272 
YANKEE FARMING.—NO. 11. 
plement, however much it might facilitate labor 
or cheapen production. 
Mr. Doolittle’s illiberal tirade upon what my 
wife thought did not much concern him, roused 
her spunk a little, and like most women under 
similar circumstances, she was ready with a re¬ 
ply ; so she answered pleasantly, at the same 
time rather positively, that considering the su¬ 
perior manner in which the machines were 
made, she did not think the price so very dear; 
nor did she believe that either the manufacturer 
or trader made large profits on them; and if 
they did, it was of small consequence to her; 
she never considered such matters in her pur¬ 
chases ; the only question to her mind was, “ Is 
this a profitable investment for me?” Decide 
this in the affirmative, and she bought it unhes¬ 
itatingly. Now, it formerly took my husband 
and self about a fortnight, without these ma¬ 
chines, to accomplish what we have done in a 
single day with them; so, reckening our time at 
fair wages, they are already paid for. Besides, 
it is so much less irksome to work with them, 
and they turn out the sausages so much more 
perfectly that I am offered half a cent a pound 
more for them than if made by hand ; and recol¬ 
lect, Mr. Doolittle, this is only one season’s per¬ 
formance. Now they will last several years, so 
that I reckon they will earn at least, five times 
their cost before we wear them out; thus, after 
all I think you will allow that I have made a 
good investment. 
“ Wal, may be as you say, Miss Teltrue,” re¬ 
plied Uncle Sim, quite subdued in his tone, and 
apparently mollified in his feelings, “ but you 
know the old sayin’, 4 stick to your parish church 
though your parson is a blockhead;’ which I 
spose is as much as meanin,’ duas your fathers 
have done afore you, for changes is’nt agreeable ; 
howsomdever, we du change.” “ Yes,” replied 1, 
44 witness your well-drained meadow last fall.”* 
44 Oh, Sargeant, that’s nothin.” But he was appa¬ 
rently highly pleased with my allusion, and 
proceded. 44 Wal, we du change sometimes, for 
good reason and profit; and if pork was on’y 
worth a shillin’a pound now, as it used to be,sas- 
enger machines might do; but when its hard sel- 
lin’ at sixpence, or at most sevenpence, it’s quite 
another affair, as the man says in the spellin’ 
book, when he found it was his bull gored his 
neighbor’s ox, instead of his neighbor’s bull gor¬ 
in’ hizzen. Wal, arter all, prehaps I’m wrong 
in my notions; what’s done cheap is sometimes 
the dearest; the penny is well spent that saves 
ten; and ’tis more trouble to du ill, than to du well.” 
How many more proverbs Uncle Sim would 
have quoted, if suffered to go on, it is impossible 
for me to say, for his head seemed to be full of 
them, ready to be brought out upon all occa¬ 
sions ; but Aunt Nab by had kept her tongue with 
great impatience till this moment, when seeing 
her husband becoming a little penitent, and 
somewhat more diffident in the dogmatic opin¬ 
ions, just expressed, she commenced with a 
volubility which I must confess I had rarely 
heard even her equal. 
44 Sartin true, Mr. Doolittle; but bull meat isn’t 
pig meat, no, nor ox meat nother; though it 
makes good mince, it ain’t no account in sassen- 
gers. Wal, won’t this ’ere cutter do the mince 
meat as slick as the sassenger? And you be 
purty fond o’ mince pies as well as sassengers, 
and the boys don’t like ’em scace, I guess 
nother,” she added, coaxingly playing her hand 
on his shoulder ; 44 and fifteen dollars! Oh, my! 
It’s a purty big sum that’s sartin ; but don’t for- 
git the little tiny pig that could’nt keep up to 
the tothers when he was a suckin’, and pined 
away, and got so weak he could’nt stand, he did. 
And would’nt he a died if I and Molly had’nt a 
saved him? Yes,sir-ee. Now answer me that, 
Mr. Doolittle, as you are a livin’ man. And if 
we had’nt a saved him, and brought him up by 
hand, on sour buttermilk and biled tater parins, 
and house slops, and sich kind o’ truck that 
aint nothin’ except to waste, and would a bin 
thrown away, prehaps.” But Aunt Nabby was 
too economical a housewife to do this in any 
event; she only wanted an argument to help out 
her case. 44 Wal, din’nt I and Molly do all this, 
I say, and more tu? And aint the little pig the 
biggest and fattest shoat now, this very day, of 
any in the pen? And won’t the storekeeper 
give more for him than the sassenger cutter and 
stuffer will all come tu, and a nice new hat for 
yourself into the bargain, Mr. Doolittle, to go to 
sister Suzy’s weddin’, that is to be next new- 
year’s day a cornin’? And ef we on’y had the 
machines, I and Molly could cut all the meat 
and stuff the sassengers in a jiffin, and have 
plenty o’ time to make our bran new gowns for 
the weddin’, tu, without the mantermaker’s help, 
which will also be a considerable savin’; 
and Miss Teltrue, as you heered her, says the 
sassengers look so much nicer, she is offered 
half a cent extra a pound for ’em- Wal, now 
let’s cal’late.” And so Aunt Nabby commenced 
upon her fingers. 44 Wal, there’s the big shoat— 
I mean the tiny pig that was—and a week’s 
wages of the mantermaker saved, and the half 
cent more on the sassengers ”— 
44 Jest you whist a bit now, mammy, won’t you.” 
said Uncle Sim, half coaxing and half peevishly, 
44 and let somebody else put in a word, as the 
big cart said to the little creaking wagon; I 
never seed sich a tongue as yourn in all my 
born days ; 4 but as the bell is so is the clapper 
and ef you don’t ding dong it fast enuf for your 
side of the argument, then Ihain’t no knowledge 
o’ a controvarsy. Wal, I ain’t goin to dispute 
your cal’lation, nor Miss Teltrue’s nother; I’ve 
cyphered tu fur in ’rethmetic for all that; 
and may be as you say, mammy, ’tis a matter o’ 
economy to get the sassenger machines; but 
then, there is sich a thing as goin’ tu fast; and 
there’s so many shickle shackles about the 
country that don’t prove all they’ve bin cracked 
up to be by a long chalk, that I’ve got kind a 
skeary—‘Hail Columbyl’ Howsomedever, as 
the Dutchman said , 4 all things is possible; and 
a pig may larn to whistle, on’y he’s a plamed 
ugly mout for it.’ ” At this grotesque idea of 
a pig’s whistling, we all burst out laughing, 
which so tickled Uncle Sim, that he slapped 
*3e© vol. viii., p. 01. 
