1 
f 
v * A NEW.^EAKT. GIFT- 
We oiler all tito grades of Waltham* Watcher, in 
GOLD anti SJLVEft CASKS only, at prices from 
$16.50 ami upward. 
We have it tew only left of (lie Extra .Icweicd 
Chronometer Balance Lever Watches, named “ffm. 
Ellery.'' in solid Sliver Hunting Cases, wltieh we 
offer at the following rates : 
In 2 ox. C un Silver Hunting Chsc,. ? 2 *.' i.o 
In 3 oz. Cnm Silver Hunting Ceao. . I on 
In l ox. Con, Silver Hunting Cast*. W ffi 
they having Pee,i purchased in laif;e QuiiiitiUe- prior 
t.o the late advance in price -, ami making them the 
cheapest reliable timekeeper in the world. 
Every watch is ncoumtiariled l>> .1 special certificate 
of genuineness and guon.alee from the American 
Watch Co... Waltham, and -Oil he rent, hv Express, 
C. O. I).. allowing the puro|iaKT to examine hi hands 
of Express Agent be for o paying hia nionev, and if 
not exactly as represented, to ho ret n cod. 
ACC EXPRESS Cll ABC EH TO BE ?AID BY THE 
I'M RCHASEK. 
Address FULLER A CO.. 
Successors to M. K. CUAio.tAX A Co., 
No. 17 Ciherty St., New York. 
Wc make the following extract to - ho the public 
w hat, a competent judge of our WaleJie- writes : 
DkWitt, do., Dee. 3'. l: d 8 . 
1 am a watchmaker and prefers to know " a good 
thing'' when 1 sec it. 1 will cheerfully Mri my lesti- 
monv to the cheapness, dumhibty and nh-o to the 
genuineness of your (Wall hum) Watches. 
It. A. B. TllACGHBEK. 
PLOWHANDLE PAPERS 
Major Plowhandlc in Wi-wlriusttoii —Cntla 
Upon (Jen. Brant I’layn Checker* with 
Him What ( nine of it. 
Washington, I). C. t Dec. 14th, 18ti8. 
Mr. Moore: —I thought you’d like to hear 
from me, and how 1 am getting along these 
days: so 1 take my pen in hand to inform 
you I’m here along with the other great men. 
You see we’d got the full’s work all done, 
—potatoes dug, cidermade, and corn husked. 
They call husking down here n1nn'kiny, which 
shows how little people know who don’t 
trav<!. Sam said 1 could swash round this 
winter if 1 wanted to; so T thought I’d come 
down here just for greens, especially as I’d 
got my new dose, and it wasn’t going to cos? 
much to get ready. But l wanted to git 
something to pay expenses. 
1 was in Smith's store over at the Comers 
the other day, and 1 said, kinder carle sly. 
says I, “Smith, I Is ain’t much to do this 
winter, and our folks think I’d better go down 
to Washington and see how the cat jumps." 
“ First rate,” says he; “ afore you go come 
in and see me.” 
A few days after 1 was in there, and ha 
called me into his hack room, and, says he, 
“I’ve been thinking, this matter over, and 
Jones and I, and a few fellows out in town, 
think we’d better get you to look after a little 
business for us; and avu are Avilling to pay 
lbr your services.” 
“ Well,” says I, “ I'tn in the market.” 
“ You see,” says he, “ \\ hen Brown want ed 
to get renominated for Congress this fall, he 
promised Jones and me he'd go in for us for 
any oilier we wanted, and he’d get Postmas¬ 
ter for Jones and Assessor for me. But 1 
found out, the other day, that the slippery 
skunk had promised nearly every man in 
town the same offices. Mow somebody has 
got to be cheated, and avc don’t mean it shall 
be us. You being an original Chant man, 
avc think you’re just the fellow to go down 
and watch Brown You can have a strong 
hold on Gen. Grant, mid jI’.Buoavn docs try 
to gig hack on us, you can put on the breaks," 
“ But,” says 1 , “ there arc so many original 
Grant men that he won’t be able to know 
the true one.” 
“ Well, we’ll get up a stack of affidavits 
that you nominated him before he was born, 
and they can't go behind that. Besides, you 
Avrite for the papers, and they Avill he sweeter 
on you than on a common man.” 
Jenks got word 1 was going, and Avanfs 
me to Avrile for the. Sjmnkcrvillc Union, and 
he’ll pay or go in for me for Supervisor next 
spring. But. then I may get a bigger thing 
here, and I don’t think I can write for you 
and him, though he offered to pay me a dol¬ 
lar a letter. 
Jim Brow'n lias a nice little job for a rail¬ 
road somcAvlicre in Alaska, and wants to get, 
aid from Government, and he got me a free 
ticket. So I’m down here now, pretty Avelf 
fixed to stay or go any time. As I don’t 
care a continental red for any of them, I look 
grand and say nothing. 
I suppose you’d rather hear about Gen. 
Grant than Congress. Both are great men 
now, though T think he is the biggest. 
The other nighi it was storming like blazes, 
and I thought Gen. Grant would lie kinder 
lonesome, so 1 Avent over to see him. When 
1 knocked I In aril a real cheerful, old-fash¬ 
ioned “ come in.” The front room door was 
partly open, and let the light Into the entry, 
and I followed it and Avent right in. 
The General sat, by the table smoking a 
cigar, with one leg resting on a chair, and 
sorter cyphering on a slate. There was a 
nice-, blazing wood lire in the fire-place, and 
Mrs. Grant sat near the cradle where the 
baby avhs sleeping, one foot near the rocker, 
and she was darning the General’s stocking. 
The curtains were, down at the windows itud 
the cheerful blaze from the wood fire and 
the lamps made it look so cosy and home¬ 
like that T felt just as easy as an old shoe. 
There was a picture of Bonner’s horse, Dex¬ 
ter, over the mantelpiece, and one of Far- 
kaoi't, tied to the mast-head, hung upon the 
other side of the room. Altogether, ’twas 
real homelike, and I felt as much at home as 
I ever did over at. Deacon Pettibone’s, when 
1 used to call in to play checkers and eat 
Aunt Becky’s nut-cakes, and drink eider. 
The deacon loves good old cider, and don’t 
mind if it’s a little still-like. 
Pulling off my lmt, and making my best 
Ijoav, I says, “ General, T thought this stormy 
night would keep folk to home, and you’d be 
kinder lonesome, and I’d come over and see 
you a little, and sec how you Avas getting 
along in these days.” 
He took his leg off the chair and pushed it 
along towards me, and says: 
“ Sit (Ioaat), sir.” 
Everything looked so good-natured-like, 
that I ihought’twouldbeagoodtioie to talk 
politics a little; so,says I, “ General,our folks 
down at the Corners M ere right glad you got 
elected so loudly.” 
Says he, “What may I call your name?" 
“ They call me John Peow handle when 
C. o. D.wa e tc',*-.C. o. d. 
Wc will send by Express, to he paid for on delivery, 
tile Nntlon.il Watch Company';-. WA'l'l 11 fc-. m tli.- 
following prices, vtx.: 
“J. T. Kyc’i'son," full plate, IS size, sIpcI bal¬ 
ance, 7 Jewels, 2 ox. Silver case.. : .!o 50 
“ Mat. Lallm," l ull plate. IS size, expansion bal¬ 
ance, 2 ox, Silver care. 2£ 50 
Either of the above in ox. onso, y.2 additional. 
Either of the above in 4 (>•/.. c .so. jt.50 inldi;,- e .]. 
With the privilege i t oxundning it; tie hands ui 
the Express Agent before jw j he- for the W: M-.. 
EL I.HER tc CO.. 
Successors to M. E. ( iixI’.m \ v Cn., 
No. it Liberty Si., New \ orli. 
POLITICAL TENDENCIES. —“RATS DESERT A SINKING' SKIP 
AVe now ofler to the Trade a new line of goods, 
bearing the above Trade-mark. These are made of 
the best materials, tempered and finished with all 
possible care, and are in every respect superior to 
imported Cutlery. 
AH of our 
SNUFF-TAKING. 
I’m to home; but out round, when 1 go to 
conventions and sich like, they put me in the 
papers as Major Plowiiandle.” 
“ Good name, Major.” 
Then he introduced me to his wife, and 
she’s a real nice woman. You may go your 
“bottom chip,” as they say doivu South, that 
she’s n right nice housekeeper, for the baby 
looked lust a sweet and clean as though it 
What a moment, what a doubt! 
All my nose is inside out— 
All my thrilling, tickling caustic, 
Pyramid rhinocerosUc. 
Wants to snoc/,o, and cannot do it! 
How It yearns me, thrills me, stings me! 
How that rapturous torment tills me! 
Now says. “ Sneeze, yon goose, get through it. 
Shee—shoe—oh, "tis most del-tshi 
Ishi—Islii—must dellslii! 
(llang It, 1 shall snooze till spring!)* 
Snuff’s a most delicious thing. 
ILLUSTRATED REBUS.-No. 2, 
so stamped are warranted perfect in temper and 
durability of edge. 
CAUTION.—Since the suocc* : of our new Patent 
all Steel Silver-plated Knife was established, a num¬ 
ber of imitation' have appeared In the market, all 
of which are Infringements upon our Patent-rights 
and cannot be relied upon, lie sure that your goody 
hear the Trade-mark of 
GLIMPSES OF GENIUS, 
“ Do you play checkers, Major?” 
“Weil, 1 used to [day some doAvn at the 
Corners, rainy clays.” 
“ Take a gome?” 
“ Don’t rare if I do, though you’ve been 
used to playing such big games, may be I 
shan’t make it interesting.” 
“ Can’t most always tell what a man may 
do till you try him.” 
“ TI nit s just what the Avovkl says about 
you, General.” 
You ought 1o have seen the sweet, modest , 
happy lit tle smile that lit up his Avife’s face as 
she sort of turned if towards him. ’Twas so 
full of a kind of hide-and-seek pride and joy 
and confidence that 1 couldn’t help liking 
the little woman for it. 1 think the General 
ssiAv it, for he looked kinder fondly at her, 
and knocked the ashes off his cigar into the 
funny Tittle thing that stood by his side on 
the table. Then ha took the backgammon- 
board ami turned the men, and dice, and 
boxes out on the table, and turned the check¬ 
ered side uj) in his lap, and I drew my chair 
up to him and we made a table of our legs. 
I thought I’d got him now, so says I, “ The 
people got your cabinet and the principal 
officers all named; so you won’t have any 
trouble when you get out into that other 
house.” 
“Take a cigar, Major?” says he, at the 
same time pushing a box over to me, and 
lighting a fresh one from his old stump, and 
handing me a light. 
“ What do you expect Congress will do 
with that tenure of office bill they hoppled 
Mr. Johnson Avitli ?” said I, lighting my cigar. 
“ Which men do you prefer, Major?” 
T told him I’d take the red, and avc com¬ 
menced setting them. 
•‘fi’pose you Avon’t keep many of the old 
cabinet in, will you V” 
“ Shall avc chance for the move?” 
Well, avc chanced for the first, move, and 
the General Avon. 
I Avas almost certain he Avould start the 
side game, for thinking seems so much his 
hobby; and sure enough he did. 1 took my 
old center game. I didn’t talk much the first 
game, for f wanted to see a little how he 
played; for, though I’d played along with 
Chub Roper and John Tver, two of our 
bang-up players at i he Cornel's, and thought 
1 was some- pumpkins, and I’d beat them 
occasion’ly, yet 1 soon saw lie wasn’t green 
by a long shot. Well, this Avas a draw game; 
iur 1 didn’t Avant to be beat, and lie seemed 
to think the same Avay. 
But it’s getting late, and 1 am tired and 
sleepy. People have a heap’s cite of loal’er- 
iug to do here to keep in good company. So 
I hid you good night, and may give you the 
result of the games when I feel a little 
fresher, if you Avant to hear from me any 
more. t Yours to command, 
John Plow handle, 
N. B.—If you print this send a copy, if 
you please, to the Spankerville Union. 
.T. p. 
HwTOQse.vPlfc .tt csr t/ £,fjj$| 
0xxwi22 W— Zra. 
Sots of 27,40 and To pieces, In Rosewood and fiilver 
Cases, for 
for sale by all dealers. 
Office, 8l> Beckman St 
Answer in two week 
milOSE POSSESSED OF COMMON WIT 
JL Buy bottles that white wrappers lit: 
But fools are often caught and told, 
With tinted wrapper-, urown a-id old. 
Wolcott's AnN’ tHiL atoic. full pints, price ?1, is 
sold by all respectable druggists- Wolcott's Pain 
Paint is the most ctUclenLremedy t ; pain. 3uy 
it. Try It. 
MISCELLANEOUS ENIGMA.—No. 2, 
I am composed of twenty-two letters. 
My 14, 11. 23,10,17 is used to separate bran front 
meal. 
My 13,15,3 isAvhat people are often glad to do. 
My lb. 13,13,5, 7 is a very uncommon name. 
My 12.1,10, 13 is a girl's nickname. 
My 8,15, 10 is a domestic animal. 
My 13,30, 19, 17 is under ground. 
My 6 , 7, 30, 0 is u part of the face. 
My 8,5 is one of the most common words of the 
English language. 
My 0 , 33 , 1 is an article A cry much used. 
My 15,3,4,1 is a grand division. 
My 33, 8,9,13 is a digit. 
My whole is an old saying. Ella J. 
Answer in two weeks. 
A NKfiLKCTEia CXflDGW, (OLO 
SOKE THROAT, which might be checked, by 
a simple remedy, like " Brown's Ormohiol Trorhes, 
if allowed to progress may terminate seriously. 
For Bronchitis, Asthma, Catarrh and Cobs .11 niptive 
Coughs. “ '/'tii Troche” are used wltli advantage, 
giving oftentimes immediate relict- stng.?r>, and 
public speaker? will rind them ni/o excellent to clear 
the voice and render articulation wonderfully easy. 
the lives they speak of. Hero is one from the 
tombstone or a Puritan couple: 
Obadlnh and Surah Wilkinson. 
Their warfare Is accomplished. 
If you are a very‘precise man, and Avish to be 
certain of what you got, never marry a girl 
named Ann, for we have the authority of Hie 
best grammarians that“ Ann is an indefinite 
article.” 
Umov name back from Aiiiortleborrying, and 
aa t us asked if she- found Hit* berries plenty. 
‘Sure, ye.-i," :-.Ud she. “but the dry weather lias 
made them so amah that it takes the w hole of a 
peek to make u qWui’l. 
A THANSCK.vnKNTAL preacher took for his 
text. “Feed my lambs. A plain farmer very 
t'■laintly remarked to him, on coming out or the 
church: —“A very good text, sir; tun you 
should take care not to pm file hay so high in the 
rack that the lambs fcan’t reach it! ” 
'• AVn.VT do you drive such a pitiful looking 
carcass as that IT a* ? AV hy don’t you put a good. 
bea\ r y coat of flesh on "ini ? " asked a friend of 
an Irish eartman about his horse. 
“A heavy coat, of flesh, mavottrneen ! Be all 
the blessed powers, now. w hen Hie poor crature 
can scarce carry the little flesh there is on ’iin." 
An old lady on a steamboat , observed two men 
pumping up w ater to Avasli the deck, mid I lie 
captain being near tier, she accosted him as ToJ- 
lOAva“Well, captain, gol a well aboard, ehV" 
“ Yes, m»’am: ahvays carry one.” paid the polite 
captain. “Well, iliut's clever." said she; “J 
always disliked this misty rh er water.’’ 
“ Pa. Avill you get me a new pair of skates if 
I’ll prove to you that a dog has ten tail*?" “ Yes, 
rav son.” “ Well, to begin, one dog has one more 
tail than no dog, hasn't he?" “Yes." "Well, 
no dog tms nine tails; and if one dog hus one 
more tail than no dog, then one dog must have 
ten mils. ' The father gaA*e the boy his skates. 
A .Ir doe Aviiose personal appearance was as 
Unprepossessing us Ids legal knowledge was pro¬ 
found and his intellect keen, interrupted a fe¬ 
male witness—" Humbugged you. my good wo¬ 
man,—what. do yon mean by that?” said he, 
sternly. " Well, my lord,” replied the woman, 
“ L don’t know how to explain it exact ly; but if 
a girl called your lordship a handsome man, she 
■would be humbugging you.'' 
“ Mamala." exclaimed n beautiful girl, who 
had suffered affectation to otweuj o flic little in. 
tolled posse.--<*il. “ whui Is that long green 
thing lying on the dish before yon ?" 
“ A cucumber, my beloved Goorgitma," replied 
the intuumii. witii a blimd smile of approbation 
on her darling’s enni inclinable curiosity. 
“A eueumtierI Gracious goodness, my dear 
mamma, how i cry extraordinary! • ahvay* im¬ 
agined, uur.il this moment, that they grew in 
si i ties! ’’ 
A Professor of nat ural history, w ho is some¬ 
times unite absent-minded, while hearing a class 
in zoology, put theuiiostion : " Did you oversee 
a porpoise? ” “ No, sir." Professor, very forci¬ 
bly, as was his wijnt i “The iurt. Did you ever 
see a porpoise?" "No, sir." "The nc.rl. Did 
you ever see a porpoise?" “No, sir.” At this 
point, forgetting that Ins question was entirely 
extraneous, lie closed the book with a bang, and 
an indignant, “Take this lesson again," amidst 
the laughter of the class. 
T 7iVERY FARMER should use Palmer's 
J Emery Grinder t..r Muv.c,* u u:l Reaper 
Knives, I'Timlly < u.ier:-*. and all Edge Tools. It 
cuts four times ns last as my Hnuih iene, with 
one-fourth the puwci. It ts cheap, light uml dura¬ 
ble, ytiu bandy everywhere, I Ireutars, which 
tell “all about It,” tree. < *iu thls out and •■en<l for 
them. Asrcnis wanted in cv vy Tiorn. Terms 
and Business the very best. 
Address E. G. W'l Oft K E. A uburn. N, Y, 
ANAGRAM-No. 2, 
Lola cm larey ni hot groininn, 
HeAvn eht ewd si no teh nawl, 
Roe hte tins singbe sit nisirg, 
Lael pm la toll eepp l'o andw, 
Acll em rcaly Anylyhevc Hoartf, 
Atht I amy ym ydtu od, 
Dan thiw lal hatt yalrc sepnir Elite, 
I ymu ovel nad csivpa Hetc oto. 
D. J. Tompkins. 
ZW Answer in two Aveoks. 
-4-*-*-- 
CROSS-WORD ENIGMA No. 1. 
WA-,r 
AMCtMl 
My tiratis in smb, but not in cut; 
My second's in hovel, hut not in hut: 
My third is in door, but not in sill: 
My fourth is in mountain, but not in hill 
My fifth is in seek, but not in find; 
My sixth is in thought, but not in mind. 
My whole Is an island. w. 
Answer in tAVO weeks. 
T'Hi; NONPAREIL WASHING -11A- 
1 CHINE him been tu operation ?cn u yru /*.,, uud is 
the only Washer made which stands the test of time 
and use. 
It Is a Sqeezins Machine, geared tor speed: has 
large eapaclt) uud great strength, and Is entirely 
simple in all u, iwirts. A girl or buy can operate it. 
“Take it «li in Ul. it Is the best machine wo know 
of, and is worthy "1 a place in every fajully."— Amcr- 
icur. Agriculturist. 
“It is a flrsl-elasL- saachlue—one that has no rival, 
to our knowledge.”—Nfo riti.iTc American. 
Send fur free Dcaeribtlve Circular tu 
OAKLEY X KEATING. i*» ‘ Ttlm.dt fit.. N- Y. 
QUESTION, No. 1 
What common word of seven letters can be so 
transposed : n> form seventy-five different, 
words (not including proper names) till of them 
in common use? Augustus T. Cookxnham. 
Answer in tlircc wi-eks. 
t TPHAM’S DBPILATOBY POAVltJICKS 
Remove; superfluous hair from ruy part of the 
body In .Bur minnlr... without injury to the skin. 
Sent by mail tor 6*1.25. 
UPHAM’S ASTHMA Cf'KE 
Relievos the most violent paroxysms in n ,ninuten, 
and utrects a epordy euro. Price. 72 by mail. 
THE JAPANESE HAIR STAIN 
Colors the whiskers and hair a beautiful black or 
BROWN. It consists of outiion? jtnp>\r"iiim. 75 cents 
hv mull. Address S. C. 1'1’IIAM, 115 Sorrn 7 tfi St., 
I'iuladkW'HIa, Pa. Circulars sent free. Sold by 
all Druggtsts. 
CHARADE-No. 2 
In my first is fouud water; 
In my second is found ray first. 
My whole is a city in Massachusetts. 
i'fC' Answer in two weeks. w 
HUNDREDS OF AGENTS make from SS to 1*10 
per duv, in wiling our Patkn i ExtuXSIo.n IU:isj, 
and S1V1PTS, Ci.'tuUut'fl, Used in every family for 
winding Yarn. Silk. Worsted, 4e. Winds full sized 
skein, and weighs less than on pound. AGENTS 
WANTED, ' ' ii term*. &e., udd:e;s 
H. L. <TOKKE ■ CO.. Auhnrn, N. V. 
AV B N k> , 
X>'<rjS r i7, 
SirC‘O'v'57' 
03PL 
netrate where Torkkv's patknt Wkatuek 
sure used. Sendfor lllunn'ted Circular shnw- 
r new improvement,. E. S. & I. TOBItEY & 
Maiden Lane, New York. 
COPPER STRIP FEED CUTTER IS 
milF. RECENTJ.Y lAIPUOYF.l) .V A CHINE, 
il with Counter or Index attached, is a ciunplcto 
Knitter. Address, inclosing stamp, for Cireuftir and 
Stocking. .1. D. ORNE Sc CO., 
17D State St., Rochester, N. Y. 
{L faster, cheaper and mure easy to work and keep 
in order than any other. Not to hr iiaiil for till tried. 
Send for Illustrated Circular. PEKK 8 KILL PLOW 
WORKS. Peek si; III. N. V., or Cleveland, Ohio. 
\ 
