286 
The RURAL. NEW-YORKER 
Pastoral Parson and His Country Folks 
By Rev. George B. Gilbert 
A Sleigh Ride. —The other night the 
’phone rang and some one wanted to 
speak with Shelley, who is now in his 
last year in high school. Shelley came to 
the 'phone, and the Parson heard him 
say: “No, no, I guess I won’t go." 
"What is it?” asked tiie Parson. , “It is 
that sleigh ride 1 told you of. They are 
going to that place 10 miles down the 
river with a four-horse sled.” Now the 
Parson had been over that road the day 
before, and about half way it was just 
as good sleighing as might be expected on 
the desert of Sahara. ”It wasn't to cost 
much," added Shelley, "only 75 cents, but 
I don’t care for that kind of sledding.” 
So Shelley didn't go. 
The Ride Down.— So the party started 
on (he ride. Two two-seated sleighs Jed 
the way with livery horses attached. The 
first team struck a good stony hare spot 
about six miles out. The sleigh stopped, but 
the horse kept going, taking the crossbar 
and part of the harness. They got the 
sleigh out of the way. and along came 
the other two-seater at a good clip to 
show these how to do it. They struck 
the bare spot, and their sleigh stopped, 
and the horse left them with certain frag¬ 
ments of harness. So they 'phoned hack 
to town and hired a truck to conic and 
carry them the rest of the way. The 
four horses managed to drag the big sled 
over the bare ground. 
Coming Home. —Coming home proved 
to be even more disastrous than going 
down. Some girh had a chance to got 
home without waiting for the chaperones, 
and did so, and some of the boys did not 
carry on to the teacher’s liking. The 
wboie party got home ill the wee hours 
of the morning, with high school opening 
at 8:10 the next day. I low many got 
suspended for two weeks? It was hard 
to find out, and also you only got rumors 
as to how much it cost erodi fellow, but 
it was hinted to be around .$8. So the 
sleighing party came to an end, and Shel¬ 
ley was not sorry he did not go. 
Flossie and tjie Calf. —"Have you 
been crying?” asked Mrs. Parson of Clos- 
sie the other night when he arrived from 
school. Yes. the hoy had 'been crying. 
It seemed that the lady principal of the 
school went into Flossie's room and asked 
about those who wanted to buy cocoa at 
noon. This woman teacher, of whom the 
Parson has written before, is noted for 
two things especially—-yelling and calling 
names. She probably teaches them a 
good deal, but at altogether too high a 
cost, for the price paid is hate—too high 
a price to pay for anything in this world. 
So she snapped at him in her usual way. 
and being a .sensitive child and not used 
to such conversation in his home, he just 
put his head down on his desk and began 
to cry. Whereupon she redoubled her 
yelling, ‘‘hollering." George calls it. and 
told Clossic he was a "great calf." and 
that she would bring up some hay for him 
to eat and a cradle for him to lie in. 
(Calves and cradles arc a new combina¬ 
tion to the Parson.) Now we are all in¬ 
terested in our children, but when a 
farmer learns that his boy particularly 
resembles a calf if is a matter of double 
interest. 
The Pabsox Gets Disliked. —Now 
anyone who has such keen insight into 
character as to find so many of her 
pupils ‘‘great boobs" and others to re¬ 
semble the animals ought to be made full 
use of. So when Hie Parson had occasion 
about newspaper work, and during his 
talk he spoke of the church “notices" put 
in the papers. He considered those that 
just stated the place and time and denomi¬ 
nation altogether a waste of time and 
money. The church people know this, 
anyway, and those who are stopping in 
town or belong nowhere will never be at¬ 
tracted by it. Many of these notices in¬ 
vite you to come, hut for what? Appar¬ 
ently to fill up the pews. "Don't advertise 
that you arc going to talk about hell.” he 
said. "The average man gets all that he 
wants every day, and, a great deal more, 
and the less he hears about it, the better 
it suits hirn." 
A Helpful Message. —"Let a helpful 
message catch the eye” as the very first 
thing in your advertisement or church no¬ 
tice. For instance, here is a man in the 
city who is lonely—many in the big cities 
are lonely, if not homesick. ‘‘Are we 
lonely?” might be the headiug. and “They 
all forsook Dim and fled” might be the 
text. Dave a subject, that is of interest 
to people at this present time. Let it 
have to do with what they have been 
way. To her mind, calling washing a 
game didn't make it so by a long shot. 
The Parson admits there may be others 
who agree with her. 
Coming and Going, —"It ruined our 
ear," said a back-to-thc-lander to the Par¬ 
son one day. "What ruined your car?" 
asked the Parson. "Why. the terrible 
time we had moving out. here," was the 
answer. The Parson remembered about 
it. Dow the great New York track had 
gotten stuck over on Pine Orchard Dill, 
and how they worked and worked, and 
could not get it out. and then in the night 
they had to get teams and wagons and 
the auto and take off all that stuff and 
carry it. two miles to where they had 
bought a place. What can the truck driv¬ 
ers in the city be thinking about to start 
right out for the eoimtr.v the very buck 
country —with those great heavy trucks, 
with their trend a great deal wider than 
the country roads? The bridges won't 
hold them, the curves are too sharp for 
them, the roadbeds are too soft for them. 
More than all this, they seem most always 
to come the wrong route, get lost in find¬ 
ing the place they want, get here just at 
night, or in the night, while the people 
have arrived ahead, and stand waiting 
and waiting, with not. a hit of furniture 
in the house nr anything to eat. Of 
course, "nothing will even be scratched 
in a furniture truck." Oh. no! In this 
ease the piano was entirely put out of 
commission and two sewing machines 
Copyright by Ewing Galloway, New York 
Here is the oldest valentine in the world—hand made and printed. If any reader of 
The R, N.-Y. has not engraved such a valentine in his younger days, he should get 
out at once and make good! Beech trees seem to be preferred! 
to write an excuse for George he added 
that lie noted with interest that C’lossie 
had been found to resemble a calf, and 
wondered if anv of the others had shown 
any resemblance to a hear. Now what 
was the matter with that? The Parson 
didn’t call anybody a bear, didn't hint 
that anybody was a Bear. As long as 
the likeness of the family to the animals 
was*bcing checked up. why not go through 
the list? 
A Mistake. —It was a mistake for 
George to show the note to the hoys be¬ 
fore school began. He ought not. to have 
done it. But, then, did not the teacher 
always call thp boys down with terrible 
epithets right before the whole school? 
If the children’s feelings and emotions 
are to be duly ridiculed and hollered out 
of them, how much thought will they have 
for the feelings of others? How many 
a father hollers at and ridicules and 
shames his boy right before others when 
the boy is»sinalL and then, when the boy 
is big, the father whines around because 
the hoy does not show him respect. IIow 
much respect, did lie ever show the hoy? 
Children are great imitators, and, after 
all. we get just about what we give. And 
so it came about with this teacher. The 
note was really a compliment—if she 
could detect the qualities of a calf, why 
not those of a bear? But the teacher did 
not look at it rlmr way: very far from it! 
However, be it said to her credit, she has 
been quite a different person since, and 
hasn't called the children names or hol¬ 
lered at them half as had. 
Message or Money. -The Parson sup¬ 
poses it must he both in the church—the 
message to be delivered and money gath¬ 
ered to pay the bills. But we must be 
careful which is the more to the front. 
The Parson jiiis been T® heap a man spcink- 
reading this week and pondering about. 
Let it be of especial help to the people 
who are to hear it. L<*t the notice leave 
the impression that you are striving to 
advise a helpful Christian message. 
Christian Advertising.— A little be¬ 
fore Christmas there appeared in one of 
the church papers a very timely article 
on the messarge of Christmas to the world 
today. This man, who has been in the 
newspaper business all Ins life, suggested 
to a prominent minister in New York 
that this article be inserted as a paid ad¬ 
vertisement in one of the large New York 
dailies. The in Inkster did it at a cost of 
over $400—half-page advertisement with 
three-inch white margin. In going from 
his home in Jersey City to his office in 
New York the next morning, he counted 
over 50 people reading that Christian mes¬ 
sage. This man thought there was a 
great opportunity for advertising open to 
the Christian church, but it must not 
savor of money, or filling pews, or de¬ 
nominational rivalry. 
Playing the Game.—T his man always 
spoke of any kind of work about news¬ 
papers as "playing the game." No matter 
how disagreeable, or bow offensive, or how 
discouraging, it. was "playing the game." 
Isn't there a good deal in the name we 
give a thing? It doesn’t much matter 
what is on your plate if you’ve got a nice, 
rich, brown gravy to put over it. Mrs. 
Parson is at this minute out in the kitchen 
doing a fearfully big washing. The 
Parson has been telling her how we ought 
to dub all our kinds of work ns "playing 
the game.’’ Now, if you could just keep 
saying to yourself. “I am playing the 
game of washing.” how much easier it 
would be! But Airs. Parson didn’t see it. 
.She L'uuiu- -very fa-t—froiu -seeing -it- that 
were so smashed they could never use 
them, and altogether it was the worst 
hauged-up lot of furniture the Parson 
ever saw. The men folks don’t mind it 
so much, but it is terrible for the women 
folks to have the furniture all scratched 
and broken. 
Going Back. —After staying for six 
months on the farm they bought, these 
people decided they had had enough of 
it. and right in January went down to 
New York and engaged a great moving 
truck to come up for the stuff. Of course, 
the streets in New York were like Sum¬ 
mer. blit before this truck got. within 10 
miles of its destination, it found itself on 
perfectly glare ice—and with no chains. 
Tt took this truck some 30'hours to go 
the last seven miles of the trip, and even 
then it was a good half mile from the fur¬ 
niture. Some of the time it was in the 
road, but more of the time it wasn’t, and 
it broke up $8.50 worth of farmers' chains 
at that. One thing the driver and owner 
did not lack for company, for four friends 
of the moving family took occasion for 
a free ride into the country, and they 
picked itf) cue tramp, and the truckman 
brought two helpers, so it made just eight 
men. What with the natives that gath¬ 
ered around when the tru ' would slide 
off the road, there were at times more 
than 20 men around her. These eight 
men, of course, had to stay two nights 
and all one day with the moving family, 
making 20 to keep, with everything in the 
house all upset for moving. 
I X) A DING TT».—It happened to be on a 
Sunday that they drew the furniture, 
piano and all, to the big van and loaded 
her up. It was bitter cold, but they 
finished loading Monday morning, and 
about 11 o'clock they decided to start the 
February 25, 1922 
motor. P.efore starting her at all, they 
went to the well and filled her up with 
that cold ice water. It wouldn't take 
more than a peek to imagine what hap¬ 
pened to that water as it struck those 
radiator pipes. The thermometer must 
have been down around zero all night. It 
took three hours to start the engine at all. 
Dad they just filled her with warm water, 
thin bit of history might never have been 
written, it was the middle of the after¬ 
noon when they started her down through 
the woods. How that truck ever went 
down that ice without slipping off the 
road and smashing all to pieces, the Par¬ 
son can novel' understand, but she did. 
It Warms Fi>. Right away, however, 
it began to get terribly hot. Of course, 
it did, ns that: ice water in those zero 
pipes had frozen solid. It seems queer 
that? a frozen radiator should boil so ter¬ 
ribly ; but. that is just what it will do, as 
the water cannot circulate. When your 
radiator freezes, you must stop, hold a 
blanket, or. better, a paper over the front, 
stopping the cold air from going in, and 
let the car run till the radiator thaws— 
it generally will not. take long. But this 
man kept pushing the truck along till at 
last there was a regular explosion, and a 
great hole was blown right out of the ra¬ 
diator. 8n, then, they got it into a barn, 
having only gone four or live miles, and 
left it there. Five of the men stayed at 
a farmhouse all that night, while three 
of them headed afoot for New York City, 
deciding that these motor trips to the 
country in the middle of January were 
not just what they were cracked up to be. 
Here in tins old barn stayed the truck and 
the furniture till the last of the week. 
The Last Start. —On Saturday one 
of the fondly that owned the furniture 
and the owner of the truck arrived with 
some kind of metal cement to patch up 
the radiator and start for New York. 
They worked her along about eight or 10 
miles that forenoon, with the radiator 
leaking badly, and then they ran her into 
a garage and went to a restaurant for 
lunch. With the truck in the garage, 
where the radiator could be fixed, and a 
good State road ahead, they had visions 
of home at last. Rut, alas! 
Lunch Disturbed— Their lunch, how¬ 
ever. was badly disturbed. They hud 
fairly settled down when they heard a 
great noise out on the street, and by went 
the local fire department sticli as it was. 
Some one rushed in to tell them the garage 
was on fire. Sure enough, if was! There 
was a hole burned clear through the roof 
of the garage—everybody had gone to din¬ 
ner—the truck was on lire, and two other 
cars were on fire. Hither the truck was 
so hot it caught from an overheated en¬ 
gine. or. more likely, it was from cigar¬ 
ette butts from the men iu front, for it 
seemed to have started right in the top 
of the furniture. The body of the truck 
was about ruined, and the furniture— 
well, the last the. Parson heard, it wasn’t 
worth unloading, and not a cent of insur¬ 
ance! The Parson was hr the house they 
left the other day. There it stood, a 
sorry witness to such tragic attempts to 
change from city to country life. Thirty- 
two panes of glass are broken out to let 
in the rain and snow. 
Kegs for Hospital.- —Well, the days 
are getting longer, and however cold it 
may lie, it does not seem so much like 
Winter. The hens are singing, if the 
birds tire not, and the bovs get more and 
in ore eggs every day. The Parson has 
just read a harvest festival notice which 
must have been written by a minister from 
the city. "Offerings of fruit, flowers, 
vegetables, and fresh eggs will he grate¬ 
fully received. If every member of the 
congregation lays two eggs iu the font on 
the day of the festival, they will be sent 
to the hospital." 
Canary Loses Feathers 
My bird does not eat his seed very 
well, and his feathers do not come on 
him. He has scarcely any feathers at 
all. He sings well, and seems well 
nough. but he does not feather out as 
he ought to. mrs. c. M. 
New York. 
Is your bird an old one? Usually this 
incomplete molt is a sign of old age or 
breakdown, and there is no remedy. Last 
year my sister’s pet had not stamina 
enough to grow the big wing and tail 
feathers. lie died, really, of old age. 
No wonder the bird does not eat well if 
he is out of Condition, but I am surprised 
that he should still sing well. Has he 
any skin disease? Are you sure there are 
no vermin troubling him? Does he pull 
out his feathers? You will have to watch 
hirn and decide these questions for your¬ 
self. 
Partial loss of appetite is common dur¬ 
ing molting. A few hemp seeds may be 
the thing he craves, or a bread of millet 
or even of common foxtail put in the cage 
may give a fillip to his jaded appetite. 
A tiny bit of grated beet root or carrot 
each day (as much as he will eat dean) 
may help him. Red pepper may he added 
to his egg food, which he should have 
every day while he is ill. Weak saffron 
tea might he given in place of plain 
drinking water. None of these things 
can hurt him. Any bird-store man will 
sell you a tonic that would put your bird 
into better shape, 
If the bird has skin disease be careful 
to keep everything clean, and give him 
plain food. If he pulls his feathers, his 
food may have been too rich. "Bare 
spots without feathers may be caused,” 
says an authority, “by mites, unfinished 
molting, old age or blood out of order.” 
E. S. K. 
