A COUGH, A COLD, OR A 
SORE THROAT, 
Requires immediate attention, 
AND SHOULD BE CHECKED. 
If allowed to continue, 
Irritation of the Lungs, a Perma¬ 
nent Throat Disease, or 
Consumption, 
IS OFTEN THE RESULT. 
while putting his name in the proper places, I 
remarked, “ I hope to hare an answer from Wil¬ 
liamsburg by next Wednesday; if you are in 
town call in.” 
“ I will do so.” , 
1 immediately penned a note to the Post-Mas¬ 
ter at Williamsburg, inquiring if such and such 
a money order had twen paid to Vincent, Willis 
& Co., and in dne course of mail received my 
original letter endorsed as follows : 
“ Paid Jancaut-IOth.” 
It is now ten days since that payment was 
made. What are the chances for “getting sat¬ 
isfaction” out of the thing ? Let farmer B’s an¬ 
swer decide it: 
“ Gone up ! ” 
“ I think so! You said you knew them ; are 
they reliable ?” 
“ Oh, yes, perfectly rcliahle as far as getting 
the money is concerned; but as for your getting 
the watch, why, 1 can’t warranty that.” 
“ Has anybody else sent to them ?” 
“ Yes, a good many.” 
“ Did they get the articles ?” 
“Some of them did, bnt most of them did 
not 
“ If some did, w hy not all ?” 
“ Sharp practice, Mr. B.—sharp practice.” 
“ What do yon mean by that ?” 
“ Why, sir, the fellows probably thought it 
would be for their interest to send a few at first, 
as recommendations, knowing well that by so 
doing they could gull a good many.” 
“Eh!" And his eyes opened like two great 
oysters, while surprise and astonishment seemed 
vicing with each other for the mastery, at the 
same time saying, “ You are only joking me be¬ 
cause of my good luck in drawing such a valu¬ 
able article.” 
“Very well, you are entitled to the privilege 
of doubting rny words,—but really, supposing 
you do not get the watch, can you afford to lose 
the money ?" 
“ Certainly I can. But then I shall not lose it 
if this post-ollicc order system is safe.” 
“Oh, that’s safe enough! I’ll pledge myself 
to refund the tnoney to you if they don't get it. 
But I tell you, Mr. B., it is the last yon will ever 
hear of that money.” Whereat I gave him the 
names of several individuals who had been 
caught in the same net. 
“Well, there's nothing like trying! I’ll see 
what there Is of it, and if they don’t send me 
the watch, and a good one, too, it’ll go hard 
with them.” 
Knowing to a certainty that he was simply 
throwing away his money, I changed my tacticB 
in my endeavor to dissuade him. But as he re¬ 
mained obstinate and seemed determined, and 
not wishing to make him a mortal enemy, I 
ceased my objections, fueling sure that i now 
“had” lilm upon his ability to “take two news¬ 
papers.” 
“ How soon ought 1 to have an answer?” 
“ By next Saturday. If you do not get it then, 
you never will; still, four days is time enough to 
test the matter.” 
“ I will be in town on Saturday; if it comes 
before then, you take care of it.” 
“ Certainly.” 
“ The thing is all right now, I suppose ? ” 
“ As far as they are concerned, hut you are not 
all right, however. I think you told me the 
other day that you could not afford to take loth 
the Rural and Tribune, at a cost of lour dollars, 
while you now are able to give away five dollars 
and a half.” 
He seemed rather taken aback at the manner 
in which 1 pilloried him, and said, “I had for¬ 
gotten that; will speak to my wife, and see what 
she thinks about it.” 
“But, Mr. B.” 
“ I know, but I’m in a hurry now,” and away 
lie went. 1 did not see him again until Satur¬ 
day, when, punctual to his promise, he came in 
and inquired; 
“ What have you for me to-day ? ” 
“ Nothing.” 
“ Nothing /” And a shadow of blank amaze¬ 
ment passed over his features, which gave him 
the appearance of being covered with shame at 
the way in which he had been swindled, and 
that, too, with his eyes wide open. Your man 
who is caught in the meshes of the sharper, with 
the warning words of experienced friendship 
still ringing in his cars, is a man to he pitied. 
Yon may smile at his confusion and dismay, but 
although the loss be a small one, still you should 
remember that nothing short of actual experience 
will cure the penurious man of his greed for 
“smart bargains.” , 
When I see a farmer driving through the 
streets of some village with a load of wood upon 
Ills sleigh or wagon, and see him driving and 
driving back and forth for hours, refusing seven 
dollars for his load, in the hope of getting seven 
and a half, 1 say to myself, “ That man is over¬ 
reaching himself. He is not alive to his own in¬ 
terest. He jnst refused seven, and may have to 
wait two hours of wear and tear, and time, be¬ 
fore he can tlnd another man who will even look 
at his wood for seven aud a-half. Ten chances 
to one he will be obliged to draw it home again. 
He loses half a day in his search for half a dol¬ 
lar, that might have been spent in making bar¬ 
rels for use in the next season’s apple packing. 
He does not realize that “a nimble sixpence is 
better than a slow shilling.” That was jiiBt the 
trouble with farmer B. He was after a “ prize,” 
and drew a- blank. 
“ Do you think the letter could have been 
miscarried, Mr. A ? ” 
“No, sir. Your letter went straight enough.” 
“ Is there any way to make them send the 
watch or refund the money ? ” 
“ Not that I know of. They are altogether 
too smart lor the police of the city. How do 
you think you can accomplish that, which the 
law-officers of the city fail to effect ? ” 
“ Can you And out if they really got the 
money?” 
“ Certainly! Nothing easier than that! I will 
inquire into it if you wish me to do so.” 
“ If you will, I will pay you for your trouble.” 
“All the pay I want is for you to own up that 
you can afford to take the two papers we were 
talking about the other day. Shall I put you 
down for them ? ” 
“ I forgot that, I will haTC a talk with my 
wife, and see about it, aud let you know the next 
time I come in.” 
“ That’s just what yon told me the other day. 
How abOHt your being able to take them ? ” 
“ You’ve got me there, Mr. A.” 
“ I rather think .1 have! What do you say, 
will yon have them ? Yes or no ? ” 
VERBUM SAT 
1 wonder where old Verbum sat. 
And how he looked while sitting there 
And where he hung his Sunday hat. 
And did he use an easy chair? 
Did Mrs. Verbnra always look 
Angelic, when her husband smiled ? 
And what was Verbum’s favorite book, 
And had the Verbums e’er a child ? 
But no I the subject’s wrapt in gloom, 
Scant Verbum legends can I trace, 
Impenetrable m the tomb 
The darkness is ore all their race. 
The solitary record left, 
And consolation comes from that— 
The fact that Time has not bereft 
The nation of is, Verbum sat! 
For Moore's Rural New-Yorker. 
ILLUSTRATED REBUS. 
HAVING A DIRECT INFLUENCE TO THE TABTS, SIVB 
IMMEDIATE RELIEF, 
For Bronchitis. Asthma, Catarrh, Consumptive 
aud Throat Diseases, 
TROCHES ABE USED WITH ALWAYS GOOD SUCCESS. 
Singers and Public Speakers 
will And TVocAd useful In clearing the voice when taken 
before singing or Speaking, and relieving the throat 
after an OT.tiMisl exerilon of the vocal organs. The 
lYorhrs arc recommended and prescribed by PhydCians, 
and have had testimonials from eminent men llirough- 
ont the country. Being an article of tune merit, and 
having provetl ‘their efficacy by a test of many years. 
each year finds them In new localities in various parts of 
ACCIDENT INSURANCE 
Written for Moore's Rural New-Yorker. 
THE GOLD WATCH; 
OR, TOO POOR TO TAKE A PAPER 
Tin: “Fat Contributor” gives some of the 
wonderful results of accident insurance, which 
wc copy: 
The other day a man in Chicago fell out of a 
fourth story window. He had no insurance and 
consequently he was killed. Another man, on 
the same day, fell end with bis wife, ne was in¬ 
sured in the “ Breakneck,” and is ready to fall 
out again. 
A cripple in Boston had his legs taken off—a 
rliymster took them off in verse. No insurance. 
A fellow took a drink of whisky at a saloon in 
Cincinnati. Suddenly recollecting that he had 
no insurance, he immediately took an emetic, 
and then he took out a policy in the “ Break¬ 
neck.” He now takes drinks with impunity—if 
impunity treats. 
A young man in Portsmouth, Ohio, was jilted 
by a young lady and sued her to recover damages. 
Insured in the “ Breakneck.” Fifteen dollars a 
week until he recovers. 
A man was sentenced to solitary confinement 
for life in the Michigan State Prison. Policy in 
the “Breakneck.” Fifteen dollars a week as 
long as he is confined to his room. 
A woman driving a spirited horse in 8 t. Louis 
was run away with. Being insured against ac¬ 
cidents, she wasn’t alarmed a hit—stopped the 
horse and cume hack so. Her policy running 
out, she neglected to renew it. Shortly after 
she was run away with again. Her husband’s 
partner ran army with her this time, and she 
hasn’t come back yet. Don’t fail to renew your 
policy, particularly if it is the “ Breakneck.” 
A boiler exploded at Memphis, blowing the 
engineer into the air quite out of sight. He 
will receive fifteen dollars a day until he comes 
down again. 
«OI> AND CHEAP BOOKS FOR 
I am a veteran campaigner. Not one of the 
sort who roam around, living upon other peo¬ 
ple’s substances. Not at all! I travel upon 
my own muscle, dine. Horn my own table, sleep 
in my own bed. My campaigns, although con¬ 
ducted with my “ lines ” spread out many 
miles, are. all “planned” and “executed” 
within the four square walls of my office, 
where I now sit writing. 
“ A funny campaign,” I think I hear some 
old war-liorsc, besmeared with the smut of a 
score of battles, exclaim. Funny or not, that 
they have been conducted with energy and 
promptness, I call upon the publisher of this 
paper to affirm. But hold on!—I was not in¬ 
tending this praise of self when I set out to 
write this article. 
Does anybody know a penurious man ? Arc 
there any of Diem existing who have their names 
upon the subscription book of a newspaper ? 1 
guess so. Far too many of them for their own 
good. Who are they ? Where do they live ? I 
must be excused from answering that, or those 
questions. Reader, “ cast yourself about you,” 
and see if you know one! Yon do ? That'* the 
man ! I met him the other day, and asked him 
to join my clubs for the Rural New-Yorker 
and Tribune, and what do you suppose his 
answer was ? Here it is: 
“ I would like to take them both, but can’t 
afford to pay two dollars and a half for the 
Rural. Can you afford it any cheaper?” 
“ No sir; that is the lowest club rate,” 
“ Well, I think 1 ■will only take the Tribune 
this year. If 1 can raise the money I will come 
t. gain in a day or two and see about it.” 
“Very well, sir; then 1 shall put you down 
for both of them.” 
“ Bora papers! Why, I tell you I can't afford 
them both!” 
“ Which is the cheaper ?” 
“ The Tribune, of course. I can get that for 
a dollar and a-half.” 
“I know that,—hut, talking about prices, 
why, 1 will furnish you with the World for one 
dollar per year, which is cheaper still; but you 
must consider that you are paying out your 
money for that which has been hawked all over 
the country through the daily papers, for a week, 
and when the publisher can make no further use 
of the material, he forms it into a sheet and calls 
it Weekly Tribune, Weekly World, and fools you 
out of your money by pretending to furnish you 
a newspaper .” 
“ Well, I’ll think about it.” 
“ Wait a moment, Mr. B., and see which is the 
cheapest paper. When you reflect that the read¬ 
ing matter in the Ribal is fresh from the pen 
of its authors, and that the material thus gath¬ 
ered is set up especially for that and each num¬ 
ber, instead of being some stale, repeated mat¬ 
ter, you will see which is the cheapest in reality. 
Now be honest.enough to confess which is really 
the cheaper one of the two, considering the 
money you pay.” 
“ I never looked at it in that light, but will 
think it over.” 
“ Very well.” 
“ Good day, sir.” 
“ Good day, Mr, B.” 
Thus we parted—he to “think it over,” and 
I, reposing full confidence in my ability to “ se¬ 
cure him,” to enter his name under the heading 
“ look after,” in my subscription book. A few 
days after thai conversation Mr. B. came smiling 
into my office, and 6aid : 
“I want a money order, Mr. A.” 
“ Yes, sir. What amount ?” 
“ Five dollars and a-half.” 
“ Where payable ?” 
“ Williamsburg, New York.” 
“ In whose favor ?” 
“ Vincent, Willis & Co.” 
“ Ah, indeed! They’re old friends and ac¬ 
quaintances of mine, Mr. B. I’ve known them 
a long time, and they seem to he doing a flour¬ 
ishing business. 1 suppose you have been lucky 
enough to draw n gold watch. Any objec tion to 
my seeing your ticket, Mr. B. ?” 
“ No, sir.” 
Whereupon lie drew from the envelope in¬ 
closing liis letter ol' order the much coveted 
“ ticket,” and with an air as much as saying 
* ain’t 1 lucky ?” handed it to me, upon which 
I -ead as follows: 
‘ Upon return of tliis certificate and five dollars, 
Witt fifty cents to pay postage, we will send the 
holdtr One Hunting Case Gold Watch, Value 
$85. Warranted a perfect time keeper, hunting case, 
ftill jeweled, patent lever, pearl face, sunk hands, IS 
carat fine solid gold. 
(.Signed) “Vincent, Willis & Co., 
• “ Wikiamebnrg, N. Y.” 
“A pretty good offer, Mr. B.—only five aud 
a-half for a gold watch.” 
Rat S. Althouse. 
Lowell, Mich. 
J5F“ Answer in two weeks. 
For Moore’s Rural New-Yorker. 
GEOGRAPHICAL ENIGMA. 
1 am composed of 24 letters. 
My 10, 7, 23,10, 8,13, 7 is a city in Canada. 
My 7, 20, 6, 22, 0, 10 is a lake in New York. , 
My 21, 4,10,17,1 is a county in Pennsylvania. 
Mv 24, 7.18,12,10, 22, 23 is a river in Iowa. 
My 15, 4, 6 is a river in France. 
My 1,8,14, 22, 0.21 le a city In Greece. 
My 2, 7, fi, 9, Is one of the West India Islands. 
My 3.19, 0, 0 is a mountain in California. 
My 19,11, 2, 4, 0,10, 19, 24 Is one of the United States 
My whole Is a true saying. 
Gainesville, N. Y. Sabah Brainerih 
Answer in two weeks. 
For Moore's Rural New-Yorker. 
ASTRONOMICAL QUESTION. 
Tub month of Febrnary, 1872, will contain five 
Thursdays. In what year will the same thing occur 
again? j. m. b. 
Wyoming Co., N. Y. 
Answer in two weeks. 
ANSWERS TO ENIGMAS, &c., IN No. 889, 
Answer to Miscellaneous EnigmaDoubtful things 
are very uncertain. 
Answer to Anagram: 
And what is hope ? A fairy gleam, 
A charm that soothes awhile; 
An empty, vain, delusive dream, 
More fleet than fortune's smile. 
A rose that buds but never blooms 
To bless the longing sight— 
A fated wretch “ among the tombs,” 
A shadow of the night. 
Answer to Riddle:—Mouse. 
Answer to Arithmetical Problem 12 fat sheep, 18 
store sheep, and 70 lambs. 
RIDDLES—BY TWO SIMPLETONS. 
Simple Simon wishes to know— 
Why a story handed down from generation to 
generation's like the thing on which the butler 
carries up the luncheon, and at, the same time 
like every thing on it ? 
S. S. supplies the solution : Because it is 
tray-dish-au’-all. [The word which S. S. means 
is, therefore, traditional; so we've guessed it.J 
Simple Solomon sends this; 
My fir .-1 is one of several exclamations, 
'Tis also nsed for gardening operations: 
Of it the slave is oft a holder. 
A negro will carry it on his shoulder. 
My second is wkat I will not do 
About my whole, my friend, to yon. 
My whole is where I thiRk I’ll stop, 
And so I will: so let it drop. 
We have guessed it. The word is -ITo-ld. 
Latest and Jkptcst .—H you saw the Great Kahn 
of Tartary laughing fit to kill himself, why 
might you he sure that he wasn’t a Tartar?—Be¬ 
cause he would evidently be .1 Merry Kahn. 
MOORE’S RURAL NEW-YORKER, 
THE LARGEST -CIRCULATING 
AGRICULTURAL, LITERARY AND FAMILY NEWSPAPER, 
18 PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY 
BY D. D. T. MOORE, ROCHESTER, N. Y. 
Terms, in Advance: 
Three Dollaris a Year— To Clubs and Agents as 
follows:—Five copies one year, for $J4 ; Seven, and one, 
free to Club Agent, for fin ; Ten, and one free, lor $25, 
and any greater number at the same rate—only $2,50 per 
copy. Club papers directed to Individuals and sent to.ae 
rnauy different Po«t-Olllces us desired. As we prepay 
American postage on copies sent abroad, $2,70 Is the 
lowest, Club rate tor Canada, and $3,50 to Europe. The 
best way to remit is by Draft on New York, (less cost ol 
exchange,)—and all drafts made payable to the order of 
the Publisher, may hi: mailed at his tusk. 
62T The above Terms and Rates must be strictly ad¬ 
hered to so long ns published. Those who remit less 
than specified price lor a club or single copj, will be 
credited only as per rates. 
A Modern Dogberry. —An irascible old gent, 
who formerly held the “posish” of a justice of 
the peace, was going down the street one day, 
when ft youth accosted him in a manuer that did 
not come up to his honor’s idea of respect due 
him. “ Young man,” said lie, “I line you live 
dollars for contempt of court,” “ Why, judge,” 
said the offender, “you are not in session.” 
“This court,” replied the judge, thoroughly 
irritated, “is always in session, and consequent¬ 
ly always an object, of contempt.” 
guMiston* to ttto public 
Back Numbers of this Volume (from Jan.5,) can 
still be supplied,—so that ( hose who desire them mnj’ yet 
secure all the numbers of the Rural for 1867, and thus 
have thcwliole volume, complete for blading and refer- 
rence, at the close of the year. Tell your neighbors of 
lids, :uid especially chronic borrowers of Ibe Rural. 
The Best AVay to obtain subscribers for the Rural 
is to show the- paper. Take a number In your pocket 
when you go visiting, or to the store, mill, etc. 
Remit by Draft. —Club Agents arc requested to 
remit by Draft or P. O. Orders, whenever they can be 
obtained, and cither can be sent at our risk. 
Keep a List !—If each agent will keep a list of all 
the names sent ns, with dates and amonuls of remit¬ 
tances, it will greutly facilitate the correction of any 
errors which may be made at cither end of the line. 
About Premiums, &c.—Agents and others who 
form clnhs for our premiums will please he careful, in 
sending In their lists, to note which are the new sub¬ 
scribers and which are the renewals. This is essential 
that we may keep the accounts correctly. 
Additions to Clnb9 are always in order, whether in 
ones, twos, lives, tens, or any oilier number. Subscrip¬ 
tions can begin with the volume or auy number; but the 
former Is the best time, and we shall send from it for 
some weeks, unless directed otherwise. Please note. 
Tbe Price of the Rnrai.-If any one objects to 
the price of the Rural, please ask him or her to com¬ 
pare the paper In Contents, Appearance, &e., with any 
similar journal, weekly or monthly,—or with auy reprint 
of a daily or trashy literary paper. State the fact that 
the first cost of the Rural (tor Editorial and other Con¬ 
tributions, Engravings, &c., &c.) is far greater than that 
of any of its contemporaries — and moreover that it is 
far cheaper now, at $3, than It was nt $2 before the war, 
compared with the prices of provisions, clothing, etc. 
A little examination aud figuring will satisfy any candid, 
intelligent person that the Rural New-Yorker is really 
the cheapest paper of its class. 
READER, — Please act ns C(ub Agent for 
tbe Rural, or induce your Post-Raster or 
some other influential person to become a re¬ 
cruiting officer for the “Rural Brigade.” 
Natural Feeling. —Sowerkrout, the old 
Bachelor, was admiring a young lady dressed in 
the highest style of fashion, when we ventured 
to remark, “ That’s a fine-looking lady; but the 
change in the weather this evening seems to af¬ 
fect her—she seems to feel cold.” “Happy to 
hear it,” said he snappishly; “I’m glad she has 
one natural feeling left.” 
ONA VINES AND IONA WOOD FOR Sale 
m reduced prices. Address 
Stf-iteo MOORE & RICHARDSON, Geueva, N. Y. 
E MPLOYMENT.—Tl»e Auburn Pub¬ 
lishing Company offer the Bust History of the 
Keueli.ion. /Attest, Cheapest, most Complete. 
The Best Im,us«atkd Natural History, 
Tub Best Work ox the Domestic Animals. 
The Best AYokk ox the Farm and Gardens. 
The Best Family Receipt Book, &c.. itc. 
The best Terms, and the most reliable Instr uctions to 
Agents. Address E. G. STOKKF, 
SftMk Publishing Agent. Auburn, N. Y. 
Fences and Fencing.— Good fencing is essen¬ 
tial on a farm. (Jet a good “ fencing master ” to 
teach you. A rail fence is better than an imag¬ 
inary one. You can't repair a worm, fence by 
taking vermifuge. Neither can you cut good 
w hitewash brashes out of brush fences. Minzter 
can tell you that. 
No More Left.— “According to Milton, Eve 
kept silence in Eden to hear her husband talk,” 
said a gentleman to a lady friend, and then added 
in a melancholy tone, “Alas! there have been 
no Eves since.” “Because there are no 1 ms- 
bands worth listening to,” was the quick retort. 
OR CONCENTRATED LYE! 
By savins and useine your waste grease. No lime ne¬ 
cessary. 12 Pounds of excellent Hard 8oap, or 25 Gal¬ 
lon? of the very best Soft Soap , for only about 30 Cents. 
Directions on each Box. B2r For sale at all Drug and 
Grocery Stores. 
Beware of Counterfeits. 
Be Particular iti Askinit for PENN’A SALT 
APFG. CO.’S riAPONTFIEK. _ 
Sympathy. — Giles (ruefully:) “ Villiam, I’ve 
been an’ gone an’ ’listed!” William: “Lor’! 
’ave yer, though? Got the shillin’?” Giles: 
“ Yes,” William: “ Well, then, let’s go an’ 
’ave a glass at the Barley-Mow. Don’t let’s be 
down-carted! ” — Punch 
[HE PRACTICAL SHEPHERD.—Tliis 
I is the latest and best of Dr. Randall’s works ou 
Hiieer Hnubaudry -the Standard Authority on the sub- 
led. It lolls all about the. Breeding, Management and 
Discuses of sheep, aud should be fit tUe hands of everv 
flock-toaster ou the American Continent. Over 20,000 
coulee already sold. One large himo. volume or (5-1 
pages,—printed, Illustrated and bound in superior style. 
Bent uost-puld on receipt of price—$2. Address 
D. D. T. MOORE, Rochester, N. Y. 
An editor at a dinner table being asked if he 
would take some pudding, replied, in a fit of 
abstraction, “ owing to the crowd of other 
All right.” And I took his money, and matter, we are unable to find room for it.” 
