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PAGE-SPREADING PARAGRAPHS, 
Many years ago, while the country was new, 
the Bottlers were troubled with that pestiferous 
disease -the Itch. It had Indeed become so cout- 
mon that people who did not have It wore hardly 
considered respectable 1 At this time Mr. Em¬ 
erson Kkyrs, late Deputy Superintendent, of 
Public Education, was a small boy or ton years, 
residing in the Western part of Mew York, and, 
being a person of respectability, was of course 
troubled with the disease. After he had been 
plagued with it some time, one of his school¬ 
mates chanced to meet him, and said:— 44 Kmku- 
|Pg; 
AGENTS 
and weighs less tliun twin pound. 
I'ICI). For term*, Ac., address 
. I,. STtllt Kt! iV CO., A u ii ii r 
CHAS. J. MARTIN, President, 
J. H. WaSHBURN, Secretary, 
they are, anyway.*' 
“ Well, says J Aeon, “ so long as they’ve sent 
ussome, you had better go right down and find 
out about it." 
Accordingly, off goes James to Albany. 
“Well," asks Jacob, when he returned, "and 
what, under heaven, does ditto mean V" 
“It means," says James, “that I am a blamed 
GETTING UP CLUBS. 
GREAT SAVING TO CONSUMERS 
83?" Answer in t wo weeks. 
WILBOR’S COMPOUND OF 
MISCELLANEOUS ENIGMA. -No. 1 
Parties Inonire low to get up clubs. Our answer 
is, send tor Price 1,1st, unit a Club form will uecom- 
mm, tttw«w 
dot it intb ©uni or. 
qp (§5 
THE BONNETS OF MY GIRLHOOD. 
Oul the bonnets of my girlhood— 
The kind I wore at school! 
I really thought them pretty— 
I must have been a fool. 
And yet 1 used to think myself 
On lmts a jaunty miss. 
Perhaps 1 war-, as fashion went— 
But what was that to lids ? 
Oh ! the lovely little pancake, 
The charming little mat! 
It makes my head so level, 
And so very, very Hat! 
Oh ! a sister's love Is charming, 
As everybody knows, 
And a handsome cousin's love i3 nice, 
(That Is, I should suppose,) 
A lid the love oT a true lover 
1 * love that cannot pall 
Bnl, the love <|t a new bonnet 
Is the dearest love ot all. 
fool, and you arc ditto. 
This reminds us of a certain Ei.ittu Todd, who 
wrote to his sisters. The sisters happening to 
live together, Ei.tnc directed the letters, one t,o 
“Miss Mary Todd," the other to “Miss Ann 
Ditto." S. L. 
THE AMIABLE SEX. 
Gossip n la Mode. 
‘ I HEARD it!” 
Who told you ?” 
“ Her friend,” (?) 
“ You don't say?" 
“ 'Tis dreadful I” 
“ Yes, awful!” 
“ Don't tell it, 1 pray !” 
“ T.ord help us!” 
“ Poor creature!” 
"So artful!” 
"So sly!” 
“ No beauty !" 
“Quite thirty!" 
| " Between you and I!’ 
" Good gracious !" “ I’m going!” 
" Who'd think it?" " Do stay, love !" 
“ Well! well! well!" " 1 can’t!" 
" Dear mo I" “ I’m forlorn !" 
" I’ve had my “ Farewell, dear 1” 
Suspicions (" y “ Good-by, sweet!" 
" And 1, too, you see !" “ I’m glad she is gone /" 
A jury has fixed the prico of “ kissing Indies 
for fun " at. $1.50. They decide that it is ai>t to 
raise hopes of marriage, and make a breach of 
promise suit good. 
A otter girl going to Newport., and seeing the 
willow phtetons for the first time, exclaimed : 
“ Why, mamma, everybody rides out in their 
clothes-baskets here.” 
The latest marriage announcement reads 
thus:— 44 No cards, no cake, no presents,no wed¬ 
ding trip, no honeymoon, no divorce." 
Young women often keep their lovers by 
tears. 44 Yes,” says Grunwig, “ love, like beef, is 
preserved by brine." 
A young Indy, about to be married, says she 
will not promise to 44 love, honor, and obey,” but 
will say. instead, 44 love, honor, and be gay.” 
Thu principal occupation of the “girl of the 
period " is said to be to sit at the window and 
watch for the “comingman.” 
Wnv should young ladies never wear stays? 
Because it is so horrid to see a girl “ tight.” 
-- 
A Row in the Capitol. 
44 Dad," said an incipient legislator to his in¬ 
dulgent parent, who had gratified him with a 
visit to the galleries of the Capitol, “say, do you 
see any row going on ? I don’t.” 
“No," said the astonished father, "of course 
not. Why did you ask?” 
“Cause, the man in the big desk says ‘the eyes 
have it 1’ and just now he said 4 the nose lmd it; 4 
so I l bought there was sonic fuss down there, 
som’ers. _ 
Didn't want to Die. 
Atraveeing insurance agent had been ex¬ 
plaining to ft Western pioneer, the advantages 
of an insurance policy. Pathfinder musedamo- 
ment in grave silence, and then said“ See here, 
mister, 1 have lived out In this country now 
twenty-five years, and have bucked agin most 
all the games they’ve started, but darn me ef I 
want to play a game where you have to die to 
beat thebauk." 
44 1 ain’t, either," angrily replied Emerson; 
“ I liaiu’t hud it but four years 1 " 
Outt friend Frank Bowen was standing by a 
small crook, from which the bridge had been 
torn by a freshet, when a nervous individual 
drove up with horse and buggy, and raiuested 
Frank, to load the horse across. 
Taking hold of the horse’s bit, and starting as 
if to lead biin through, Frank asked:— 44 Can 
one lead him, sir?" 
“ Oh, yes! perfectly easy," replied the other. 
“Then lead him yourself,” said Frank, h av¬ 
ing the astonished person to his own meditation. 
The two above I know to be true.—F rank 
Hackdk, Chaulautjuti Co., N. F., Jan., 1871. 
Not many years ago, two brothers of the 
name of Turner, kept a store in Troy, buying 
their lit tin slock of miscellaneous goods in Al¬ 
bany, One day, one of the brothers went down 
and bought a bill a little larger than usual. 
"What, under the son, does this mean?" said 
Jacob, the elder, reading the invoice on his 
brother’s reinrn. "Here are bleached sheet¬ 
ings, brown ditto, and linen ditto; then sets of 
china, blue ditto, and stone ditto. What’s that 
ditto you'vo been buying?” 
“I don’t know," replied James. 44 T didn’t 
order no such articles, and 1 don’t know what 
“WISH! IN 1 IIS GKNKRATTON. * 
Jpt 
ILLUSTRATED REBUS.-No. 5. 
miscellaneous 'Abticvtiscmcnts. 
= HOME 
INSURANCE COMPANY 
or NEW YORK. 
i Office, No. 13.1 Broadway. 
' Gash Capital, - $2,500,000 00 
Assets, - • ■ 4,578,008 02 
> Liabilities, - ■ 199,668 71 
I am composed or 51 letters : 
My 33,28, 51,1(5, 47 is a part of a farm. 
My 13. 33,17,10 is a fanning lool. 
My 30,38, 30, 39, 43, 31 is to wish. 
My 7,18,» is to procure. 
My 30, 9, 23, 53, 63, II is to try. 
My 1,4,10, 23, 37, 41,14 all are alike. 
My 35, I t, 15 is an oatli. 
My 35, 37, 40, 64, 51 is 10 pronounce. 
My 41, 45, 48, 50 is an article of dress. 
My 38, 36, 31,33,31, 49 is a girl’s name 
My 10, 11, 0, 3, 24,20 Is a girl’s name. 
My 2, 13,19, 5 Is a girl’s name. 
My 43,34, 20, 5 is a girl’s name. 
My whole is a wise old saying. 
83©“ Answer in two weeks. E. W. B. 
- *+4 -- 
BIBLICAL SQUARE WORD-No. 1.’ 
My first is a Bible flower. 
My second was a Jewish prophet. 
My third was a district remarkable forits wealth. 
My fourth was a tower culled the 44 tower of the 
flock.” 
S3©” Auswer in two weeks. I. 
--»♦«- 
PROBLEM.-No. 4. 
Thkiiic is a tub that holds 13 ale gallons; the 
depth is I:: inches; the diameters of the top and 
bottom areas 5 is to3. What are those diam¬ 
eters. J- C. TV. 
3a©“ Answer in two weeks. 
- *+* - 
HIDDEN CITIES.—No. 2. 
1. Had Baron De Kami any commission ? 
2. Fate her antics here has played. 
3. Slumber links one day with anot her. 
4. Honesty is the best policy. J. D. H. 
Answer in two weeks. 
-- *■■*■+ - 
PUZZLER ANSWERS, 
Illustrated IIkbuS No. 3.—It takes two to make 
a bargain. 
Square-word Enigma No. 1.— 
BEER 
EDGE 
EGGS 
REST 
Geographical Puzzee No. l.— George arose one 
niorning amt found that during the uiglit snow had 
fallen: after eating a breakfast of bread and milk, lie 
started fur the woods, taking his gun and dog, in 
search of deer, when he met an Indian with a turkey 
on his buck, that he said lie hud just killed. After 
huntinga long time, without killing anything but a 
buzzard, and getting tired, he started for home, filled 
with disappointment: when he reached home ho ate 
for his supper a salmon halted, and some soup made 
of a lurtle, seasoned with onions; he then retired 
and slept soundly until awakened by a bug running 
across his face. He was not disturbed again till 
morning. 
Geographical Enigma No. 1. —The Valley of 
Mexico. 
Hidden Cities No. 1.—1, London; 2, Lowell; 3, 
Lyons; 4, Madrid ; 5, Mexico ; 6, Lisbon. 
Charade No. 1.—Hay-stack. 
Now in use. 
No other Musical Instrument ever obtained the 
^ same popularity. 
CL'" Send for Price Lists. 
Address 
BUFFALO, N. Y., 
Or CHICAGO, II.L. 
$5, 
EM VUIKMT. 
tV 0 IL AND LIME.J 
lITIIiBCR’S C«D LIVER OIL AND 
\Y LIME. The great popularity "f this safe and 
efficacious preparation is alone Htnihutiihle to its in¬ 
trinsic worth. In this cure Of Coughs, Golds, Asth¬ 
mas. BrouehUas, Whooping Cough. Ncroftiloim Hn- 
lnnrii, und all Cnnmimplive Symptom*. It bus no su¬ 
perior, ii oiiual. Let no one neglect, the early symp¬ 
toms of disease, " lien mi agent ir thus at hand which 
will nllovl|iti* all comnlaim:- of the Chest. Lungs or 
Throat. Manufactured only by a. B. Wii.noit, chem¬ 
ist, Nm tiki Court St., Boston, Sold by all druggists. 
UI.KDS GROWN BY 
n O. BAltLKI? Ac CO., 
Upper Alton, III. 
Sent, postage paid, to any address. 
Alton Nutmeg Mimin', large, netted, greon- 
flesbed,hours shipvlm well; Inst market melon ijiowu, 
30c mt., *3.50 lb. LONG Persian Melon, next beat, 
25c ir/,. gks, Grant Tomato, earliest, 50a. oz. 
Large Red, 25c. oz. Evergreen Sweet and 
ADAM’S Early Corn, 40c. qtturL _ 
<■ >• * FA It D. ” 
_/ V Parties who have sent for my SEED (’at v- 
looi ks "id receive them ill a l'ew days—the delay 
being the fault of I lie printer. 
E. A, UEKVK 8 , ss Cortlandl SI., Now York. 
10 ,Q 00 FAMER$ 
•W r J a.3Nr , TE!X> ! 
To part base and improve 1,900,000 A eves 
of Choice IOWA LANDS, FOR SALE AT 
S3 per ACRE and upwards, for Cash or on Credit, 
by the IOWA RAILROAD LAND COMPANY. 
Railroads nlready built through the Lands, and on 
all sides of them. Great inducements to settlers. 
Send for our Pamphlet. It gives prices, terms, loca¬ 
tion—tells who should come West: what they should 
bring ; what it will cost . gives plans and cost of dif¬ 
ferent styles of ready-made houses. Maps sent if 
desired. Address W. IV. WALKER, 
Vice President, Cedar Rapids, Iowa. 
YSTINDMlI l.s.- FOR THE BEST SKLF- 
>> regulating Windmill in the world to Pump 
water tor Residences, Farms, City Buildings, Drain¬ 
age and Irrigation, address CONTINENTAL CO., 
5 College Place. New Viifk.__ 
V PAYING Bl'SUTESS. 
THE AUBURN PUBLISHING COMPANY offer 
the Very Best Terms mi Agents in every county 
in the United Slates and Canada, to sell their Popu¬ 
lar Books. Try them, and address 
ft G. 8TORKK, Auburn, N. Y. 
S ci mine ring cured by Bates' Appliances For de¬ 
scription .address SIMPSON & CO., Box 5016, N.Y 
n O L ( n H IIS NUBSERY, 
- COIilTMBtTS, OHIO. 
"One Of the most widely und favorably known 
Nurseries in the country," — Country Gentleman. 
" Thorough, deepnnd clean culture is therulehere, 
and the con sequence is, stock of first quality."— In- 
diunuyolis Journal. 
BATESVItLE, Ark., Nov,, 1870, 
Tree* &e., this day received; 1 find them in excel¬ 
lent condition, and of such iiuulity ns gives roe the 
roost perfect satis motion, They are, Indeed, a splen¬ 
did lot of trees. 
LOPISvn.LK, Ky.. Nov., 1870. 
Trees to hand, and open satisfactorily. If every¬ 
body packed ns carefully as you do, there would be 
few'losses front bad packing, r have not lost u tree 
or plant ordered from you. in all I have had, and I 
believe this Is my fourth order. 
Fortlie spring of 1871. we offer our usual large and 
well assented stock. Catalogues sent on application. 
R. G. HANFORD, Columbus, Ohio. 
STEAM ENGINES 
Equaled by none In Combined Merits 
of Capacity, Economy. Dura¬ 
bility, Simplicity and 
I’orfectlou. 
OUR PORTABLE F3MGI2ME, 
Mounted on J.ncomoUve Holler, having fire-box and 
ash-pit entirely surrounded by water space; is set 
upon legs and timbers; occupies little room; needs 
no brick work; I* snitatde fi.l use in any place wliero 
a power is required — tn Mills, .Simp*. I'miuitrics or 
Printing Ih kdiis, or in Stock for grinding, cut¬ 
ting and steaming lood lor stock. The 
STATIONARY UIM^INE 
is complete willi Governor, Pump and Heater, with 
connections fitted. The 
AGRICULTURAL EBJCMWTI!, 
Supplied with Locomotive Jlotlcr. having Pro-box and 
ash-pit entirely surrounded by water space; is 
mounted on wheels, with pole for attaching horses 
Tor moving from place tn place ; is suitable for Grain 
Threshing, Com Shelling, I Food (not Shingle Sawing, 
Jtc. 
Circulars, with description and prices, furnished 
on application to 
HOOD, TAltEK & ItEOlSSF, 
Laloii, Alndison Co., Aihy lork. 
“ Your advice as a Man of the World, Gus, Which of the iwo Miss Wilsons shall I take in to supper? There they are by the 
mantelpiece.” 
“Well, if you take the handsome one, you’ll have to flatter her; if you take the other, she’ll flatter you. To a man who doesn t 
want to marry! like yourself, I should recommend the first, as by far the less dangerous of the two.” 
6E0. A. PRINCE & CO. 
Organs & Melodeoiis. 
The Oldest, Largest and Most Perfect Manufactory 
In the United States. 
HUNDREDS OF AGENTS make from #5 to $10 
per tiny, in selling our Patent EXTENSION RKI i. 
and SWIFTS. Combined. Used III every family for 
winding Yaru, Silk, Worsted. Ate. AVmds full sized 
to consumers and remunerative to Club organizers. 
til <Er WJSSicr STREET, 
P, O. Rox 51i 13. NEW YORK. 
T UNION I»A€BI'’IC U.t I LUO A D 4 OJTI- 
LJ puny, tinVt- a Laml Grant direct fnon the Gov¬ 
ernment ol I Q. OOG. OOO Acres of the I<r.-.t Farming 
mill Mineial Lamls in Anirricn. 3,090,Odd acres choice 
fanning lands on the Hue id the rnurt, in tlip tfJ'ATK 
Oil* Nebraska, in tliCGrraf PlalG ValUth ""' v , " 1 ' 
sale, for rash Or credit nt low rules of interest. These 
lands are near the list parallel of North latitude, ill 
a mild mid Imiltthy climate, and for grain growing 
ami stock raising ttvuunequaled. Prices range from 
S-2.50 to *19 per aere. GIHC.VI INimrtCJtENTS to Sel- 
tlers with Innltoil means. “2,500.000 Acres rieli 
Gov cm nit* ii l lands along the road, between tin v it A 
and North Platte, surveyed and open for entry 
under tin- Ilomenicad and Pre-emption laws, and 
can be taken by Art uni SHUcrs onlii. An opportunity 
never before* presented for securing homes near a 
great Rill Iron a, with all l he conveniences of an old 
settled country. New edition of descriptive pam¬ 
phlets, with inti pa, now ready, and sent free to all 
parts of the United Slates, Canada and Europe. Ad- 
UrCJSM 
O. F. DAVIS, I.niii) CoinmisKidtier. 
t . P. It. R. Co., Omaha, Neb. 
M ILLAR’S PATENT CHEESE VATS and 
HEATERS.— Positively the best in Use; also 
many oilier great improvements ro Cheese Factory 
and Dairy Utensils. Send tnrlllusdratud Cireulurund 
Price List, ctl A liLKS MILLAR A SON, l tie.',. N.Y. 
A Wo i* It So in ry !-Young man wanted as 
local ami traveling salesmen. Address (with 
stamp) R. H. WALKER, 34 Park Row, New Yo u. 
SMALL FRUITS, 
FLOWERS, Etc. 
Our stoolc of TINES, PLANTS, FLOWERS. 
SHRUBS, Etc., is very large and fine, which we are 
offering at remarkably low price*. 
Send It) cents for CATALOGUE and PRICE LIST 
Of SMALL FRUITS, and 6 cents for Catalogue (No. 2) 
of Flowers. 
It. GUMMING & CO., Successors to J. Kno-x, 
Plltsbnrg, Pa. 
MARTHA (WHITE C 0 NC 0 RDi” 
GRAPE VINES 
Our stock of Vines of this most, valuable vnriety 
being miieli the largest and best In tlio country, lair¬ 
ing been grown under tint direct supervision of llov. 
.1. Knox, who. it is well known, secured the entire 
original stock, we are prepared to furnish Nurarry- 
ineii and Itenlcrs at rates below those of other 
establishments. 
AGENTS WANTED. 
It. GUMMING & CO., Successor* to.j. Knox, 
Pittsburg, Pa. 
TlIKA-XKCl'AR 
IS PURE 
BLACK TEA, 
WITH 
LKIiLiN TEA FLAVOH, 
Warranted to Suit all Tastes. 
FOR SALE EVERYWHERE. 
And for sule Wholesale only by tlio 
Great Atlantic & Pacific Tea Co., 
I*. O. Box 550t5. No. S Church Wi., N. Y. 
Semi tor Tlicn-Xctlnr Circular, 
ANTED AGENTS. niPJO per ilayA to sell 
llie celebrated HOME SlIliTTLE SEWING 
jM ACIIINK. tins the until r-fcnl. mokes the 
•lock-stitch'’ (alike on both sides,J and is 
fullu liteiisat. The bo*t and cheapest family 
Sewing iluelniie in ||ie market, Address 
JOHNSON. CLARK A CO., Boston, Mass., 
Pittsburg, Pa., Chicago, 111., or St. Louis, Mo. 
> UU I U) ■ HE r jL HOUSEHOLD M AG AZINE 
u * 9 l tj t Wyfl t'Oi,t,iii>. in every nu„il>nr onti eCdOJilele prifu 
at I r. —. .0. .dtgk-JI .i„, v vutueil uL 4 100 . Fully grtie-a of r.llitr 
iiintOT. VeKilvfl- Sulil tty .News drulco nt 10c. J..r 'Ugy. Syku 
,tid Prtinituim luiHi oxati to be ttwnntol f»r rrl*i.' dutta. Siiecimou 
Copy her. AddlCK.S. S. WOOD, .Ncwl.iir^g, N. Y. 
rro 1»YSFKPTTFS. AVo «1o not agfreo 
1 to core you, but from u careful analysis of Doo- 
l.t.y’S Y fa ST I'owmiii, we can salelv recommend it 
.is producing nutritious, light, healthy bread, bis¬ 
cuits, rolls, Ac., which can be eaten with impunity 
and relished by the most sensitive invalid. These 
facts we tun substantiate, from practical observa¬ 
tions, and with the knowledge that no Injurious sub¬ 
stances whatever enter Into ibe composition of 
Doolky’b V i ast POVftKjk. Grocers everywhere 
keep it. DOOLEY & BROTHER, Manufacturers, 09 
New St., New York. 
\ CENTS WANTED ( S‘2‘23 n Mouth.l, l>V 
lbo A tlERK AN KNITTING MACHINE 
CD. BOSTON, AlASs., or ST. LOUIS, MU. 
BUB 
a 
mm 
B" 
•fit 
1 
^ K S OF THE 
United States Watch Company, 
(GrlLES, V r \LES & CO.,) MARION, N. J., 
MANUFACTURERS of Mbiga “ of WATCHES, PENDANT WINDERS AND KEY WINDERS, 
BOTH NICKEL AND FROSTED MOVEMENTS. WITH DAMASKEEN FINISH. 
Constantly on hand, full line*, all sizes, in Gold, Silver, 7^ wiKoronL tfines Se foi'timing 
Repeaters, independent 1-4, 1-5 Spilt and Fly-buck Seconds, for taking three different tunes, fot tim „ 
UO rer PGce-ListTfurn'isiicd Hie trade ot. application, inclosing business card. For sale by the trade 
generally. Ask yourJnweler to aeo the MARION watcheo. wnwwr vabw 
Wholesale Warerooms, 13 MAIDEN LANE NEW YORK, 
Amt GILES, BROTHER & CO., 14‘J Luke St., Chicago, HI. 
237”Watch No. 1089, Stem Winder, bearing Trade-Mark “Frederic Atherton & Co., Marion, 
N J ” manufactured bv United States 'Watcli Co., has been carried by tne from December, 
1868, to January 17 th, 1870, its total variation being only TWO SECONDS in the entire tune. 
New York, Jan. 17, 1870. L. E. CHITTENDEN, Late Reg-. U. S. Treas. 
