AMERICAN AGrRIC ULT UR1ST, 
Eighteenth Book of Chronicles. 
CHAPTER i. 
1. And it came to pass in the reign of Franklin, whose 
surname was Pierce, that there lived in the Province of 
New-Jersey a man named Thomas. 
2. And Thomas was a husbandman, who dwelt upon the 
land which his fathers had given unto him. 
3. But by reason of much sickness and of floods and 
drouths, he had not dwelt in prosperity, as had his fathers. 
4. His land was not fruitful, neither his flocks nor his 
herds. Only his asses yielded any profit of all his labors. 
5. Now Thomas had taken unto him a wife from the 
daughters of the princes of the Province of Pennsylvania, 
and her name was Catharina. 
6. But Catharina was discontented in the house of her 
husband, and wearied him much with her daily entreaties. 
7. For she said daily unto Thomas, Thou art not like 
unto my brethren in the 
house of my father in the 
Province of Pennsylvania. 
8. Their lands yield plenti¬ 
fully, and they eat of the good 
things of the earth, both they 
and their wives and their 
little ones, while I dwell in 
poverty and sorrow. 
9. Then said Thomas unto 
her, What wilt thou, Catha¬ 
rina? Behold, I toil even 
from the rising of the sun to 
the going down thereof. My 
fathers dwelt here in abun¬ 
dance, and I labor more than 
they, but yet prosperity com- 
eth not. 
10. But Catharina re¬ 
proached him still the more, 
and upbraided him for lack 
of knowledge. 
11. .And she said unto him, 
Thou art ignorant, Thomas. 
Hast thou not heard that in 
he Province of New-York, 
even in the great city of that 
province, called Gotham, 
that knowledge doth abound? 
12. And is there not on the 
great street of that city a 
temple, where wise men do 
gather on the second day of 
the first and of the third 
weeks in every month ? 
13. And do not those who are skillful to make the earth 
bring forth abundantly, meet there and make know n to 
each other the secrets of gaining riches from stubborn land 
like thine own ? 
14. Go thou up thither, and thou too shalt be wise, and 
our lands shall become fruitful. 
13. But Thomas was simple minded, and heeded not the 
counsels of his wile ; 
16. For he said, I have heard that they are chiefly crafty 
men, and they who gather together into that temple are 
those who would draw simple men into a snare by their 
specious words. 
17. Nevertheless, Catharina left no peace unto Thomas, 
but she said daily unto him, Go up and get thee wisdom. 
18. And when his soul was weary within him from her 
urging, he said unto her, I will get me up to the temple 
of wisdom as thou desirest. 
19. And great was t-he joy of Catharina, and that night 
she slept not, but she mended his garments, and made 
ready for him cakes and cooked meats for his journey. 
20. Neither did Thomas sleep, for his heart was troubled. 
CHAPTER II. 
1. And very early in the morning Thomas arose, and 
saddled his mule, and Catharina filled the panniers with 
much provision for his journey. 
2. And before midday he reached the Great River, and 
gave his beast to an inn-keeper hard by, and hastened him 
over, and through much people running to and fro. 
3. And after much travel through the Great Street that 
is called the Broad Way, he came to a narrow entrance 
to a second story, and there he saw it written: “Farm¬ 
ers’ Club meets here to-day. Strangers particularly 
welcome 
4. Then he knew that his journey was ended, and he 
ascended wilh joy to an upper room. 
5. And there he found gathered of the wise men a small 
number, and many others like himself who had come 
hither seeking knowledge. 
G. And Thomas was much afraid, and sat him dowrn in 
a corner to listen to the words of the wise men. 
7. And one of them read from many heathen languages 
curious and marvelous things. 
8. And after him stood up one, and another, and talked 
very skillfully (slily speaking of what they had to sell) ; 
but Thomas knew not whereof they talked, and his 
heart fell within him, for he thought, What shall I say 
unto Catharina of my journey ? 
9. But there rose up one from his own province, even 
of the province of New. Jersey, one of the land princes 
who had got himself a very great name in all the pro¬ 
vinces, and professed to know all things. 
10. And his words did flow very smoothly, and he 
talked much of his own land, and what money lie had 
gathered from his husbandry. 
11. And Thomas gave good heed unto his words, and 
heard him gladly, for the man had the skill to draw 
much people after him by his crafty speech. 
12. But most of all did Thomas rejoice in the man’s 
“A DREAM THAT WAS NOT ALL A DREAM.” 
prosperity in raising callages for the markets of the great 
city, from which he did get great bags full of silver 
and gold. 
13. And the man pretended to keep not back the se¬ 
crets of his success, but to reveal all things. 
14. And he said his land was very poor, but he put 
upon it a medicine he had discovered, that charmed it. 
Only a very little was needed, so much as a man could 
take in his hand for the land one could stride over. 
15. And the land brought forth abundantly, even great 
cabbages, as large as a bushel measure. 
10. And the land when treated to the medicine yield¬ 
ed at the rate of ten thousand nine hundred, and four 
score and ten such great cabbages upon one acre, or so 
little a space as a man could walk over in three score 
and five steps. 
17. And when Thomas heard the man say he would sell 
the medicine, he waited no longer, but gat him out from 
the assembly, and hastened him back to his beast and 
paid the inn-keeper. 
18. And with much beating of his mule, he hastened on 
and reached his home at the going down of the sun. 
19. And Catharina met him at the gate, and even before 
they went into the house lie told her of the wonderful 
things he had heard, and of that wonderful medicine, 
called super-human horsefat (wdiich in the Latin tongue 
signifieth super-phosphate.) 
20. And until the sixth hour of the night did they talk of 
the fields they would plant in cabbages, and of the gold 
that would come unto them. And then did they go to 
their couch with joyful hearts. 
CHAPTER III. 
1. But Thomas slept not soundly, and in his night vision 
he dreamed a dream. 
2. And in his dream he saw a towering cabbage, that like 
Jonah’s gourd rose up in a night, and the birds of the air 
lodged and built their nests in the top thereof. 
3. And in his dream he called his neighbors, and pro¬ 
vided him horses and wagons, and began with an ax to 
cut down the stem of the cabbage. 
4. And as it fell, the great noise of the falling awoke 
him, and he related his dream unto Catharina, wfco had 
not yet slept. And she interpreted the dream to be a fore¬ 
shadowing of the great riches in store for them. 
5. And they talked of what they would do with their 
riches until the tenth hour of the night, and then arose. 
6. And while Thomas harnessed hts mules, Catharina 
made ready his morning repast, and at the break of day 
Thomas began his journey,to see the smooth-tongued man. 
7. And he carried with him in a bag all the gold and 
silver in the house, both his own and Catharina’s, to buy 
of the medicine, even all his mules could carry. 
8. And he delayed not in Ins journey, even seven 
leagues, until he came to the house of the smooth-tongued 
man. 
9. But his heart failed within him when the man’s ser 
vant told him that his master was gone, as was his wont, 
to the great city, to sell his medicine for sick land. 
10. Then Thomas asked the servant to show him the 
great fields of cabbages. 
11. But the servant seemed 
not to know whereof he 
talked. And he said, My 
master hath in the corner of 
his garden a few cabbages, 
but I know not of the fields 
whereof thou speakest. 
12. Then the servant 
showed him the cabbages 
and tarried long at one 
larger than the rest 
13. It may be, said the ser¬ 
vant, that thou hast heard 
my master speak of this cab¬ 
bage. I have indeed heard 
him say, that if an acre w as 
covered with sucli cabbages, 
the sum would be very great, 
even ten thousand or more. 
14. And moreover, 1 did 
hear my master say that this 
cabbage yielded at the rate 
of ten thousand nine hun¬ 
dred and four score and ten 
cabbages. 
15. But as my soul livelh, 
this is all the cabbages I 
have seen my master raise 
in the many years that 1 
have served him. 
16. And Thomas asked the 
servant what was put upon 
the land ? 
17. And the servant ans¬ 
wered that the new medicine made by his master for to 
sell, was put with the plant. 
18. But he could not say more of it. He had seen 
his master take it from a bag, and privately put with 
it as much more of something yellow, brought in a bag 
from the heathen land of Peru. 
19. Then was Thomas much cast down in spirit, and 
he gat him to his mules and turned his face homeward 
20. And the rest of the deeds of Thomas, and of his wife 
Catharina. and of the deeds of the smooth tongued man, 
and of the sayings of the wise men of Gotham, are they 
not recorded in the Chronicles of the land princes of the 
Province of New-Jersey, and are they not laid up in the 
archives of the Agriculturist even on the street that is 
called Water, in the great city of Gotham? 
-♦-!- -, -- 
Huyine Artificial Manures, 
Not a day passes without inquiries in regard to the 
value oflhis or that fertilizer offered to the public. Mineral 
manures, as a class, are not worth the price asked for 
them after they have been through manufacturers’ hands. 
We look upon the w hole genus of super phosphates, as not 
worth purchasing—except when unadulterated and made 
from unburned bones , which is rarely the case. In Hie 
same category we place all the “ phosphatic guanos”— 
no m liter whethercalled “ Mexican,” "American,” “Pa¬ 
cific, Ocean,” “ Columbian,” “ Patagonian,” “ Sombrero,” 
or by any other name. We believe that the value of any 
concentrated manure depends mainly upon ihe amount of 
organic matter (that is, animal or vegetable matter) 
which it contains. And any fertilizer, to be worth $15 a 
ton or more, must contain a considerable per cent of actu. 
al ammonia-yielding elements—not merely “ organic mat¬ 
ter yielding ammonia,” as many of the published analyses 
read. The seller of any one of the dozen “guanos ” now 
advertised, must show us that the article contains a fair 
proportion of rich ammonia-yielding organic matter, he 
fore we can have confidence enough in it to buy or recom 
mend it. We care nothing for the certificates of effects, 
or the (purchased) analyses exhibited. Such recommen 
dationscan be easily ontained, and are obtained, for the 
sheerest humbug of a patent medicine in the land Pe¬ 
ruvian guano, unburned bones, and such as are made al¬ 
most wholly of animal matters— not worked over with a 
large admixture of other less valuable material —are the 
chief concentrated fertilizers w orthy of an investment 
