1346 
October  21,  1D1G. 
Cfee  RURAL  NEW-YORKER 
The  Pastoral  Parson  on  the  Lonely  Road 
Some  Home  Farm  Experiences 
By  Rev.  Geo.  B.  Gilbert 
Experiences  In  Delivering  The 
Goods. — “That  man  over  in  Hartford 
wants  some  more  buttermilk  the  worst 
way,”  said  the  Pastoral  Parson  to  his 
wife  one  day,  “and  I  guess  I  will  try  to 
take  up  some.”  The  parson  had  to  go 
.  over  to  give  a  stercopticon  lecture,  and 
had  to  carry  on  th<*  trolley  a  large  box 
with  the  lantern,  a  heavy  gas  tank,  a  grip 
with  the  slides  and  this  six-quart  can  of 
buttermilk.  This  man  was  a  friend  of 
ours,  and  being  filled  with  the  spirit  of 
cutting  out  the  middlemen,  I  thought  I 
ought  to  take  the  buttermilk  along.  The 
can  had  a  hale  to  it  to  carry  it  by;  and 
also  a  cover  with  a  small  handle  on  it. 
When  I  went  to  alight  from  the  car 
right  in  the  center  of  the  city,  I  said  to 
a  man  near  me,  “My  hands  are  pretty 
frill  and  I  want  to  get  off  the  next  stop. 
I  will  take  this  box  and  iron  tank  if 
you  will  kindly  bring  that  grip  and  can 
to  the  door  and  hand  them  to  me.”  lie 
readily  consented.  I  alighted  with  my 
load  but  he,  alack,  was  not  so  successful 
I  turned  around  to  the  car  to  see  with 
horror  that  he  was  carrying  the  butter¬ 
milk  can  high  in  the  air  by  means  of 
the  little  handle  on  the  cover !  At  the 
precise  instant  lie  got  it  right  over  the 
iron  threshold  of  the  car  door,  the  cover 
and  can  parted  company !  The  can  dc- 
were  too  poor  for  her  to  buy.  Then  she 
nearly  had  a  fit ;  but  I  stuck  to  it.  Once 
she  g"t  two  dozen  from  the  hoys,  but 
that  ended  it. 
Fat  11k. ns.' — Another  woman  used  to 
buy  hens,  always  wanting  fat  ones.  She 
went  on  the  principle  that  it  was  unwise 
ever  to  admit  a  thing  was  good.  There 
are  many  of  her  class.  No  matter  how 
nice  and  plump  the  hens  were,  at  the 
best  they  were  only  “fair.”  So  I  told 
her  that,  my  fowls  were  too  poor  for  her, 
and  I  could  readily  sell  them  elsewhere. 
I  also  told  her  that  it  was  much  easier 
for  me  to  sell  in  a  bunch  to  the  dealers, 
but  that  I  believed  in  cutting  out  the 
middleman  where  he  was  not  necessary 
and  thus  saving  money  for  both  of  ua 
She  was  so  penitent  that  I  have  since 
sold  her  some  fowls  as  I  had  occasion. 
These  people  seem  to  think  it  is  a  great 
favor  to  the  farmer  to  have  them  buy 
his  goods.  The  quicker  they  get  over 
this  the  bettor. 
At  The  Office. — One  woman  referred 
me  to  her  husband’s  office  for  my  money. 
I  was  to  get  a  check  there  every  month. 
This  was  certainly  the  real  thing.  I 
went  in  with  bill  in  hand.  Then  this 
great  business  man  began  after  this 
fashion :  “Whew !  but  stuff  is  high ! 
ll<m  are  we  going  to  live?  Eggs,  45, 
Lost  $500. — Yes,  that  is  what  I  un- 
derstand  it  cost  a  woman  w  ho  leased  out 
to  a  club  of  rich  city  men  the  privilege 
of  hunting  and  fishing  on  her  laud.  It 
served  her  just  right,  and  would  that 
many  would  profit  from  her  experience. 
The  value  of  the  fishing  and  hunting  and 
trapping  on  a  farm  cannot  be  estimated 
in  dollars  and  cents — the  value  to  the 
boys  on  the  farm.  It  is  what  the  boy 
loves  from  his  natural  heart,  and  it  is 
just  about  all  he  has  anyway.  Then  out 
come  these  big  city  chaps  in  their  great 
touring  cars  who  have  everything  money 
Can  buy  to  steal  away  with  their  miser¬ 
able  dollars  this  last,  comfort  and  joy 
of  the  country  boy.  Would  we  had  a 
prophet  Nathan  to  cry  out  against  this 
robbery  of  the  one  sheep  of  the  farmer 
hoy!  Our  little  country  church  stands 
violently  against  th  s  thing.  We  preach 
and  talk  and  ngitatc  against  it  in  every 
way.  The  woman  mentioned  above  leased 
the  privileges  of  her  land  for  a  long 
term  of  years,  and  then  before  the  lease 
expired  she  wanted  to  sell.  The  price 
was  agreed  upon  and  the  two  parties  were 
nt  the  town  clerk's  to  draw  the  deeds 
when  the  purchaser  found  out  about  the 
lease,  lit*  claimed  the  place  was  worth 
$500  less  to  him,  and  the  woman  lost 
so  much  money.  Why  should  we  squan¬ 
der  for  a  few  dollars  what  few  attrac¬ 
tions  our  hack  country  hits  for  the  buys? 
Think  of  a  boy  who  cannot  even  fish  in 
the  brook  right  back  of  his  barn,  and 
sees  the  city  sports  coming  out  and  carry 
off  his  trout!  bs  it  a  wonder  he  will  not 
stay  on  the  old  farm  when  grown  up? 
Cheer  Ur. — Signs  are  not  wanting  to 
make  us  who  believe  in  a  great  future  for 
ihe  country  church  to  cheer  up  and  take 
courage.  The  Pastoral  Parson  has  just 
received  a  letter  from  a  theological  sem¬ 
inary  asking  him  to  go  into  the  country 
with  about  25  of  their  students,  to  be 
gone  two  days,  for  a  first  hand  Study  of 
country  conditions  and  how  the  church 
can  help,  lie  is  to  he  one  of  several 
will  have  our  harvest  service.  The 
church  will  he  trimmed  with  samples  of 
the  good  'things  God  has  given  us  and 
with  these  about  ns  we  will  be  thankful 
for  them.  After  the  service,  w*e  shall 
have  dinner — dinner  made  up  from  the 
many  things  brought  for  exhibition  the 
day  before.  The  proof  of  the  pudding 
v  'll  be  in  the  eating,  and  an  abundance 
will  be  free  for  all  There  will  be  no 
hurrying  home,  hut  like  Saturday,  it  will 
he  a  day  off.  The  only  reason  why  peo¬ 
ple  should  go  home  from  church  Sundays 
is  that  it  is  time  to  do  the  night  chores. 
There  will  be  plenty  of  good  magazines 
ai  d  periodicals  to  read,  and  what  is  more 
there  will  be 
The  Sunday  Pacers. — Yes,  the  Pas¬ 
toral  Parson  has  added  ft  new  function  to 
the  work  of  the  ministry — that  of  dis¬ 
tributing  Sunday  papers.  And  why  not? 
I  want  my  country  people  to  have  every¬ 
thing  you  city  people  have— just  as  good 
if  not  a  little  better.  I  notice  that  even 
the  professors  in  the  divinity  schools  now 
have  their  Sunday  papers.  Time  seems 
to  have  quietly  removed  the  ecclesiastical 
ban  that  was  formerly  hurled  at  these 
publications  of  Satan.  The  Pastoral  Par- 
sou  slips  in  town  curly  Sunday  morning 
and  gets  the  papers — whatever  kind  the 
boys  want,  and  takes  them  down,  of 
course,  at  cost.  It  helps  make  them  con¬ 
tented  in  the  country  and  to  feel  as 
though  they  had  things  as  well  as  other 
folks. 
Frr.T.ixo  The  Sir.o. — The  Pastoral 
Parson  made  two  mistakes  in  connection 
with  lrs  silo— first  that  he  built  it  at 
all,  and  second,  he  built  it  too  large 
round.  Few  make  the  first  mistake, 
thousands  make  the  latter.  Through  this 
section  there  is  no  one  who  goes  about 
cutting  silage,  and  it  is  practically  neces¬ 
sary  to  own  your  outfit.  This  adds  from 
two  to  three  hundred  dollars  to  the  cost 
of  the  silo,  and  makes  the  whole  outlay 
too  much  to  be  justified  with  much  less 
than  10  head  of  stock.  Cutting  silage  is 
Lined  Up  at  the  Table  at  a  Kansas  Corn  Roast 
scended  and  striking  right  on  this  hard 
iron,  it  sent  a  stream  of  the  white  fluid 
straight  in  the  air,  taking  the  conductor 
right  under  the  chin!  From  there  it 
streamed  “down  the  skirts  of  his  cloth¬ 
ing.”  Then  the  can  tipped  over,  flooded 
the  vestibule  of  the  car,  and  ran  out  on 
the  street.  Before  the  conductor  could 
find  words  suitable  for  the  occasion,  the 
Parson  was  making  tracks  for  the  side¬ 
walk,  followed  by  a  stream  of  butter¬ 
milk.  lie  rescued  the  empty  can,  but  the 
cover  he  left  with  the .  conductor  for  a 
souvenir. 
Sweet  Butter. — This  same  man  loved 
Mrs.  Pastoral  Parson's  sweet  butter.  So 
I  took  up  a  couple  of  pounds,  and  as  he 
lived  out  the  other  side  of  the  city,  I 
told  him  I  would  leave  it  at  a  certain 
drug  store.  I  took  it  in  the  store  and 
saw  that  it  was  properly  marked  and  left 
it  in  a  safe  cool  place.  It  was  in  the 
early  Winter  and  the  heat  was  on.  The 
next  day  the  man  went  for  it  and  for  a 
long  time  it  could  not  be  found,  S«une- 
one  had  moved  it.  At  last  it  w  as  discov¬ 
ered — at  least  the  wrapper  was — right 
on  top  of  a  steam  radiator. 
Rear  Door  Reckonings. — These  city 
people  who  want  to  buy  direct  from  the 
producer  have  a  good  deal  to  learn,  and 
I  guess  it  is  up  to  us  farmers  to  teach 
them.  One  woman  customer  began  to 
find  poor  eggs.  First  one  or  two  in  a 
lot  of  several  dozen,  then  two  or  three. 
One  day  she  claimed  there  were  six  poor 
ones.  I  asked  if  she  saved  the  eggs. 
She  did  not.  On  further  questioning,  she 
admitted  that  she  used  them  for  cook¬ 
ing.  It  was  a  clear  case  of  petty  dis¬ 
honesty.  and  I  told  her  that  our  eggs 
Great  Scott !  And  butter  gone  up 
again !”  So  lie  went  on,  lie  thought  it 
a  great  joke,  but  I  didn't  relish  it.  Next 
time  I  went  in  he  went  on  the  same  way. 
He  went  and  looked  up  on  the  check 
book  to  see  how  long  it  was  since  I  was 
there.  In  due  time,  after  much  fussing 
I  got  the  check.  As  I  opened  the  door 
I  thanked  him  and  remarked  that  I 
would  not  trouble  him  again.  “What, 
what?”  he  cried.  “What  do  you  mean?” 
“I  mean,”  I  answered,  '  that  you  need 
case  eggs  and  oleomargarine.  They  are 
cheaper.”  Before  I  got  home  the  ’phone 
had  been  ringing  from  his  wife  and  she 
pleaded  so,  that  we  still  take  her  stuff — 
and  the  cash  is  always  waiting  for  us  at 
the  house. 
A  Farm  Temptation. — T  have  found 
a  great  temptation  in  ponnectiou  with 
this  supplying  several  families  with  farm 
produce.  I  was  slowly  and  almost  un¬ 
consciously  falling  into  a  very  bad  habit 
— one  especially  bad  for  our  bu.\s  and 
girls.  And  that  was  selliug  the  host 
stuff  and  keeping  the  seconds  at  home  to 
cat.  Stern  necessity  umy  in  some  eases 
demand  this,  but  it  should  forever ^  be 
fought  against.  Why  should  our  wives 
and  daughters  always  cat  little  dirty 
eggs,  pare  little  potatoes,  can  poor  fruit, 
and  gnaw  the  bones  of  skinny  setters? 
No  wonder  they  want  to  follow  the  good 
things  to  the  city.  The  unconscious  ef¬ 
fect  on  a  boy  of  always  preparing  good 
things  for  the  city  folk  and  eating  the 
poor  himself!  Mrs.  Pastoral  Parson 
brought  tin*  Parson  to  Ids  senses  on  this. 
“I  am  sick  and  tired  of  making  our  beau¬ 
tiful  butter  for  those  city  folks  and  eat¬ 
ing  any  old  butter  ourselves.”  And  that 
was  a  fact.  I  had  quite  often  taken  it 
all  in  town  to  "regular”  trade,  then 
bringing  back  butter  from  the  store.  One 
of  the  great  rewards  of  the  hard  work 
on  the  farm  and  the  great  advantages  of 
farm  lue  is  the  re1:  h  f  1 '  1  ;  b!e. 
speakers.  But  the  speaking  is  to  be  the 
smallest  part  of  it — it  is  to  bo  a  real 
seeing  of  t bines  as  they  are  in  a  far 
buck  town.  The  Parson  is  also  asked 
to  conduct  a  country  social  in  the 
evening.  Men  thus  trained  will  go 
out  with  something  of  a  vision  of  what 
is  needed  and  what  can  be  done. 
Something  New. — Yes,*  I  expect  it 
will  lie  something  new  down  at  the  little 
country  church,  but  we  are  all  counting 
on  it  so  much.  It  will  begin  in  the 
morning  of  the  last  Saturday  in  October. 
Wo  are  going  to  bring  samples  of  the 
good  things  we  have  grown  and  raised. 
The  senior  warden  will  drive  over  his 
great  fine  yoke  of  cattle  weighing  thirty 
hundred.  The  Pastoral  Parson  will  take 
down  wheat  and  corn;  many  will  bring 
hens  of  various  ages.  The  County  farm 
bureau  agent  will  be  there,  and  a  good 
deal  of  time  will  be  spent  in  learning 
how  to  select  the  best  laying  stock  and 
in  picking  out  breeding  stock.  There 
will  be  some  judging  of  cows.  From  a 
neighboring  town,  a  high  school  prin¬ 
cipal  is  coming  over  to  take  care  of  the 
boys  in  an  athletic  way.  There  will  be 
running  and  jumping  with  ribbons  for 
the  winners.  The  ladies  will  serve  dinner 
and  it  is  rumored  there  will  be  a  huge 
rabbit  p:e.  The  money  returns  from  the 
dinner  will  help  build  our  new  horse  and 
auto  shed, 
Saturday  Night. — In  the  evening  of 
this  same  Saturday  we  shall  have  our 
Hallowe'en  party  at  the  church  moms. 
What  a  good  time  we  shall  have!  Satur¬ 
day  night  is  a  great  night  to  have  things 
in  the  country.  The  young  people  have 
worked  hard  all  the  week,  and  it  is  in 
tlmir  bones  to  wash  up  early  and  dress  up 
well  and  get  out  somewhere — out  where 
the  hoys  meet  the  girls  and  the  girls  meet 
the  boys.  What  is  your  church  offering 
for  Saturday  night?  Is  the  minister 
working  out  a  custom-made  sermon  about 
ancient  matters  of  no  interest  and  are 
you  growling  over  the  behavior  of  some 
distant  saloon? 
Sunday  Am.  Day  T!km  Smith  "  '  • 
also  a  thing  at  which  it  is  very  hard  to 
“double  up”  with  one's  neighbors,  either 
as  to  machinery  or  help.  The  second 
man  is  afraid  of  frosts  and  hurries  up 
the  first  man,  who  in  turn  picks  his  corn 
too  early,  and  it  shrinks  badly — a  very 
real  loss.  If  the  first  man  persists  in 
waiting  then  tin*  second  man's  crop  gets 
frosted,  and  that  makes  it  bad.  The 
chances  are  that  both  crops  will  need 
cutting  the  same  time. 
Sit.os  Too  Big. — But  most  silos  are 
too  big.  The  Pastoral  Parson’s  silo  is 
10  feet  in  diameter.  It.  might  to  have 
been  eight,  and  run  up  higher.  With  six 
head  of  stock,  I  cannot  open  the  silo  till 
real  cold  weather,  as  the  cows  cannot 
cat  it  fast  enough  to  keep  it  from  spoil¬ 
ing.  With  modern  blowers,  silos  can  be 
run  up  just  about  as  high  as  you  please 
and  they  will  pack  down  hard  and  keep 
better  and  be  better  every  way  not  be 
so  large  round.  In  the  ease  of  a  wood 
silo  it  can  easily  be  made  smaller  but 
with  brick  it  is  quite  different.  Most 
silos,  like  the  Parson’s,  about  here,  are 
made  of  brick,  as  we  have  brickyards 
nea  rby. 
S  m  An,  Farm  Notes _ We  have 
thrashed  the  wheat  a ud  oats  and  both 
turned  out  remarkably  well.  We  are  now 
husking  the  picked-off  ears  of  corn.  It 
is  the  largest  and  best  corn  we  have 
raised  in  the  four  years  wc  have  been 
back  to  the  land.  In  short  it  is  the  best 
I  ever  husked  in  my  Life.  We  picked  it  a 
little  too  early,  however,  and  some  of  it 
will  shrink  in  the  crib.  I  think  we  shall 
have  175  baskets.  The  potatoes  were 
aLso  the  best  we  have  hud  yet.  We 
raised  74  bushels.  The  boys  and  I  took 
off  the  front  tooth  of  the  cultivator  and 
put  a  big  tooth  on  the  back,  leaving  the 
side  teetb  on,  and  it  dug  them  out  in 
great  shape.  How  much  energy  I  have 
wasted  and  how  much  backache  I  have 
endured  in  lifting  potatoes  out  of  heavy 
soil!  A  neighbor  standing  by  a"!  ***e 
ing  the  cultivator  at  work  declared  it  was 
.  -<s  a  regular  digger.  '  G*r  the 
1 1  -  *  kept  excl.M  i|n’e»  "Tie  round 
