HEAD GROOMS, AND GROOMS IN GENERAL. 565 
Pembroke’s—“ Whoever lets his groom or coachman, in consider¬ 
ation of his having swept the dung out of his stables for a greater 
or less number of years, ever even mention any thing more than 
water-gruel, a clyster, or a little bleeding, and that too very seldom, 
or pretend to talk of the nature of feet, the seat of lameness, sick¬ 
ness, or their cures, may be very certain to find himself very shortly 
quiet on the foot, especially as to shoeing.” You will see the poor 
shoeing-smith tremble at his voice as he comes into the stable. It 
is, “ Jack” or “ Bill, take a h—11 of a deal off that horse’s feet;” or, 
“ It’s that shoe is devilish too long or too short, or too heavy or too 
light.” It’s no matter how poor Bill tries to please him; he is 
never twice alike. Poor Bill is obliged to put up with all this ; 
and for why 1 Because Master Don of the Roller gives him, after 
a good cursing, a horn of his master’s beer. Alas, alas! how Father 
Matthew would treat this Master Plush; and so would poor Bill 
if it was not for the beer. I have myself seen poor smiths—for 
instance, in a village where the squire is petty king, and owns the 
whole of the freeholds—bound down to that degree, that if Master 
Hisser don’t like him, Master don’t like him either;—for why 1 
because poor Billy cannot afford to give him, the groom, discount; 
so Master Plush soon finds out that Lady Ann Goldstick or Robin 
Hood goes lame. The Squire says, “ How is this, that Robin Hood 
goes lame'!”—“Oh! I don’t know, unless he be lame from shoe¬ 
ing.” He forgets that he gave him a six-miler on the hard ground 
the day before. Oh, no! poor Vulcan carries it all. Then the Squire 
says, “ You must seek for some one else to shoe the horses; I 
must not have them lamed.” Now, here is a chance for Plush 
and the discount: he applies to some far-famed shoer—probably 
famed for giving discounts—and so attains his end; and poor Billy 
is only allowed to make dung pickers, &c., for the establishment 
any longer; and this is all through Mr. Plush. 
And now for their veterinary knowledge. If a groom can give 
a ball and bleed a horse he is considered competent to treat for 
lameness and sickness—giving a ball, indeed, is about the extent 
of the groom’s abilities in the physicking line, the proper prepa¬ 
ration of a horse for it being much beyond the stretch of his intel¬ 
lect. 
If a horse is difficult to purge, instead of lengthening the period 
of his preparation, they want an increase of aloes, until we have 
seen a poor brute with near a dozen drachms of aloes in his guts. In 
these cases they always swear the aloes is “ bad,” or something 
like this; any thing but their bad management is in fault. Some 
of them are fit for nothing but inventing excuses; and uncommonly 
quick and clever they are at saddling the veterinary surgeon with 
blame, if he does not allow them discount. Now, let any gentle- 
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