“A  M  AN  flat's  world  n’  hard  try  in’  to  re¬ 
form  hisself,"  said  Uncle  Ebon,  “don’  seem 
to  Kit  uigli  so  much  incouragement  and  ap- 
plause  as  do  man  dat  gits  tip  on  a  plat¬ 
form  an’  scolds  folks  in  general.” — Wash¬ 
ington  Star. 
“Dm  y.  t  say  these  peas  were  from 
your  own  garden?”  asked  the  Summer 
hoarder.  “Yes.  si  roe,”  replied  the  land¬ 
lord.  “Picked  ’em  myself  early  this 
when  you  pick  them?”  inquired  the  board¬ 
er,  removing  a  piece  of  solder  from  be¬ 
tween  his  teeth. — Topeka  Journal. 
A  little  girl  now  eight  years  old  had 
been  the  pot  of  the  family.  Every  one 
made  mneh  of  her,  hut  when  there  was 
a  new  little  baby  brother  she  felt  rather 
neglected.  “IIow  are  you,  Mary?”  a  vis¬ 
itor  asked  of  her  one  afternoon,  “Oh, 
I'm  all  right,”  she  said,  “except  that  I 
think  there  is  too  much  competition  in 
this  world.” — About  Town. 
Five-year-old  Willie  often  played  with 
a  neighbor  boy,  John.  One  rainy  day 
the  two  were  just  starting  across  the 
clean  kitchen  floor  at  Willie’s  home  when 
the  latter’s  mother,  noting  their  muddy 
shoes,  headed  them  off  and  sent  them  out 
to  play  on  the  porch.  There  the  follow¬ 
ing  conversation  took  place :  “My  mother 
don’t  care  how  much  I  run  over  the 
kitchen  flooi*,”  said  John.  There  was  a 
long  interval  of  silence.  Then  Willie  I 
said :  “I  wish  I  had  a  nice  dirty  mother 
like  you’ve  got!” — Pathfinder. 
• 
A  Swede  was  being  examined  in  a  case 
in  a  Minnesota  town  where  the  defend¬ 
ant  was  accused  of  breaking  a  plate- 
glass  window  with  a  large  stone.  He  was 
pressed  to  tell  how  big  the  stone  was, 
but  he  could  not  explain.  “Was  it  as  big 
as  my  fist?”  asked  the  nervous  judge, 
who  had  taken  over  the  examination  from 
the  lawyers,  in  the  hope  of  getting  some 
results.  “It  ban  bigger,”  the  Swede  re¬ 
plied,  “Was  it  as  big  a.s  my  two  fists?” 
“It  ban  bigger,”  “Was  it  as  big  as  my 
head?”  “It  ban  about  as  long,  but  not 
so  thick,”  replied  the  Swede,  amid  the 
laughter  of  the  court. — St.  Paul  Pioneer- 
Press. 
A  man  from  the  North  was  enjoying 
the  excitement  of  a  bear  hupt  down  in 
Mississippi.  The  bear  was  surrounded  in 
a  small  thicket.  The  dogs  could  not  get 
I  he  bear  out,  and  the  planter  who  was  at 
the  head  of  the  hunt  called  to  one  of  the 
negroes:  “Sam,  go  in  there  and  get  the 
hear  out.”  The  negro  hesitated  for  a 
moment  and  then  plunged  into  the  cane. 
A  few  moments  later  the  negro,  the  bear 
and  the  dogs  were  rolling  upon  the 
ground,  outside.  After  the  hunt  was 
over,  the  visitor  said  to  the  negro :  “  Were 
you  not  afraid  to  go  into  the  thicket  with 
that  bear?”  “Cap’n,”  replied  the  negro, 
“it  was  jest  dis  way:  I  neber  had  met 
dat  b'ar,  but  I  was  pussonally  ’q (minted 
wid  de  old  boss,  so  I  jest  naturally  took 
dat  b’ar. — Toronto  Sun. 
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