Dollar When Othep* 
MAY 3o 
Humorous, 
fM bcst/ 4 KAYf^syes 
SONG OF AN IMMIGRANT. 
I want to be a resident 
’Neath Uncle Sam’I’s flag, 
And Rather U. S. currency 
Until niv pockets safe. 
Rut here I'll ire no citizen. 
For then. oh. sorry fate; 
I couldn’t be the protege 
Of any foreign State. 
And so I’ll ever keep me 
An alien light and free, 
And citizens may hustle 
To be secure from me. 
— Washington Post. 
Why are people so ready to borrow trou¬ 
ble ? Js it because they need never re¬ 
turn it ? 
Duckets : “ I wonder how it Js gold goes 
abioad ?” Lambkin : “It can afford to.” 
—Philadelphia Press. 
A Blessing.— “Tastes differ,” said Mug- 
ley. “Good thing they do,” put in Bottle- 
ton. “If they didn’t, squills and straw 
berries would taste the same.”— N. Y. Sun. 
Sympathy.— Blossom the rejected (bit¬ 
terly) : “ I wish I were a handsome fool.” 
Carver: “ Poor fellow, you’re not very 
handsome, that’s a fact .”—Podunk Ga¬ 
zette. 
“Do you know, Ethel,” said Chappie, 
“ that you dwell in my mind altogether ?” 
Ethel: “ Now I know why I felt cramped; 
but I’ll never again live in a flat as long as 
I live .”—The Epoch. 
Natural Enough: “Barnes made a great 
mistake when he married his typewriter.” 
“ Does he complain?” “Yes; he says she 
won’t stand any dictation nowadays.”— 
New York Mercury. 
Mind: “Oh, I’m invited to the Way- 
up’s ball; but I don’t know what in the 
world to wear. What would you wear if 
you had my complexion ?” Millicent: “A 
thick veil.”—Boston Courier. 
Unmailable Letters —“ Do you believe 
that marriage is a lottery, Mr. Wana- 
maker ?” asked Benjamin Harrison. 
“Largely so, Mr. President.” “Then you 
must forbid mail facilities to love-letters.” 
—Life. 
Where It Was.— Mother (reading nur¬ 
sery rbyrnt): “There was an old woman 
who lived in a shoe. She had—” Alice: 
“But where was the shoe, mamma?” 
Mother: “In Chicago, dear .”—Vermont 
Watchman. 
Preaching Versus Practice.— Snake 
Editor: “ What are you writing ?” Sani 
tary Editor: “ An article on the Evil 
Effects of Tobacco. Give me a match! 
This pipe of mine’s forever going out.”— 
The Continent. 
An Interruption at the Wedding.— 
“John,” said the minister, “ will you take 
this woman to be your wedded wife ?” 
“Now, here, parson, what’s the use of ask¬ 
ing questions like that ? What do you 
suppose I am after; a divorce ?”— Life. 
Proud Father (to minister): “Goin’ ter 
start a church and Sunday-school, are yer ? 
Well, I’ve got two mighty good boys wot’ll 
do ftr yer Bible class. They never told a 
lie in their lives—here they come now. 
Boys, where did yer git that fowl ?” The 
good boys: “Stoled it.” Proud father: 
“See parsou ? Er lie couldn’t live in them 
boys’ mouth.”— N. Y. Press. 
33 DEDERICK'S WORKS, ALBANY*N.Y1 
5,000 acre 0 gool farming lands, with good improve¬ 
ments, in healthy country, within 13 hours'travel of 
New York City; on main railroad line from North 
to Souch, Lands adapted to growth of all the crops 
grown in this latitude, and especially adapted to the 
growth of early vegetables and fruiis ofnll kinds. 
Two daily passenger trains and one fruit and vege 
table train daily-. Also fine water power. Cotton 
factory and grist and saw mill. Apply to 
JAS. H. WHITAKER, 
P. O. Bex 102. Enfield, Halifax Co.. N. C. 
A Good Investment 
PEERING MOWERS 
DEERING BINDER TWINES 
‘Whys and Wherefores” WM. DEERING & CO 
FOR SA LE.— Valuable Country Business Piop 
erty, now well rente!. Lease expires April 1, 1892. 
Large Two-Story Store and Basement (nearly new), 
80 by 52 feet; also one New One Story Hard-wood 
Building. 15 by 40 feet, with about two acres of 
ground. Situated one-quarter of a mile from Rail¬ 
road Station on Lebanon Springs Railroad, In Colum¬ 
bia County, New York ; one hour from Albany, Troy 
and Hudson, N. Y ; and about four hours from New 
York City. Three trains dally each way. This prop¬ 
erty Is on the Old Boston and Albany Turnpike, and 
has been the principal business store for the past 60 
years. Price low. Terms easy. 
Address THOMPSON, 
Care of Rural New Yorker, New York Cliy. 
NEW 
GIANT 
IUNIOR GIANT 
SUIT EVERY 
PURSE AND 
EVERY TASTE 
CHICAGO. U. S. A 
An Excellent Opportunity 
for investment In the Orange Helt at RIVER¬ 
SIDE, CAE. Young groves for sale at bargains. 
Net profits, $510 per acre. Low taxes. Climate un¬ 
surpassed. For further particulars and terms address 
C. E. MrllRIIlE. Mansfield, Ohio, or 
J. H. FOUNTAIN. Riverside. Cal. 
CANADA 
UNLEACHED 
HARD WOOD 
Nature’s Own Fertilizer, 
Send for Sample, Prices, Pamphlet and Guaranteed 
Analysis to THE FOREST CITY WOOD ASH 
CO., London, Out., Canada, or South Sudbury, 
M ass. 
Mark Is on 
We are enabled to offer our readers a most attrac¬ 
tive combination, by which all may obtain a copy 
of the modern Cook Book,” which contains 
In the world. 
l. J. Tower, Boston. 
id for Illustrated Catalogue, 
320 Pages, Over 1,200 Recipes and 
Hundreds of Illustrations. 
CONTENTS. 
Rural New-Yorker, May 30,1891, 
LIVE STOCK AND DAIRY. 
Are Jersey Cattle Alderneys ?.. 
Veterinary Inhaler. . 
Live Stock Notes. 
Poultry Yard . 
A True Cat and Goose Story. 
Breaking bitting Hens. 
Feeding Poultry. 
FARM TOPICS 
Latest Facts about Preserved Green Forage. 
Some Vermont Farm Notes. 
Agriculture In France . 
Cheap Seales . 
Canning Factory Wasu s in me Silo. 
Evaporating Potatoes and romaioes. 
How Mucn Paris-grten ?. 
Pecan Culture. . 
Woodason Bellows . 
Farm Paint- Crude Petroleum.. 
A Valuable Plant. 
Cotton-seen Meal r ei ulizers. 
Fertilizers and Hen Manure,.... 
Not tor Sweet Potatoes.. 
Sulphate of Iron.. 
Ensilage vs. Roots.... 
Hired Men are Whit We Make Them. 
Planting Sorghum. . 
A Model Silo , Wind Power for Cutting. _ 
Co-operation in English Agriculture. 
Picket Mills. 
Cutaway Harrow : Manure Spreader. 
For Loosening Sod Ground. 
Machine for Cutting Corn Fodder. 
The recipes are the choicest selections from 20,000 that 
were received from practical housewives living in all parts 
of the United States, to which were added hundreds of the 
newest, best and most practical recipes of this progressive 
age, all of it set in new and large type, and the whole book 
handsomely illustrated. 
IT IS A PRACTICAL ROOK 
It Is an admirably arranged volume of recipes for practical, everyday 
use. Among Its points of excellence are the following: 
Practical Suggestions to Young Housekeepers, Necessary Kitchen Utensils, Suggestions 
and Recipes for Soups, Fish, Poultry, Game, Meats, Salads, Sauces, Catsups and 
Relishes, Breakfast and Tea Dishes, Vegetables, Bread, Biscuit, Pies, Puddings, 
Cakes, Custards, Desserts, Cookies, Fritters, etc. Also for Preserves, Candles 
and Beverages; Cookery for the Sick, Bills of Fare for Family Dinners, 
Holiday Dinners, etc. A Table of Weights and Measures; Chapters on 
the Various Departments of Household Management and Work. 
^ttercUattcou# 
In writing to advertisers please always 
mention The Rural New-Yorker. 
F OR SALE.— 30 good Missouri or Illinois 
FnrniN, near St. Louis, with possession, Write 
for descriptions to THOS. BETTS, 525 Chestnut St., 
St. Louis, Mo. Established 18t>u. 
HORTICULTURAL. 
Treatment of Transplanted Trees. 
Strawberries. Peaches, Celery and Onions 
Currant Worms ; Use of Helleoore. 
Origin of the Isabella crape. 
Handling the Berry Business. 
Fruit Sorters. 
COTCH COLLIE AND ST. BERNARD PUPPIES 
• for Sale. Thoroughbred Stock at cheap prices. 
ROBT. G BRED IN, Paterson. N J. 
Any person accepting our offer will receive this paper nearly a year, and also that charming home 
journal, the Ladies’ Home Companion, one year, together with the Cook Book, all 
mailed, postpaid, For less than the regular price of the two papers alone. 
Scotch Collie for Sale 
Tlir I AfllTQ’ UMUtr PflMDAUmU ts a large and P°P ular 16-page journal, published twice a 
I ML LflUILu numt. uumramun month, and gives information about those things which women 
particularly wish to know, and Is mostly written by women. Original or Selected Stories by pleasing 
writers are found In each Issue. A special feature is the variety of departments, each of which Is conducted 
by a special editor. It gives the latest Fashions, arranged for practical use ; timely hints to Housekeepers) 
cheering and helpful talks wilh Mothers; valuable Information for lovers of Flowers; a pretty and pleasant 
page for pretty and pleasant children. All handsomely Illustrated. It is not. an ultra fashion paper, but a 
journal for the home circle, full of common-sense Ideas and suggestions for home happiness and comfort. 
WOMAN AND THE HOME 
A Modest Sum vs. . 
How to Treat a Wound in the Foot from a Rusty 
Nail or a Piece ot iin . . 
The Better Farmer Hts Brother’s Keeper. 
Kindred Views. . 
sweet Apples and Wills. 
The Ideal Factory Become Real. 
Taole Linen. 
Mother Taught Us. 
Good Country Fare for Spring. 
Pillow Covers. . 
A female pup a few months old In good condition. 
High bred ; pedigree on application Will be sold at 
a reasonable price. Address 
GEO. R. KNAPP, Tenafly, N. J. 
VAPORATING FRUIT 
Pull troutine on improved method*, yields, profits 
.and prices t UKK. AMERICAN M’F’CCO. 
| Box x, WAYNESBORO. PA. 
HI 1 R HPPPR Send us $1.25, and you will receive The Rural New-Y r orker or The 
•US? UU It r FA_.lt American Garden for the rest of this year, and also the Ladies’ 
Home Companion one year (24 numbers). And every one accepting this offer will also receive the above 
Cook Book, postpaid. 
MISCELLANEOUS. 
Never Tax Property with Legs. 
Unearned Increment! Unearned Living 
Objections to Income Tax. . 
The " Times ” are What we Make Them 
Here’s What’s the Mattor with Green ... 
w hat Others Say. 
Editorial..'. 
Brevities . 
Agricultural News . . 
Condeused Correspondence. 
Crop and Market Notes. 
Markets. 
Lawson Valentine’s Character. 
Humorous... 
SEED POTATOES 
137“ If your own subscription is paid for the year, you can sell the subscription to 
The Rural New-Yorker to a neighbor, and receive The Ladies’ Home Companion and 
Cook Book in your own home. 
Choice selected Houlten, Aroestook Co., Maine Farly 
Rose, Beauty or Hebrom, and all other well-knowa 
varieties. For sale by 
W. E DURYEA'S SONS, 
Produce Commission Merchants, 
119 Warren Street, New York. 
Address THE RURAL PUBLISHING CO., Times Building, New York, 
fTT 
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