PROCEEDINGS. 
561 
Presbyterian pandects, H. George’s mistakes; 
Free-silver statistics and boarding-house cakes; 
And conjured with photos of chorus-girl witches, 
And Vinnie Ream’s Lincoln and Washington’s breeches. 
Our land twelve years ago was saved from scission, 
And so was Hayes, by forming a Commission. 
So, too, a Joint Commission of societies 
Saved science and restored the lost proprieties. 
Though representatives, we ’re not those Reps 
Who swear and spar around the Speaker’s steps, 
Nor yet a Senate, or at least that body 
Made up of dollars, terrapin, and toddy. 
What though our formal dinner may be horrid, 
The soup be frigid and the salad torrid, 
Though then your palate gets not full fruition, 
You have some pabulum in your Commission ; 
We ’re fit to eat,—if doubting, only try it— 
Our body’s in a double sense your Diet! 
Rathbun is safe for farinaceous food— 
We’ll surely get some very Brown and Goode ! 
Gannett—though not a goose—our taste will whet 
As rich a dish as Hayden Ever-et! 
Fresh vegetals will surely store our cupboard, 
While we can boast a Gardiner in Hubbard. 
Since water’s Riley now, we turn with glee 
Where simmers Mason labelled as 0 Tea. 
But never fear our throats becoming gluey, 
We can’t be dry while always getting Dewey. 
Wiley our ways, yet in a careful guard 
We’ll hold the fort with dynamics and Ward 
And lots of ordnance deadlier far than guns— 
Our Clarke’s a patent mitrailleuse of puns; 
Or if we need to try a sharper hit, 
Fletcher provides exhaustless darts of wit. 
“ Fear boys with bugs,” says Shakspeare, but our Howard 
With bugs can fright a man who ’s not a coward. 
# From our high teachings we must never fall, 
Not only mendin’ some, but Menden(h)all! 
For this grand quest all we High Joints embark us, 
So let our Secretary, Baker, Mark-us! 
For The Presidents of the Philosophical Society, J. W. Powell 
responded and prophesied that new societies would be formed 
in Washington, and that ultimately all the scientific societies 
would be united and form a confederacy. 
