MOOllE’S RURAL TvEW-YORKER: ATs AGRICULTURAL AND FAMILY JOURNAL. 
MISS MAC BEIDE. 
BY JOHN G. SAXE. 
O, terribly proud was Miss Mac Bride, 
Proud of her beauty, and proud of her pride, 
And proud of fifty matters beside 
'i'hat wouldn’t have borne dissection; 
Proud of her wit, and proud of her walk. 
Proud of her teeth, and proud of her talk. 
Proud of “ knowing cheese from chalk,” 
On a very slight inspection !— 
Proud abroad, and proud at home. 
Proud wherever she chanced to come,— 
When she was glad, and when she was glum; 
Proud as the head of a Saracen 
Over the door of a tippling shop !— 
Proud as a duchess, proud ns a fop, 
" Proud as a boy with a bran new top,” 
Proud beyond comparison! 
It seems a singular thing to say, 
But her very senses led her astray 
Respecting all humility; 
In sooth, her dull, auricular drum 
Could find in Humble only a “ hum,” 
And heard no sound of “ gentle” come. 
In talking aljout gentility. 
Wliat Lowly meant she didn’t know. 
For she always avoided “ every thing low,” 
With care the most punctilious, 
A.nd queerer still, the audible sound 
Of “super-silly” she never had found 
In the adjective supercilious ! 
LABOR. 
Labor is health! lo ! the husbandman reaping 
How through his veins goes the life current leaping! 
How his strong arm, in its stalwart pride sweeping. 
True as a sunbeam the swift sickle guides ! 
Ijibor is wealth ! In the sea the pearl gloweth. 
Rich the queen’s robe from the frail cocoon floweth. 
From the small acorn the broad forest bloweth, 
Temple and statue the marble block hides. 
Droop not, though shame, sin, and anguish, are 
round thee. 
Bravely fling ofl’thc cold chain that hath bound thee. 
Look to yon pure Heaven smiling beyond thee, 
Rost not content in thy darkness, a clod! 
Work for some good, be it ever so slowly ! 
Cherish some flower, be it ever so lowly ! 
Labor, all labor, is noble and holy— 
lAit thy good deeds be thy prayer to thy God ! 
IMMORTALITY. 
It must be so: Plato, thou roasonest well: 
Else whence this pleasing hope, this fond desire. 
This longing after immortality ? 
Or whence this secret dread, and inward horror. 
Of falling into nought? Why shrinks the soul 
Back on herself, and startles at destruction ? 
’ Tis the divinity that stirs within us; 
’ Tis heaven itself that points out an hereafter. 
And intimates eternity to man. 
[Addiso7t's Cato. 
littniri] nnb JiiiactlliiiROUs. 
THE CANVASS BAG; AND WHAT WAS IN IT. 
A YOUNG cabinet maker was on his way- 
home from his daily labors, one evening a 
few years ago, in a .southern city, and as he 
was about to turn the last corner before he 
reached his humble dwelling, the hand of 
a stranger was phiced on his shoulder, and 
a low voice almost whispered in his ear; 
“Wliich way, Matthew? ” 
’rite mechcinic turned quickly, for the 
voice sounded queerly, and startled him. It 
was getting quite dark, the streets were 
lonely and still, and it was a singular saluta¬ 
tion; the face of the man who accosted 
liim he had never seen, and thought he no¬ 
ticed a few paces behind him another per¬ 
son who seemingly awaited the first one. — 
He replied that he Wtis on his way home for 
the night 
“ Matthew, are j^ou a cabinet maker ? ” 
“ Yes,” was the answer. 
“Are you not overstocked Avith em¬ 
ployment ? ” 
“No — no,” said Matthew, hesitatingly. 
“ I have a job for -7011, if -you like it.” 
“ When ? ” 
“ To-night.” 
“ Now ? ” 
“ This very night” 
“W'here?” 
“That is of no consequence. Accom¬ 
pany me to the end of the street, Avhere a 
carriage awaits us, enter it submit to be 
taken whither I Avill, perform the service I 
recpiire, and ere daylight shall dawn, }^ou 
may return one hundred dollars richer than 
you now are.” 
“ Hut the service, what is it ? ” 
“ Ask me no question.s. Will you have 
the money ? ” 
Matthew reflected; he was veiy poor; 
he consented. 
“ Go on, I will follow you.” 
“ Enough,” replied the stranger, and 
MatthcAv Farran instantly^ fell behind the 
man, who led the tvay in a direction directly 
opposite to that which pointed to his otvn 
domicil. 
Arriving at the end of the street, the 
second stranger joined them, the trio entered 
the carrifige which stood waiting. MatthcAV 
suftered himself to-be blindfolded, and the 
vehicle rolled away rapidly, the cabinet ma¬ 
ker knew not Avhere. The pavement was 
left behind, the vehicle emerged upon a 
soft road, and at the end of nearly half an 
hour, it halted, ascended a steep hill, appa¬ 
rently, and then stopped altogether. 
The steps were let doAvn, the inmates 
alighted, one of the party ac-costed the dri¬ 
ver with, “])rom])tly at four o’clock,” and 
MattiiCAv heard the A'ehicle turn from the 
door agiiin. 'I'liey entered, passed through 
a long hall, up a flight of stairs, across a 
narrow passage and then down a-half a 
dozen steps, then after Avinding through 
several apartments, they descened once 
more, and finally entered a room Avhere 
they came to a stand. The door Avas closed 
locked and barred on the inside, and the 
bandage Avas removed from MattheAv’s face. 
He Avas not a little alarmed to find himself 
in total darkness, Avhile liis arms were be¬ 
ing held by men evidently on each side of 
him. The silence Avas suddenly broken, hoAv- 
ever, by the voice Avhich he recognized as 
that of the man Avho accosted him origi¬ 
nally in the street 
“Now, ^MattheAv Farrcn,” said the speaker, 
“you have agreed to perform all the ser¬ 
vice I claim at your hands, and for Avhich 
you Avill receive the sum of one hundred 
dollai*s. Before you begin yo-ui- Avork you 
must SAvear to be faithful, to preserve the 
matter as a secret.” 
MattheAv promised — for he found that 
the tempting offer of an hundred dollars for 
a single night’s Avork, had draAvn him into 
a position from Avhich he Avould gladly es¬ 
cape. But it Avas too late to retract Mat¬ 
theAv’s promised secrecy, and a moment af- 
TerAvards a light Avas struck, and the mechan¬ 
ic beheld on either side of him an entire 
stranger, so far jis form or appearance Avent, 
in spite of their seeming familiarity Avith his 
name and profession. Each man held a 
glittering pistol in his hand, and in the 
corner, and the farther extremity of the de¬ 
partment, the cabinet maker saAv a pile of 
rubbish, lumber, tools, bricks, &c., and also 
what seemed a large canv^ASs bag, filled Avith 
he kneAv not what 
“ You see, MatheAv,” continued his guide 
“ Ave are prepared for emergencies. Noaa', 
proceed to business. Here arc materials 
and tools in profusion. In the bag yonder 
is enclosed a human body ! ” 
“ A Avhat ? ” 
“Hush, man! and remember your promise. 
In that bag lies enveloped a human form.” 
“ Is he dead ? ” asked MatthcAV, wildly. 
“ — sh! You are to ask no questions. 
Make a box from the lumber yonder, de¬ 
posit the body in it, and-thefi you must bear 
it to the river, close by.” 
“ I can’t — I-” 
“ You must,” continued the othei’, cock¬ 
ing his pistol, and placing the muzzle of it 
close to MathcAv’s cheek, “ or you must join 
him, and Ave Avill box you up together! — 
What do you say ? ” 
“ I obey,” muttered poor Farran sub¬ 
missively. 
“ Here is your hundred dollars. In tAvo 
hours Ave shall return — when all must be 
in readiness;” and the masked villains left 
their victim alone to perform his work. — 
The door Avas locked behind them, and 
MatthcAv at once suiweyed the premises. 
In vain did he search for egress. He 
reflected that he Avas in the hands of des¬ 
perate men — and in self-defence he at 
last commenced his frightful job, Avhich he 
linally bethought him Avere best done 
quickly, since it must be done at all. He 
drcAV forth a board, glanced at the long 
naiTOAV bag, shuddered a moment, and then 
commenced. Scarcely had he placed tho 
saAv on tho edge of the lumber, Avhen he 
thought he heard his name mentioned. 
The mechanic faltered, the perspiration 
coursed doAvn his cheeks, he listened, he 
halted — for he plainly heard a Avhisper — 
a loAv stifled, cautioits Avhisper—“MatthcAv! 
hist! Matthew Farran,” and the saAv fell 
from the mechanic’s hand, as he gazed 
Avildly about him, utterly at a loss to com¬ 
prehend the matter. 
“ MatthcAA', come here, hero! ” continued 
that fearful Avhisper again, and Farran ap¬ 
proached the corner Avliere laid the canvass 
bag, though the sAveat rolled from his fore- 
head, his knees tottered, and his breath 
had Avell nigh deserted him. 
“In God’s name! What—Avhere—Avho 
speaks? ” 
“ Me, MatthoAA', me; here in the bag — 
hist! ” MatthoAv approached a little nearer, 
and finally his Avits, Avhich had momenhirily 
deserted him, returned, and he saAv how it 
must be. The A-illains, Avhoever they Avero, 
had attempted a murder, he thought, and 
had not succeeded. But he had little time 
for reflection. 
“ Rip open the bag, MatthoAV'-. My hands 
are tied, rip it open, and I’ll help you make 
the box quick! MatthcAv, there’s no time 
to lose, quick!” and Farran A’eiy quickly 
applied the chisel to the seams, and had 
the satisfiiction of seeing a live jnan jump 
from the bag, Avho instantly explained 
matters. 
“ They have mistaken me for an enemy. 
They are river pirates, I think, and believe 
that they have suffocated me to-night, three 
hours ago. They have employed you to 
throAv me into the river.” 
“ Where did it happen ? ” 
“Here in this A^ery room. See — the 
charcoal furnace. They stunned me, sewed 
me in this bag, threw me upon my face, 
lighted the charcoal — there, don’t you 
smell it ? ” 
MattheAV had been temporarily deprived 
of his soises, generally, and he didn’t smell 
anything at all. 
“ They b(“lieA'c me dead, MalthcAv; for 
Avhen they returned, they attempted to lift 
me; but there’s a crack in the floor, you 
see, through which I breathed, and my 
limbs Avere stiffened for the occasion, as 
they tried to raise me up. Noav they Avish 
to cover up their tracks, don’t you see ? ” 
“ Y"es. Well, Avhat next.” 
“ Go to Avork — keep saAAung and ham¬ 
mering— make the box—put plenty of 
air holes in it — you shall nfiil it up, (not 
over carefully, you knoAV,) and then you can 
throAv it into the rwer, as they desire. It 
Avill all come right Where do you live 
MattheAv ? ” 
“Me? Where — lives!” muttered Far¬ 
ran, not knoAving Avhether he Avas talking to 
a phantom or not, after all. 
“ Yes, Avhere do you reside ? ” 
“Oh! yes—in C-.street” 
“ The number ? ” 
“ TAA'enty-seven.” 
“ On the right ? ” 
‘^No — left, yes, on the right I mean. ” 
“What time do you breakfast? ” 
“ At seven,” said MatthcAv, sloAvly. 
“ Go on, then — huriy, MattheAv. Fin¬ 
ish the box — don’t nail it strong, you knoAv 
—throAV it into the river — and I’ll break- 
fiist with you at 7 o’clock in the morning.” 
MattheAv did huriy, the box Avas finished, 
and the dead man got in it. Matthew 
nailed on the top, carelessly — and in ten 
minutes afterAvard his employers entered, 
ai-med to the teeth, and beheld the empty 
bag on the floor. 
“ Is it done,” asked the foremost. 
“ The terrible job is completed,” respond¬ 
ed MattheAv Avith a deep drawn sigh. 
Good! Noa\% MatthcAV—up with it! 
and Farran shouldered the box, which he 
did not find very heavy, and the tAVO scoun¬ 
drels led the Avay to the river. A splash 
Avas heard, the night (or rather early in the 
morning) Avas excessively dark, and the two 
employers and their su])posed victim enter¬ 
ed a carriage near by, at the same time 
that the dead man (having forced offf the 
top of the box) Avas climbing up the river’s 
bank veiy comfortably — except so far as an 
inA'olunhuy cold bath Avas concerned. 
MattheAv Avas left at the same corner he 
Avas taken from, an hour before day-light, 
and proceeded rapidly home; his alarmed 
family Avere quickly comfoi-tcd Avith the brief 
explanation he vouchsafed on his arrival. 
At seven o’clock a carriage halted be¬ 
fore his door, and there stepped out from it 
a gentlemanly looking, Avell dressed man, 
Avho Avas soon inside the mechanic’s humble 
dwelling. It Avas the Avhilom occupant of 
the canvass bag! 
He ilid breakfast Avith him, and when he 
left him, an hour afterAvard, he placed in his 
hand a roll of bank notes. 
“ You saved my life, MatthcAv Farran,” he 
said; “ I have my OAvn reason for not discov¬ 
ering myself to you. We shall never meet 
again, probably, for I shall l(*ave these parts 
at once. They gave you one hundred dol¬ 
lars to bury me, here are Jive hundred more 
for the excellent manner in which you per¬ 
formed tlie serv^iccC You are a cabinet ma¬ 
ker I think, MatthcAv?” 
“Y’’es, sir, at your service.” 
“ And Avell have you seiwed me, Matthew. 
I shall commend you to my friends. Good 
morning,” continued the strangxir, Avhom 
MattheAv never saAv from that moment. 
Who tho scoundrels were that employed 
him at so liberal a price to do the business, 
he never ascerbiined. He made six hun¬ 
dred dollars by the job — got frightened out 
of a year’s groAvth—but ncA'cr afterwards 
agreed to do a piece of Avork he did not 
knoAv the exact dehiils of, beforehand; for 
to the day of his death did he remember 
the Canvass Bag, and what icas in it. 
YANKEE UBIQUITY. 
The London Athenteum indulges in a bit 
of pleasantry over the ubiquitous qualities 
of the UniA’ersal Yankee ^’ation: 
“No land is too far — no nook too dark 
for their researchs. If a taste for copper 
should lead you to the bottom of a Cornish 
mine, there ■'vill be found one of the sov¬ 
ereigns of the Great Republic; should a 
cool morning tempt you to the top of the 
grand Pyramid, you Avill find Cousin Jon¬ 
athan astride the apex; the coasts of Sievah, 
the Dead Sea, the Chilian mountains, 
Beloochistan and Timbuctoo all knoAV his 
visits, and have heard of the glory of his 
native cities. Should the north-Avest passage 
ever be discovered, a Yankee will probably 
be found there setthng on a stranded ice¬ 
berg ; and some fine day Ave expect to hear 
that M. d’Abbadie has come upon a camp 
of Y'ankee Arabs pic-nicing at the sources 
of the Nile. The adventures, energies and 
poAvere of our cousin-german groAv quite 
alarming. ‘ Rough and Ready’ has extin¬ 
guished Bonaparte; the march of Colonel 
Doniphan into Ncav Mexico hcis put doAvn 
the retreat of the Ten I'lioustind; ‘ Madi’ 
has forever eclipsed Marco Paolo; Lieut. 
Wilkes has put doAvn — but Ave must take 
breath. Time and space fail us before such 
an enumeration. An American has said of 
his coiuitrymen, that the genuine Y'ankee 
AA'ould not be able to repose in heaven itself, 
if he could go farther Avestward. He must 
go ahead. Prophecy looks foi Avard to the 
time Avhen the valley of the Mississippi shall 
OA'erfloAV Avith this restless population, and 
Europe be subject to a ncAv migration. — 
‘ AVhat do I consider the boundaries of my 
country, sir,’ exclaimed a Kentuckian; ‘Avhy, 
sir, on the e;ist avo are bounded by the ri¬ 
sing sun — on the north by the aurora bor¬ 
ealis — on the Avest by the precession of 
the equinoxes, and on the south by the day 
of judgment! ’ ” 
BiraiDroua aiiii Hmusiiig. Cnriipr. 
BADGER ORATORY. 
The following oration Avas delivered some- 
Avhere in Wisconsin, by one of the profes¬ 
sion, Avho Avould seem to have quite an aver¬ 
sion to capital punishment: 
“ May it please your Lordship and Gen¬ 
tlemen of the Jury, — The case is fis cletu- 
as ice, and sharp to the point as ‘ no’ from 
your SAveetheart. The scripture saith, ‘ Thou 
shalt not kill; ’ noAv, if you hang my client 
you transgress the command as slick as 
grease, and as plump an a goose egg in a 
loafer’s face. Gentlemen, murder is mur¬ 
der, whether committed by twelve jurymen 
or by an humble individual, like my client. 
Gentlemen, I do not deny the fact of my 
client’s having kilkid a man ; but is that any 
reason why you should do so ? No such 
thing, gentlemen. You may bring the pris¬ 
oner in ‘ guilty’— the hangman may do his 
duty — but Avill that exhonerate you ? No 
such thing. In that case you Avill all be 
murderers! Who among you is prepared 
for the brand of Cain to be stamped upon 
his brow to-day ? Avho, freemen — aa Iio, in 
this land of liberty and light ? Gentlemen, 
I Avill pledge ni}’^ word not one of you has 
a bowie-knife or a pistol in his po(“ket. No, 
gentlem(?n, your pockets are odoriferous with 
the perfumes of cigar cases and tobacco.— 
You can smoke the tobacco of rectitude in 
the pipe of a peaceful conscience; but hang 
my unfortunate client, and the scaly alliga¬ 
tors of remorse Avill gallop through tin; in¬ 
ternal principles of animal veilebrio, until 
the spinal vertebra? of your anatomical con¬ 
struction is turned into a railroad for the 
grim and gory goblins of despair. Gentle¬ 
men, bcAvare of committing murder! — be- 
Avare, I say, of meddling Avith the internal 
prerogative! — beAvare, I say. Remember 
the fate of the man Avho attempted to steady 
the ark, and tremble. Gtintlemen, I abjure 
you by the manumitted ghost of temporal 
sanctity, to do no murder! I abjure you 
by the name of wotnan, the raain-.spring of 
the ticking time-piece of time’s theoretical 
transmigration, to do no murder! I abjure 
you by the love you have for the esculent 
and condimental gusto of our native pump¬ 
kin, to do no murder! I abjure you by the 
stai-s set in the flying ensign of our emanci¬ 
pated country, to do no murder! I abjure 
you by the American Eagle, that Avhipped 
the universal game cock of creation, and 
noAv sits roosting on tho magnetic telegraph 
of Time’s illustrious transmigration, to do 
no murder! And, lastly, gentlemen, if you 
ever expect to Avear long-hiiled coats — if 
you ever expect to Avear boots made of the 
free Jiide of the Rocky Mounhiin buffalo; 
and, lo sum up all, if you ever expect to be 
anything but a set of sneaking, loafing, ras¬ 
cally, cut-throated, braided small ends of 
humanity, Avhittlcd down to indistinctability, 
acquit my client, and save your country! ” 
The prisoner Avas acquitted! 
Too Busy to be Married.— A Ncav 
Y’’ ork correspondent of the Sun tells the 
folloAving stoiy:— 
“ On Friday last, a young and pretty 
Dutch girl entered the Marine Court, and 
requested one of the officials in attendance 
to inform her, ‘ If dat vas vere dey married 
do people ?’ Being told that it Avas, she 
looked smilingly iqion the officer, and hold¬ 
ing up her head as if impressed with the 
responsibility of her position, addressed him 
with,‘Vil you marry me den?’ ‘Marry 
you,’ said the offider, ‘ oh, I cauT do that, I 
have a Avife already.’ ‘ I don’t vant to be 
married to )'^ou, but I vant you to marry 
me,’ replied she. ‘ Oh! ah, that is a differ¬ 
ent case; but Avho do you Avant to be mar¬ 
ried to?’ ‘To Fritz, but he aa^isso busy he 
couldn’t come and said dat I mio-htffct it done.’ 
. /» • 0,0 
When informed that this marrying by jiroxy 
would not ansAver, the poor girl left, and the 
next day returned with f'ritz, Avho had man¬ 
aged to quit his Avork to get married, and 
the happy pair Avere made one by his honor, 
the Mayor.” 
A Sharp Retort.—T he folloAving, from 
an exchange paper, is the best hit that we 
have lately seen; “ Tavo old gentlemen of 
our acquaintance Avere complimenting each 
other on their habits of temperance. “Did 
you ever, neighbor,” said one, “ see me Avith 
more than I could ciu-ry ? ” “ No, indeed,” 
Avas the reply, “ not I, but I have seen you 
Avhen I thought you had bettew ha’/e gone 
tAvice after it.” 
Amiable Fokethouoht. — A “gentle¬ 
man,” advertising in the Waterford Mail for 
a Avife, says — “ It Avould be Avell if the 
lady Avere possessed of a competency suffi¬ 
cient to seem-e against the effects of exces¬ 
sive grief in case of accident occurring to 
her companion.” 
Re-Lying.— -At a dinner lately, this ques¬ 
tion Avas put to the gue.st.s — “ Which is the 
stronger, lie or truth ? ” After a moment’s 
consideration, a gentleman answered — 
“ 'J’ruth, for you may re-?y on it.” 
Chasing a Folly. — It is said that Bishop 
Chase, in a sermon, remarked once, “ that 
there Avere among his female auditors cor¬ 
set boards sufficient to shingle a hog pen.” 
The Arithmetical Question.s, Enigmas and other 
amusing trifles inserted in tliis department, will stand 
over two weeks to give the juveniles an opportunity 
to exercise their ingenuity, and time to answer.— 
All questions communicated for this corner must be 
accompanied by the answer, and ordinarily p. p.— 
We solicit contributions for this department, which, 
to those who have tact and leisure, prove useful and 
amusing. 
For the Rural New-Y’orker. 
ENIGMA. 
I am composed of 14 letters. 
My 1, 12, .3, 13, is a pronoun. 
My 2, 13, 7, 9, is part of a ship. 
My 3, 7, 5, 10, is an Island. 
My 4, 14, 7, is a bird. 
My .5, 10, 7, 9, is a fragrant plant. 
My 6, 8, 10, 9, is an ancient name. 
My 7, 6, 9, 5, is an animal. 
My 8, 4, 9, 3, is a term used in architecture. 
My 9, 4, 11,2, is an insect. 
My 10, 6, 3, is a beverage. 
My 11, 13, 6, is in common use. 
My 12, 6, 1, is an article of dress. 
My 13, 7, 10, 1, 3, is a term denoting joy. 
My 1^, 2, 13, 6, 11, is a kind of grain. 
My whole is the name of a distinguished philan¬ 
thropist. Ida. 
Answer in two weeks. 
QUESTIONS FOR SOLUTION. 
1. A druggist had a piece of lead which he 
divided in four parts, so as to weigh every pound 
from one to forty. How was it divided ? 
2. “I Avill consent to all you desire,” said a 
young female to her lover, “on condition that you 
give me what you have not, what you never can 
have, and yet you can give away.” What did 
she ask him for? 
Answer in two weeks. 
Answer to Enigma in our First Number. 
Moore’s Rural Neav-Yorker. 
Solutions — Maler, Oura, Olensk, Romano, 
Ems, Snow, Roanoke, Ulea, Rauen, Aurora, 
Lj'ons, Neuse, Elk, Wayne, Yellow, Ormus, 
Rosa, Kerman, Early, Ray. 
Answered by Esther Miller, (13 years of, age,) 
of Rochester, and N. R., of Greece. 
-Answer to Questions in our First Number. 
Ans}cer to Question No. 1. There are in a cubic 
foot of dry brick wall 27 bricks. In a foot, with a 
half inch of mortar between each and on the top, 
20| bricks. 
This question was answered by T. O., a boy 
of 13, in District No. 5; by A. C. N., of Gates, 
and C. C. H., of Appling. 
2. To strike an oval with a common pair of 
compasses, without moving the centre point. Take 
a round piece of v/ood or a small stove pipe, bend 
a piece of paper around it, and strike a circle on 
it; when talicn oft’ it wilt be an oval. Answered 
by J. T. M., of Penfield. 
3. To fill a square, round and triangular hole of 
two inches diameter. Take a round stick 2 inches 
in diameter, and saw it ofF 2 inches in length; 
make a wedge of it, and it fills all tliree holes.— 
Answered by T. B., of Rochester, and A. W. B., 
of BrockporL 
4. Figures do not lie—l-3d, l-4th, l-5th, 
l-6ih do not make a ichole, and that accounts for 
the three dollars left after division. Answered by 
C. C. 11., of Appling. 
MOOllE’S RURAL NEW-YORKER, 
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WHO WILL RECEIVE SODSCRIPTIONS, AND FURNISH COriB* 
or THE RURAL NEW-YORKER: 
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