316 
AMERICAN AGRICULTURIST. 
ART OF A YANKEE PAINTER. 
A person who kept an inn by the roadside, 
went to a painter, who for a time had set up 
his easel not a hundred miles from Ontario, 
and inquired for what sum the painter would 
paint him a bear for a sign-board. It was 
to be a real good one, that would attract 
customers. 
“ Fifteen dollars,” replied the painter. 
“ That's too much!” replied the inn¬ 
keeper ; “ Tom Larkings will do it for ten !” 
The painter cogitated for a moment. He 
did not like that his rival should get a com¬ 
mission iu preference to himself, although it 
was only for a sign-board. 
“ Is it to be a wild or tame bear?” he in¬ 
quired. 
“ A wild one to be sure.” 
“ With a chain or without one ?” again 
asked the painter. 
“ Without a chain!” 
“ Well, I will paint you a wild bear, with¬ 
out a chain for ten dollars.” 
The bargain was struck, the painter set to 
work, and in due time sent home the sign¬ 
board, on which he had painted a huge brown 
hear of a most ferocious aspect. 
The sign-board was the admiration of all 
the neighborhood and drew plenty of custom¬ 
ers to the inn ; and the inn-keeper knew' not 
whether to congratulate himself more upon 
the possession of so attractive a sign, or in 
having secured it for the small sum of ten 
dollars. 
Time slipped on, Ins barrels were emptied 
and his pockets filled. Everything went on 
thrivingly for three weeks, when one night 
there arose one of those violent storms of rain 
and wind, thunder and lightning, which are 
so common in North America, and which 
pass over with almost as much rapidity as 
they rise. 
When the inn-keeper awoke next morning, 
the sun was shining, the birds singing, and 
all traces of the storm had passed away. He 
looked anxiously to see that his sign was 
safe. 
There it was sure enough, swinging to and 
fro as usual, but the bear had disappeared. 
The inn-keeper could hardly believe his 
eyes ; full of anger and surprize he ran to 
the painter, and related what had happened. 
The painter looked up cooly from his work. 
“ Was it a wild bear or a tame one ?” 
“ A wild bear.” 
“ Was it chained or not ?” 
“ I guess not!” 
“ Then ” cried the painter, triumphantly, 
“ how could you expect a wild bear to re¬ 
main in such a storm as that of last night 
without a chain ?” 
The inn-keeper had nothing to say against 
so conclusive an argument, and finally agreed 
to give the painter fifteen dollars to paint 
him a wild bear with a chain that would not 
take to the woods in the next storm. 
For the benefit of our unprofessional read¬ 
ers, it may be necessary to mention that the 
painter had painted the first bear in water 
colors, which had been washed away by the 
rain; the second bear was painted in oil 
colors, and was therefore able to withstand 
the weather. 
Graceful Compliment. —It was ajudicious 
resolution of a father, as well as a most 
pleasing compliment to his wife, when, on 
being asked what he intended to do with his 
girls, he replied: 
“ I intend to apprentice them all to their 
excellent mother, that they may learn the 
art of improving time, and be fitted to be¬ 
come, like her, wives, mothers, and heads of 
families, and useful members of society.” 
Why is a colt getting broke like a young 
lady getting married ? Give it up. Because 
he is going through the iridic ceremony. i 
IMPERTINENCE PUNISHED. 
We find in the Courrierdes Etats-Unis, an 
account of a curious incident which occured 
at a charity fair in Paris : 
A young lady. Miss A-, celebrated for 
her beauty and her wit, presided at one of 
the tables. Among the throng which pressed 
around the fair vender of elegant articles, 
was a young gentleman of much assurance, 
who gazed upon the lady with offensive free¬ 
dom, and affected to admire the various ar¬ 
ticles exposed for sale, but bought nothing. 
“ What will you please to buy, sir ?” asked 
Miss A-, with a smile of peculiar mean¬ 
ing. 
“ Oh,” replied the exquisite, with a lan¬ 
guishing look, “ what I most wish to pur¬ 
chase is unhappily not for sale.” 
“ Perhaps it is,” said the lady. 
“ No, no ; I dare not declare my wishes.” 
“ Nevertheless,” said Miss A-, “ let me 
know what you wish to buy.” 
“ Well, then, since you insist upon it, I 
should like a ringlet of your glossy black 
hair.” 
The lady manifested no embarrassment at 
the bold request, but with a pair of scissors 
immediately clipped off one of her beautiful 
locks, and handed it to the astonished youth, 
remarking that “ the price was five hundred 
francs !” 
Her bold admirer was thunderstruck at the 
demand, but dared not demur, as by this time 
a group had collected and were listening to 
the conversation. He took the hair, and 
paid over the five hundred francs, and with 
an air of mortification and sadness, left the 
hail ! _ _____ 
A DILEMMA. 
The ladies, (Heaven preserve them!) by 
their quaint and sometimes grotesque fash¬ 
ions, often throw mere men into false posi¬ 
tions. To prove this theory, the Worcester 
Transcript says : 
“ For example, take the present habit of 
lifting the ‘habits’ in the street, sometimes 
with one hand and often with both. During 
a recent fall of rail), Howard, who is one of 
the most polite of men, chanced to see a 
lady at a crossing in a very perplexing pre¬ 
dicament. She wished to cross the street, 
and, of course, to raise her garments to a 
proper height above the defiling mire ; she 
also wished to raise her umbrella. 
“To sustain the skirts (fashionably) re¬ 
quired two hands; to hold the umbrella— 
another ; the latter—she had not, inasmuch 
as Nature, not anticipating the present mode, 
had, by a too common oversight, given her 
but two. 
“ Puzzled—she raised the skirts—and two 
very pretty blue eyes; the glance whereof 
fell upon Howard—imploringly. Instantly ! 
the gallant hombre pushed to the rescue ;— 
but how to proceed ? there was ‘ the rub.’ 
Of course, he might not touch even the hem 
of a strange lady’s garment! and moreover, 
must offer one arm for the lady to lean upon. 
“ But Genius came to the aid of Courtesy. 
With one hand he held the umbrella, with the 
other—the lady, delicately contriving to lift 
one side of the skirts at the same time, while 
with her disengaged hand, the fair wanderer 
managed the other side, and over went the 
twain—triumphantly. 
“ Starer, who followed, remarked, that 
he never saw a pair of fifty cent hose more 
successfully preserved from mud, or so 
artistically presented to the beholder.” 
“ I thought you was born on the first of 
April,” said a Benedict to his lovely wife, 
who had mentioned the 21st as her birth day. 
“ Most people might think so, from the 
choice I made of a husband,” she replied) j 
BUSINESS THE CHARM OF LIFE. 
No passion is more ruinous than the haste 
to be rich. It is condemned alike by reve¬ 
lation, reason, and the sound practical ex¬ 
perience of life. It leads men to unsafe and 
runious speculation. It seduces them from 
fast anchored property to the mirage that 
glitters. It allows the hand of industry and 
employment to stand still on the dial plate of 
life, while men grasp at shadows. It is this 
passion that separates the business past 
from the business present by so Avide a gulf. 
The modern merchant, Avith small capital, 
and that perhaps not his own, Avith his granite 
store, his mahogany desk, his country seat, 
fast horse, and rash speculations, scorns the 
example of his size, Avho at his desk of pine 
and green baize, sat each day sixteen mor¬ 
tal hours at his business, and doing his own 
errands, and being his oavii clerk. With so 
Avide a contrast, it is not strange that many 
begin business Avhere their sires began. 
It is employment Ave all need, employment 
till it shall end. The plow boy is happy in 
his furroAV, and the hours pass swifter than 
the Aveaver’s shuttle, Avhile the matron and 
maid sing amid their daily duties. No suc¬ 
cess and no wealth can make that man hap¬ 
py avIio has nothing to do. We have seen a 
boy grow up to the full stature of manhood, 
take his stand by the side and as one of rich¬ 
est men, his elegant city residence and su¬ 
burban abode became the envy of men, his 
horses and his equipage the most perfect in 
our midst. 
An eminent merchant of Boston, when 
asked by some one Avhy he did not quit his 
busiuess, as his fortune Avas ample, replied 
that his repose Avould be his death. We 
know well that the spring of enjoyment Avould 
dry up, and soon, with inactivity, life Avould 
become a burden. The celebrated commen¬ 
tator, Dr. MacKnight, completed his Avorkon 
the epistles Avhen not far from sixty years of 
age. Nearly thirty years of his life had 
been occupied with that great labor. His 
employment had been regular and cheerful, 
and the purple current of life had flowed 
noiselessly and joyously along. He refused 
to go on Avith the Gospels, as he had earned 
his respite he said. His faculties Avere in 
their usual vigor. In leaving his regular 
employment his mind soon lost its tone, and 
he sank almost into driveling idiocy. Had he 
continued his employment, a mellow and a 
green old age Avould have been his portion, 
and his sun gone doAvn at last in unclouded 
splendor. [Credit lost. 
Beauties of the Laav. —A case was deci¬ 
ded in the Common Pleas at Cambridge the 
other day, Avhich happily illustrates the 
“ glorious uncertainty of the laAV,” and the 
very leisurely manner in Avhich our courts 
render satisfaction to litigants. In the spring 
of 1849, Tuttle, of Acton, sold a coav to 
Brown, of Concord, for fifty dollars; soon 
after the purchase, Brown discovered that 
ihe cow had one dry teat,. He then re¬ 
quested Tuttle to alloAv him a discount of 
$12 50 on the bill, and stated that he Avas 
ready to pay the balance. Tuttle refused 
to make any allowance for the dry teat, and 
sued Brown for the Avhole bill. The case 
Avas decided in his favor, but was carried up 
on appeal, again returned to the Common 
Pleas, Avhere it has remained on the docket , 
until last Tuesday, Avhen it Avas decided in 
favor of Brown. The costs have amounted 
to eight hundred dollars. 
Fitchburg Reveille. 
A Avestern editor thus delivers himself: 
We would say to the individual Avho stole 
our shirt off the pole, while vve were lying in 
bed Avaiting for it to dry, that we sincerely 
hope the collar may cut his throat, 
