THE BEST IS THE CHEAPEST! 
tertained only warm feeliugs of admiration for 
Jamks Stuarj:, and most probably the greater 
part of that admiration was for bis superb mus¬ 
tache; (aud, by the way, I would advise all 
young gentlemen who would create a sensation 
among the belles and beans, to cultivate a neat 
little upper-lip fascinator, by all means, but do 
not dye it, never!) 
‘^Nevermind, Tillie,” answered Effie, “yon 
ought to be consoled with the thought that you 
were not the only victim to hit* coquettish in¬ 
genuity, and you know ‘ misery loves company,’ 
—therefore you are uot without this consola¬ 
tion.” 
“Yes, 1 ara well aware of that; bnt what 
would you have me do, Effie,— drop his com¬ 
pany V” 
“That’s it, preciselyonly leave the rest to 
me, arid confide in no person. ADd, I will say 
for it, if .James Stuart does not get the most 
effectual dose, in less than six months, that was 
ever administered to such eases as bis, it will 
not be our fault. Will you consent to this pro¬ 
posal, Tillie ?” 
“ That 1 will, aud I hope you will not fail in 
your undertaking.” 
“ Fail repeated Effie, drawing herself np 
proudly. “ Indeed, I ara not afraid of that. 
You and Ansa shall be revenged, too, Tillie, 
as well as myself.” 
While these two scheming girls were planning 
the downfall of James Stuart Esq., that impor¬ 
tant individual was stroking his irresistible 
mustache with the utmost self-complacency, 
little dreaming that he was the intended victim 
of three of the most mischievous girls that ever 
tormented the life of any poor mortal. 
CONTENTMENT. 
IJ' YOU WAFT A FlltST-CL,ASS 
AGRICULTURAL PAPER, 
HORTICULTURAL PAPER. 
WOOL GROWERS’ PAPER, 
STOCK GROWERS’ PAPER, 
FAMILY PAPER, 
LITERARY PAPER, 
YOUNG PEOPLE S PAPER, 
GENERAL NEWS-PAPEB, 
— (AND THE BEST COMBINATION OF ALL THESE) 
TLIFF SVnSCRTTii: FOR 
MOORE S RURAL NEW-fORKER, 
A WEEKLY JOURNAL, 
Established in IWO.-which Is the Leading and Largest- 
Circnlating RURAL, FAMILY. LITERARY and GEN¬ 
ERAL NEWSPAPER on the Continent—most conclu¬ 
sive evidence that It is 
THE BEST PAPER OF ITS CLASS! 
BT OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES, 
“Max wants hut little here below.” 
Little I ask; my wants are few; 
I only wish a hut of stone 
(A very plain brown Btone will do) 
That I may call my own; 
And close at band is such a one, 
In yonder street, that fronts the sun. 
Plain food is quite enough for me; 
Three courses are as good as ten; 
If Nature can subsist on three, 
Thank Heaven for three —Amen! 
I always thought cold victuals Dice,— 
My choice would be Vanilla-ice. 
I care not much for gold or land: 
Give me a mortgage here and there, 
Some good bank stock, some note of hand, 
Or trlflln : railroad share,— 
I only ask that Fortune send 
A little more than I shall spend, 
Honors arc silly toys, I know, 
And titles are but empty names; 
I would perhaps lie Plenipo— 
But only near St. James; 
I'm very sure I should not care 
To fill our Gubernator’s chair. 
Jewels are baubles; *tis a sin 
To care for such unfruitful things— 
One good sized diamond in a pin, 
Some, not so large, In rings, 
A ruby, and a pearl, or so, 
Will do for mo—I laugh at show. 
My dame ehould dress tri cheap attire 
(Good, heavy silks arc never dear;) 
I own, perhaps 1 might desire 
Some shawl* of true Cashmere- 
Some narrowy crapes of China silk, 
Like wrinkled *kins on scalded milk. 
Wealth’s wasleftal tricks 1 will not learn, 
Nor ape the git Urine upstart fool; 
Shall not carved tables serve my turn, 
But all must be of buhl V 
Give grasping pomp its double care— 
I ask but one recumbent chair. 
Thus humble let me live and die. 
Nor long for Midas’ golden touch; 
If Heaven more generous gifts deny, 
I shall not miss them much— 
Too grateful for the blessing lent 
Of simple tastes and mind content 1 
FORM, STYLE, TERMS, Ac. 
The Rttf.al comprises Eight Rouble Quarto Pages,— 
published tn superior style, with Copper-faced Type, 
Good Paper, and many Appropriate and Costly Engrav¬ 
ings, (11 being the most profusely Illustrated Weekly in 
its sphere of Journalism.;! a Tttlc Page, Index, &c. 
given at close of each Volume, complete for binding. 
TERMS-Only S3 a Yean Five Copies for 
111 : Seven for 111; Ten for I A"), Ac. a new Quarter 
commences Oct. 5. and Volume NIX in Jnntiary. Now 
is the Time to Subscribe nn«l form Clubs. 
The most liberal inducements to Local Agents, Clubs, 
Ac , but do traveling agents arc employed. Specimens, 
Show-Bills, Premium Lists, Ac., sent free —or we will 
send the IS numbers of tliia (Oct. to Jan 1 or any preced¬ 
ing Quarter of this year, on trial, or a* specimens, for 
only Fifty Cents. Address 
D. D. T. MOOIIE, Rochester, N. Y- 
HARD ON JENKINS, 
( Who has been showing that pert Miss Sparkle his new patent enameled Steel Collar.) 
Miss 8.—“Hns it got your name on?” 
Jenkins.— “No. Ah — why do you ask?” 
Miss 8 .— “ Simply because I thought it customary : Fido here has got his name on his. 
She Publisher to the Public 
Local Club Agents.— We want a live, wide-awake 
agent for the Rural in every town where there is none. 
Reader, if you cannot act as such, please induce your 
P. M. or some influential friend to do so. 
Tillie and George. The last time he called 
Tillie’ s remarks became less 3nd less frequent, 
and what little was said to him was said by 
George in a very commonplace manner, and 
upon commonplace subjects. He ceased going 
to Tillie Parker's after that. 
He had neither seen nor heard from Anna 
Perry since he had been so unceremoniously 
dismissed from her company; but he was par¬ 
tially consoled for Anna’s silence and Tillie’s 
coldness, by the bright smiles and encouraging 
manner of F.ffie Gardner, who had hitherto 
treated his advances with only ordinary kind¬ 
ness; though in reality she hud not been as 
indifferent, he believed, as she pretended to be, 
and that he knew was done to accomplish an 
object, undoubtedly. Although James Stijakt 
was, it is true, perfectly well supplied with self- 
conceit, yet it was a general and prevalent 
opinion in the minds of all the girls, that with 
his graceful manners, handsome form, pretty 
mustache and charming conversational powers, 
he was truly one of the very kind of young men 
who always captivate the eye aud heart of 
almost any and cveni young lady with whom they 
come in contact. «mks 8 ; cart’s winsome and 
entertaining mat W'- were well calculated to 
please and charm any fair maid upon whom he 
brought to bear bLs fascinating powers. His 
self-conceit seldom appeared before strangers, 
further than to corif him with the utmost ease 
aud self-possession through difficulties which 
would have discouraged u more bashtul and 
diffident, but, perhaps, better - principled man 
than himself. 
Having received such cool treatment from 
both Anna Perry and Tillie Parker, he now 
devoted all his attentions to Effie Gardner; 
and she, the little witch, led him on uutil he 
was, for the first time in his life, most deeply 
and truly in love, ne had at first courted 
Effie’s society us lie had that of others, just 
for the amusement of gaining her affections; 
but the society be had at first sought alter 
merely for recreation and pastime, finally be¬ 
came to some extent a necessity to him, and 
Effie knew it to be so; therefore, James 
No Traveling Agents are employed by ns, and we 
give no certificate* of agency. Any person so disposed 
can act as Local Club Agent, on his or her own author¬ 
ity, and compote for premiums, etc. 
How to Remit.—The safest way te remit for the 
Rural is by Draft or Post-Office Money Order, —and 
cither of these, If made payable to his order, maybe sent 
at the risk of the Publisher. 
ILLUSTRATED PRIZE REBUS, 
ceive the word “not at home” from two young 
ladies whom he knew were “ dead in love with 
him.” Yes, he knew there must be some mis¬ 
take about it, surely, though Miss Anna was 
absent on one of the evenings she had always 
set apart for his coming; yet he was certain that 
some important business must have taken her 
from home very suddenly, as he had seen her on 
the street that morning; or, what was more 
likely, she was in at the time, but the servant 
had misinformed her as to who had called, so 
Anna had sent down the word “not at home” 
that she might have no other visitors when he, 
Mr. James Stuart, called. Yes, that must be 
it! and most probably the dear girl would pass 
a sleepless night on account of his absence; but 
lie would call again the very next evening and 
make it all right; and its for Tillie Parker, he 
knew her cold reception was only put on to bring 
him all the sooner to her feet; bnt be really 
hoped that the girl would not think too much 
of him, as he would he verylikely to get himself 
into a confounded difficulty if he didn’t look 
out. 
The next evening he called again on Anna, for 
the purpose of soothing the poor girl, and 
cheering her up, on account of his absence; but 
lie was rather surprised, and looked doubly 
astonished, when the servant girl repeated the 
same words as on the previous evening, ‘'■not at 
homeI" 
James Stuart descended the 6teps, mutter¬ 
ing to himself, “Confound the girl; 1 wonder 
what is np now ? 1 will 6end her a note to-mor¬ 
row and demand an explanation.” Accordingly 
the note was sent, and the answer came from 
Anna requesting him to discontinue his visits, 
altogether, at her home. This note and its con¬ 
tents took him all aback entirely; but the only 
reasonable conclusion which he could arrive at, 
iu justification of her course, was, that Anna 
was, most likely, so terribly provoked at his 
supposed absence ou the first, regularly appoint¬ 
ed evening, upon which he was to call, that she 
had, in her provocation, told the servant to in¬ 
form him she was “not at home” the next 
evening when be called; and now in her in¬ 
creased auger. Miss Anna had sent him word in 
the note “not to call agaiu,” etc. But, if he 
would only let her alone, he knew that she 
would relent, and be glud again to resume 
his acquaintance, so soon as she found out her 
fatal mistake in the matter, which she surely 
must discover sooner or later. He was certain 
Ansa would retract when she made the true 
discovery, aud then she would look for his 
coming again as impatiently as she had hereto¬ 
fore. As for Tillie Parker, he must go and 
see her soon, again, as he was afraid she could 
scarcely live out of his presence. He was sorry 
About Premiums, Ac. —Agents and other* who 
form clubs lor our premiums will please be careful, in 
Bending in their lists, to note which are the new sub¬ 
scribers and which are the renneaIs. This Is essential 
that we may keep the accounts correctly. 
Written for Moore’s Rural New-Yorker 
Our Club Rate.—The lowest Club Rate of the 
Rural is fi.50, and if uuy agents offer it for less they 
must pay us that price. Our rates arc invariable, and 
none ure authorized to depart froru them —thongh of 
course we cannot prevent agents from doing so, or even 
giving away the paper; that is their business. 
BY J. T. YARRINGTON 
Premium List, bUow-BIII, Ac.-Our Premiums 
to Club Agcuts are more liberal than ever before, bnt 
we have not space to give a list of them in the Rural. 
■premium Lins,Show-Bills, Specimens,&c.,are promptly 
sent, free, to all applicants- Give us yoor address, and 
also that of any friends who may be disposed to form 
clubs, that you and they may see our offers of “Good 
Pay tor Dolug Good.”_ 
How to Help the Rural. -There are numerous 
ways In which It* friends can aid in circulating the 
Rubai.. First, show the paper, or talk to your friends 
about It, or both. Get op a club, or uld some friend to 
do so—or Induce, your P. M. to act a* agent. Our pre¬ 
miums arc liberal aud sure. Send for the list, which 
(together with show-bill, prospectus, &c.,) we send free. 
A little effort will secure a good club in almost any lo¬ 
cality, and this Is the best season to make the effort. 
Reader, will you please see that the matter is attended 
to in your neighborhood? 
Rochester, N. Y. g. f. 
J3J" To the person (residing out of this county) 
forwarding the first correct answer to the above Re¬ 
bus (within two weeks) we will send the Rural 
New-Yorker for 186S,— or for one year from Oct. 1, 
1867, if preferred. 
ZSr Answer in three weeks. 
For Moore's Rural New-Yorker, 
GEOGRAPHICAL ENIGMA. 
I am composed of 15 letters. 
My 1, Id, 6, 0,15, 1,12 Is a village in Western N. Y. 
My 13, 7,10, 2, 4, 11 is a river in England. 
My 7, 3,11,12 is a volcano. 
My 14, ti, 8, 2 is a sea east of China. 
My 4, 5.15,12, C, 2 is an island in Lake Michigan. 
My 12, 6,14, 12,11.15 is the name of a capitol. 
My whole is the name of a well known humorist, 
East Palmyra, N. Y. O. M. Clark, 
Answer in two weeks. 
The Price of the Rural.—If any one objects t« 
the price of the Rural, please ask him or her to com¬ 
pare the paper In Contents, Appearance. Ac-, with any 
similar Journal, weekty or monthly,—or with any reprint 
Of a dally or trashy literary paper, state the fact that 
the flrat cost of the Rural (for Editorial and other Con¬ 
tributions, Engraving*, &0-, <&c.) Is far greater than that 
of any of its contemporaries,—and moreover that it is 
far cheaper now, at |3, than it was at f2 before the war, 
compared with the prices of provisions, clothing, etc. 
Allttle examination and figuring will satisfy any candid, 
intelligent person that the Rural Njcw-Yokkek is really 
the cheapest paper of Us class. 
For Moore’s Rural New-Yorker, 
MISCELLANEOUS ENIGMA. 
PARIS EXPOSITION, 1867, 
W. BAKER & CO’S 
■’tf American, French, 
Homoeopathic 
VANILLA CHOCOLATE 
J PREPARED COCOA, 
Cocoa Paste, Hmoxb 
pathic Cocoa, Cocoa 
Leaf, Flower and Shell* OrnrlcsA 
Fruit of the Cocoa OheUS, (AOC/CCa 
with apod ojtened. L&COft, etc. 
T HESE Manufactures, to which rnisr premi¬ 
ums have been awarded by the uni*r insti¬ 
tutes as cl fairs of the Union, and at the PARIS 
EXPOSITION OF 1807, are m i excellent diet for 
children, invalids and persons in health, allay 
rather than Induce the nervous excitement at¬ 
tendant upon the use of tea or coffee, and are 
recommended by the most eminent physicians. 
For sale by the- principal Grocers in the United 
States. 
^ WALTER BAKER & CO., 
Dorchester. * • - IVIass. 
For Moore’s Rural New-Yorker, 
A CHARADE. 
For Moore’s Rural New-Yorker, 
AN ANAGRAM. 
Wot staph eald wapdur morf weblo, 
Dan nagles taiw veboa, 
Ohw ontuc hace ntgnurb file pord’s wolf, 
Ehac flllang rate fo olve. 
Clarence Center, N. Y. Mary A. Rodes. 
Answer tn two weeks. 
© TTEALTH AND ECONOMY, 
I 1 Patent Lead Encased Block-Tin 
Pipe—Recommended by the Croton 
Water Hoard of New York, and the 
Boards of Brooklyn, Philadelphia and 
Boston and by ilie most eminent med¬ 
ical men of the country. Costs less 
than Lead Pipe, and is uiut-.h stronger. 
Recent Improvement* enable us to 
supply (Ms Pipe at a less price per foot 
than common Lead Pipe. To give the cost per foot, 
please furnish the pressure or head of water, and bore 
of Pipe. Pamphlets sent fbee on application. Address 
THE COLWELL, SHAW & WILLARD MANUFAC¬ 
TURING CO., foot of West 37th St., or 105 Beekmau St. 
Cornerof Pearl Street,New York. We al 90 manufacture 
and keep constantly on hand, all and sizes weights of 
Lead Pipe and Sheet Lead. 930-4t 
George, aud the slight seemed to be au inteuded wc . e ^ 
one, he, James Stuart, thought. He left at an -*—•--- 
early hour, not feeling at all satisfied with the Books. —Give us a house furnished' 
evening's proceedings, and quite chagrined over rather than furniture. Both if you caD, 
the treatment he had received from Miss Tillie at any rate. To spend several days it 
Parker and company. He felt as though he house and hunger for something to i 
could not “give up the ship” yet; he had eer- yon are treading on costly carpets, i 
tainly the first claims, he thought, upon her down on luxurious chairs, and alee 
attentions, and had kept company with her down, is as if one-were bribing your b 
before Geobge Gardner had, and he thought sake of cheating your mind. Book 
surely the oldest elaimaut had first rights, windows through which the soul loo 
therefore he called afterwards several times, house without books is like a room wi 
Every time he went he invariably fouud George dows. A hook is good company; il 
Gardner there, and was always received with conversation without loquacity. It ta 
the same coldness and indifference by both not through the ear, but another way, 
more around ner nan-pouung 
Tillie was a great lover of fun, and she prom¬ 
ised herself a rich treat from James Stuart’s 
downfall. She knew there were no other two 
girl6 in the neighborhood who could better 
bring about such an eventful undertaking, than 
the provoking witch, Effie Gardner, who cap¬ 
tivated more hearts, and made more conquests, 
than ever General Gf.ant did, with all his vast 
army, aud Effie’? companion, Anna Perry, a 
great connoisseur in human strategy. Beside, 
Ttli.ie wished for nothing better than to Bee the 
one by whom she had been taken in, caught in 
his own trap, or paid back in his own coin, as 
EmE termed it. Very fortunately she had en- 
ANSWEB8 TO ENIGMAS, &c., IN No. 930. 
Answer to Geographical EnigmaHonesty is the 
best Policy. 
Answer to Anagram: 
Father 1 when I shall come to thee some day 
Bringing my eheaves, 
Wilt thou look down on me and say 
Nothing bnt leaveB t 
I know they are not much, my sonl despairs 
And silent grieves, 
To find among the wheat so many lares, 
Bound in my sheaves. 
Answer to Poetical EnigmaCares (caress.) 
S END STA1TEP FOB. SIXTEEN 
rages Description of some of the finest 
Imported and Thorough-Bred Animals; 
and Fowls in America. 
L. B. SILVER, Salem, O. 
Thb Rural Nkw.Yokkkr Is the best Farm and Fire¬ 
side Journal in America, and hag justly earned all its 
devoted editor claims for it .—Chicayo Dally Democrat. 
