1895 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER 
767 
FARMER HAYSEED'S ORATION. 
A PARODY ON “ SEBASTIAN MOBIE’S 
ORATION.” 
i made a speech the other day, down to the 
county fair; 
I was chuck full of The Rural New-Yorker, 
and dew declare, 
That I bust out with elerkunce on garden truck 
and clover, 
Until the people yelled for joy as soon as it was 
over. 
The Gov’nor spoke a pretty speech about the 
price o’ butter. 
Our Congressmun he tried to spread, but didn’t 
do much but stutter. 
Deacon Jones he made ’em tired, and the folks 
begun to go, 
Then I heerd Jack Simpson whisper, “ Let Old 
Hayseed hev a show.” 
This kinder got my dander riz, Great Scott ! the 
shots 1 sent! 
I tilled mv lungs, unhitched my jaw, and then I 
let her went. 
The people tho’t a thunderbolt had bust an’ 
cracked the air, 
When my unmuzzled elerkunce went tearin’ thro’ 
the fair. 
Wy ! punkin vines and cabbage heads seemed 
whirlin’ in my brain, 
An’ all mixed up with waterspouts, an’ drouth, 
an’ hail, an’ rain. 
I howled of edication, too, how farmers should 
grow wiser, 
Of agricultural newspapers, and bone-dust fer¬ 
tilizer. 
My hair riz up, my coat-tails waved liked ban¬ 
ners of the free, 
My eyes they squirted lightnin’ until they couldn’t 
see; 
I flapped my hands like eagle’s wings a-soarin’ 
up on high, 
My arms swung ’roun’ the rostrum and flaunted 
toward the sky. 
When I sot down the women cried, the men their 
noses bio wed, 
The Poland-China gave a grunt, the Bantum 
rooster crowed. 
I poked Jack Simpson in the ribs ’till he was 
nearly kilt, 
And whispered, “ How’s Old Hayseed now! ” You 
orto seen him wilt. l. a. clark. 
ARE WOMEN ASHAMED OF THEIR 
AGES? 
Y attention hUs been direeted to 
the question of late by two causes: 
In doing’ genealogical work, I find it 
6565—GIRL’S JACKET 
hard to get full returns from the females 
of families to my requests for data for 
my work. There seems to be an idea 
that it is only the male members who 
are supposed to have birthdays. Our 
reading club has just finished a course 
of reading on Modern American Authors. 
To give a resum6 of the course for the 
last meeting, I took my note book to 
copy the required data. Every male 
author was outspoken in giving his age 
—year, month and day—no evasion, no 
shilly-shallying about it. But when the 
compiler chivalrously announced “Place 
aux dames,” all such genealogical data 
vanished ; and the women who figured 
in the group were good, sensible women, 
too. Now, why is this ? Why should 
Mr. Vedder say, “George W. Cable was 
born in New Orleans October 12, 1844,” 
and of Mrs. Whitney, “Adeline Dutton 
Train was a native of Boston, and spent 
her early life in that city V” and a similar 
slip-shod notice is given of each woman 
mentioned in his book. 
When women who did not marry be¬ 
fore 30, were called “ old maids,” there 
was, perhaps, some excuse for not pub- 
MOTHERS. —Be sure to use “Mrs. Wins¬ 
low’s Soothing Syrup ” for your children 
while Teething. It is the Best.— Adv. 
lishing when that dread day drew near ; 
but now that old maids are out of fash¬ 
ion, I think that this silly idea of con¬ 
cealing one’s age should go out of fash¬ 
ion too. Let us hope that the New 
Woman will not be ashamed to tell how 
old she is. _ J. c. w. 
PRINTED PATCHWORK. 
Some one hath need of thee. 
Some one, or who, or where, 
I do not know; 
Knowest thou not? 
Then seek ! make no delay, 
And thou shalt find 
In the land of sun or snow 
Who waits thee, 
Little child, or pilgrim gray; 
For since God keeps thee 
In his world below, 
Some one hath need of thee 
Somewhere to-dav- — Anonymous. 
_Dk. Parkiicrst in Ladies’ Home 
Journal : “Inquisitiveness is as natural 
to intelligence as hunger is to the stom¬ 
ach.” 
_Haryot Holt Cahoon : “It is the 
present indifference of women to the 
things that do not interfere with the 
comfort they enjoy within the peck 
measure of their own lives, that is such 
a strong factor in the promotion of vice.” 
....Theodore Roosevelt: “The man 
who really counts in this world is the 
doer, not the mere critic—the man who 
actually does the work, even though 
roughly and imperfectly, not the man 
who only talks or writes about how it 
ought to be done.” 
....President of Leland Stanford 
University in New York Ledger : 
“ Those who have had to do with the 
higher training of women, know that 
the severest demands can be met by 
them as well as by men. There is no 
demand for easy or ‘ goody-goody ’ 
courses of study for women, except as 
this demand has been made or encour¬ 
aged by men.” 
_F. C. Iglehart, -D. D., in the N. 
A. Review : “ This is no time to relax 
American law to the standard of Old 
World government or Old World morals. 
This is no time to make New York a 
Berlin for the German, a St. Petersburg 
for the Russian, a Paris for the French¬ 
man, or a Rome for the Italian. It is the 
time to keep New York American for 
the Americans, whether they come from 
Europe, Asia, Africa, or the islands of 
the seas, or are native born.” 
PATTERNS FOR R. N.-Y. READERS. 
Write the order for patterns separate 
from other matter, give bust measure 
and pattern number, and inclose 10 cents. 
Each pattern is complete with instruc¬ 
tions for cutting the garment and put¬ 
ting together. 
Girls’ Jacket. 
The loose-fitting double-breasted fronts 
are closed on the left with three fancy 
gilt buttons. The upper portions of 
fronts are reversed in pointed lapels, 
the rolling collar of velvet slightly over¬ 
lapping the upper edges. A broad single 
box plait is laid in the center back that 
falls loosely in stylish fullness below 
the waist line, where it is held in place 
by a pointed strap buttoned on each side. 
Convenient pockets are inserted in the 
fronts, completed with machine-stitched 
welts. Full sleeves fit the arm comfort¬ 
ably, gathers at the top causing a puffed 
effect above the elbow. All edges may 
be stitched or plainly finished, as pre¬ 
ferred. Pattern Dio. 05(55 is cut in five 
sizes, for 4, 0, 8, 10 and 12-year-old 
children. _ 
ODDS AND ENDS. 
Planting Shrubs. —Instead of being a 
common, it is an uncommon thing, in 
riding through the country, to see farm 
house grounds, wherein the planting of 
shrubs seems to have been done with an 
intelligent view as to effect. As a rule, 
bushes of every, or any description, have 
been put out in a pell-mell sort of fash¬ 
ion, so that what should be large spaces 
of grass, open to the easy swing of the 
scythe, is an indiscriminate huddle of 
bushes. There are generally two toler¬ 
ably suitable locations in every yard for 
plants—one in beds, running about the 
house, for the smaller plants, and the 
other, following the line of fences, 
walks or drives, for shrubs and such 
larger plants as pieoniesand hollyhocks. 
Set shrubs always with a view to their 
encroaching upon a walk or drive, with 
their increased growth. Good grading 
and good arrangement of trees and 
shrubs, add 50 per cent to the looks of a 
place. M. w. F. 
A Sensible Marriage. —Through a 
sensible marriage we can all hope, bet¬ 
ter than in any other way, to be thor¬ 
oughly understood, says the House¬ 
keeper; the good, true, noble wife will j 
know her husband as he wishes to be i 
known, with excuses for his weaknesses 
and the mediation of love thrown upon 
his virtues. The primary condition of 
understanding any human being, is to 
approach in sympathy and unselfishness, 
and that condition is only perfectly 
secured through love. This perfect 
understanding of each other through 
marriage, should give to each a kind of 
supplementary self-warding-off of the 
A WOMAN. 
A woman lias many pleasures and muck to 
Be thank lul for; but, alas! she also has many 
pains. 
A woman may not be the slave of man, but 
where her affections are concerned, she is de¬ 
voted to him, and often overtaxes herself thereby. 
A woman will often, without knowing it, com¬ 
mit slow suicide for her children. She will think, 
toil and shorten her life in their behalf. Too 
often they do not appreciate it. 
A woman should not allow her color to fade, 
her cheeks to become sallow, her strength to be 
lost. She is designed for attractiveness and 
happiness. 
A woman need not allow any of these things 
to happen if she will only obey the laws of health 
and use the best means at her command for pre¬ 
serving it. 
A woman needs a friend upon whom she can 
rely, and there is no friend which so surely aids 
her when she is in need of aid as that great rem¬ 
edy, Warner’s Safe Cure. 
A woman who has never learned this great 
truth or who has failed to avail herself of it, has 
\ lost a line opportunity, and is doubtless less 
strong and attractive to-day than she deserves 
to be and might be. 
A woman who follows the best hints that can 
be given her, and who takes advantage of the 
latest discoveries of science for helping her is 
certain to live longer, appear more attractive, 
suffer less and enjoy more happiness than one 
who neglects her opportunities. 
weaknesses that most easily assail us. 
The husband and wife are. or should be, 
like buckler-bearing attendants in the 
battle of life, each guarding the other 
against blows that one alone might not 
have detected. There is no better sharp¬ 
ener of the wits than love and self-sacri¬ 
fice, and how delicate are ttie allowances 
made by the tender hearts of those 
whose lives are truly one. 
Do you want some pocket money for 
Christmas ? You can earn it during spare 
hours in November. See top of page 7G2. 
ffi <9<J<XJKK9 
2?g 0 DISHES ?$ 
'» hi. 1 No need of it. The Faultlesa V 
WAbn [Quaker will do it for you and A 
y ^ ^ | buvo urne, hands, dmhea, money, ^ 
V Nf 111UHH - Washes, 
4* rinces dries und ,\ 
if \W \ polishes quickly. J 
A ‘iWrJi*’ Vdf Made of best mu- V 
L mP:'f time. Sellateight. V 
f Ml/ i wBB Agents, women or A 
V men of honor de- J 
J '"ill: ■&' ! l: i ;lli: l !lli'*ili,! , 'vl^'l! l ife^u^’ menl may haven r 
A - paying business — 
P* by writing now A 
\t lor descriptive circulars and terms to agents, a 
^The QUAKER NOVELTY CO., Salem, 0. J 
^USi'cUancou.s' §Umti£infl. 
IN writing to advertisers, please always mention 
The Rural New-Yorker. 
To 
HO DIRT LEFT 
f L' t v' Hsu 1 
f -T"’**•*“* j\ too pieces in one hour and 
i ri( fSOI Ino hard work done. That’s 
k k ii feggj J Y the record. AGENTS 
WANTED. Exclusive 
Lake Erie IWfg. Co., 154 E. 13 St., Erie, Pa. 
Remove 
That Tired 
Feeling, Take 
THE ONLY WORLD’S FAIR 
*®^Sarsapari !!a 
Over Half a Century 
BRANSON 
FAMILY KNITTING MACHINE 
L The simplest, the best, the ONLY satisfactory 
Family Knitter now in the market. The 
lg"** same machine we have sold for twenty 
36k J years at ♦85. No excuse now tor 
pffy.a buying; worthless toys. Complete with full 
illnstr.Tt'd hook of instructions. Knits any 
MM article wanted in the home of wool or 
cotton, faotorv or homespun. 
BRANSON KNITTING MACHINE CO., 
I 50 G St. John Struct, Philadelphia, Pa. 
WOULD YOU —ES 
We will send you full particulars Free, or a valuable, 
sample of our roods in Sterling Silver upon receipt 
of Five Two cent ttampt for postage, etc. Address 
Standard. SilverWare iioston, Muhh, 
Old. Why Not 
Get the Best? 
AYER’S PILLS cure Headache. 
Cattle hides and all sorts 
of skins whole for ROBES 
and RUOS. Soft, fight, 
moth-proof. Get our 
tan circular. We make 
frisian,coon and galloway fur tout, uml rubea. If 
your dealer don't keep t hem get catalogue from us 
The Cbokbv Frisian Fur GO., Box 46 Rochester.N.Y. 
BREAK FA ST-SUPPER. 
IT YOURSELF ! 
EPPS’S 
COCOA dOJfi 
JL JL With Root’s noino Repair 
BOILING WATER OR MILK. ^EomWo°t 3 lfmoo^ 
No. 2, same, excepting 11a 
- Full description of these 
cess” of Harness-making 
_ _ . . _ Soldering, etc., given in 
/Ok SAVE % YOUR FUEL =;■>!**»«« 
P ,;ir n '■'“Hi— I U L.I. for j 10m0 use a (; i ow prices 
By using our (stove pipe) RADIATOR. rhc Root Bros. Co. 
S&mH With its 120 Cross Tubes, 
ONE stove or furnace does the work of 1 OrilTO Wjbltl 
TWO. Drop postal for proofs from A II r Hj 1 \ wherc 
prominent men. Ft U B-11 I %# f 0r tllt 
TO INTRODUCE OUR RADIATOR, manent sale to stores. 
„ _ , ...... territory write JE. I1L. 
the first order from each neighborhood _ 
filled at WHOLESALE price, and secures 
an agency. Write at once. Salesme 
Rochester Radiator Company, O * 1 . o p . 10 * 120 per month 
__ ’ Position permanent, plea 
27 Furnace St,, ROCHESTER, N. F. with stamp, KING MFG. 
GEARHART’S FAMILY KNITTER. IF YOU WANT 
ft -^nniiiii'.nmgasi ,- gga Knits a stocking heel and too farm worth three time: 
in ten minutes. Knits every- Willis A. White. 259 Firs 
fill V 1 1 thing required in (lie house- 
[■'3 hold from homespun or factory, 
i j* wool or cotton yams. Mostprac- ____ — _ _ 
I tical knitter on the market. A spuik JLM Aft 
yfflga W I child can operate it. Strong, El JU I 1 W « 
M^ginjE L^ I>uri>»»lc, Simple, ltupid. | Vi 
PRICF MSHdlRP^Satisfaetion guaranteed. Agents LJ wishing to taki 
«o nn iPigralf wanted. l-’or part icu.ars and am. years old, or be 
pie work.addiess spond with THE CL 
J. L. GLaUIiAIIT, Hex K, Clearfield, Pu. ORPHAN ASYLUM, 1460 
ted 8 NMls| nailsIkaiis Inails 
Soldering, etc., given in our catalog, a book full of 
money-saving, eyo-opening ideas, worth dollars to any¬ 
one, MAILED FREE. Blacksmiths’ and Camenters’tools 
for homo use at low prices. Agents -van tede very where. 
The Root Bros. Co., Box A‘J Plymouth, O' 
AfiEMTQ Wan,ed on Salar * ".““".“l”', 0 ": 
MU Ln I IJ where make big money and control 
w for their profit a growing and per¬ 
manent sale to stores. Used on every horse. For 
territory write £• HUNTEK CO., Racine, Wis. 
Salesmen Wanted. 
*100 to $125 per month and expenses. Staple line. 
Position permanent, pleasant and desirable. Address, 
with stamp, KING MFG. CO., G. 51, Chicago. 
ir VHII 11/1 WT a Kood, safe, seven per cent 
I! lUU YV Mill ^vestment, secured by first 
mortgage on an Improved 
farm worth three times amount loaned, write to 
Willis A. White. 229 First Ave. N., Minneapolis, Minn 
¥ BOYS! 
a Responsible persons 
wishing to take a promising boy, two to ten 
years old, or boy baby, will do well to corre¬ 
spond with THE CLEVELAND PROTESTANT 
ORPHAN ASYLUM, 1460 St. Clair St., Cleveland, Ohio 
