STAMMERING 
A Magnificent Premium! 
WEBS TEE'S ILLUSTRATED DICTIONARY 
FOE ONLY 20 HEW SUBSCRIBERS! 
real service to him than the money -would have 
done. 
And yet, reader, was John Botden more 
anxious to make a sudden, splendid fortune 
than many whom yon can call to mind ? Was 
he more credulous—more easily persuaded by 
the wiles of swindlers than others, who hunt 
out. every “ chance to make a fortune,” and bite 
at a bait so transparent that the hook is in full 
view! Honest, manly perseverance is the surest 
road to success, the world over, and he who 
would succeed in life and carry with him the 
esteem and respect of his fellow-men, can travel 
no other road. 
[Dear Rural: —On my way to Batavia to-day, 1 
saw on board the care one of the sweetest little girls 
it was ever my lot to admire, — albeit habitually on 
the lookout for “ such small dear." 1 would add, by 
way of drapery to the fact, that I had the felicity of 
carrying her in my arms to the platform at • 
assisting her mother.] 
A SEEAPH ON THE CABS. 
The following Liberal Offer is made for the 
benefit of those who do not care to compete for 
our other Premiums: 
To Each Person procuring and remitting 
according to Club Terms ($3.50 per copy,) for 
Twentt Hew Subscribers to the XVIIth Vol¬ 
ume of the Rural New-Yorker, (commencing 
Jan. 6, ’66,) wc will give a copy of WEBSTER’S 
NEW ILLUSTRATED UNABRIDGED DIC¬ 
TIONARY, the lowest Cash Price of which is 
Twelve Dollars! This splendid and popular 
work contains oiwr Three Thousand IGwt rations, 
is elegantly printed on fine piper, and substan¬ 
tially bound. It is the best Book Premium, of 
its price, that can possibly be offered, and those 
who secure It will have a lile loDg treasure. 
You , Reader, can secure it by a little effort, and 
Aw is the Time to make the Effort / 
25gT Specimen numbers, Show-Bills, &c., &c., 
sent free to all applicants. 
Address D. D. T. MOORE, 
Rochester, N. Y. 
BT THE FINANCIAL AGENT 
Ol E. C. Williams’ South Bca Whaling Panorama. 
I saw a baby on the cars. 
Such a beauty saw I never! 
Keep that seraph from the stars 
Many years, O blessed Giver! 
Grant’s Only Joke.—T he only joke that 
Lieutenant-General Grant was ever known to 
perpetrate, was one day during his campaign 
in Mississippi, when the rebel General Winter 
was coming up to attack one of the wings of 
his army, where the commander-in-chief hap¬ 
pened to be himself present. “ Gentlemen,” 
said Grant, quietly knocking the ashes from his 
cigar, and looking around at the officers near 
him, "you see a severe Winter approaching, and 
I advise you to have the boys keep up a good fire ! ” 
Tears kept welling from my eyes; 
From my childless heart came bounding 
Laughing throbs of rare surprise. 
Perfect love my being rounding. 
Her face was Buch as come in dreams, 
Bathing heart and soul in pleasure: 
Steeped in paradisal gleams, 
Seemed that pearly, baby treasure. 
JSPThe “pouncet box” that Shakspeare’s 
fop applied to his nose, when incommoded with 
the fumes of “villainous saltpetre,” was out of 
place in the field, but our military heroes return¬ 
ing from their victories rightly deem that a 
libation of Phalon’s “ Night-Blooming Cereus ” 
on their handkerchiefs, adds a charm to the 
social re-unions which welcome the advent of 
peace. Sold everywhere. 
■\rOTICE. — TO YOUNG 1TIEN from tlie 
In Fnrm*—MECHANICS’—SOLDIER!*—MID¬ 
DLE-AGED MEN who desire to better their 
condition In Life—und to PARENTS who 
would make their Son* Huceem-ful, useful Men. 
PRESIDENT'S OFFICE, 
Eastman's National Business College. 
POUGHKEEPSIE, N. T., ON THE HUDSON, ? 
Jan. 15, 186*3. > 
To Patrons and Applicant*: ... 
I have the honor to announce the coctlnned and in¬ 
creasing prosperity of thia Institution, and the growing 
favor of tny svKtctn ol Practical Business Training. 
'nit* demand for Voting anti Middle-Aged Men lor Spring 
and Summer Business has not beeu so great in any pre¬ 
ceding year as at present. 
1 am now prepared to furnish ell grjdaaicn of merit 
with tlrsv-clnlw business positions, either In the North, 
West or South. Those entering upon the course la Feb- 
rnari’ or March ran qualify In time for Spring and Sum¬ 
mer business. Those completing the Course in the. Spring 
and Bnnuner will enjoy the attractions of our beautiful 
City audits surroundings. 
In no place in the United States can a student spend 
the lew months necessary to complete his Commercial 
studies with so <smcb profit and pleasure us here, and In 
no other place are expeuses bo reasonable. The institu¬ 
tion is* represented largely iu ‘.he Spring and Summer by 
As well attempt to paint a tone, 
Or, yet, contrive a smile to capture; 
Or, gentle sigh to catch and own. 
As speak of her with anght but rapture 
1 dared not kiss her angel charms, 
She was too fair, to me, for kissing: 
But. when she parted from my anus. 
I left, among her curls, my blessing. 
The third d«v brought the longed-for letter. “ 
oiin placed it lu hie breast-pocket, mid hardened JW «“ ° f ■* 
home. Hi, heart «... light, »nd he .1- Wojwht Johk, “end hope to persuade me out 
. .. . rr,,.,.., .. of the business. Of con rite, it will hurt him 
lost ran lor part of the (Instance, mere was a ..... ,,, 
ticket beside the road, and Into this BoYDEN bo “ c > L,ut tra< ^ 16 frce ' 
irncd to read the Important missive, First he He entered the second shop. 
oiled out a large circular, which he merely take him-a htfle differently, was the 
lanced at. Ills countenance fell a little as he ™ntal resolutionthough it can’t be that 
ereeived that it treated Of gold watches, but he I’ve been ^ swindled out of my money m 
ailed out the letter accompanying, and ran- 
ver the contents of that as soon as be could The jeweler was busily at work when the 
ecipber it. It was all flattery, stating that countryman entered, but he rose on seeing 
•om the tenor of his letter they felt sure he was that the latter had business with him. 
te very man they wanted In that section, to “A Wend of me wanted me to ask you 
itroduce the new, hunting-ease gold watch ^OUt this watch!” he said, producing the 
icy were importing in vast quantities from condemned article, 
witzerluud; concluding, that they would do “ f lt JlB • 
aything to favor him, and hoped to receive an “ 1 don’t know whether be has bought it or 
rder from him for at least one case, which he Eot » he 1a3kod of it a week ago or so 
culd hardly foil to sell in any town in a single The story stuck m John’s throat a li tie, but 
be was not disposed to let it appear that he was 
John glanced over the circular to find what a concerned party. . ., . 
•as meant by a case, and what they cost. He “B a family of children, it might he 
^d- “ Put HP in eases of six each, and sent ™rth tf *“ cents, as a toy; though such a one as 
y Express, prepaid, to any part of the country, those » - pointing to some toys which lay in a 
n receipt of price-*150.00 per ease! Every cast—“would be better, and I sell ’em for 
'atch, will sell for from $75 to ?100, — often for eight cents! 
lore than that! ” “ Arc you honest about it t 
. ,_ There was a look of blank dismay on the fea- 
Herc was a blow for the young man’s hopes. ‘ ,. ,,, J , 
lutwIthftandiiiB .he irnmeL ptoflts, It would ««• ° f «“ 
cquir.1 considerable of » capital cm which to **** lhc “<«“ Le felt 
ommence. He read the whole sheet over care- “Certainly I am! You don t Jiiuk this is a 
illy, and his heart beat with satisfaction as he real watch, do yon V ” 
ealized that such a time-piece never had been “I don’t know anything about watches,” the 
card of in that section. There were certificates crest-fallen speculator replied. “I never had 
*oin many emminent men appended, whom lie one in ui y • ” 
ad never heard of, to be sure, but of what mat- “ Well, he must be a greeny not to know the 
tr was that ? They had used the watches, and difference. There’s no works inside, of any 
jund them all that human ambition could account, nor any place for works. The case is 
rave! He thought over the matter. The parties of the poorest kind of brass—just compare 
ad expressed a desire to assist him — perhaps them ’ and he took a genuine gold watch 
bey would deviate from their established terms from the window, and handed it to John. 
Q do - 0 Even his unpractised eye saw at a glance that 
He wrote to them, representing his inability he had been deceived as to the watch. His 
o purchase an entire set, and asking for some heart sank at the disclosure, but he felt gratelul 
rrangement by which he could commence upon to the honest men who had prevented his making 
small capital — adding that he intended to a fool of himself. 
‘put the business through,” and save a hand- “Now I will convince you,” said the jeweler, 
ome sum from the large margin for profit. He “if you are not afraid of having this thing spoiled 
lid not stop to reflect upon the probabilities of in the looks.” 
he case/or to annltze the proposition, as a man John bade him proceed, and he took a small 
ess credulous than himself would have been vial, filled with a colorless liquid. Some of this 
irettylsure to have done. He was only allured by he applied to the watch which he had taken 
he golden prospects which gave such unbound- from the desk, and after allowing it to remain a 
d promise. . ' short time, wiped it off. 
In a few days came an answer from the pro- “You see it leaves no stain!” he said. “Now 
Victors. It was not their way of doing business, 1 will make a very slight application to this bogus 
hey wrote, but as he eceined about the right concern! ” 
L*nd of an agent, they would break a package He did so, and the application was followed by 
or his especial benefit, and he could send for an Instant discoloration. He wiped it away with 
nch a number as he wished at the same price the 6ume movement, but the blot could not be 
>er watch as though he had taken a package, effaced. 
Ii8 heart leaped with delight at the generosity. “ I the place over, if you wiBh,” be 
le eould’raise twenty-five, perhaps fifty dollars, said. 
md then he^would be on the high road to success! John did not wish. He dropped the bauble 
Je said nothing of his plans, for he was deter- into his pocket, and started upon his return, 
nined to astonish his friends generally when he But how changed was everything! His golden 
tad made the first real speculation. With the dreams had all vanished, the unnatural lightness 
ittle money he had saved from his daily toil- and buoyancy of bis step had fled The dead 
md which was needed for more than one urgent swindle in his pocket weighed him down kke a 
isc, — and such amount as he borrowed, the millstone. No sooner was he clear of the village 
nice of a’single watch was Obtained, and for- than he drew it forth, placed it upon a fiat rock 
warded and crushed it with a stone till not a semblance 
Tine to the appointed day came an innocent of the original shape was left. Then he drove it 
little box through the mail, to his address. Pat- into the ground, and stamped down the dirt 
ting it in his pocket, he started for home. His above it! 
feet never had seemed so light before! He “There is my twenty-five dollars ’ he mnt- 
sprang along the road with an agility which snr- tered. “ Thank the good luck which made me 
prised all who saw him. Turning into the a poor man, it was no more. Now 1 go back, 
thicket, as before, he broke open the mysterious and K° to work again. I may as well count in 
package. There it lay—a shining, pretty thing! the eight or ten dollars 1 might hate earned 
He took it out carefully, and after admiring the vi’hile I’ve been iooling about with this matter, 
elegance of its general appearance, despite some The way seemed much longer on his return 
little flaws in the finish, he put it back carefully. ! than it hud done in the morning, hut he reached 
ne would say nothing to .Susan of this, but home before night. He was obliged to continue 
would go to an adjoining town, and sell it for the deception toward his wife, and she noticed 
a hundred and twenty-five if possible—enough his downcast manner iu a moment. He ex- 
to buy the balance of the set, plained it by pleading headache, and retired 
The following day he made a false pretence — early. Next morning he arose and sought work, 
the first which he had ever felt it necessary to No more dreams of golden hue filled his mind, 
use with his wife — and set off for the town. It hut he had stiff his strong muscles to toil and 
was a good eight miles, but he reached St by bring him certain rewards. He had learned a 
noon, and after taking ft lunch he dropped into lesson, and one which was to be a benefit to him 
a jeweler’s establishment, through ft lifetime. It took him ft long while to 
“I’ll 60 e whs.t he says about it,” thought regain what he had lost,"in time and money. 
John, “ and maybe, he’ll give me a fair price for ’ Strictly speaking he could never regain it, for 
it. If he does I think I’ll take it, for what is both were gone forever; but the experience he 
twenty-five or thirty dollars to me now? had passed through, no doubt, proved of more 
Again, that seraph in the care 
I bless, and still will bless forever 
O keep that eeraph from the stare 
For many years, divineet Giver ! 
On the road, 26th Jan., '66. 
For Moore’s Rnral New-Yorker.K 
ILLUSTRATED REBUS. 
"Written for Moore's Rural New-Yorker. 
JOHN BQYDEN’S INVESTMENTS, 
A STOEY FOE THE CREDULOUS 
BY JAMES L. BOWEN 
OOD & JTIANN STEAM ENGINE 
COMPANY’S 
John Bolden was a young farmer, who lived, 
and still lives, in ft country village, not more 
than a thousand miles from Rochester. John 
was an honest, honorable fellow, who believed 
in doing just ns he promised, and only promising 
what he could perform. Iu this respect, at least, 
he wae the very soul of honor. He would not 
"have wronged a man out of a cent, to use his 
own phrase, “no rnore’n he’d chop his right 
hand off." And everybody knew that he felt 
They respected him for his 
For Moore’s Rural New-Yorker, 
MISCELLANEOUS ENIGMA. 
just what he said, 
uprightness, and prophesied that John would 
buy himself a good farm some day, and make 
one of their best men. For, notwithstanding 
the richness of his heart, .John was poor in 
worldly goods. He had commenced in life by 
working upon the neighboring farms by the day 
or week, and in a short time had saved enough 
to furnish a humble little house, which he had 
bought upon long credit. He was already mar¬ 
ried, but his wife being of a feeble constitution, 
was rather a draw-back upon tkeyoutig laborer’s 
progress. But he loved Susan, and was willing 
to forgeo anything for her pleasure or comfort. 
If she had a cough, the kind-hearted husband 
hastened to the village store, where everything 
found its place, and purchased a bottle of patent 
medicine, which he supposed infallible in Sts 
operations, assuring the merchant that he would 
call in and “ square up” ns soon as he had the 
money. And he was as invariably prompt in 
this as in other matters. 
But an evil day came to John. He was en¬ 
gaged with a neighbor in digging a drain upon 
his premises, when a sudden dash of rain drove 
them to the house. 
“ Don’t you want to look at the paper, John ?” 
the man asked, passing to him the city sheet, 
which had arrived the previous evening. 
He took the paper, rather to pass the time than 
for any other purpose, as he was not given to 
reading extensively. While he sat running his 
eyes listlessly down the columns he came to that 
part devoted to advertisements. He would have 
turned the sheet, hut at the moment his gaze 
was arrested by a paragraph, headed, 
“ $25 TER DAY TO AGENTS!!!” 
He read the strange announcement, then re¬ 
read it, being very careful in regard to the figures. 
Then he antlered to himself: — “ Well, now, if 
that don’t beat all I ever hcarn of! Twenty five 
dollars a day! I wish 1 could get into such a 
business; I’d be content with ten dollars —yes, 
I am composed of 30 letters. 
My 17. 20, 27 is it kind of liquor. 
My 1, 8. 20, 7 is a part of a boot. 
My 2,10. 6,11 is a capo on the coast of South America, 
My 14, 19, 4, 28. 7 is a bey's name. 
My 20, 20,16, 7. 25,12, 8. lb" is a city in Ireland. 
My 2, 7," 6. 21, 2S la a kind of bird. 
My 9,12; 5,19 is a bird of prey. 
My »4, 25,17,13, 8, 7 Is a country in Europe. 
My 8,10, 7, 22, is a kind of grain. 
My 9,17,28,15,17, 30 is a river in the United States. 
My 17, 28. 29 is a conjunction. 
My whole is what we all know to be true. 
Fayette, N. Y. J. G. Pearson. 
Answer in two weeks. 
Portable SteamEugines, 
From Four to Thirty - Five Horse Power . 
We have the oldest, largest and most complete works 
in the country, eugiiiied in manufacturing Portable Eu- 
glnce. Our Engines are, •‘by experts, now conceded to 
DC the best apparatus ot tills description ever presented 
to the public.’’ Adapted to every purpose where power 
is required. Medium sizes constantly on baud or furn¬ 
ished on 6hort notice. 
tET* Descriptive Circulars with price list seDt on appli¬ 
cation THE WOOD & MANN 8TEAM ENGINE CO., 
831 j UUca, N. Y , and No. Maiden Lane, New York. 
For Moore's Rural New-Yorker, 
AN ANAGRAM. 
Roc Levenayh Ilatref, urah uor yarrep 
Hyt amen eb lodwelah reevyherew: 
Hyt gomdlnk moce: tyb receftp llwi 
Ni threa. sa vaheen. tel Ial luffill; 
Yige bUi yad'e redab hatt cw amy vile 
Gorfive rou niss sa ew gorfive: 
Pehl sn muptttneio ot feithandwt; 
Romf vile hidlee sn yb ytb nadh; 
Won uad refovre tuno heet 
Yht mingdok, worep dan rolyg eb. 
Grasshopper Falls, Kansas. 
Z3?“ Answer in two weeks. 
Cured by Bates'Appliances. For descriptive 1 
&c., address 11. C. l. HEARS, 27? W. 23d Street, 
MOORE S RURAL NEW-YORKER, 
THE LARGEST-CIRCULATING 
AGRICULTURAL, LITERARY AM) FAIRLY NEWSPAPER, 
IS PUBLISHED BVEBY SATURDAY 
BY D. D. T. MOORE, ROCHESTER, N. Y. 
Office, Unkin Buildings, Opposite tlio Ctum Hons*, Buflalo St, 
Mr firet'e the last destructive foe 
Of nature's fairest form below; 
My second is proud Albion's boast, 
And both defends, and decks her coast. 
My whole, (such chaDge from union flows,) 
The bitterest boon the earth bestows. 
CST” Answer in two weeks. 
TERMS, IN ADVANCES 
Three Doltu.ru a Tear —to Clubs and Agents as 
followsFive copies one year, for $14: Seven, and one 
free to Club Agent, for $19; Ten, and one free, Tor $25, 
and any greater number at the same rale — only $2.50 per 
copy. Club papers directed to individuals anil sent to as 
many dlflerent Post-Otlices as desired. As we pre-pay 
American postage on copies sent abroad, iV.i’O Is the 
lowest Club rate for Canada, and $3A0 to Europe. The 
best way to remit is by Draft on New York, Gees cost ol 
exchange.) — and all drafts made payable to the order oi 
the Publisher, mat bb mailed at bib Ri6K. 
pr The above Terms and Rates must be strictly ad¬ 
hered to so long as published. Those who remit less than 
specified price lor a club or single copy, will be credited 
only as per rates. Persons sending less Ilian /nil price lor 
this volume will Und when their subscriptions expire by 
referring to figures on address label—the figures indica¬ 
ting the No. of paper to which they have paid being given. 
For Moore’s Rnral New-Yorker, 
MATHEMATICAL PROBLEM. 
What will be the diameter of a ball made from two 
balls, each of which are two inches in diameter, al¬ 
lowing nothing for waste ? C. B. Tifft. 
’ Corning, N. Y. 
fg* Answer in two weeks. 
ANSWER TO ENIGMAS, &c., IN No. 836, 
Answer to Illustrated Rebus:—Little squalls don't 
upset the lover’s boat; they drive it all the faster to 
port. 
Answer to Miscellaneous Enigma: — Nothing is 
troublesome that we do willingly. 
Answer to Biblical Enigma:—Many sorrows shall 
be to the wicked. 
Answer to Anagram: 
MY IDEAL. 
Pale and patient, watching ever, 
Weary watchings damp with tears; 
Watching for the joys which come not 
Through the drooping lapse of years. 
Hearts nigh bursting pent their feelings, 
Hushed their gentle soulful strains— 
Heads that at their shrine should worship, 
Bow at other, fairer fanes. 
Answer to Charade:—Pillow. 
Additions to C'lnbs are always in order, whether in 
ones, twos, lives, tens, twenties, or any olher number. 
Subscriptions can commence with the volume or any 
number but the former 1s the best time, and we shall 
send from it for some weeks, unlcp“ specially directed 
otherwise. Please “ make a note of it. 
Direct ro Rochester. X. Y.— Persons having occa¬ 
sion to Address the Rural New-Yorker will please 
direct to H‘* Kotit r, N. Y., and not as many do, to New 
York, Aibany t Buffalo. Money letters intended for 
us are utmost aally mailed to the above places. 
Remit by Draft.— Whenever drafts can be obtained 
Club Agents are requested to remit them in preference to 
Currency or P. O. Money Orders. As we pav cost of ex¬ 
change, and allow them to be 6ent at our risk, It is the 
safest and cheapest to remit by draft. 
If You, Reader, canned consistently act as agent 
for the Rural, please solicit the influence of some 
active friend who will be sure and give the niatcer atten¬ 
tion—especially if there Is not a wide-awake 8gent iu 
