YANKEE FARMING.—NO. 3. 
115 
YANKEE FARMING.—No. 3. 
Good people all of every sort, 
Give ear unto my song ; 
And if you find it wondrous short, 
It cannot hold you long.— 
The Mournful Soliloquies of Uncle Sim and Aunt 
Natiby over their Favorite Torn Turkey .—After the 
affair of the owl, and the unlucky killing of the fa¬ 
vorite cock turkey, I must confess I never saw a 
more dejected couple than Mr. and Mrs. Doolittle, 
it was in vain that their children, myself and wife, 
.-endeavored to make them forget their loss and turn 
their thoughts to other subjects; all we could say 
or do, they would not be comforted, but con¬ 
tinually recurred to the tragic event as something 
never to be forgotten. Every now and then, as he 
sat listlessly before the fire at evening, Uncle Sim 
could be heard to ejaculate, in a half-distracted tone, 
Wal, J never felt so down hearted afore !—I’m 
clean done up. The great, nice feller! How he 
.used to gobble, and strut, and puff! He was never 
■afraid o’ nothin’, if he had a bin, he’d a died away 
.with the owl—the tarnal critter ! What a dunder 
head, I couldn’t a let Bill fire the old queen’s arm 
instead o’ myself. 1 guess ye’ll never see me 
shoulder a gun agin. Oh ! Tommy, Tommy, Tom 
—he know’d -well he was the pride o’ my heart;” 
and again he repeated, “ how he would gob¬ 
ble, and strut, and puff!” Then he drew a long 
breath and sighed, cocked up one eye, and looked 
.so hard into the fire with the other, that it seemed 
ms if it -were about to start from its socket. 
As for Aunt Nabby, for a perfect wonder, she 
was more brief in her expressions, though not less 
tender or regretful. With her it was “ orful suz— 
know’d anybody ever the like—ony think, now, 
that darlin’ duck o’ a turkey to fall dead”—for she 
was too tender of the feelings of her husband to use 
the reproachful words, u to be shot”—“ and the 
.pesky owl to fly clean off without a scratch ! Oh ! 
massy, Miss Teltrue,” turning to my wife and wip¬ 
ing the tears from her eyes—warn’t he a grand, 
bold feller 1—If he had’nt a bin, wouldn’t he a flied 
too Thus repeating the comforting idea of her 
husband, that “ Tom,” as the turkey was familiarly 
called, died bravely. 
Unde Sim Starts with us in Search of Poultry for 
Molly. —I had been at first disposed to laugh at the 
mishap of my neighbor, and look upon it as a good 
joke ; but when I found he was taking it so seri¬ 
ously, I held a council with my wife and Molly, 
and we agreed to get Uncle Sim out on an excur¬ 
sion as far as a neighboring seaport, with the 
ostensible view of purchasing the former some pul¬ 
lets to recruit her stock, though really hoping to 
find some buff turkies, which would take the place 
in the affections of her parents of those so recently 
lost. Uncle Sim was always glad of an opportu¬ 
nity to oblige Molly; but as his old mare was 
heavy with foal, and of course could not travel 
well, I volunteered to call for them the next morn¬ 
ing, with my fast-trotting, sturdy Canadian and 
sleigh, to make the excursion. 
Our Adventures thereupon. —We were off in 
good time, and had not proceeded far, before the 
keen, bracing air, the spirited action of my horse, 
the merry jingling of the bells, the smooth, rapid 
gliding of the sleigh and the varied objects we met 
along the road, began to tell on the melancholy stu¬ 
por of Uncle Sim, when we fortunately overtook a 
party of young people in half a dozen single sleighs, 
out on an excursion of pleasure. I soon found 
that it chafed my horse to follow them at their 
moderate pace, and accordingly reigned him out of 
the beaten path to pass them. Discovering this, 
the young men of the party all shouted to 
each other to whip up and prevent us. Instantly 
my high-spirited horse seized the bit firmly between 
his teeth, which left me no power over his mouth 
to hold him; and with a muscular force and ra¬ 
pidity of motion, that I did not dream he possessed, 
he covered us with a shower of snow from his 
heels : and in less time than I have written this sen¬ 
tence, he let go the bit, and we found him mov¬ 
ing quietly again, though still rapidly, along the 
hard-trod snow path, considerably ahead of the dis- 
comfitted young party. 
After rubbing his eyes with astonishment, and 
brushing the snow from his person, Uncle Sim’s 
face brightened up with a triumphant smile, which 
did Moliy and myself a world of good to see, at 
the same time exclaiming, u Wal, Sargeant, if 
he didn’t go then! Why, I thought he’d a buried 
us in the snow, and we should be cornin’ out o’ 
t’other side o’ the airth afore we knowed it. He’d 
a beat that ’ere feller’s boss now all to fits, that they 
tell on in Varmount, that was so smart, a streak c 1 
lightnin’ chased him all round the pasture three 
times and couldn’t catch him. You’d best trade 
him to the telegraph men as sure to heat ’em !” 
He was so tickled with this conceit that he 
could contain himself no longer, and burst into a 
loud laugh ; and as the sieigh at that moment took 
a sudden lurch, he lost his balance, and would have 
pitched heels over head into a snow bank, had I 
not caught him by the cape of his overcoat and held 
him in. At this, he sobered down a little, but I 
gladly saw that his melancholy fit was broken, 
and for the rest of the way we kept up a cheerful 
and improving talk. 
As for Molly, nestling in a low seat at our feet, 
and nearly hid from view by a large buffalo robe, 
her eyes sparkled like frosty diamonds floating 
in the buoyant air, declaring it was the first 
good sleigh ride she had had that winter, and seemed 
quite beside herself with delight. 
Sisters Lizzy and Sally , and their Poultry .—The 
first place we stopped at was a large farmery, 
the property of two old maids, well known, the 
country over, as Sister Lizzy and Sister Sally. 
They were the sole survivors of a family of three 
sons and five daughters, notone of whom had mar¬ 
ried. As one died after another, they left their 
share of the estate to the survivors; and thus these 
two old ladies had become quite rich. But the 
addition of great wealth did not change their primi¬ 
tive habits, nor alter their singular notions. Here 
they lived as their ancestors had before them; the 
same house; the same furniture : and even the 
same dress—a high cap, short loose gown, thick, 
quilted petticoats, with large pockets dangling at 
each side, yarn stockings, and high-heeled, buckled 
shoes. But it would take three chapters, at least, 
to describe them, their stock, farm, and doings; so 
we will leave these matters to some more convenient 
period. 
