NORTHERN EMPIRICISM. 
531 
future learning a profession in which they may be done by 
opposition,—after years of toil and expense in learning a 
business that can be successfully followed by any ignorant 
blockhead, if he has only the impudence and show of impor¬ 
tance to commence gulling the public. Just raise a cry that 
he is clever, and he will soon get plenty of gulls. We have 
long had a human-practice guller; and can furnish the pub¬ 
lic with a quack in the shape of a Cabbage Doctor , w T ho has 
made a discovery : betting all veterinary surgeons that “He 
can cure disease” Your readers will, perhaps, not know what 
this disease is, or who this Cabbage Doctor is: but be not 
surprised; the disease is what has beaten most of them to 
cure in all cases : it is no less than pleuropneumonia ! and our 
Cabbage Doctor is no less a personage than Mr. R. Wallace, 
a market gardener here. 
Something more than twelve months ago, he had a cow 
seized with inflammation of the lungs. I attended her, and had 
her placed in an out-house, for free air. But his old mother 
and myself could not agree about the treatment. Every 
time I called she had every crevice stopped up, and the 
cow’s head and throat wrapped up with warm blankets, 
giving her own medicine to the animal. Under these cir¬ 
cumstances, I left her to do as she pleased. She however 
did not manage to mend the case. The cow died, and was 
sent to the Duke of Buccleuch’s kennel to feed the dogs. 
Down, however, went Richard to make a post-mortem 
examination, and he at once discovered cause, effect, and 
cure. So he now professes to cure the disease ’at is. He 
kens the property of medicine; he kens how mukle to gie ’at 
is; he can gie loudnaum ’at is; and he can cure all he tries 
’at is; only if they are no ower lang o’ sending for him at ’is. 
Such are the professions of this quack of a Cow Doctor , for 
he does not attempt horses yet,—he has not seen the inside 
of one at present; or, perhaps he is afraid of being kicked. 
However, such is the gullibility of the public, that he is 
actually sent for to attend the cows of some farmers,—even 
of our own Baillie,—or, at least, some of his servants have 
sent for him; and he is this week practising in Edinburgh. 
Some short time ago he got up a drunken squad for a night’s 
jollification in an inn, when he was said to have been pre¬ 
sented with a silver snuff-box for his great abilities in curing 
pleuro ! His farmer friend, who first made him believe, or 
rather sounded his praise, has drunk himself into the bank¬ 
rupt’s list; and, unless it was his he cured, (which I know 
nothing about,) he has never cured one here that I have 
heard of. Yesterday, I am informed, four died under his 
