396 
AMERICAN AGRICULTURIST. 
ADVICE TO CONSUMPTIVES. 
In some good advice to consumptives, Dr. 
Hall says : 
“ Eat all you can digest and exercise a 
great deal in the open air, to convert what 
you eat into pure healthful blood. Do not 
be afraid of out-door air, day or night. Do 
not be afraid of sudden changes of weather; 
let no change, hot or cold, keep you in doors. 
If it is rainy weather, the more need for your 
going out, because you eat as much on a 
rainy day as upon a clear day, and if you 
exercise less, that much more remains in 
the system of what ought to be thrown off 
by exercise, and some ill result, some con¬ 
sequent sympton of ill feeling is the certain 
issue. If it is cold out of doors, do not muf¬ 
fle your eyes, mouth and nose in furs, veils, 
woolen comforters, and the like ; nature has 
supplied you with the best muffler, with the 
best inhaling regulator, that is, two lips; 
shut them before you step out of a warm 
room into the cold air, and keep them shut 
until you have walked briskly a few rods and 
quickened the circulation a little ; walk fast 
enough to keep off a feeling of chilliness, and 
taking cold will be impossible. What are 
the facts of the case ; look at railroad con¬ 
ductors, going out of a hot air into the pierc¬ 
ing cold of winter and in again every five or 
ten minutes, and yet they do not take cold 
oftener than others ; you will scarcely find a 
consumptive man in a thousand of them. It 
is wonderful how afraid consumptive people 
are of fresh air, the very thing that would 
cure them, the only obstacle to a cure being 
that they do not get enough of it; and yet 
what infinite pains they take to avoid breath¬ 
ing it, especially if it is cold; when it is 
known that the colder the air is the purer it 
must be, yet if people can not get to a hot 
climate, they will make an artificial one, and 
imprison themselves for a whole winter in a 
warm room, with a temperature not varying 
ten degrees in six months ; all such people 
die, and yet we follow in their footsteps. If 
I were seriously ill of consumption, I would 
live out of doors day and night, except it was 
raining or mid-winter, then I would sleep in 
an unplastered log house. My consumptive 
friend, you want air, not physic ; you want 
pure air, not medicated air ; you want nutri¬ 
tion, such as plently of meat and bread will 
give, and they alone ; physic has no nutri¬ 
ment, gaspings for air can not cure you ; 
monkey capers in a gymnasium cannot cure 
you. If you want to get well, go in for beef 
and out-door air, and do not be deluded into 
the grave by newspaper advertisements, and 
unfindable certifiers.” 
A Deep Furrow. —Judge Coulter, of Vir¬ 
ginia, when first appointed to the bench, had 
jurisdiction over one of the mountain coun¬ 
ties. The district was made up of many 
wild and unruly fellows. One of the Judge’s 
first acts was to impose a heavy fine, by way 
of example, upon a rough and hardy back¬ 
woodsman, for disorderly conduct. As the 
man was leaving the court room, in charge 
of an officer, he turned and addressed the 
Judge : 
“ Your name is Coulter, is it not 1” 
“ Yes.” 
“ Well, all I have to say is, that you are 
setting your coulter rather too deep for a man 
who is plowing new ground.” 
It is recorded that the fellow’s wit saved 
the fine. 
“ I guess you mean to bring up that ere 
one to be pretty sharp at a bargain,” said a 
fellow to a woman who was rocking and 
singing, with all her might, to a little re¬ 
sponsibility. “ Why ?” said she. “ ’Cause 
you keep bawling by low baby, by low baby, 
into his ears all the time,” 
THE YANKEE ELECTIONEER. 
The following extract of a letter from a 
Yankee correspondent of the Galveston 
News, is highly amusing : 
Well, I put up with a first rate, good na- 
tured fellow, that I met at a billiard table. 
I went in and was introduced to his wife, a 
fine fat woman—looked as though she lived 
on laffin, her face was so full of fun. After 
a while—after we had talked about my gal, 
and about the garden and the weather—in 
came three or four children, laffin, and skip- 
pin’ as merry as crickets. There was no can¬ 
dle lit, but I could see that they were fine 
looking fellows, and I started for my saddle 
bags, in which I had put a lot of sugar candy 
for the children, as I went along. 
“ Come, here,” said I, “come here, you 
little rogue, and tell me what your name is.” 
The oldest came to me and says—“ My 
name is Peter Smith.” 
“ And what’s your name, sir 1” 
“ Bob Smith.” 
The next said his name was Bill Smith, and 
the fourth said his name was Tommy Smith, 
I gave ’em sugar candy, and old Mrs. Smith 
was so tickled that she laffed all the time. 
Mr. Smith looked on, but didn’t say much. 
“ Why,” says I, “ Mrs. Smith, I would not 
take a great deal for them boys, if I had ’em 
—they are so beautiful and sprightly.” 
“ No,” said she laffin, “ l set a good deal 
on them, but we spoil them too much.” 
“ No,” said I, “ they’re real well behaved 
children; and,” says I, pretending to be star¬ 
tled by a striking likeness between the boys 
and the father, and I looked at Mr. Smith, 
“ I never did see anything equal to it,” says 
I, your own forehead, eyes, mouth, and per¬ 
fect picture of hair, sir; tapping the old one 
on the pate. I then thought Mrs. Smith 
would have died laffin’ at that, her arms fell 
down by her side, and she shook the whole 
house laffin’. 
“Do you think so, Col. Jones,” said she, 
lookin’ towards Mr. Smith, and I thought 
she’d gone off in a fit. 
“ Yes,” says I, “ I do really.” 
“ Ha, ha, haw !” says Mr. Smith, kind of 
half laffin, “ you are too hard on me with 
your jokes.” 
“ I ain’t jokin’ at all,” says I, they are 
handsome children, and do look wonderfully 
like you. 
Just then a gal brought a light in, and I’ll 
be blamed if the little brats did’nt turn out to 
be niggers—every one of them, and their 
hair was as kinky as the blackest nigger’s. 
Mr. and Mrs. Smith never had any chil¬ 
dren, and they sort o’ petted them niggers 
for playthings. 
I never felt so streaked as I did when I 
found how things stood. If I hadn’t kissed 
the nasty things I could have got over it— 
but kissing showed I was in earnest. 
The next morning I could see that Mr. 
Smith did not like the remembrance of what 
I said, and I don’t believe he’ll vote for me 
when the election comes off. I ’spect Mrs. 
Smith kept the old fellow under the joke for 
some time. 
So-ciable Affair. —The Major, in com¬ 
pany with Topaz, called upon one of our ad¬ 
vertisers the other afternoon, to take a look 
at one of the most improved style of sewing 
machines. After the two had gazed upon it 
for some time in silence, Topaz asked the 
Major what he thought of it. “ Oh,” he re¬ 
plied, “ I consider it only a so so affair.” “So 
it seems,” was the answer. “But then, Ma¬ 
jor, l think it could be used to good advan¬ 
tage in the army.” “In what way?” in¬ 
quired the Major. “ Why,” replied Topaz, 
“ iff would be of use in repairing breeches 
A DROPPED LETTER. 
The following we clip from the Boston 
Post. It is too good to be lost. It is from 
one of the “ American ” members of the 
Massachusetts Legislature to his “ affection¬ 
ate son 
Boston, Jan. 16,1855. 
Son John :—I have too much legislative 
work to come home on Saturday night as 1 
said I would—so you must mind the farm. 
I have managed to get on a good many com¬ 
mittees so as to become popular by having 
my name printed oftner in the papers and I 
manage to say something occasionally and I 
have seen my name three times printed in 
the daily 1 bee. American principles is look¬ 
ing up some here in Boston and we are going 
to discord all forign eliments in our govern¬ 
ment (by the way have the barn door painted 
over with some other color besides Spanish 
brown. I dont like anything Spanish.) The 
governor has made a lick at the forign mali- 
tia and disbanded all the companies. (Dont 
use any more British oil for your deefness 
for I have thrown away that box of Russia 
salve your mother put in my trunk to rub 
my rumatick leg with use American physic 
it is the best.) We are going to have the 
latin lingo taken of the state coat of arms 
and put plain yankee english in its place. 
We are going ahead I tell you and making 
a clear swoop of everything of forign extrac¬ 
tion I have visited no place of amusement 
excepting the live buffaloo which is a regu¬ 
lar native he looks very much like a hairy 
cow. Speaking of cows reminds me of our 
Durham bull you may sell him to Wade the 
butcher he is of forign extraction. A friend 
asked me to go to the Anthenium and see the 
library and pictures but! was told nearly all 
the pictures are painted by the old masters 
as they are called—and these I am told are 
without exception all forigners besides many 
of the books are in forign languages so it is 
contrary to the spirit of our principles to visit 
such a place. I was going to see Banvards 
great painting of the Holy land which is 
making some stir but an native artist told me 
it was mostly painted with Venetian red 
Dutch pink and Naples yellow Avhile all the 
skies were prussian blue too much of the 
forign element to be interesting to me. By 
the way speaking of paint have the front 
blinds which I had painted with French 
green last fall painted with some other color 
other than I mentioned above. Stop the 
Zions Herald and take the Yankee privateer 
in its place. Give my Marseills vest to dick 
the ploughman and tell him to stone Jip the 
scotch terrier off the farm and to kill that 
Maltese cat 
from your affectionate father 
PRIVATE CHARACTER OF A LOCOMOTIVE. 
People who may see a locomotive tearing 
up and down the land at the rate of 40 miles 
an hour, making the earth groan beneath its 
giant tread, and the heavens themselve re- 
verbate with its fearful clattering, scaring 
nature with its unearthly din, and frightening 
all creation almost from its propriety, peo¬ 
ple who only see it in its terrible activity, 
have no idea what eminently social virtues 
it is endowed with. This is the public char¬ 
acter. Its private one is another affair. 
Now and then one of these huge monsters, 
in whose iron bowels slumber more than a 
thousand giant powers, comes up and stands 
under our window and smokes away as gen¬ 
tle as the most exemplary cooking stove, its 
huge steam pipes singing a strain as soft and 
dulcet as the most amiable tea-kettle, and its 
lungs of steel breathing as sweetly as an in¬ 
fant in its slumbers. But the demon of pow¬ 
er is there. Let any one but pinch its ears. 
