C7>e  RURAL.  NEW-YORKER 
129 
A  Business  Venture 
(Concluded  from  page  120) 
"It  was  gettiu'  kinder  late,  so  Paw 
let  tlie  team  out.  We  was  makin’  pretty 
good  time,  when  who  should  we  meet 
but  Charlie  and  Mabel  Talcott.  Charlie 
pulled  up — so,  course,  Paw  had  to. 
"Charlie  begins  right  oil:' — "Say,  Ezry, 
you  seen  any  o’  these  glad  rags  Roland's 
unloadin’  on  this  long-sufferin’  communi¬ 
ty'!1  Xo?  Well,  I’ve  got  a  suit  up  home 
you  can  hare  for  carryin*  away — per- 
vidin*  your  team  'll  stand  long  enough 
for  you  to  get  ’em  in  the  wagon.  Noisy? 
They’re  got  a  talkin’  machine  beat  a  mile 
for  noise,  and  that’s  what  spile’s  ’em  for 
Imss-lilaukets.  Funny  thing  is,  he  sent 
’em  back  to  be  altered ;  and  the  only 
thing  they  altered  was  the  pattern — 
this  olio  is  twice  as  loud  as  the  first. 
They  aiut  becomiu’  to  my  style  of  beauty 
at  all.  If  I  was  a  prize-fighter,  now,  or 
one  o’  them  toughs  down  on  Water 
street  in  Riverton,  mebbe  I  could  get 
away  with  it;  but  I’d  never  dare  go  into 
the  barn  with  them  florins  on — they’d 
all  be  up  onto  their  hind  legs  to  once. 
I  dassofit  wear  ’em  to  church,  neither — 
nobody'd  hear  a  word  the  preacher  said. 
You  don't  want  that  suit,  liey?  Well,  s’ 
long’s  I  got  them  clothes  I  won't  need  to 
pizen  my  seed  corn — the  crows  ’ll  drop 
dead  the  minute  they  see  ’em  out  in  the 
lot.  Giddap !’ 
“We'd  most  got  home,  then  Ward 
Jackson  come  along.  Paw  was  sayin’  lie 
hoped  to  goodness  he  wouldn't  stop  us; 
but  he  did. 
"  ‘Ezry,’  sez  he,  ‘you  wa’nt  cal’latin’ 
to  buy  a  suit  o’  clothes,  was  you?’ 
"  'Not  that  I’ve  heard  of,’  Paw  sez ; 
‘why  V 
"  'Well,’  he  sez.  'I  got  a  suit  to  home 
that  I’d  like  to  wish  on  to  somebody. 
It’s  this-a-way — Rol  Smith  talked  me 
into  girin*  him  a  order  for  a  suit  made 
to  order — guaranteed  to  fit  or  .no  pay. 
Judgin’  from  the  way  it  looked  when  he 
brought  it  up.  they  sort  o’  strike  a  gin’ral 
av’rage  on  each  hundred  measurements 
and  tlmn  chop  out  the  hull  hundred  to 
once  with  a  ax.  Next,  they  sew  ’em  to¬ 
gether  in  a  thrasbin’  machine,  run  a 
steam  roller  over  ’em  a  few  times,  and 
when  they  git  through  they’ve  got  a 
hundred  suits  made  to  order.  Then  some 
feller  that’s  color-blind  sorts  'em  over, 
and  wlmii  he  strikes  the  one  that’s  the 
least  like  the  one  you  ordered  he  sticks 
your  tag  on  and  ships  it.  Fit  1  There’s 
five  men  up  to  our  place,  includin’  the 
hired  man,  and  that  suit  don't  come 
within  nine  rows  of  apple  trees  o’  fittin’ 
.a  single  one  of  us.  The  Highest  we  come 
to  a  fit  was  when  .less  and  his  boy  both 
got  into  it  at  once  even  then  it  was  a 
trifle  baggy  around  the  waist.  ’F  you 
want  that  suit,  send  Jimmie  up.  and  I’ll 
give  him  ten  cents  for  can-yin’  it  away. 
No?  Well,  so  long.’ 
’’Well,  we  finely  did  git  home.  Hut 
as  Paw  sez.  trouble  was  waitin’  for  us 
just  inside  the  door.  Henry  sez,  ‘I’ll 
unhitch  the  team,  Father;  there’s  some¬ 
body  waitin’  to  see  you.*  So  I  went  in, 
too.  It  was  old  Mis’  Remon.  She  didn’t 
wait  to  pass  the  time  o’  day,  but  sailed 
right  in. 
"'Oh,  Ezry  Barlow!’  she  Sez.  ‘To 
think  I  should  live  to  see  the  time  when 
one  o’  my  own  kin  would  swindle  my 
poor  Jonadab!  That  good-for-imthin’ 
Rol  Smith  has  sawed  off  on  to  him  a 
bundle  o’  cheap  rags  and  charged  him 
for  a  suit  of  clothes.  As  true  as  my 
name’s  Elizabeth  Ann  Lemon,  I  wouldn’t 
try  to  wish  them  clothes  on  to  my  worst 
enemy!  Twenty-seven-fifty  he  charged 
him  for  ’em,  and  they  wouldn't  bring 
twenty-seven  cents  iu  a  rummage  sale! 
And  liim  Jonadab's  first  cousin  !  I’m  a 
church  member,  Ezry,  anil  I  hope  and 
trust  I’m  sincere ;  but  as  sure  as  I'm 
alive,  if  my  poor  husband  was  back 
again  and  should  swear  like  I  know  he 
would,  I  couldn’t  find  it  in  my  heart  to 
rebuke  him.  When  lid's  father  and 
mother  died,  and  he  come  back  to  a 
empty  and  desolate  home,  I  took  him  to 
my  bosom  and  cherished  him  like  lie  was 
my  own.  Now  see  how  he  repays  me! 
lie  knows,  and  you  know,  and  1  know, 
that  poor  Jonadab  don’t  know  the  first 
thing  about  the  vally  of  a  dollar.  A  slick 
agent  could  talk  him  into  buy  in’  a  ton  of 
wooden  toothpicks — <>n  time.  And  that's 
what  Pol's  been  bankin’  on!  lie’s  a 
swindler — a  low-down  thief.  I  disown 
him  from  this  minute!  If  he  ever  darkens 
my  door  again,  I’ll — ’ 
“  ‘Now  go  careful,  Mis’  Lemon,’  Paw 
sez.  'With  whatsoever  judgment  you 
mete,  it  shall  be  measured  to  you  again, 
Roland  is  an  honest  man — mind,  I  don’t 
say  he’s  a  wise  one;  but  he’ll  be  wiser 
when  he  gits  through  with  this — and 
you  can  take  my  word  for  it  that  he'll 
make  good  every  veil  cent  that  Jonadab 
or  anybody  else  is  out  on  this  deal, 
There’s  somebody  back  of  all  this  that 
aiut  honest,  though,  and  if  I  had  him 
here  I'd  take  considerable  pleasure  in 
drivin’  his  backbone  out  through  the  top 
of  his  head — but  that's  neither  here  nor 
there.  Y~ou  can  rostnssured  that  Jonadab 
’ll  cnme  out  o’  this  all  right.’ 
“  ‘Well,  Ezry,’  she  sez,  ‘if  you  say  so 
I’ve  got  to  believe  it ;  though  I  must  say 
its  a  little  beyond  me — you  aiut  goin’  to 
put  up  the  money  for  it  yourself,  are 
you  ?’ 
"‘No!’  sez  Paw;  ‘and  that’s  all  T  can 
tell  you — now.  Yon  just  have  faith,  and 
it  ’ll  all  come  out  right.’ 
"After  she  went.  Maw  went  over  and 
sat  on  his  lap.  Site  smoothed  his  hair 
back,  and  then  she  kissed  him — I  was 
glad  ’t'v’ant  me!  lie  commenced  to  grin, 
and  she  grinned.  Then  he  laughed  right 
•  nit.  and  she  done  the  same.  Finally,  lie 
haw-haws  like  everything,  jumps  up, 
grabs  her  around  the  waist,  and  dances 
Ini'  all  around  the  kitehiu — honest,  I  was 
'shamed  of  ’em. 
"Well,  ’s  I  said.  Roland  was  to  our 
house  yisterday.  He  ’lowed  the  Universal 
Supply  Co.  was  a  gang  of  swindlers; 
and,  as  a  honest  man,  there  wan't  nothin’ 
for  him  to  do  but  pay  every  man  back 
his  money  and  stand  the  loss  hisself. 
“  ‘I  wish  I’d  listened  to  you  in  the 
first  place,  Ezry,’  he  sez. 
‘“You  will,  next  time,’  Paw  sez.  'Nov 
we'll  straighten  this  matter  out — how 
much  money  have  you  sent  'em?’ 
"  ‘$28-1.12.’ 
"Paw  pulled  out  a  long  envelope.  Out 
o’  that  In-  pulled  a  check,  and  looked  at  it. 
"  ‘C’rect,’  he  sez,  and  passed  it  over. 
“  ‘W — what’s  this?’  sez  Rol. 
‘“Aiut  it  a  chock  for  $284.12?’  Paw 
asked  him. 
“  ‘Y— yes !’ 
“  ‘Put  it  in  your  pocket,’  Paw  sez. 
“Rul  sat  there,  swallerin’  hard  and 
waitin’  for  Paw  to  say  sumpin.  Finely, 
lie  sez,  ‘Gee-whiz!  Ezry,  tell  me  all  about 
it,  ’fore  I  bust!’ 
"So  Paw  told  us  all.  Soem's  lie  mis¬ 
trusted  there  was  sump’n  rotten  in  Den¬ 
mark  from  the  start — that’s  how  he  tells 
it — so  he  wrote  to  Uncle  William  Barlow 
in  Chicago.  Uncle  William's  a  lawyer, 
lie  looked  up  the  Universal  Supply  Go., 
and  found  it  was  two  crooks — one  named 
Goldstein  and  the  other  Lemberg.  Them 
was  their  names  for  the  time  bcin,’  any¬ 
how.  They  had  a  office-room  on  the 
twentieth  floor  of  the  Doodlesock  buildin’ 
ami  the  hull  Doodlesock  buildin’  on  their 
.stationery.  Their  stock-in-trade  was  two 
chairs  ami  a  table,  a  buttle  of  ink  and 
two  liens,  a  spittoon  and  a  package  o’ 
cigarettes,  an  immense  woolen  factory 
on  paper  and  an  unlimited  amount  o’ 
pure  gall — that’s  the  way  Uncle  William 
put  it. 
"He  sez  he  could  either  have  ’em  put 
in  jail  and  lose  Kid’s  money,  or  save  the 
money  and  run  ’em  out  of  business — 
for  a  while,  lie  sez  they'll  sot  up  again 
before  long,  and  when  they  do  lie’ll  put 
’em  where  they  belong.  So  he  took  the 
papers  Paw  sent 
and  c 
ailed 
when 
he 
was 
sure 
he'd  find  ’em  in. 
He  didn’t 
nee 
(1  to 
tell 
’em  who  ho 
w  og¬ 
-he’d 
sent 
on 
‘  of 
V'  ITT 
in  Juliet  bef 
ive. 
They 
handed 
over 
1  he 
money  wi  tin » 
it  ;l 
peep, 
and 
he 
give 
’em 
out:  hour  to 
wind  up 
the  business. 
He 
sez  they  list 
d  to 
SO 
>ut  and 
buy 
1  si  in 
l-me-downs  to  fill 
urde 
rs  wi 
th. 
and 
ever 
V  cent  they 
got 
over 
three 
dollars 
w  us 
clear  money. 
•1 
’urtbermore, 
Uncle  William 
S<‘Z 
as 
a  result  of  this  case,  the  Fanner’ s  Friend 
is  goin'  to  be  excluded  from  the  mails, 
and  he’s  goin’  to  stay  right  on  the  job 
till  its  done. 
“Well,  sir!  Mister  Holcomb,  I  wisht 
you  could  a  seen  Rol  Siliith.  I  bet  ten 
eentsh  it  ’lid  a  cured  your  grippe  better’ll 
any  med’eine.” 
“We  want  some  one  to  play  Samson,” 
explained  the  movie  manager.  “Do  you 
think  you  could  wreck  the  temple?” 
"Can  TV  Well.  I’ve  been  a  baggageman 
fur  eleven  years.” — Buffalo  Express. 
Every  milk  can  will 
be  sweet  and  sanitary 
if  you  always  use 
Old  Dutch 
Old  Dutch 
Cleanser 
MONEY  IN  HONEY  gg 
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The  Wheat  Yield 
TeSIs  the  Story 
of  Western  Canada’s  Rapid  Progress 
The  heavy  crops  in  Western  Canada  have  caused  new 
records  to  he  made  in  the  handling  of  grains  by  railroads. 
For  while  the  movement  of  these  heavy  shipments  has 
been  wonderfully  rapid,  the  resources  of  the  different 
roads,  despite  enlarged  equipments  and  increased  facili* 
ties,  have  been  strained  as  never  before,  and  previous 
recoids  have  thus  been  broken  in  all  directions. 
The  largest  Canadian  wheat  shipments  through  New  York 
ever  known  arc  reported  lor  the  period  up  to  October  15th, 
upwards  of  four  And  a  quarter  million  bushels  being  exported  in  less  than  six  weeks, 
and  this  was  but  the  overflow  of  shipments  to  Montreal,  through  which  pointship- 
ments  were  much  larger  than  to  New  York. 
Yi'  Ids  as  high  as  60  bushels  of  wheat  per  acre  are  reported  from  all  parts  of  the 
country;  while  yiclrfn  uf  40  bushels  per  acre  are  common. 
Thousands  of  American  formers  have  taken  part  in  this  wonderful  production.  Land 
r  „ prices  arc  fit  ill  low  and  free  homestead  lands  are  easily  secured  in  good 
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