HUMOROUS 
Now  doth  the  village  blacksmith 
Wax  opulent,  for  he 
Sells  gasoline  to  motorists 
Beneath  the  chestnut  tree, 
And  should  a  chugging  passerby 
His  services  require, 
He  sets  a  troubled  engine  right, 
Or  deftly  mends  a  tire, 
— Birmingham  Age-Herald. 
Wilkins  :  "What's  that  string  on  your 
finger  for?”  Bilkins:  “My  wife  put  it  on 
to  remind  me  to  post  her  letter.”  Wilkins : 
“Did  you  do  it?”  Bilkins:  “No;  she  for¬ 
got  to  give  it  to  me.” — Judge. 
Old  Gentleman  :  "Well,  my  boy,  and 
when  does  your  birthday  come?”  Boy 
(who  has  been  cautioned  not  to  fisb  for 
presents)  :  “Oh,  it  passed  by  a  long  time 
ago — a  year  next  Saturday.” — Melbourne 
Leader. 
Blinkers  “I  woke  up  last  night  with 
the  feeling  that  my  new  gold  watch  was 
gone.  The  impression  w’as  so  strong  that 
I  got  up  to  look.”  Junker:  “Well,  was 
it  gone?”  Blinker:  “No.  but  it  was  go¬ 
ing!" — Credit  Lost. 
Goldsmith:  “Would  you  like  any 
name  or  motto  engraved  on  it,  sir?"  Cus¬ 
tomer  (who  has  chosen  an  engagement 
ring)  :  “Ye-yes-nm, — ‘Augustus  to  Irene.’ 
And — ha — look  here.  don’t — ah — cut 
Irene  very  deep." — Punch. 
“The  car  I  use  today  I’ve  been  using 
steadily  for  six  years.  It  has  taken  me 
to  my  office  in  town  and  back,  and  it 
hasn’t  cost  me  one  cent,  for  repairs  yet." 
“What  a  record  !  What  car  is  it?”  “The 
street  car.”- — Boston  Transcript. 
.Sunday  School  Teacher:  “Did  you 
ever  forgive  an  enemy?”  Tommy  TuIFnut : 
“Oncest.”  Sunday  School  Teacher :  “And 
what  noble  sentiment  prompted  you  to 
do  it?"  Tommy  Tuffnut:  “He  was  big¬ 
ger  dan  me.” — Life. 
They  were  out  motoring  the  other  day, 
and  he  bid  defiance  to  all  police  traps. 
“We’re  going  at  50  miles  an  hour !”  he 
said.  “Are  you  brave?”  She  (swallow¬ 
ing  another  pint  of  dust)  :  “Yes,  dear. 
I'm  full  of  grit.” — New  York  Sun. 
*“Tite  varra  pest  music  I  never  heard 
whatever  was  doun  at  Jamie  Maelaugh- 
lan’s,”  said  the  West  Highlander. 
“There  were  fifteen  o’  us  pipers  in  the 
woe  -hack  parlor,  all  playin’  different 
chuncs.  I  thoc-ht  I  was  floatin’  in 
Heevin!” — Credit  Lost. 
Mabel;  “How  do  von  like  my  new 
gown,  grandmamma?”  Grandmamma :  “I 
don't.  In  my  days  girls  wore  one-button 
gloves,  and  gowns  buttoned  up  to  the 
neck.  Now  they  wear  one-button  gowns 
and  gloves  buttoned  up  to  the  neck. — 
Melbourne  Leader. 
For  a  five-year-old,  Margie  had  trav¬ 
eled  a  great  deal.  One  day  her  aunt  re¬ 
marked,  “Through  all  her  travels  Margie 
seems  quite  happy  and  contented.” 
“Ycs’m,”  answered  Margie.  ‘‘No  matter 
where  I  go  I  always  find  some  dirt  to  play 
in.” — Ch risti a n  Register. 
An  elderly  church  warden,  in  shaving 
himself  one  Sunday  before  church  time, 
made  a  slight  cut  with  the  razor  on  the 
extreme  end  of  his  nose.  Quickly  calling 
his  wife,  he  asked  her  if  she  had  any 
court-plaster  in  the  house.  "You  will 
find  some  in  my  sewing  basket,”  she  said. 
The  warden  soon  had  the  cut  covered. 
At  the  church,  in  assisting  with  the  col¬ 
lection,  he  noticed  every  one  smile  as  he 
passed  the  plate,  and  some  of  the  younger 
people  laughed  outright.  Very  much  an¬ 
noyed,  he  asked  a  friend  if  there  was 
anything  wrong  with  his  appearance. 
“Well,  I  should  think  there  is,”  was  the 
answer.  "What  is  that  on  your  nose?” 
“Court-plaster.”  "No,”  said  his  friend, 
"It  is  the  label  of  a  spool  of  cotton.  It 
says  ‘Warranted  200  yards  long.’  ” — 
Pittsburgh  Chronicle-Telegraph. 
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Maxwell  Motor  Cars  offer  no 
fads,  no  innovations,  no  eye¬ 
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We  could  build  cars  of  two  or 
three  different  sizes.  We  could 
make  any  and  every  kind  of  an 
engine  that  has  ever  been  tried 
out  on  a  patient  and  unsuspecting 
public. 
We  could  constantly  make 
changes,  bring  out  new,  revo¬ 
lutionary  and  untried  models  to 
stimulate  interest  for  the  passing 
moment. 
But  we  do  not  do  these  things 
and  we  will  not.  Because  we 
don’t  have  to.  Because  our  car 
is  sought  solely  on  its  solid,  sub¬ 
stantial  and  demonstrated  merits. 
Maxwell  Motor  Cars  are  stan¬ 
dardized  products.  They  repre¬ 
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tity.  They  are  as  nearly  a  staple 
commodity  as  any  automobile 
can  be. 
In  all  basic  details  the  Maxwell 
of  last  year  was  the  same  as  the 
present  Maxwell.  And  the  Max¬ 
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tially  the  same  as  its  predecessor. 
Of  course,  we  are  continually 
experimenting,  testing  and  taking 
advantage  of  the  progress  made  in 
the  engineering  and  metallurgical 
sciences.  But  we  know  and  Max¬ 
well  owners  know  that  our  car,  in 
its  class,  is  the  finished  and  recog¬ 
nized  standard  of  value. 
The  Maxwell  policy  of  concen¬ 
trating  on  one  and  only  one 
car,  of  devoting  every  energy  and 
resource  to  such  minor  improve¬ 
ments  as  time  may  develop,  as¬ 
sures  you  of  two  things — that  you 
will  never  suffer  any  abnormal 
loss  by  the  introduction  of  a 
cheap  car,  made  only  to  sell 
rather  than  to  serve,  and  that 
when  buying  a  Maxwell  you  will 
always  be  able  to  get  the  greatest 
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