PORTER’S JOURNAL, 
75 
and the most of our small spars sprung; added to this, the ship 
herself was 14 years old, and had not been coppered or received 
any repairs of importance for upwards of five years: these cny 
cumstances would not prevent her cruizing a long time in a mo¬ 
derate climate, but were now great considerations, when she had 
to double Cape Horn. She had now been constantly at sea (with 
the exception of the few days we were at Port Praya and St. Ca¬ 
tharines) near four months ; her crew had, during the whole of 
that time, been on short allowance of provisions and water, and 
the state of the provisions now required, that this allowance 
should be still more reduced. We had no certainty of meeting 
with provisions or stores, or a hospitable reception in any port, 
should we arrive in the Pacific ; and, should we fail in our at¬ 
tempts to get round, we have no port that we can go into to re¬ 
cruit our stock, without the certainty of blockade ; we are beyond 
the reach of assistance from every quarter, and remain solitary and 
dependent on our own resources, and the precarious supplies 
which the enemy may afford; and should we go into port, we 
have not ground tackle on which we can rely. Besides, I was de- 
parting from the letter of my instructions, and in prosecution of 
a plan which might not prove successful, or meet the approba« 
tion of my commanding officer, or the navy department; and, how¬ 
ever justifiable my conduct may be, the apprehensions of censure 
could not otherwise than produce their effect on my mind. Had 
my intentions been corroborated by positive orders, whatever 
might have been my probable fate, I should have entered into the 
execution of them with redoubled alacrity and ardour, and des¬ 
pised (what I should then have considered) the petty hardships 
and dangers I was threatened with ; but driven, as I have been, to 
the absolute necessity of departing from my instructions, and hav¬ 
ing taken on myself the responsibility of proceeding into the 
Pacific, I have, in some measure, engaged to answer for the suc¬ 
cess of the enterprize, to which every other consideration should 
now be subservient; and, if we were subject to evils, that no other 
ship yet had to bear up against, it only required, that we should 
summon up the more fortitude and determine to subdue them, to 
trust much to fortune, and enter boldly into the attempt. 
