 
clasp in yours, to be your lawful wedded 
wife, and as such you will love and cherish 
her forever.” 
“ I do.” 
“ And you Miss, on your part, will take 
this man to be your lawful wedded hus¬ 
band 1” 
“ NO !” 
We have heard in time past, when show¬ 
ers were fashionable, some pretty heavy 
claps of thunder, but none that ever rattled 
about the tympanum of that bridegroom was 
quite so loud as that stunning little monosyl¬ 
lable. 
“ No, I never will!” said she most emphat¬ 
ically, and walked away proudly to her seat, 
leaving her almost-husband looking and prob¬ 
ably feeling just the least trifle in the 
world foolish. 
Mr. Thompson remonstrated—not to in¬ 
duce her to change that no for yes, but for 
trifling with him in a solemn duty of his 
calling, and asked for an explanation. 
“I mean no disrespect to you, sir, or to 
trifle with your duty, or the solemn obliga¬ 
tion you are called upon to ratify; but I had 
no other way to vindicate my character. I 
came to the city a poor sewing girl. I 
worked forthis man. He made proposals of 
marriage to me, but from other circum¬ 
stances I doubted his sincerity, and left his 
employment and went back to the country a 
while. When I returned, I found the door 
of my former boarding-house closed against 
me, and this lady, whom I had esteemed as 
a kind friend, cold and quite indisposed to 
renew my acquaintance, and I insisted upon 
knowing the reason. I learned that this 
man had blackened my character, denied his 
proposals of marriage, and said I was—no 
matter what. I said to the lady ‘ let me 
come back and I will prove my innocence. 
Will you believe what I say if he will now 
marry me V 
“ ‘ Yes, I certainly will, and so will all who 
know you.’ 
“ I renewed the acquaintance—he renewed 
the proposals—I accepted, and said ‘ yes, go 
get the minister at once.’ He slandered me 
—I deceived him. I proved my words true, 
and his false. It was the only way a poor, 
helpless girl had to avenge herself upon a 
man, who had proved himself unworthy to 
be her husband. It was only at the right 
time, to say one word—one little word. I 
have said it. I hope it will be a lesson to 
men, an example to other girls, and that in 
many other and different circumstances 
they will learn to say no.” 
“ If 1 was angry for a single moment,” 
said Mr. Thompson, “ I carried none of it 
over the threshold.” It was a severe lesson, 
but well applied. I went home pondering 
upon the value of that little word—No. 
New-York Tribune. 
MRS. PARTINGTON ON CLOCKS. 
“ The adventitious people didn't bring the 
world’s end about so easy as they thought,” 
said Mrs. Partington, at the recollection of 
seeing a long-legged saint in a white cotton 
gown on the top of a neighboring house the 
night before. “Yes,” replied old Rodger, 
gravely, “ it did come to an end ; it sus¬ 
pended for a little while, when a meeting of 
its creditors was held, and though its affairs 
were found a little shaky, it was thought 
best to let it go on, and it would come out 
all right enough.” “ You don’t say so !” 
cried she, “ well that’s the reason why my 
clock is half an hour slow, and I declare I 
couldn’t account for it.” Ike said nothing— 
but that he was allowed to stop out till half¬ 
past seven the night previous, made it look 
as if he might have put the clock back, but 
there was no knowing. [Boston Post. 
Rev. T. P. Hunt. —We have heard many 
good things that emanated from the keen wit 
of this reverend gentlemen, but the last one 
threw us down entirely. A man recently 
passing Mr. Hunt was accompanied by a 
small dog, and the little scoundrel took a 
sudden fancy to stick his teeth in the old 
gentleman's leg. This physical manifesta¬ 
tion not proving satisfactory to the clerical 
victim, he determined to victimize the dog, 
in turn, and drawing the big end of his cane, 
soon added another subject to the dog tombs. 
Thus began the dramatic tragi-comedy : 
Stranger—“ Why did you kill my dog 1” 
Hunt—“ Because he was going to bite 
me.” 
Stranger—“ Why didn't you use the small 
end of your stick ? you could have frightened 
him and not killed him !” 
Hunt (excited)—“ Why didn’t your dog 
come at me tail first, then 1” 
An exquisitely dressed young gentleman, 
after buying another seal to dangle about bis 
delicate person, said to the jeweler that he 
would ah like to have ah something engraved 
on it ah to denote what he was. “ Certain¬ 
ly, certainly ; I will put a cipher on it,” said 
the tradesman. 
Two lovers stood upon the shore of Massa¬ 
chusetts Bay, bidding a sad farewell before 
Seth tore himself away, “I’ll marry you 
when I come back my Sally Ann,” says he ; 
and then he took a little smack and went 
away to sea. 
Dobbs says he would have died of the 
cholera, in August, if it had not been for one 
thing—“the Doctors gave -him up.” Two 
days afterwards he says he was a well man, 
indulging in succotash. 
A New Society. —The last society spoken 
of in California is the “ Pay-Nothings.” It 
is said to be alarmingly prosperous. The 
pass-word is “ Lend me a dollar ”—and the 
response, “ broke.” 
A CANDIDATE FOR MATRIMONY. 
A lady advertising for a husband in the 
Water Cure Journal, gives the following de¬ 
scription of herself. She would seem to 
have some fine “ points:” 
“ I am just twenty, but will not marry be¬ 
fore I am two years older. I am a graduate 
of the Marietta Seminary. I can do, and 
love to do, all manner of house-work, from 
making pies and bread to washing shirts. I 
can do all kinds of sewing, from embroidery 
to linsey pantaloons. 1 can skate, ride, 
dance, sing, play on the piano or spinning- 
wheel, or anything that may reasonably be 
expected of my sex. If required, I can act 
the part of a dunce in society of the upper 
ten, or the part of a woman among women. 
As for riding, here allow me to make a ban¬ 
ter : any man may bring two horses, give 
me choice and ten feet, and then if he over¬ 
takes me in one mile I am his ; if not, the 
horse is mine. Beware ! 
“ I am a believer in hydropathy, and use 
no tea or coffee, neither do I wear corsets ; 
but I am willing my husband shall do either, 
if he desires. I believe in ‘ women’s rights,’ 
but believe I have no right to meddle with 
politics, or men’s business in general, nor 
have men the right to meddle with ours. As 
for appearance, I am neither tall nor short, 
large nor small, but I am just as I was made. 
I have never attempted to alter my shape or 
color, as I am perfectly satisfied with the 
same. By fops, I am styled handsome ; by 
the young men on whom I please to smile, I 
am styled the height of perfection ; by those 
I frown upon, ‘ the devil’s imp ;’by the wise 
and sober, I am called wild and foolish; by 
my female acquaintances, ‘ Molly ;’ and by 
my uncle I am called ‘ Tom.’ 
“ If I marry, it will be a man who uses 
no spirits, tobacco or profanity. He may be 
young or old, handsome or homely, rich or 
poor, but not in the extreme ; he must have 
a good common education, at least; he must 
be industrious; he must be capable of so 
bearing himself in any society that he will be 
beloved by all; his disposition on after ac¬ 
quaintance must please in every respect; he, 
after marriage, must allow me to follow the 
dictates of my own conscience, provided I 
do not trample on his rights, and he must 
follow suit.” 
THE TRUE WOMAN. 
The true woman, for whose ambition a 
husband’s love, and her children’s adoration 
are sufficient, who applies her military in¬ 
stincts to the discipline of her household, 
and her legislative faculties in making laws 
for her nursery ; whose intellect has field 
enough for her in communion with her hus¬ 
band, and whose heart asks no other honors 
than his love and admiration ; a woman who 
does not think it a weakness to attend to her 
toilet , and who does not disdain to be beauti¬ 
ful ; who believes in the virtue of her glossy 
hair and well-fitting gowns, and who es¬ 
chews rents and raveled edges, slip-shod 
shoes, and audacious make-ups ; a woman 
frho speaks low and does not speak much ; 
who is patient and gentle, intellectual and 
industrious, loves more than she reasons, 
and yet does not love blindly ; who never 
scolds and rarely argues, but who adjusts 
with a smile ; a woman who is the wife we 
have dreamed of once in our lives, and who 
is the mother we still worship in the back¬ 
ward distance of the past; such a woman as 
this does more for human nature and more 
for woman’s cause than all the sea-captains, 
barristers, judges and members of Parlia¬ 
ment put together—God-given and God- 
blessed as she is. [Dickens. 
Few men take his advice who talks much 
