1470 
The RURAL NEW-YORKER 
HOPE FARM NOTES 
Food and “Table Manners” 
Like others. I am interested in the 
doings of this Hope Farm man, assuming 
that there is liiy such person. His talk 
about plain living and simple food is well 
enough, but whoever saw a man who 
lived in any such way from choice? You 
take t)Ui) people out of 1.000, and they 
will hunt for the most fashionable food, 
served in the most luxurious style they 
can afford. A man always betrays his 
character and his feeling for the rest of 
mankind by what he cats and the way he 
eats it. I’ll bet this man is a gentleman 
farmer. I'll bet he cornea home and 
"dresses for dinner” in regular evening 
clothes, and is served by a butler and 
several waiters. It’s 10 to one that he 
has a French or Japanese cook, and most 
likely his “dinner” consists of six or 
seven courses. F. s. u. 
That is what I get from one reader, 
who reminds me of Shakespeare's re¬ 
mark : 
“No man’s pie is safe from his ambi¬ 
tious linger!” 
It is good-natured criticism, and I have 
no fault to lind. No doubt F. S. B. and 
all the rest of us have come down from 
the cave men of auclc#IWimes. No doubt 
our ancestors consumed grubs and other 
insects, and other food which now dumb 
brutes will not touch. As an “heir of all 
the ages” F. S. B. no doubt inherits a 
diet which might assert itself if lie were 
made furiously hungry. After the dis¬ 
covery of tire and the habit of cooking 
food. grandfather and grandmother 
(many times removed) no doubt began to 
make a form of soup or stew. F. S. B. 
can, if his imagination has not been 
dulled by good living, vision this ancestor 
grandfather coming back from the chase 
with various small animals which he has 
captured. 7 /is ancestors no doubt ate 
the animals without cooking. One day 
lire appeared. 1‘erhaps there was a flash 
of lightning which set lire to the dry 
grass or brush. This fire swept over the 
country and caught some of the wild ani¬ 
mals in a trap. Following curiously in 
the path of the lire, it is quite likely that 
the men of that age found some of these 
animals roasted to a turn, and the cooked 
meat came to suit them better than the 
raw. 
* * * * * 
Very likely F, S B. has visited some 
high class restaurant and ordered a $3 
porterhouse steak cooked to order. Vlien 
it came, perhaps it was too rare, or per¬ 
haps a little burnt, and he sent it hack 
for better cooking. That may he a habit 
lie has acquired from his ancestor, the 
cave man. F. S. B. can only criticize the 
cook in legal language, but his ancient 
grandfather could take a club and teach 
his wife a lesson in cooking, lie grew 
tired of burnt food and learned to make 
a stew. So when grandfather came home 
with his small animals, grandmother took 
a sharp stone and partly dressed them. 
The original family kettle was no doubt 
a hollow log or stump that would hold 
water, or a hole in some rock. Grand¬ 
mother carried water from the spring 
and partly filled 'his hollow. Then the 
small animals were dropped in with vari¬ 
ous roots and berries and leaves, which 
grandmother knew were pleasant to the 
taste and “healthy.” Then she went to 
the fire and picked out several small hot 
stones. She used thick leaves for gloves, 
and carried these hot stones to the hollow 
stump and dropped them into the water. 
She kepi this up until the water boiled 
and the stew was ready. Very likely F. 
S. B. would have helped his wife at this 
work, but his old ancestor no doubt lay 
comfort ably on hia^hgd of leaves and 
growled trom time ti^ime: 
"Ain’t dinner ready net?” 
Perhaps grandmother burnt her hand 
on a hot stone and Cried with pain, at 
which her husband would take his club 
and remark: 
"I'll give you something t<> cry about if 
you don't keep quiet !" 
* it * * * 
As the original cave man developed, no 
doubt his methods and manners improved, 
lie learned to make a watertight dish of 
bark and guru in which to put the hot 
stones. Then he evolved a rude sort of 
pottery for cooking, and so on to our 
modei'ii system of cooking utensils. Some 
years ago I saw at Union <’allege one of 
the original stoves invented by Kliphalet 
N’otr. who is honored as a public benefac¬ 
tor because bis crude stoves made cooking 
and house heating easier. In his way ihe 
ancestor of F. S. K„ with his hollow 
stump, was a greater man for his time 
than Fliphalet Nott was a century ago. 
With the highest regard for Mr. Edison 
and his gifts to humanity, I think that 
the cave man who put a rush or reed into 
a deep shell, poured fat around it and 
made the first candle, was a greater man 
for his time. When tin 1 stew in the hol¬ 
low stump was well cooked, grandmother 
did not approach her lord and sa.v “din¬ 
ner is served”! Grandfather knew it 
without any invitation, lie was already 
"dressed for dinner." lie spent no time 
saying grace. “Fingers were made before 
forks." and he put his hands right into 
the hot mess and helped himself Grand¬ 
mother kept out «>f sight until he had 
eaten so much that he could only lie down 
and sleep, and then she had what was 
left. Surely grandfather proved the truth 
of F S. B.'s remarks that a man betrays 
bis character and social instincts by what 
he eats. I presume, of course, there were 
vitamines and bacteria in ihose days, but 
F. S. B.’s ancestor just gorged himself in 
the bliss of ignorance and let it go at 
that, 
* * * * * 
As food improved and fire and light and 
industry were mastered, I have no doubt 
that what we may call “table manners” 
developed. It might be that grandfather 
acquired a new wife, a little more fas¬ 
tidious than the others, or perhaps bet¬ 
ter able to fight back. I knew si man 
once whose second wife ordered him 
about ami “bossed" him unmercifully. 
When out of her sight and hearing this 
man was constantly reverting to the hap¬ 
py days when “my first woman made 
things easy.” My notion is that primeval 
man was incapable of developing “table 
manners.” In this respect I think he has 
been tamed and trained by the women. 
Very likely an original grandfather final¬ 
ly found it proper to wipe his hands on 
the rough skin which served him as a 
seat. Then, no doubt, there came mem¬ 
bers of the tribe who began to use green 
leaves as napkins, or even began to wash 
their hands before eating from the hollow 
stump or pot. In fact, I think the use 
of some sort of napkin marked the be¬ 
ginning of wllaf we now rail “table man¬ 
ners.” It seems to me that this has now 
developed into something which interferes 
with nutrition and digestion. I heard a 
man say once that all this state parade 
and “table style” at great dinners “fright¬ 
ened the vitamines out of his victuals.” 
and 1 can understand just what he’meant. 
I was once entertained by some people 
who tried to “put up a front” far beyond 
their financial background. They tried 
to make ns think they had an entire 
army of servants, when, in truth, they 
had one hired man—a deaf man at that. 
I saw this man working at a henhouse 
when we first came. At dinner he was 
dressed up to represent a butler, and he 
played the part well. We were to drive 
to the station after dinner, and the wom¬ 
an of the house wanted to give us a large 
idea of her establishment, so she gave her 
order in a very dignified way: 
“Benson, tell the footman to have the 
carriage ready at 3 o'clock.” 
Of course Benson's cue was to bow 
and say : 
“It shall be done, madamc.” 
Then he was to go out and change his 
coat, put on a wig, or some little dis¬ 
guise. and appear later as “John the foot¬ 
man.” He didn’t quite get the tip 
straight, so he whispered to the lady—at 
least he thought it was a whisper, hut 
the deaf are not good at whispering, and 
everyone heard him ask : 
“Shall 1 change my pants?" 
***** 
As for waiting on the table, most likely 
the original waitress was the cave man’s 
December 1C, 1922 
wife. She boiled the stew in the stump 
and then got out of the way while her 
husband went through the first three 
courses. Then very likely she brought 
honey from some bee tree, and very early 
in history the cave man seems to have 
learned that fermented honey would be 
rnled out by the Volstead law. The only 
tip she got came from a club. In “Diet 
and Knee." F. J\ Armllage says this: 
"In Greenland a man will lie on his 
back and allow his wife to feed him with 
tidbits of blubber and liesh until he is un¬ 
able to move.” 
It would be hard to find a more faith¬ 
ful waitress than that. Armitage also 
tells of an Eskimo who ate 11 lbs. of 
raw salmon for lunch, and a Yakut who 
consumed 30 lbs. of horse meat. Disgust¬ 
ing, you say; but if you were as hungry 
as these men were your highest ambition 
would lie to imitate them. It is, I think, 
a fundamental characteristic of human 
nature for all of us to use, if we can, per¬ 
sonal service, and especially service in 
preparing food, to show our superiority. 
I heard of a dishwasher in a French res¬ 
taurant who was treated with great in¬ 
dignity by the proprietor. Me waited 
his time and finally fell heir to a little 
property. Then he resigned his position, 
“dressed as a gentleman” and ordered a 
dinner .at the restaurant where he had 
served as a menial. And he insisted that 
the proprietor wait on him. Under the 
The present conditions in the business of the farmer 
and m the fertilizer industry call for serious thought. 
Both are going through a readjustment period, with 
wp its hardships and doubts. 
The farmer may well ask whether he is using the most prof¬ 
itable fertilizer. The fertilizer salesman may well inquire 
whether he is selling the kind that will do the farmer the 
most good, and lead to larger sales in the future. 
During the war America could not get Potash, and the use 
of acid phosphate increased. Central Europe could not get 
phosphates, and the use of Potash Salts increased. Today 
plenty of Potash can be had at less than pre-war prices. Now 
is the right time to restore the balance by using more Potash 
in the fertilizer formulas than the average amount used 
before, 5 to 10 per cent. 
Crops take from the soil very much more Potash than phos¬ 
phoric acid. On any soil where Potash has been profitable it 
is not unreasonable now to use at least as much Potash as 
phosphoric acid. Ask the fertilizer agent for prices on this 
kind of goods, and rebuild your soil while Potash is cheap. 
Decently it has been shown that a lack of available magnesia 
causes serious injury to important crops on some soils. 
German Kainit and Manure Salts furnish this soluble mag¬ 
nesia without extra cost. 
SOIL & CROP SERVICE, POTASH SYNDICATE 
H. A. HUSTON, Manager 
42 Broadway New York City 
Ask for POTASH-Buy 
POTASH-Use POTASH 
