55& 
The RURAL NEW-YORKER 
April 15, 2025 
HOPE FARM NOTES 
Here it is the night of April 1, and 
Spring has surely run true to tradition. 
The rain came in Hoods last night. Then 
this morning the sun broke through 
bright and smiling. We were all ready 
for a beautiful day, but Spring fooled us 
again, and here we are with a wild, biting 
wind and something like a combination 
of bail and snow which cuts like bullets. 
Well, it’s all in the April fool game, ap¬ 
parently. I succeeded in "catching” our 
family. After supper I told a thrilling 
story of a strange wild animal, which at¬ 
tacked a child. Men rushed to the rescue 
and drove the beast away, but they found 
the child unconscious. By this time I had 
all our folks, from little Rose up. wild- 
eyed and expectant. The child finally 
struggled back to life, and they all gath¬ 
ered around to catch her first words. She 
gazed at them for a moment and then 
said : 
"What happens on April 1?” 
There was a chorus of groans around 
our fire, and I went. hack to my book, 
remarking that these young folks are not 
1 'iite so smart after all. Hut there was 
a base conspiracy being worked out. 
After a little Cherry-top went out, appar¬ 
ently to get a drink of water. Soon he 
• appeared with waving arms, shouting: 
"Coijnp! Come! Quick!” All hands 
•ushed out after him. even Mother jump¬ 
ing from her comfortable chair. I knew 
would require some great excitement 
cc make her run as she did. I confess 
that I ran after them. The front door 
was open, and all the family gathered 
beside it in great excitement. 
A fire or a hold-up? No; just as I got 
to the door there was a loud chorus of: 
"April fool!” 
I confess that I felt it was an appro¬ 
priate title. As little Rose danced glee¬ 
fully before me, I thought I would try 
her. So I tried to put on an injured look 
as I said-: 
“Oh. little Rose. I did not think you 
would sit. there and let. f hern plot to fool 
rni*—when I couldn’t hear what they 
wore saying. Is my little girl a conspir¬ 
ator?" 
It was something of a struggle for her, 
hut she finally made it out. 
“Oh, it was only April fool; and didn’t 
you fool us?” 
Surely, I must take the same sporting 
tonic I pour out for others. 
* * * * * 
Of course, I know that some dignified 
people who read* this will say it is very 
small business for grown-up folks to in¬ 
dulge in. Well, one great advantage of 
1 ving the life ,»f a farmer is that you are 
not obliged to be dignified. You can be 
natural, and you can enjoy the follies and 
fancies of youth with vour children. 
Those of you who have read the book, “If 
"Winter Comes.” will remember how Mark 
Sabre was a man of humor, who kept 
himself fresh and young through his little 
jokes and fancies. His wife had no more 
sense of humor than a gate post: not as 
much, in fact. Her life was so serious 
that it grew narrow and selfish. She prac¬ 
tically ruined her husband’s life, when 
she might have made a great man of him. 
I thought about all this as I came hack 
to my book, after running to the “fire.” 
Little Rose came and climbed on my 
knee, as if to makje up for joining the 
conspirators, and she pushed my book 
away as if it were a rival. I am glad 
she did, for as we sat there mv mind 
went back to another “April fool” night, 
when a certain young man with whom 
I am intimately acquainted played the 
part, of political issue. Wie will let this 
young man tell his own story; hut. first 
shake up that fire and bring in that bas¬ 
ket of apples outside. Don’t lot. that dog 
lie on the concrete before the fire. Why 
not give him that old coat for a bed? 
Thepe’s that tiger cat at the window! 
I know' that cats ought, to he killing rats 
at. the barn; but why not fool him once 
with a warm nest, by the fire? 
* * * * * 
"Well, sir, many years ago I taught a 
Wiuter school in a Western State. Wolf 
Creek district was six miles from town : 
the roads were clay, and that doubled the 
distance. ‘Little red schoolhouse?’ I 
never knew what the original color was. 
It had not been painted for years. There 
was one room, into which about 40 pupils 
crowded. I had classes all the way from 
little tots who could not tell A from B to 
three big corn-huskers who studied alge¬ 
bra. I got $25 a month, served as my 
own janitor, and ’hoarded around’—(hat 
is. I spent a week with each family. I 
got to be a political issue ov,er the spell¬ 
ing book. The long-established custom 
was for alf the larger pupils to stand up 
in a row and spell the words out loud. 
It occurred to me that this was a useless- 
exercise. for few people have any great 
use for orthography, except in writing. I 
found there were people in my school who 
could ‘spell down’ the district, yet when 
they came to write a letter, they made the 
most, foolish blunders in spelling. So, 
instead of having the pupils stand up and 
shout the letters, I had them all write the 
words as I gave them out, thus combining 
the writing and spelling in one exercise. 
1 started this, and then the storm broke. 
I never knew until that day wlifit school 
polities would mean. 1 was hoarding 
that week with Henry Johnson. Old 
Grandfather firayhnm, his father-in-law, 
hud two chief reasons for being proud— 
he was a Democrat ami he bailed from 
^Hjoharie Co.. N. Y, 
“ ‘Well, sir,’ lie would say. ‘there may 
be some nlnccs in the world worth living 
in, but the nearest approach to an earthly 
paradise is old Squeery Co., N. Y. That’s 
the place where they raise grown-up men. 
Always goes Democratic and always will. 
There ain’t no Republicans up there out¬ 
side of jail. What county was it that 
viz up and made them patroons come to 
time? It was Squeery County.’ 
“The old man usually reserved his lec¬ 
tures for the supper table, and that night 
he hardly finished saying grace before he 
began on the sin of changing the plan of 
teaching spelling. 
" ‘I'd like to sec a man propose such 
mi outrage back in old Squeery County! 
We’d ride him out on a rail.’ 
“To my surprise, Henry Johnson was 
a Republican, and. therefore, be f-avored 
the new plan. After supper I went out 
to the bam to help him feed the sheep. 
“ ‘I’ll stand by you,’ he said, ‘because 
these rural Democrats represent the low¬ 
est type of humanity.* 
"When we went back to the house old 
grandpa gave his final arguument. 
“ ‘No one but a Republican would sup¬ 
port such an outrage as you propose and 
who ever saw a Republican who wouldn’t 
steal your clothes if he got a chance?’ 
* $ * * * 
“Strange as it may seem, although the 
teacher and his methods represented the 
issue, the people for the most pail di¬ 
vided according to their political parties. 
One man stopped me on the road with: 
“ T favor mouth spelling, hut darn a 
Democrat. 1 won’t vote for any member 
of that party.’ 
“The test of strength came over the 
election of school trustee, and I wish you 
could have been at the schoolhousc that 
night. It was April 1. and much sucli 
a night as this, only in place of our solid, 
hard roads there was a deep sea of mud 
between the road fences. Every voter in 
the district turned out. Even Grandpa 
(rrayam sat by the stove well wrapped in 
a blanket. 
"I ought not to expose myself on such 
a night, but back in old! Squeery County 
afore now I’ve seen these Republicans try 
to steal an election—and here 1 be.' 
"In order that there, should be no po¬ 
litical advantage on either side, the one 
Prohibitionist, in the district was elected 
chairman, and the one. Green backer secre¬ 
tary. We had to listen to a long temper¬ 
ance speech from the chairman, but finally 
nominations were in order. 
“ ‘Gents, I nominate Ezra Mann,’ spoke 
up a big farmer from the west end n f the 
township. ‘There ain’t Uo frills on him. 
He takes his spelling like he does his med¬ 
icine—standing up, and, what’s more, he’s 
a good Democrat.’ 
“Then up stood a little man with a 
baby in his arms. His wife, a Democrat, 
was at home with the rest of the brood. 
His share of nursery work was to mix 
babies with ballots. 
“ Y nominate Tom Harris. We don’t 
write letters standing up. We sit down 
to do it. Ain’t we got to learn how to 
do it natural? Toni Harris is an old sol¬ 
dier. When the old Hag 11 aimed, he joined 
the army, he didn’t make a run for 
Canada!’ ” 
“The issue was thus made clear, and 
the voting began. Each one wrote his 
ballot and walked up and dropped* it in 
the hat. We all watched the count, and 
it was u very solemn moment when the 
chairman pounded on the table aud made 
his announcement, 
‘ ‘Total number of votes cast 27, of 
which Thomas Harris has 14 and Ezra 
Mann 13.’ 
“‘Glory hallelujah!’ shouted the man 
who nominated Harris. The Lord has 
triumphed over his enemies. His people 
are free! I’m going home to tell the 
woman that, the country’s safe,’ and, gath¬ 
ering up his baby, he tramped out with 
one of his neighbors. It. proved a mistake, 
for these two Harris supporters to leave, 
before it was all over. 
“Old Grandpa Grayhani had to have the 
awful news repeated before be would be¬ 
lieve it. He put on his spectacles and 
read the figures. 
“ ‘Well,’ he said, ‘old Squeery County 
would look just like heaven tonight, if I 
was there, because such an outrage as 
that never could happen. No Republican 
could be elected in Squeery County. The 
race is dying out.’ 
“Then a dapper young man got on his 
feet. He was a young lawyer from the 
county town. Here was his chance, to 
gain a little support in bis canvass for 
county clerk. 
“ ‘Gentlemen,’ he said, ‘this is a fateful 
occasion. If Wolf Creek is permitted to 
go Republican, we may start a conflagra¬ 
tion which will sweep county. State and 
nation into black radicalism. I offer my 
services as your attorney, and demand the 
right to scrutinize those ballots.’ - 
“With the loss of the Harris support¬ 
ers, they voted him the right, and finally, 
with a dramatic flourish, he held up one 
ballot. It. was a slip of paper, on which 
some voter had written in a straggling 
hand—‘Tom Hairs.’ This, of course, was 
an argument in favor of my now system, 
but when did argument interfere with 
politics and not. sustain a knockout? The 
lawyer argued from this that, the vote 
should read Harris, 13, Mann, 13; Hairs. 
1. Consequently it was a tie. Another 
ballot, would have given Mann one ma¬ 
jority. hut the Republicans were alive, 
and they sent a hoy after the man with 
the baby. This boy broke into the kitchen 
just after the Republican had given the 
baby to his Democratic wife. 
“ ‘The Democrats are stealing the elec¬ 
tion!’ screamed the hoy. aud back came 
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THE 
HOPE 
FARM 
BOOK 
This attractive 234-page 
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