198 
Advertising Information—Gratis. 
Latterly there have sprung up, in different parts 
of the country, a very benevolent class of adver¬ 
tisers, who offer great inducements to persons 
“out of employment,” or anxious to get suddenly 
rich, or a sure cure is offered to the afflicted, etc. 
Generally, this class of advertisers need a stamp, 
or two, or three, or more, to remunerate them for 
their trouble, or to pay “ return postage.” Now, 
without at all calling in question the character of 
the offers made, we submit that it is quite a tax 
upon the people to be obliged to write to each of 
these advertisers before they can find out the na¬ 
ture of the employment offered, or the quality of 
medicine, or the kind of new implement, or plant, 
or seed, the use or sale of which will lead to cer¬ 
tain wealth. Everybody must write a letter of 
inquiry, which costs a “ stamp ” to begin with, to 
say nothing of the time and labor of writing, and 
the “ return postage stamp” often required. 
We have hit upon a plan which will save a 
great deal of trouble, so far as our readers are 
concerned. We propose, as these attractive ad¬ 
vertisements come to our notice, to have letters 
written to the advertisers, containing all needful 
enclosures of stamps or money, and making all 
proper inquiries. These letters will be signed by 
different names, and dated and mailed for 
us at some post-office in the country, and when 
the answers are received—if so be that any an¬ 
swers come, which is seldom the case if the first 
letter contains any money or stamps—the replies 
will he sent to our office. We shall then be able 
to inform a hundred thousand persons all at once , 
what the advertisers really offer. Will not this 
save a deal of writing and trouble on the part of 
the people 1 The advertisers cannot complain, 
surely. Will not this save them the trouble of re¬ 
plying to individual inquirers'! But, while we 
undertake to do this much lor the advertisers, we 
canriot do everything for them. It is against the 
rules to insert advertisements, in full, in our read¬ 
ing columns ; and furthermore, we do not wish 
to rob other publishers of the profits of advertis¬ 
ing, so we must omit the exact name ami ad¬ 
dress. Where we leave a blank line, the curious 
reader may readily find a name to fit it by run¬ 
ning over the columns of Daily or Weekly news¬ 
papers. We begin with specimens of the large 
number of advertisements already ‘‘ investigated.” 
[No. 1.] 
MPL.0jOlENT.-S60 a Month, and all 
Expenses Paid.— A LOCAL AGENT is wanted in every 
County in the United States and Canmla, t o engage in a respect¬ 
able and honorable business, by which the above profits may 
certainly be realized. For tuil particulars address -- -- 
-, (inclosing: one stamp to pre-pay postage), New-York City. 
This advertisement struck us as very attractive 
—a “respectable and honorable business, and $60 
a month, and all expenses paid.” Why, very few 
men do as well as that. It is said that even 
some of the Presidents of this great country, 
with a salary of $25,000 a-year, have not saved 
$00 a month, after “ all expenses were paid.” 
Our hope was a little dampened by the clause 
“ may certainly be realized ;” but not discouraged 
in the anticipation of “ bettering our condition,” 
we got a friend t( make all needful inquiries, by 
letter, sending thi stamp, of course. In return, 
we received a lai je descriptive circular, which 
sets forth thatau “old ’’ doctor had retired from 
business, leaving in the hands of the advertiser a 
large edition of a book called “ The- 
which he would “ sell at any sacrifice.” lie will 
send them packed in wooden boxes, by express, 
to any part of the country. Orders must be ac¬ 
companied by cash. They will he sold very low 
to agents. If anybody sells these fast enough he 
can clear “ $60 a month and all expenses.” 
Three closely printed columns in the large circu¬ 
lar are taken up with descriptions of the wonder¬ 
ful hook, which, according to the account given, 
teaches how to do everything possible and im¬ 
possible, that has ever been thought of. We 
quote : “ It teaches how to cure all diseases of 
the Human Race; to charm wild animals—your 
enemies, the perils of fire and water, your future 
wife or husband ; how to court an American or 
French woman, a red-haired ditto., an Irish ditto., 
a Quakeress ditto.,” in short, every species of the 
genus homo of the feminine gender. “ It teaches 
how to cure all diseases of the human race ; how 
to live two hundred years; how to cure stam¬ 
mering, drunkenness, squinting and laziness! 
how to cause rain, thunder and lightning; how 
to discover treasures underground ; how to make 
a fowl roast himself; how to kiss all sorts of 
women !” and so on to the end of the chapter. 
There is scarcely a human desire which cannot 
be gratified by following the directions of this 
wonderful book. We must have it, Mr.-; 
send one of your agents this way, quick. We 
don’t like to trust our money to the hazardous 
mails—nor to you. 
[No. 2 
A YEAR.—Wanted, an Active, 
*-> * ^ v” Honest man, in every county in the States, to tra¬ 
vel and canvass for the --, a beautifully 
illustrated monthly journal. To suitable, active men, a salary 
ol §500 per year and a small commission will be paid. Address 
-, Publisher,-N. Y. 
Good again, but not so good as No. 1. Plere is 
only $500 a year, and nothing said about “ ex¬ 
penses.” But the “ small commission ” may pay 
these, and the $500 a year “ salary” is better than 
Pike’s Peak. But how were our hopes blighted. 
Our letter, promptly posted, was too late ! The 
advertiser had already got his full quota of “sala¬ 
ried agents ” all secured, (what a lot of them— 
one in every county in the United States !) and 
he had no “ salary ” for us. But, being in one of 
his kind moods, he would give us a commission 
on subscribers, and we might make ever so much 
money. The copies of the paper sent us are of 
such a character as no decent man would admit 
into his family; but what of that! It’s money 
we are after, and if people will pay, what’s that 
to us! We must have an agency. But hold! 
every county is already supplied with a “ salaried 
agent,” with whom we shall come into competi¬ 
tion. That won’t do ; let us try 
[No. 3.] 
This is from Rev. Wilson, (no matter where 
he lives). He offers a cure for consumption, for 
a postage stamp. This is cheap, and though we 
hope we are not consumptive, we know some 
who are, and what a world of good we may do, 
by having an infallible cufe. So here go two 
stamps, one to pay the postage on the other. 
We received in reply a very benevolent-toned 
letter, not quite like a clergyman, however, clos¬ 
ing with the hope that “ lie should hear from us 
soon and. often.” We are answering promptly 
as we can. But Mr. (Rev.) Wilson, we are more 
benevolent than even you are. We wont ask 
anybody to be at the trouble and expense of writ¬ 
ing to you or to us, so we will give your recipe, 
with full directions, just such as you sent to us, 
and of course, genuine : 
RECIPE FOR 
CONSUMPTION, ASTHMA, BRONCHITIS, SCROFULA, ETC. 
Extract Blodgetli... 3 ounces I Alantin [Pura.) .1 drachm 
Hgpophosphite ofLime'A ounce | Extract Cinchona. ...2 drachms 
Meconin {Pura) . % scruple I Loaf Sugar .1 pound 
Pure Port Wine . % pint . | Warm Water .1 quart. 
To prepare the above Recipe properly, all the powders and ex¬ 
tracts should be thoroughly compounded and mixed well to¬ 
gether, and placed in a vessel or botile holding ai least three 
pints* then pour in the bottle about a half a pint of hot 
water, and snake well,which will turn the whole a bright 
red color. Let it stand a few moments, then add the 
other pint and a half of hot water with the sugar 
dissolved in it; also add the wine, (or. it you have 
not wine, rum or Holland gin will do ) Shake 
well, and when cold it is ready for use. Dose— 
one large table-spoonful four times a day. 
Mr. (Rev.) Wilson tells us, ever so many times, 
in his long circular, that he has no “ mercenary 
motives,” don't want to make money, etc. Why, 
how will he pay for the large advertising ex¬ 
penses, if he has only th-e usual salary of a cler¬ 
gyman ! But perhaps lie has married a rich wife, 
and can afford it. He is eve-n more generou-s. 
He says the above mixture is difficult t-o make, 
and will cost any druggist from $2.25 t-o $3 per 
bottle, at least, but he will sell it for $2. Noble- 
hearted man ! We must have a bottle. [P. S.— 
Our druggist, a good one, says he could put up 
the prescription at less than $1, and male 
money at it, but he advises us not to touch it.I 
Disappointed again. Let us try 
[No. 4 ] 
MPT,0\ MENT.—$50 a Month.—A resi- 
Sclent AGENT is wanted in even- Town and County in the 
United States, to engag-e in a respec able and easy business by 
which the above pioti's may lie certainly realized, Address 
Dr.-——, No. —-, Jersey City, N. J. 
Good again. “ Respectable and easy business.” 
“ $500 a year certainly realized.” That suits us ; 
it is easy and certain , and no stamps wanted, only 
on our own letter. The only objection is that this 
“ Dr.” hails from Jersey Citv, where the “sands 
of one man's life” have been “running out’’for 
several years. But we’ll see.. .We got an answer, 
the gist of which is, that on remitting $9 we can 
have half a dozen of a wonderful balsam, quarter 
of a dozen wonderful pills, and quarter of a dozen 
of wonderful ointment, which will sell like hot 
cakes, for twice the cost, and wc are to be “ sole 
agents” in our vicinity. That’s splendid, only 
our vicinity is not large enough. Our next door 
neighbor is to be sole agent in his vicinity. We’ll 
think about the matter, ask our wife about it, and 
make further inquiries before sending our hard- 
earned $9 to Dr.-Humbug. 
[No. 5.] 
REGRET ART OF CATCHING Mink, 
K-J Muskrats, Rabbits, Skunks, Weasels, Coons, Otter, Foxes, 
Woodchucks, Squirrels, etc., in great quantities, with sport and 
profit, sent for 25 cts. Address-, Steuben Co., N. Y 
The above is an advertisement sent May 25th 
to the Agriculturist with $1 to pay for its inser¬ 
tion. A letter signed by a friend was immedi¬ 
ately mailed to the party offering the advertise¬ 
ment, and the 25 cents duly enclosed for the se¬ 
cret art. Up to June 16th no reply has come, so 
we can not judge of the character of the secret, 
and therefore can not earn the dollar by inserting 
the advertisement. We hold it subject to the 
order of the person sending it. We would return 
it at once, but our 25 cents seem to have been 
lost in going to Steuben County, and we are afraid 
to trust the large sum of one dollar, unless Mr. 
-, will send for it and agree to run ail risk. 
We don’t want this dollar, Mr.-, but we would 
like our 25 cents back, or that “ secret art.” We 
are in for “ sport ” in these warm days, especial¬ 
ly when we can have it with “profit ” as you say. 
(To be continued as needed.) 
Nursing Seeds into Life. 
The following, which we find in a foreign ex¬ 
change, is certainly a novel method of securing 
the germination of seeds ; it will perhaps be a 
useful hint to those who may receive rare seeds 
from a distance, and which, having been unfavor¬ 
ably exposed, are brought to sprout with difficul 
ty. The writer says: “I have vegetated seeds 
sent me from good hands who could do nothing 
with them, and where all other plans have failed, 
by enclosing them in a small piece of flannel 
soaked in a weak, warm solution of oxalic acid, 
and squeezed out nearly to dryness ; this is en¬ 
veloped in two or three folds o-f oiled silk, tied up 
and suspended by a string hung over the neck, so 
that the little packet may descend just to the pit 
of the stomach, where the heat of that part, in 
an incredibly short space of time induces germi- 
