January  22,  1910, 
WOMAN  AND  HOME 
“Howrdo,  Mis’  Holcomb !  Here’s  a 
tapioca  puddin’  Maw  sent  over.  She 
said  to  be  sure  and  tell  you  she’s  so 
sorry  Mister  Holcomb’s  come  down  with 
the  grippe,  and  she'll  bet  some  tapioca 
and  this  grape  jelly  ’ll  set.  on  his  stum- 
mick  if  anything  will.  And  Paw  sez, 
‘You  tell  Eli  Holcomb  to  go  right  to  bed 
and  sweat  it  out — me  and  llenrjrll  tend 
to  his  milkin’  and  drawin’  to  the  station 
and  sich.  Tell  him  not  to  worry  one 
minute — that’s  what  neighbors  are  for.’ 
“Yessum,  there’s  a  hull  lot  down  with 
it.  Dr.  Stiles  sox  the  air’s  just  full  o’ 
germs,  this  warm,  damp  weather — sure 
I’ll  come  in  and  talk  to  him — if  he’s  as 
lonesome  as  that.  Hollo!  Mister  Hol¬ 
comb. 
“Well,  I  hope  you'll  soon  be  round 
again — YTes,  it  is  funny  about  Roland 
Smith,  ain't  it? 
"Sure !  We  know  all  about  it !  Rol 
was  down  to  our  house  yistiddy,  and 
told  us  everything — leastways,  all  that 
Paw  didn’t  know  already. 
“Well,  to  begin  at  the  beginnin’,  he 
see  a  advertisement  iu  the  Fortner's 
Friend.  It  said  the  Universal  Supply  Co. 
wanted  a  few  more  bright,  capable,  in¬ 
telligent.  hustlin’  young  men  to  repre¬ 
sent.  ’em  in  the  few  remainin’  unoccu¬ 
pied  counties  of  the  United  States,  to 
take  orders  and  measurements  for  their 
justly  celebrated  made-to-order  suits ; 
guaranteed  to  fit,  or  no  charge;  made 
from  the  finest  cloth,  manufactured  in 
our  own  mammoth  mills;  all  middle¬ 
men’s  profits  cut  out,  and  the  benefit 
given  to  our  customers. 
"Well,  you  know  yourself,  Mister  Hol¬ 
comb,  Rol  did  have  some  poor  luck,  this 
year — not  enough  to  hurt  him,  Paw  sez. 
So  lie  set  right  down  and  studied  that 
advertisement  from  A  to  Izzard.  Then 
he  sent  for  terms.  They  seemed  so  good 
to  him  he  come  down  to  see  Paw  about  it. 
“First  off,  though,  he  bpgun  to  run 
down  farmin.’  Said  farmers  never  had 
nothin’  to  do  with  settin’  prices,  had  to 
draw  milk  in  the  meanest  climate  in 
North  America,  over  the  wust  roads  in 
all  creation.  That  wa'nt  half  he  had  to 
say,  hut  Paw  pulled  on  the  lines  a  little. 
"  ’Roland,’  sez  he,  ‘when  they  started 
to  organize  a  branch  of  the  Dairymen’s 
League  here,  who  was  it  dropped  the 
monkey  wrench  a  tween  the  cogs?  And 
when  they  saw  how  the  roads  improved 
in  this  district  and  tried  to  go  over  to 
the  money  system  in  yours,  who  killed  it? 
Furthermore,  though  I  must  admit 
there’s  been  too  much  of  heatin’  farmers 
out  of  their  money,  when  did  you  miss 
a  check?  I  don’t  seem  to  recollect  that 
you  was  present  when  we  voted  not  to 
draw  our  milk  unless  Mr.  Steinhilber 
put  up  a  bond.’ 
"Yes,  sir ;  but  it  didn’t  quiet  him  for 
long.  Pretty  soon  he  said  that  the  only 
people  farmin’  was  fit  for  was  them  as 
couldn’t  make  a  livin’  at  anything  else. 
"  ‘‘Oli-hum,’  Paw  sez.  ‘I’ve  heard  peo¬ 
ple  talk  that-a-way  before.  If  I  remem¬ 
ber  right,  they  was  either  mighty  poor 
farmers  or  else  they  had  the  liver  com¬ 
plaint.  Better  get  Dr.  Stiles  to  give  you 
some  calomel.’ 
"Then  Rol  pulled  out  the  Fortner’s 
Friend.  Raw  looked  at  it  and  shook  his 
head. 
"  ‘If  it  was  the  farmer’s  friend,  it 
wouldn’t  need  to  say  so,’  he  sez. 
"Rol  pointed  to  the  ad.  and  called 
Paw’s  ’tention  to  the  well-dressed  man 
drivin’  a  snappy  team — the  new  spring 
wagon  filled  with  packages  of  new  suits, 
all  marked:  ‘From  THE  UNIVERSAL 
SUPPLY  COMPANY,  Chicago  and 
Waukekonngon.’ 
“‘Where’s  Waukekonagon ?’  Pa  asked. 
“  ‘That’s  where  their  mills  are.’ 
“  ‘L’h-huh.  And  where  are  their 
mills?’ 
“  ‘At  Waukekonagon.’ 
“  ‘I  see,’  sez  Paw.  ‘From  Wabbleton 
to  Wibbleton  is  fourteen  miles,  and  from 
Wibbleton  to  Wabbleton  is  fourteen 
miles.  Any  idea  what  State  this  Wau¬ 
kekonagon  is  in?’ 
“  ‘I — I — guess  it  must  be  in  Indiana,’ 
sez  Rbl. 
“  ‘Well,’  Paw  sez,  ‘mebbe  your  guesa 
“  ‘Well?’  Rol  sez,  at  last. 
"That’s  the  slickest  heads-I-win,  tails- 
you-lose  dockymont  I  ever  see,’  sez  Paw. 
‘I  see  they  made  you  buy  a  suit  for  your¬ 
self  in  the  first  place — is  that  the  one 
you’ve  got  on?  Well,  it’d  be  dear  at 
half  the  price.  Then  they  agree  to  pay 
you  a  salary  of  $100  a  month  and  a 
commission  of  20  per  cent,  on  all  goods 
you  sell  above  $400  a  month.  Pretty 
cute !  They  know  you  nor  no  other  man 
can  sell  $400  worth  of  their  goods  in  a 
month — they  aint  makin’  goods  to  sell — 
they  aint  makin’  clothes  to  fit,  either. 
Their  clothes  are  simply  a  bait  for  your 
good  money.  If  you  sell  less  than  $400 
worth  a  month,  they  have  the  right  to 
order  you  to  Chicago,  to  take  a  course 
in  salesmanship — at  your  own  expense. 
So  there’s  no  danger  of  their  ever  having 
to  payroll  a  salary.  That  contract  aint 
worth  the  paper  it’s  printed  on.  If  yon 
aint  any  objection,  I’ll  retain  this  docu¬ 
ment  for  the  present — we'll  call  it  exhibit 
A,  as  the  lawyers  say.  How  many  orders 
have  you  taken?’ 
“Rol  took  out  his  order-book.  ‘Eleven,’ 
he  sez. 
“  'How  much  docs  that  foot  up?’ 
“  ‘$260.’ 
“  ‘now  many  fits?’ 
“  ‘None,  so  far,  except  my  own.’ 
“‘Just  as  I  expected,’  sez  Paw.  ‘Now 
Roland,  my  boy,  I  hope  you  see  by  this 
time  that  you’ve  got  mixed  up  in  a 
crooked  deal.  Drop  the  whole  thing  like 
a  hot  pertater  and  let  ’em  do  their  worst. 
They  can’t  do  a  thing  to  you — that  con¬ 
tract  is  a  bluff — but  you  could  do  a  lot 
to  them  if  you  could  afford  it.  You 
can't,  so  let  it  drop.’ 
“Rol  thought  it  over,  then  he  got  up. 
"  'I  ain't  ready  to  quit  yet,'  he  says. 
“Me’n  Paw  was  drivin’  by  his  place 
a  few  days  later,  and  he  had  a  big  bill¬ 
board  out  iu  front,  all  covered  with  pic¬ 
tures  of  men  in  new  suits,  and  bills  tollin’ 
about  the  elegant  clothes  manufactured 
by  the  Universal  Supply  Co.,  Chicago., 
Roland  B.  Smith,  County  Agent. 
"Pretty  good.  Paw,"  I  sez.  “He  shook 
his  head.  ‘Poor  Roland,’  he  sez,  'lie’s 
got  it  bad.  I  see  he’s  advertisin’  in  the 
county  paper.  Well,  he’ll  have  to  lose 
that  much  and  charge  it  up  to  experi¬ 
ence.’ 
“  ‘Mister  Barlow !'  somebody  called.  I 
looked  back,  and  it  was  Rol's  wife.  Paw 
pulled  up,  and  she  come  runuin’  down 
to  us. 
“  ‘Don’t  you  stay  out  here  in  the  cold, 
Fannie,’  Taw  sez.  'We’ll  drive  on  the 
barn  floor  and  come  in  the  house.’  When 
we  went  in  she  was  most  a  oryin’. 
“  ‘Ezry,’  she  sez,  ‘I  wish  you’d  get 
Roland  to  drop  this  crazy  clothiu’  busi¬ 
ness.  He’d  take  more  from  you  than  any¬ 
body  I  know  of — he's  never  forgot  how 
good  you  and  Mary  were  to  his  father 
and  mother,  when  they  were  sick — and 
him  away  from  home,  know  in’  nothin’ 
“  'How  d’you  like  ’em,  Mis’  Moreland?’  about  it  till  it  was  all  over.  I  tried  my 
sez  he.  best  to  keep  him  out  of  it,  and  now  I’ve 
“  ‘Well,’  sez  she,  ‘if  that’s  a  casket,  tried  lo  got  him  to  drop  it.  hut  he  won’t 
I  like  it  firstrate !  I  don't  see  no  handles,  listen  to  me.  Well,  I’m  partly  to 
nor  no  name  plate,  but  I  s’pose  they  blame,  anyway — I  just  hate  livin’  in  the 
come  extry.  The  only  objection  I  can  country.’ 
see  is  that  I  aint  quite  ready  to  bury  “‘As  long  as  you  feel  that,  way,  Fan- 
Bill  yet.  I  was  kinder  resigned  to  put-  nie,’  Paw  sez,  ‘Roland  ’ll  never  amount 
tin’  up  with  him  a  while  longer — say,  to  anything.  A  house  divided  against 
twenty-five  or  thirty  years.’  itself  can’t  stand.  You’ve  got  to  he  one, 
“Rol  had  the  same  trouble  with  three  and  the  first  thing  to  do  it  to  find  out 
or  four  more  suits,  so  he  bundled  ’em  up  which  one.  If  it’s  Roland,  you’ve  got  to 
and  sent  ’em  hack  to  be  altered.  Then  learn  to  like  the  country.  If  it’s  you, 
he  comes  over  to  see  Paw  again.  ’Fore  then  he  must  give  up  tin-  farm,  and, 
lie  could  git  in  a  word  edgeways,  Raw  mebbe,  lie’ll  get  to  be  as  good  at  sutnpin’ 
told  him  he  wa'nt  iu  the  market  for  else  as  lie  used  to  bo  at  farmin’.  But 
made-to-order  suits  at  present,  and,  any-  about  this  clothiu’  deal — the  only  way 
how,  he  didn’t  want  to  pile  up  any  more  I  see  now  is  to  let  the  fever  run  its 
trouble  for  him— the  way  he  looked  at  course.  It  won’t  hurt  him  very  badly — 
it,  the  more  orders  Rol  got  the  worse  I’ll  see  to  that — and  he’ll  have  the  ex- 
hft’d.  be  off.  perience  when  he  gits  through.’ 
“That  made  Rol  mad.  ‘Why,  I’ve  got  “He  looked  at  her  hard,  and  she  looked 
my  contract!’  he  sez.  ‘Even  if  ’twant  a  just  as  hard  at  him.  He  sez,  ‘Fannie, 
reliable  firm  that’d  protect  me.’,  can  you  trust  me?  She  nodded  her 
“  'If  you’ve  got  that  contract  on  you,  head. 
I’d  like  to  see  it,’  sez  Paw.  “  ‘Then,’  he  sez,  ‘stand  to  oue  side  and 
“He  handed  it  over — it  was  a  serious-  let  him  see  this  thing  through.  Also 
lookin’  thing.  Paw  read  it  over  real  hand  over  to  me  every  scrap  of  paper 
careful,  then  handed  it  back.  from  them  cutthroats — when  I  go  huntin’ 
“Rol  waited,  but  Paw  kep’  on  sayin’  I  like  plenty  of  ammunition.’ 
nothin’,  (Continued  on  page  120) 
A  Business  Venture 
As  Related  by  Jimmie  Barlow 
By  Harry  Ayres 
is  as  good  as  mine — I  think  its  in  the  around  to  measure  lnm  for  a  suit  yet. 
State  of  Buncombe,  however,  we’ll  let  “Paw  told  him,  ‘No.’ 
that  go,  for  the  present — also  the  iu-  “  ‘Well,  don’t  let  him !’  sez  Bill.  ‘F 
formation  that  you’ve  got  to  hustle  or  got  my  order — though  I  couldn’t  vei 
else  somebody  ’ll  git  in  ahead  of  you,  well  afford  it,  just  now.  But  I  though 
though  it  does  seem  a  waste  of  good  he’n’  a  neighbor,  and  they  guaranteei: 
money  to  advertise  for  agents  when  peo-  a  fit  or  no  pay,  I'd  stretch  a  p'int  in  h 
pie  are  failin’  over  one  another  to  grab  favor.  I  picked  out  a  twenty-five  dolls 
the  job.  Lemrne  see  their  letter.’  suit  and  he  took  my  measure.  I’ll  swei 
“He  read  it  over  and  laid  it  down.  be  took  it  right,  ’cause  I  got  my  measur 
“  ‘Anything  else?'  he  asked.  meut  in  my  diary  siuce  Charlie  Wei 
“  ‘There's  a  hook  of  samples,  but  I  measured  me  for  my  last  one.  Je 
left  ’em  home,’  Rol  sez.  ‘But  what  about  rusalern !  I  wish  you'd  seen  that  su 
their  letter?’  when  it  come!  I  don’t  call  myself  i 
“  ‘Well,  it's  got  a  real  pretty  headin’  on  Adonis,  but  I  ’low  a.  suit  made  to  ord< 
it.’  Paw  sez,  'That  flag  with  ‘Universal  ought  to  hit  me  somewhere.  Near  as 
Supply  Co.’  on  it,  floatin’  over  the  Ma-  could  eal-late,  they’d  built  that  suit  c 
sonic  Temple,  is  a  work  of  art — I  a  sawbuck,  accordin’  to  plans  and  spec 
wouldn’t  wonder  if  that  cut  cost  ’em  a  fications  laid  out.  for  one  o’  these  hei 
dollar.’  bungalows  you  see  iu  the  magazine 
“‘That  aint  the  Masonic  Temple!  Mebbe  Rol  would  a  talked  me  ini 
That’s  their  headquarters  buildin’  in  takin’  it  agin  my  own  judgment — he  moi 
Chicago,’  Rol  told  him.  shed  tears — but  after  we’d  got  the] 
“  ‘Mebbe  so — mebbe  so.’  sez  Paw.  garments  draped  around  my  noble  fori 
‘What  does  Fannie  think  about  it?’  I  called  Maud  in.  She  looked  at  me,  an 
“  ‘That’s  it !  Now  you’ve  hit  it,’  sez  thou  she  looked  at  Rol. 
They  were  guaranteed  to  fit  ‘  like  the  paper  on  the  wall 
Rol.  “She’s  oilers  wishin’  I’d  quit 
farmin,’  but  when  I  strike  for  something 
else  she  oilers  finds  a  hole  somewhere. 
Why,  she  don’t  even  believe  what  it  says 
in  the  ad.  about  II.  I>.  Grant  of  Wis¬ 
consin  makin’  $70  in  two  days,  and 
Thomas  Flynn  of  Nebraska  earnin’  $221 
in  one  week.  ‘How  d’you  know  they's 
any  such  people?’  she  sez.  I  told  her 
they  dassent  print  it  in  the  paper  if 
’twant  so!’ 
“‘No,’  Paw  sez,  'they  wouldn’t  dare 
print  it.  in  such  a  truthful  paper  as  the 
Fanner's  Friend.  It's  too  bad  George 
Washington  aint  alive  now — they’d  make 
him  oditor-in-clnef.  Is  that  all  she  said?’ 
“‘No.  She  wants  me  to  buy  out  a. 
feed  mill  somewhere,  or  sutnpin’  like  that 
— she  sez  she  notices  that  most  all  feed- 
men  make  money.’ 
“  ‘Er-lnim,’  Paw  sez,  ‘she’s  a  long  way 
from  bein’  a  fool.  Well,  Roland,  my  ad¬ 
vice— if  it's  worth  anything  to  you — is  to 
drop  this  agency  business  and  buy  that 
feed  mill,  or  take  a  lumbering  contract. 
Either  one  will  give  you  lots  to  worry 
over,  and  they’ll  bring  you  in  more 
money.’ 
“He  went  off  at  that,  and  we  heard 
no  more  about  it  till  Bill  Moreland 
asked  Paw  one  day  if  Roland  had  been 
