MOORE’S RURAL NEW-YORKER: AN AGRICULTURAL AND FAMILY JOURNAL 
BISHOP WATSON’S MISTAKE IN GEOLOGY. 
Bishop Watson, after his marriage into 
the Dallam Tower family, was a constant 
visitor there, especially during the Univer¬ 
sity's long vacation. Whilst there, he used 
to ramble about the hills and dales with a 
hammer in his pocket, as the Sedgwicks 
and Bucklands do now-a-days, chipping any 
little pebble he stumbled over; probably to 
see whether it was the philosopher’s stone, 
or contained any appearances of that pre¬ 
cious metal which has been discovered in 
sucii v^uantities in California In one of 
these rambles it chanced that he got to the 
top of Helm Crag, not many miles from 
Kandal, and picked up a substance which 
he at once pronounced to be thrown from 
Hiltna or Vesuvius, or some volcanic cra¬ 
ter. On his way home he came, naturally 
enough to the conclusion (naturally we say, 
for what we wish we readily believe’,) that 
Helm Crag itself was an extinct volcano.— 
At the dinner table he produced this piece 
of lava as proof conclusive of his amazing 
discovery. The authority of a professor 
fresh from his laboratory, and still fresher 
from the University of Cambridge, could 
not be gainsayed; the gentlemen were too 
well bred, the ladies too gallant to attempt it. 
There was one man, however, within 
hearing, on whom all this excited but pity 
and a smile—the old family butler. Of 
course, he said nothing then, and Watson’s 
discovery was all in all; but on the follow¬ 
ing morning, finding the Doctor in the li¬ 
brary poring over the lava and taking 
notes, thinking probably that the honors 
of Dallam Tower were now at stake, and 
with the privilege of his order, administered 
to him this salutary information: —“ Dr. 
Watson excuse me, but I thought I heard 
you s&y at the table yesterday that Helm 
Crag was an extinct volcano. I do not 
know what an extinct volcano is, as I never 
saw one, but I do know that when I was a 
lad, my father and I had a blast furnace on 
Helm Crag, and that’s a piece of the cin¬ 
der from the very spot.” Facts are stub¬ 
born things; the Doctor looked aghast over 
his spectacles, put up his note-book, and 
with a gold guinea silenced, at least until 
the Doctor’s departure, the discovery of the 
Doctor’s ignorance. 
the hands of the minister, with the same 
whispered injunction. Deliberately the old 
man finished his sermon and prayer, then 
glancing his eye over the paper, he laid its 
contents before the people. It was a pres¬ 
sing requisition from Washington for more 
troops. He was daily expecting an attack 
from the combined forces of the enemy, and 
each town was called upon to furnish what 
aid it could. After a few apt and eloquent 
remarks on the critical situation of the be¬ 
loved chieftain, the worthy man continu¬ 
ed —" Let us not be too much cast down, 
my brethren. Our cause is that of truth 
and justice and righteousness; and, strong 
in these, we shall yet assuredly triumph. — 
This business is urgent, and I trust it will 
not be deemed derogatory to our Christian 
character, nor an infringement upon the 
holy Sabbath, if we take such measures as 
seem most pressing, to-day. Therefore, all 
who are willing to take their lives in their 
hands, and stand beside the Commander-in 
Chief, in this hour of trial, will, after the 
close of these services, please range tliera- 
selvee, in single file, on the village com¬ 
mon.” 
Then, with hands clasped and eyes raised 
towards Heaven, he took up the sublime in¬ 
vocation of David: 
“ Keep not Thy silence, 0 God! hold not 
Thy peace, and be not still! 
For, lo, mine enemies make a tumult, 
tliey that hate Thee have lifted up the head. 
They have taken crafty counsel against 
Thy people, and consulted against Thy hid¬ 
den ones. They have said. Come, let us 
cut them oflf from being a nation, that the 
name of Israel may be no more in remem¬ 
brance. 
Let them be confounded and troubled 
forever; yea, let them be put to shame and 
perish. 
That men may know that Thou,. whose 
name alone is Jehovah, art Most High over 
all the earth!” 
There was a silence for the space of some 
moments, and then to strains of old “ Mear,” 
full, clear and distinct, from all parts of the 
house, rose the words of the following 
“ Attempt the end, and never etand to doubt < 
NotbUig's BO hard, but search will find H out.’ 
A WITTY RETOBT, 
We were npt a little amused by the re¬ 
ply of a lady recently on a western steamer, 
to one who sought a laugh at her ex¬ 
pense. A group of ladies were seated on 
one of the guards of a steamer ploughing 
her way down the Mississippi, around one 
of the numerous bends, just where the pe- 
penal establishment of one of the States oc¬ 
cupies a prominent position on the opposite 
side of the point. After rounding the 
point, one of the ladies, pointing to the no¬ 
ble pile, inquired what it it was. 
“ That is the—penitentiary,” replied her 
companion. 
“ Indeed! ” continued the first speaker; 
why that is the place we have just come 
from”—alluding to having seen it before. 
“ Is it possible ? ” remarked a gentleman, 
sitting near, but not one of the party.— 
“ May I ask what were you in for ? ” 
“For eaves-dropping! ” promptly re¬ 
sponded the lady, “ and meddling with our 
neighbor’s business! ” 
The gentleman, fortunately, at that mo¬ 
ment, heard the invitation to “ step to the 
Captain’s office and set-t-l-e,” which he did 
amid a roar of laughter. 
i love the ladies—every one— 
The laughing ripe brunette, 
Thoee dark-eyed daughters of the sun. 
With tresses dark as jet; 
What raptures in their glances glow! 
Rich tints their cheeks disclose, 
And in the little dimples there 
Young smiling loves repose. 
I love the ladies—every one— 
The blondes so soft and fair, _ 
With looks so mild and languishing. 
And bright and golden hair. 
How lovely are their sylph-like forms. 
Their alabaster hue. 
And blushes far more beautiful 
Than rosebuds bathed in dew. 
1 love the ladies—every one— 
E’en those whose graceless forms 
Are rugged ns the oak that’s borne 
A hundred winters’ storms. 
The young, the old, the stout, the thjn, 
The short as well as tall— 
Widows and wives, matrons and raaids- 
O yes, I love them all. 
I love the ladies—every one— 
None but a wretch would flout ’em ; 
This world would be a lonely place 
If we were left without 'em. 
But lighted by a woman’s smile, 
Away all gloom i.s driven, 
And the most humble home appears 
Almost a little heaven. 
I love the ladies—every one— 
They’re angels nil, God bless 'em ! 
And what can greater pleasure give 
Than to comiort and caress ’em f 
I call myself a temperance man, 
So I’ll drink their health in water— 
Here’s to the mothers one and all, 
And to the mother’s daughter 1 
For the Kural New-Yorker. 
ENIGMA. 
I am composed of 24 letters. 
My 110 1213 144 25 is a P. O. in Suffolk Co,, N. Y. 
My 2 4 14 10 13 14 “ Bossier “ Mo. 
My 3 14 4 13 “ Erie “ N. Y. 
My 4 10 14 2 4 14 “ Armstrong '* Pa, 
My 512 2 12 13 12 6 “ Clinton ' ‘ N. Y- 
My 6 12 13 14 8 2 “ Onondaga " " 
My 7 819 3 “ Hamilton “ “ 
My 8 10 16 1213 “ Cattaraugus “ “ 
My 9 2 10 3 12 13 6 “ Ontario “ “ 
My 10 4 18 14 5 “ Green '• “ 
My 11 3 13 4 6 12 ‘i Tompkins “ " 
My 12 10 14 3 13 “ Erie “ ” 
My 13 1219 10 24 11 “ Ontario “ “ 
My 141210 20 “ Wyoming “ " 
My 15 10 8 16 313 6 4 “ Oneida “ “ 
My 16 41410121314 “ Cobb “ Va. 
My 17 12 210 “ Lancaster “ Pa. 
My 1'8 10 14 2 17 14 “ Wayne “ “ 
My 19 7 4 10 19 5 " Ontario “ N. Y. 
My20 1021 12 “ Amherst “ Va. 
My 2121213 “ Onondaga “ N. Y. 
My 22 810121314 “ Herkimer “ " 
My 23 4 18 “ Oneida “ ** 
My 24 13 8 2 4 24 “ Spartanburgh “ S, C, 
My first eleven are creating great agitation among 
my last ten. What is my whole ? 
[ITF Answer in two weeks. 
MISCELLA NEOUS ENIGMA. 
I am composed of 22 letters: 
My 1 18 14 11 is what every fisherman uses. 
My 15 3 2 6 9 was an ancient weapon. 
My 4 10 17 1 is an animal. 
My 5 6 20 is found in every counting house. 
My 13 19 21 5 7 16 22 is what ships generally carry. 
My 8 16 10 19 20 is a much dreaded fish. 
My 1215 22 16 21 19 is a female name. 
My 7 14 3 4 is a part of a fish. 
My whole is the name of a celebrated English 
market. 
0 =^ Answer in two weeks. 
“Jenny ’’-sis. —A facetious contempora¬ 
ry, who perhaps, has had more “ rations ” 
of t e Jenny-ric kind than he can well 
hold, lets off the following which we head 
as above:— 
“ On ’Change they sell ‘ Jenny ’-see 
wheat; the spinning ‘ Jenny ’ is eclipsed by 
the singing ‘Jenny,’ at least for this ‘Jenny’- 
ratiorr; people delight in tracing their 
‘ Jenny’-alogy back into Sweden; all men 
seem to be studying verbs in the ‘ Jenny ’- 
tive case; ‘ Jenny ’-rosity is a virtue no lon¬ 
ger neglected; even our militia Major-* Jen¬ 
ny ’-ral has surrendered to the queen; fond 
mothers call their babies, sportsmen their 
dogs and horses, farmers their cows and 
pigs, ‘Jennys;’ in short ‘Jenny’ is the 
‘ Jenny ’-ric term for all these things, and 
for how many more Jenny-sais-quoi." 
A SABBATH MORNING OF 1776. 
When first my maker formed me to his mind, 
He gave me eyes, but left me dark and blind, 
He formed a nose, yet left me without smell; 
A mouth, but neither voice nor tongue to tell; 
The world me use ; and oft the fair through me. 
Although I hide the face, do plainly see. 
(py’ Answer in two weeks. 
< BY MARTHA RUSSEL. 
i One Sabbath morning, during the gloomy 
< summer of 1776, when the hopes of the 
^ patriots seemed likely to go down in dark- 
^ ness and blood, and even the God-sustain- 
\ ed heart of Washington grew troubled, and 
( almost sank within him, the people of oui* 
) New-England village came up to the house 
) of God with sad countenances and heavy 
^ hearts. News traveled slowly then, and 
< they were chiefly indebted to such wound- 
; ed soldiers as passed through the village, 
) on the way to their homes, for their in- 
^ formation of the movements of the army. 
} They knew that Washington still held New 
■ York, and the last poor wounded fellow 
that had reached home, had told them a 
fearful tale of the state of our own dimin- 
^ ished army, and the horde of troops under 
I the Howes, that were gathering around it 
\ like locusts. 
It was a beautiful mid-summer morning. 
> A light thunder shower, during the latter 
j part of the preceding night, had laid the 
<1 dust and given coolness to the air. The 
) rain tirops still hung trembling from leaf 
^ and spray, and came dropping down in 
^ showei-s, as the footsteps of pedestrians, or 
^ the. heavy tramp of horses, bearing, in most 
\ instances, the double burden of man and 
; matron, with, perchance, a rosy child or 
^ two, started from their quivering perches 
> the silver-throated birds. 
( The grain was already harvested, but 
\ many fields of grass were still standing, 
) brown and sunburnt; and it was very evi- 
i dent that many of the crops had suffered 
I for lack of proper cultivation, for many of 
• the most expert vriolders of the hoe and 
^ scythe, had already exchanged them for the 
musket and sword. Still, here and there 
a piece of Indian corn stood up thriftily, 
'■? through the broad leaves of which the 
s faint west wind rustled, with a low mur- 
^ muring sound, like the dropping of summer 
rain. In the Southwest, just above the 
) top of Totoket, appeared the white caps of 
< two or three of those singular clouds, known 
> among the country people as “thunder- 
b heads.” But the people as they pursued 
The beginning of eternity, 
The end of time and Space, 
The beginning of every end, 
And the end of every place. 
O’ Answer in two weeks. 
" Attend yo armies to the fight, 
And be our guardian God ; 
In vain shall numerous foes unite, 
’Gainst Thine uplifted rod. 
Our troops, beneath Thy guiding hand, 
Shall gain a great renown; 
’Tis Goa that makes the feeble stand, 
And treads the mighty down,” 
The deep silence that followed the bene¬ 
diction, was broken by the low muttering 
of distant thunder, for the white capped 
thunder clouds of the morning, were climb-; 
ing with giant strides up the western sky. | 
Contrary to their usual custom, the people 
waited in silence, until their pastor had de¬ 
scended from the pulpit and passed down 
the aisle; then the aged deacon moved for¬ 
ward, followed by the' congregation in due 
order. As they issued from the wide door¬ 
way, the whole male portion, as if moved by 
one impulse, took their way to the village 
common. Thoughtfully and silently, to the 
roll call of the booming thunder, they took 
their places, shoulder to shoulder, and the 
old minister saw before him the available 
strength of the village—each man capable 
of bearing a musket, from the gray-haired 
veteran to the boy of sixteen. Grouped 
around him, was a small band to whom 
age and debility had left no available wea¬ 
pons, save faith and prayer. One other 
group must not be forgotten; — the mothers, 
wives, sisters and daughters, of those men 
upon the common, who remained clustered 
around the meeting house door, watching, 
with breathless interest the movements of 
their friends. Love, pride, anxiety, hope and 
faith, then lit up their excited features, but, 
I trow, there was little cowardice there. 
The old minister’s heart glowed within 
him at the sight of. the resolute, determined 
looking faces before him, as they proceeded 
to a choice of officers. The subordinate 
offices could readily be filled, but who should 
lead them to face danger and death ? who 
should be their captain ? 
Who so worthy to do this as he who had 
Stood by them in all times of trial and sor¬ 
row ? He who already aided them to fight 
the good fight of faith, their spiritual teach¬ 
er and friend, whose moral and physical 
courage was undoubted?—and, with one 
accord, they named the Rev. Samuel Eells. 
The old man was much moved by this 
unexpected proof of their esteem and con¬ 
fidence. It was the highest honor in theif 
gift, and he fully appreciated the compli¬ 
ment and responsibility. He had too much 
of the old puritan spirit in him to decline; 
his heart was in the cause, and in a few 
apt but broken words, he signified his wil¬ 
lingness to stand by them in life and in 
death. Then, beckoning the females to ad¬ 
vance, he bowed his head, and, like a true 
Cromwellian, called down the blessings of 
Heaven on them and on their cause. 
This was the first company raised in our 
village; such was the spirit with which our 
fatliei*s responded to the requisition of Wash¬ 
ington ; and in justification of the wisdom of 
their choice, let us add that 
“ Like a soldier of the Lord, 
With bis Bible and his swoM,” 
the old pastor led them safely throug'h 
manifold dangers, until they joined the main 
ajmv in New York. 
Pretty Good. —A late foreign paper 
says:—A “vagabond looking fellow,” but 
with some wit nevertheless, was brought 
before a magistrate at Stourbride, last week, 
on the charge of stealing turnips. After 
some droll remark, he was asked by the 
magistrate, “but didn’t you take the tur¬ 
nips found in your pocket ? ” Prisoner— 
“ 1, your worship! certainly not. I went 
to sleep in the field amongst the turnips, 
and the three you found in my pockets 
grew into them while I lay, the heat of my 
body causing them to shoot up faster than 
ordinary. 1 steal turnips, your worship!— 
I’d scorn the action 1 ” 
PROBLEM. 
A gentleman has a rectangular peach-orchard 
with unequal sides. If the square of the difference 
of the sides be multiplied by the greater side, and 
the product be divided by 30 times the less side, the 
quotient is 91 4-5 rods ; but if their difference be 
multiplied by the cube of the less side, and the 
product divided by 10 times the square of the difler- 
ence, the quotient is 91 1-45 rods. From these da¬ 
ta what are the dimensions of the orchard? 
Answer in two weeks. 
NATuiiE and Nature’s God smile pro¬ 
pitiously upon the union that is sweetened 
by love and sanctioned by the law. The 
sphere of our affections is enlarged, and our 
pleasures take wider range. We become 
more important and respected among men, 
and existence itself is doubly enjoyed with 
our softer self. Misfortune loses half its 
anguish beneath the soothing influence of 
her smiles, and triumph becomes lAore tri¬ 
umphant when shared with her. Without 
her what tvould be man ? A roving and 
restless being, driven at pleasure by roman¬ 
tic speculation and cheated into misery by 
futile hopes, the mad victim of untamed 
passion, and the disappointed pursuer of 
fruitless joys. But with her he awakens to 
a new life^ He follows a path wider and 
nobler than the narrow road to self-aggran¬ 
dizement—that is scattered witli more fra¬ 
grant flowei-s and illuminated with a clear¬ 
er light. 
•Wives Well Appukciatkd. — The cler¬ 
gy of the Greek Church are permitted to 
marry while in deacon’s orders, but their 
Bishops and Monks are unmarried. If, 
however, the wife of a papas dies, he can¬ 
not give her a successor; and it is said that 
the knowledge of this gains for her a larger 
amount of respect and attention than is usu¬ 
ally the lot of her sex in the East. A friend 
of mine, who had resided some time in Syr¬ 
ia, was much surprised, upon entering 
the house of one of the principal priests, to 
find the Reverend Papas, washing with his 
own hands the linen of the household. On 
inquiring the re<a.son, the papas replied, “ I 
do this to save my wife labor, that she may 
live the longer; for you know, oh, Kyrie, 
that the law of our Church does not per¬ 
mit me to have another, and I wish to keep 
this D3 loDg iis I can.” — Uoles from Nin- 
evah. 
Excellent Advice.- Set a value on 
the smallest raorsed of knowledge. These 
fragments are the dust of diamonds. 
It is true as poor Richard says, there.is 
much to be done and perhaps you are weak 
handed; but stick to it steadily, and you 
will see great effects, for a constant drop¬ 
ping wears a stone. 
A man may learn that in two minutes 
which may be valuable to him all his life. 
Learn all you can and you will live to 
see its value. 
Never let slip an opportunity of gaining 
a new idea. 
Remember that the beginning of the sub¬ 
lime sciences are often so simple as to seem 
worthless. 
Redeem time for study, the busiest man 
can spare some moments. 
If you wish oaks, plant acorns; if you 
wish a fortune, plant dollars; but if you 
the seeds of virtue, 
ANSWERS TO ENIGMAS IN NO. 42. 
Enigma.— The Discovery of America, 
Answer to Riddle No. 1.— M-adam. 
Answer to Riddle .No. 3— Carp-enter. 
Love,— We have heard of a good many 
enthusiastic lovers in our time, but we think 
that Mr. Toots takes ’em all down. “ If I 
could be dyed black,” says he to Captain 
Cuttle, “and made Miss Dombey’s slave, 
I should consider it a compliment; or if at 
the sacrifice of all my property, I could get 
transmigrated into her dog, I should be so 
perfectly happy, I could never stop wagging 
my tail 1 ” 
WHAT “THEY” SAY O F THE RURAL. 
Moore’s Rural New-Yorker is one of the 
finest things in the way of a weekly paper that has 
lately made its appearance. All tlie subjects indi¬ 
cated by its title are ably treated in its columns, and 
its pages are beautified by clean and neat typo, and 
aplenty of engravings.— Utica Teetotaller. 
* * We bad calculated, from the known genius 
and taste of Mr. .Moore, upon a paj>er of the first 
class. In this we have not been disappointed. Its 
appearance is beautiful. The reading matter, ori¬ 
ginal and selected, evidences much talent and dis¬ 
crimination. The gentlemanly conductor has our 
best wishes for the success of his enterprise.— BuJ. 
Christian Advocate, 
The Rural New-Yorker will be a valuable acqui¬ 
sition to every family into which it finds its way. It 
fills a desideratum in periodical literature, the want 
of which has long been felt.— Rochester Advertiser. 
It is of a mammoth size, quarto, and got up a 
little ahead of any weekly in the country. We 
welcome it to our exchange list.— Mich. Expositor. 
Some descriptive poet who flourished in 
days gone by, gives the following raetricjil 
account of the town of Ware, Massachu¬ 
setts :— 
Dame Nature once when making land, 
H.ad refuse left of stone and sand ; 
She viewed it well, then threw it down 
Between Coy’s Hill and Belchertown, 
And said, you paltry stuff, lie there, 
And make a town, and call it Ware I 
MOORF/S RURAL NEW-YORKER 
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY, AT ROCHESTER, BY 
D. D. T. MOORE, Proprieter. 
Cause and Effect. —There is a man in 
Boston, the father of two rompish daugh¬ 
ters, who attributes their wildness to feed¬ 
ing on caper sauce of which they are ex¬ 
cessively fond. He is second cousin to the 
man, who, to prevent his girls from running 
off with the young men, fed them on cant- 
elopes. 
New Platform. —A candidate for office 
in Michigan, thus announces his platform.— 
“ I am sir, in favor of the next war—op¬ 
posed to the cholera—in favor of high sal¬ 
aries—opposed to uncurrent funds and poor 
brandy.” _ _ 
A Curious Fact.— Make a string that 
will reach twice around the neck of a lady 
—let her hold the ends between her teeth, 
and then if the noose will slip over her 
head to the back of the neck, it is a certain 
indication that she is married, or ought to be. 
A wife once boasted of having cut and 
made a shirt for her husband in one day. 
“ Yes replied a wag, and he wore it out the 
next” _ 
A Dublin paper has the following:— 
“ Yesterday, Mr. Kelly, returning to town, 
fell down and broJee his neck, but happily 
received no further damage.'’ 
Said a young fellow, indignantly, when 
called a boy, “ Don’t call me boy — I’ve 
chewed tobacco these six yeara” 
Why was the conqueror of Canaan like 
a child whom nobody fatliers?—Because 
he was the son of Nun. 
\ their way along the green lanes and over 
^ the forest crowned hills, had other thoughts 
' Al_ ^ 1_A_- Al. ^ 1* -J..__ _ 
than that of the beauty of the landscape. 
Their hearts were with their brothers and 
friends; their thoughts turned up towards 
Him who is both aWe to build up and cast 
down, before whose altar they were ac¬ 
customed to east all their cares and troubles. 
As with slow and reverent steps they 
filed into the meeting-house, and took their 
seats ill the square pews, it was easily seen 
that the greater portion of the male part of 
the congregation, consisted of men advanc¬ 
ed in years and boys in their teens. The 
morning service passed a.s usual, and, after 
a short intermission, the people again gath¬ 
ered to their places, and the earnest prayer 
was offered, and a sermon, suited to the ex¬ 
igencies of the times and the wants of tlie 
audience wixs commenced. Suddenly the 
congregation were startled by the heavy 
tramp of a horse, which rapidly approached 
and halted by the meeting-house door. In 
a moment the rider had thrown himself 
from the saddle, and stood within the door. 
Handing a note to the aged deacon, who was 
hurrying down the aisle to ask the cause of 
this untoward interruption, with an audibly 
whispered injunction to act with speed, he 
as hastily mounted and kept on his way.— 
The deacon cast one glance at the super¬ 
scription of the paper, then marched rever¬ 
ently up the pulpit stairs and placed it in 
prefer happiness, sow 
and “ cultivate them with charity.” 
Those who are honest, as the best poli¬ 
cy, are half way to being rogues. 
steam press of a. strong 4 oo. 
