JAW. as 
00RE’S RURAL HEW-YORKEB 
Xadies' jJortfoli 
AN INTRUDER. 
Baby has been hero, it s#ems- 
Baby Annie, on the wing— 
In my little library, 
Plundering and rovoltng. 
Annie dear, the darling w Itch- 
See how innocent «he looks— 
But she has a world of wiles 
When she gets among my books. 
Half the time I own she seems 
Less u being than a star : 
Then attain I cry '• My books; 
Aunle, what a rogue you are !” 
“ No. no—” papa cries in vain ; 
Down the dainty volumes come; 
“ Papa, here you an; no king, 
X am queen In babydom.” 
Stately Johnson lies In grief 
Under laughing Habeluis 
Emerson Is flat for once; 
Heine’s thumbing Tlmokcray. 
Whittier, O poet rare 1 
Thou hast many pages less ; 
But If all wero gono hut one. 
That would hold und charm or bless. 
Baby with the double crown, 
And the laughter-haunted eyes, 
Papa's sanctum, volume strewn, 
Is to theo a Paradise. 
1 forgive thee when I feel • 
Breath and lips upon me pressed. 
Sweet as any nllen air, 
Blown from harbors of the blest. 
" Papa,” something whispers me, 
“ Better every laden shelf 
Emptied by her baby hands 
Than the house all to thyself.” 
[Hiram Rich, in Scribner’* for December. 
-»•»» - - 
A GIRL’S IDEA OF MAN. 
“ Man’s work Is done from sun to sun, 
But woman’s work is never done.” 
Standing elbow-deep In the dish water, not 
many days since, this time-worn saying flushed 
Into my mlrul, like an electric shock, causing 
mo to drop tlm dish cloth, while an emphatic 
“That’s so!” burst from my lips. My mother's 
ejaculations of amazement at so startling an 
exhibition restored me in appearance to my 
wonted equilibrium, though inwardly my Indig¬ 
nation heat a thrilling tattoo to the flying cups 
and saucers which, ever and anon, crashed into 
the cupboard! And girls, whether you believe 
it or not, the short space of Ilf teen minutes saw 
my dishes all out. r.f sight—skillets and frying 
pans not mentionabJc; whereupon I calmly and 
quietly Bcated myself to cool off; hut the more 
I tried, the more angry I prow, till finally, snap¬ 
ping my lingers to that hypocritical old doc¬ 
trine : 
“ Patience and Perseverance uccompliHhutli all 
things,” 
I seized the broom and duster, and proceeded 
to vent my spleen upon the numerous inoffen¬ 
sive articles nearest my energetic grasp. ( hairs 
flew in every direction, to say nothing of dust 
and cobwebs, and with every dash of the broom 
on went another layer of indignation. At this 
rate, then, I leave you to judge of my probable 
state ol' mind when, al. the expiration of half an 
hour, just ns 1 had seated myself to rest a little 
from my arduous labors, In walked an import¬ 
ant representative of the male box, making an 
extremely soothing observation something after 
this style: “That ho wished ho had nothing 
more to do than to sit in the house from morn¬ 
ing till night, as t he women all did.” 
Well! it would bo perfectly useless for mo to 
attempt to describe my sensations, ns every 
word iu Webster's Dictionary nil strung togeth¬ 
er wouldn’t bo enough. I was actually dumb. 
My tongue Clove to the roof of my mouth. All 
the pont-up Ideas of the morning crowded into 
my bruin at once and concentrated in my eyes. 
Sparks flew, if language didn’t, and if looks 
could annihilate, I am quite certain that the 
aforementioned individual would have been 
stretched at my foot. He, however, fearing per¬ 
haps such a termination, proceeded to take his 
departure with all necessary dispatch I T, mean- 
whi|e, striving to gat her up my dead-and-alive 
energies sufficiently to aim at his retreating 
coat skirts a parting shot with the broom. 
Men are selfish creatures, the best way you 
can make it, and tho more you humor them the 
worse they get. They have been so long accus- 1 
toinod to having the best of everything, that 
they have naturally come to expect it. There 
is a mouldy piece of sentiment, Ashed up from 
the brain of some old twichclor probably, which 
always did disgust me, and that is : 
“ Always meet your husband with a srnlle.” 
That goes a lit tic beyond my powers of endur¬ 
ance. Smiles indeed! Delightfully consistent 
with wash tubs and gridirons. No a woman 
must slave and toil In the kitchen, from morn¬ 
ing till night, shut in from all communion, with 
♦he world outside; must broil, and bake, and 
stew, with a dozen dirty little pinafores cling¬ 
ing to her skirts; must, sweep, and dust, and 
darn, and sew; in fact, must go through hor 
work, more dead than alive, with tho over-pres¬ 
ent idea staring her in tho face that the arrival 
of her husband is a signal for her to scare up a 
smile, to greet I ho poor, dear creature, who Is so 
tired and harassed with business! If there hap¬ 
pens to ho a tender spot in the steak for dinner. 
Why- It must be saved for father! The richest ! 
bit of cream is reserved for father’s coffee; 
father must have tho most Comfortable ehairin 
the house -the largest half of the lamp. Tho 
instant you hear father coming, presto i change 1 
clear the track, children ! your father is tired; 
don't disturb 1dm; run to your mother; she 
will attend to you. Mother mustn't get tired. 
Well, come ! Lot’s have tho denouement. 
Father plants himself in the only rocking 
chair tho house affords, elevates ids heels above 
the level of his nose, and remains a fixture for 
the rest of tho evening. Molher comes trot¬ 
ting down stairs, from hor task of putting the 
cherubs to bed, with an undignified sensation 
of pleasure at the bare possibility which sug¬ 
gests itself to her mind of a Boola! chat with 
her husband about, the occurrences of the day, 
which is Just what she needs, after tho mon¬ 
strous round of duties which she dally performs. 
Not a bit of it! there be sits, conning, with un¬ 
flinching steadiness, the columns of that odious 
paper, informing her by appearance, if not by 
words, that " Mum” is the order of the evening. 
So, heaving a faint little nigh, she takes her 
basket of stockings, and with unswerving, mar¬ 
tyr-like devotion, plies her needle until that 
man gets ready to speak to her! which will 
probably he when bo wants a dish of apples or 
a glass of eider. 
Yes, sir! my mind is quite made up on this 
subject, and I don’t see that I am going to help 
it any either, for: 
“ Mon wiil be men the wide world through. 
And women can’t help it, whatever they do.” 
Lou M. K i.hSKV. 
-♦-*-*- 
VISCOUNTESS BEACONSFIELD. 
Thu engraving wo present, tilts week, on 
page 61, of Mary Anne Disra m.i, Viscount¬ 
ess of Beaconsflold, who recently died at Hur- 
henden, in England, is from a portrait which 
Mr. DI8UAKLI has allowed to lie copied. Nho 
was the only daughter of Captain John Viney 
Evans, It. N., of Devonshire. In 1815 she mar¬ 
ried Wyndham Lewis, Esq., M. I*., who died in 
1838, without children, in 1X31) nho married 
Benjamin Disraeli, Esq, The union was a 
very happy one. On more than one occasion 
Mr. Disraeli has testified to the depth of his 
feeling for his wife, lie dedicated his novel of 
"Nybir’to her. in 1867, in a public speech at 
Edinburgh, lie spoke of Ids w ife ui " that gra¬ 
cious lady to whom lie owed so much of the 
happiness and success of bis life." In 1868 the 
Queen raised Mrs. Disraeli to tho peerage. 
At the t ime of her deatli she was 83, while Mr. 
Disraeli is some twenty years younger. Hy 
her first husband, Mr. Lewis, she came into 
possession of an immense fortune. Years ago 
young Disraeli and Mr. Lewis clubbed togeth¬ 
er to represent a certain double-seated const it- 
tienoy. The latter furnished the money and the 
former the brains. Mrs. Lewis used to speak 
disparagingly or her husband's intellectual at¬ 
tainments, while aim eulogized Mr. Disraeli 
to t he skies In less than a year after sho be¬ 
came a widow she married Mr. Disraeli. Mrs. 
D. was not aide to leave her husband any money, 
and rumor says that ho is hopelessly iu debt. 
Ho enjoys, however, a government pension of 
$35,000. 
--4~V4- 
SYMPTOMS OF MAIDENLY CELIBACY. 
We do not know who is the author of the fol¬ 
lowing; nor, of course, do we know whether 
the symptoms given are correct. We give them 
place, that the curious In such matters among 
our readers may have opportunity to verify 
them by observation, if they think the matter 
of sufficient Importance to them : 
When a woman begins to drink her tea with¬ 
out sugar -that's a symptom. 
When a woman begins to read love stories 
abed—that's a symptom. 
When a woman gives a sigh on hearing of a 
wedding—that's a symptom. 
When a woman begins t o say that she's re¬ 
fused many an offer that’s a symptom. 
When a woman begins to talk about rheuma¬ 
tism in hor knees and elbows—that’s a symp¬ 
tom. 
When a woman begins to refuse to toll her 
age—that's a symptom. 
When a woman begins to find fault with her 
looking glass, and say that it doesn’t show her 
features right—that’* a symptom. 
When a woman begins talking about cold 
drafts, and stops up the crevices in the doors 
anil windows—that 's a symptom. 
When a woman begins to say what a “ Dread¬ 
ful set of creatures men are, and that she 
wouldn’t lie bothered with 0110 for the world”— 
that’s a symptom. 
When a woman begins to change her shoes 
every time she comes into the house after a 
walk—that’s a symptom. 
When a woman begins to have a little dog 
trotting after her—that's a symptom. 
When a woman begins to have a cat at iier 
elbow at meal Mmo. and gives it sweetened 
milk that’s a symptom. 
When a woman begins to say that a servant 
lias no business with a sweetheart—that's a 
symptom. 
When a woman begins to rub her fingers over 
chairs and table , to see if they are dusty— that’s 
a symptom. 
When a woman begins to go to bed with her 
stockings und a llannel nightcap on—that's a 
symptom. 
When a woman begins l«, put her fingers be¬ 
fore her mouth when talking to any one, lor 
fear they should see she’s losing her teeth— 
that’s a symptom. 
Reading for the fjoiutg. 
SLEEP, BABY DARLING. 
BY MAJASA. 
Sleep, bahy darling, 
Close your blue eyes, 
Fading away 
Are the sunset dyes. 
The little birdie 
Has folded Its wing, 
No more sweet songs 
To-night will it sing. 
May He who sees 
The sparrow’s fall, 
Our God who watches 
Over uh nil 
Keep you safe, darling, 
Till the dawning light, 
Take you ut lust 
Where there is no night. 
T- - - 
MRS. BEAN-A STORY FOR CHILDREN. 
BY LAURA SOUTHGATE, 
“Goon morning, Mrs. Dean; I hope you are 
not quite so cross this morning,” said tho pert 
lit tle flower, COLUM rink, shaking out hor own 
pretty leaves In rather a proud way, and looking 
at the bean vino. 
“Well,” replied Mrs. Dean, “ If I, am not cross 
it. isn’t because there’B anything to bo cheerful 
about.” 
“Dear me, Mrs. Bean!" said Mrs. Rose, 
“ what Is It, I should like to know, that troubles 
you so much ?” 
“Troubles me! Yes, T should say so, as though 
Iliad ever had one minute's comfort! In the 
first place, they planted 1110 upahle down." 
“ Upside down ! Oh my! that must have been 
inconvenient." 
“Inconvenient! That doesn’t express it at 
at all; it was horrible! I sprouted nicely, and 
then discovered that 1 was upside down ; but 
which way to find daylight! How should 1 
know? I groped about two whole days first iu 
one direction, and then iu anot her, t ill at last I 
saw a peep of light; but just then, if you will 
believe it, that dreadful Tommy came along 
with a shovel and dug down after me, as though 
1 was not coming a.s fast as I could! Well, ho 
found mo, and said to ids little sister tbat I was 
growing downwards, as though I did not know 
what I was about; then he dragged mo out. 
Oh, It was po shocking! And then he set me on 
my head I And so I was deep down in tho 
ground again ; and then such an effort as I had 
to make ! Wriggling, and I wisting, and bother¬ 
ing, to get the right, direction once more; but 
at last I got up out of tho ground; and tho sun 
was so bright and the air so good I quite forgot 
all my troubles. And then l grew, and l grew, 
and 1 was quite proud of myself. But I soon 
began to find I was awfully weak in the back. 
I tried though with all my might to hold myself 
up; for the idea of my draggling down on the 
ground an though I was nobody I One day, just 
as I was getting out of all patience, Miss Lucy 
came along with a little stick it wasn't, much 
of an affair, but it gave mo some support and J 
immediately wound myself around It. 
Then I began right off making plans for the 
future; but, oh mercy! in the night a horrid 
Wind came, rearing round and round tho gar¬ 
den, und at last he got hold of me, and tho litt le 
stick and 1 wont over together. Oh dear me! 
if only I had had a good stalk of my own, I’d 
allow you what's what. Yes, that was my plan, 
to grow up very tall and graceful and wave my 
beautiful green loaves about a while, and then 
I expected to raise a family of daughters to 
make a line show in the world. I meant these 
Uowera of mine should bo all dressed in scarlet, 
and, oil my! how everyone would stare! But 
here it Is now. [ have to slay on tho ground. 
“Two days ago, as I suppose you all saw, I 
tried to climb up on Mrs. Rose here hy my side. 
Nile had never so much as a single bud of hor 
own, and l thought sho would be delighted with 
tho show 1 should make among her green leaves. 
On the contrary, she gave me to understand 1 
was not wanted. In truth. If I must tell all the 
rudeness that has been shown me, Miss Lucy 
came iu tho garden and Bald, 'Here, Imre! I 
can’t have this old bean on my lovely rose!’ 
“Now, I am down on the ground, and 1 never 
shall get up again. Dear, dear, it is too bad !” 
Now, when all tins flowers hoard poor Mrs. 
Dean’s story they did not laugh at tier misfor¬ 
tunes; they wero all very sorry and wished to 
help her. Pretty Miss Columbine whs hardly 
grown enough to do much, bill a lull Syringe 
and a beautiful Lilac tree put out their 
branches to her. Ho she took heart again and 
caught hold hero and there, and at last she got 
up and soon began 10 grow again; then she 
became vary handsome, and after a while her 
daughters came, all In scarlet, and as bright 
and beautiful as Mrs. Dean could wish. 
LETTERS TO YOUNG RURALISTS.-No. 15. 
FROM COUSIN JOHNNIE. 
Have any of my older cousins ever played the 
game of “Twenty Questions?” If not, 1 will 
t ry to explain and illustrate it so they can do so 
in future, ami 1 am sure they will like it. The 
company Is divided Into two parts, half going to 
one end of the room and half to another, and 
each side choosing one of their number to lie its 
spokesman. One side then thinks of something 
about which tho other side Is allowed to ask 
twenty questions and give three guesses. To 
make it quite plain to you, l will tell you just 
how a party of us played it tho other night. 
One side thought of the palaco of ice built a 
great many years ago liy an Empress of Russia, 
in which, you may remember, there were many 
large rooms and hulls; ii. was also very hand¬ 
somely furnished, und was lighted up with many 
hundreds of candies and colored lamps. Tho 
first question our side asked about it wus, 
“ What are the familiar mimes of the materials 
of which the tiling thought, of is composed?” 
You seo It is necessary to lie very careful in 
wording the questions, or the twent y will soon 
be used up t.<» no purpose. The answer was, 
"Oxygen, hydrogen, and animal matter," We 
knew then (since they are obliged lo answer 
truthfully) it must bo water: so we asked next, 
“ Are they Combined in a solid or liquid form?" 
The answer was, “Solid." This made us certain 
it was Ice; so wo next naked its size. Tho other 
side did not know exactly, but. they imagined It 
was about, one hundred feet lung, fifty feet 
wide, and four feet thick. Tho palace of lee 
was immediately thought of by one of our num¬ 
ber, but we would not venture a guess until wo 
had found out something still more definite ; so 
wo then asked, “ For what, wus It used?” The 
answer was, “ As an ornament.” You see, those 
answering tho questions try to give as little In¬ 
formation as possible. The next question was, 
“Who used this thing as an ornament?” They 
said, “ A. great, many people whose names they 
did not know.” Then wo asked for the exact 
locality whore this thing is, or was to boTound, 
and they answered, “ Russia.” Then we gave a 
guess that it was the palace <>f ice. and suro 
enough it. was right. This game is very inter¬ 
esting ami Improving if played carefully, but 
you must bo cautious not to ask or answer any 
questions without consulting together (in whis¬ 
pers, remember, lest the other side hear you), 
and lot. your spokesman do all tho talking. It 
is best also for each side to have a piece of paper 
on which to write the questions and answers as 
they are given. 
$he |) trader. 
MISCELLANEOUS ENIGMA.—No. 2. 
I am composed of 44 letters: 
My 33, 11, 30, 31,19 is the name of an editor. 
My 41, 31, 5, 16 Is a shelf ornament. 
My 8, 3, 4, 39, 5, 43, 14, 10, 43 is one of the South¬ 
ern States. 
My 1, 7, 5,15 in employment. 
My 39, 39, 30, 34,33 la not burdensome. 
My I), 37, 3fi, 17,33,31 Is to vacillate. 
My 30, 4, 44, 33, 39, 40, 7, 13, 28 is to buy and sell at 
Fairs. 
My 3, 34, 13 Is fiery. 
My 6, 34, 38 Is a tray for carrying brick. 
My 18, 35,19, 20 , 14 is a quadruped. 
My 25, 43, 5, 37 is an animal that lives in water. 
My whole is a part, of 0110 of the Ten Com¬ 
mandments, C. xi. A. 
ISB'’" Answer in two weeks. 
— «»«- 
CROSS-WORD ENIGMA-No. 3. 
My first, is in man but not in boy, 
My second is in elato but not in joy ; 
My third is In early but not in late. 
My fourth is in Sarah but not in Kate; 
My fifth is in wheel but not in band, 
My whole is a species of low land. 
iW~ Answer in two weeks. “ Buckeye.” 
PROBLEM. No. 2. 
Determine, by equations of the second de¬ 
gree, the sides of two dissimilar triangles, each 
containing an area of 6 acres, each having a 
perimeter of 300 rods, and each having tho rec¬ 
tangle contained by one of its sides and a line 20 
rods in length, equal to the rectangle contained 
by the other two. B. F. Burleson, 
;??/" Answer in two weeks. 
-- 
PUZZLE.-No. 3. 
I have live letters. 1 begin as crooked as an S. 
My second is a nut; my third was known from 
the beginning of letters. These three make a 
German watering place, to which I come, and 
with iny last make suffering. My whole is a 
once great nation. What was it? 
gsr Answer in two weeks. 
- 4 -*~*- 
PUZZLER ANSWERS. Jan. 11. 
I Illustrated Rebus No. 2. Malice and hatred 
are very fretting. 
Miscellaneous Enigma No. 1.—The love of 
money ts the root of all evil. 
■ Puzzle No. 1.—Eleven. 
Anagram No. 1.— 
When tilings don’t go to .suit you. 
And the world seem* upside down, 
Don’t waste your tune I 11 fretting, 
But drive away that frown. 
Drop-Letter Puzzle No. I.— 
lie practised every pass and ward, 
To thrust, to strike, to feint, to guard: 
Whllo less expert, though stronger far, 
The Gael maintained unequal war. 
