MOOBE’S BUBAL «EW-Y08XEB. 
<3ULY 
i " iS 
midcflled. He has composed an elegant, poem 
on liculth and set. it to music." 
“On health? I shouldn’t think the theme 
would he very Inspiring to ’’ 
“The theme not inspiring! What grander, 
nobler, more philanthropic theme could bo 
imagined ?’’ 
“To be sure,” replied Adolphus, weakly. 
“Hut then love, and war, and and—madness 
are generally regarded as more, romantic, you 
know." 
“Oh, yes, they are well enough in their way. 
Mr. Sn< t; sings some beautiful love songs, 
too. By the way, Mr. Hopkins, have you ever 
considered love in its msthetle sense -studied 
what might be denominated the philosophy of 
love in its bearing upon the great mass of hu¬ 
manity?" 
“ No, I don’t know sis I have,” replied Adol¬ 
phus, uncomfortably. 
“ The subject is one rich in opportunity for 
the widest speculation. A mind of subtle reas¬ 
oning powers and keen discrimination can ex¬ 
pend its utmost profundity in contemplation 
of the varied images called into the mental 
ether by such exercises." 
“Ho you think bo?” asked Adolphus, whose 
own mind was rapidly becoming helplessly be¬ 
wildered. 
“J know it. Yours is a nature, for instance, 
that when onee developed, would take immeas¬ 
urable delight in roaming under such Helds of 
thought." 
“ I don’t know about that,” he replied, mak¬ 
ing a desperate attempt to change the subject. 
“ Ho you know how long this Jake is ?" 
“Sixteen miles and three-quarters,”she re¬ 
plied, with int imidating accuracy. 
“ Do you like to row ?’’ 
“ I think It. Is grand.” 
“Can’t, wo take a boat, ride to-morrow? I 
suppose they have boats.” 
“1 should be delighted." 
“The scenery seems to ho very romantic. 
How far dare one go from the shore?” 
“1 have frequently rowed across and back— 
making in all three miles—before breakfast." 
“ Oh," he responded, looking at her in awe, 
“You were speaking of the scenery. It is 
romantic. There are. some of the most lovely 
little bays and delightful glens that can be Im¬ 
agined. Nature seems to have lavished her 
most ingenious handiwork on some of the re¬ 
treats—as I call them." 
“B> ' rents—yes. 1 suppose one is away from 
all the dust and noise-’’ 
“Oh, heavens!" exclaimed Miss Hoomer, 
springing up suddenly. “There goes the bell! 
I must take my sltz-bath! I had actually almost 
forgotten It.. Wo will see each other again.” 
And flinging him a moiling glance, she has¬ 
tened away. Adolphus w:is so amazed that he 
did not even bid her adieu, but sat for several 
minutes transfixed. The vivid blush that had 
at llrsi suffused his face soon failed, and was 
succeeded by an unhappy look. Finally, he 
arose, and began walking spiritlessly up and 
down the >aths. He felt overpowered for the 
time being quite annihilated. 
Suddenly, i ghast ly look overspread his coun¬ 
tenance its I. recollected that he had invited 
Miss Boomer to go rowing. “ f don’t know the 
first thing about boats,” he reflected. “ What 
shall be done? This is a dreadful situation. 
What can 1 tell her?" 
His distress was truly pitiable. Ho retired to 
his room in a depressed frame of mind, where 
he remained in seclusion the rest of the day. 
As if the fates were in his favor, a rain set in 
during the night, and the next morning there 
was a most encouraging prospect for il « con¬ 
tinuance for forty-eight hours, at least. Thus 
he was absolved from passing through the 
dreaded ordeal for a time, and he fondly hoped 
that when the weather did.clear up Miss Boom¬ 
er would have forgotten all about the pro¬ 
posed excursion. At any rate, lie resolved not 
to mention it. 
On account of the rain, all were lounging 
about indoors. Tho parlor was the principal 
resort. But Adolphus steered clear of Miss 
Boomer: he preferred to contemplate Iter from 
a distance. There was a pale, yetlow-hairod, 
innocent-looking damsel, named Miss Minor, 
who attracted tits attention, and he became 
engaged in conversation with her. 
“Do you not And yourself greatly bonotited 
by remaining here, Mr. Hopkins?" asked Miss 
Mince. - 
“Benefited ? I can’t tell yet. In fact, I have 
not begun to take treatment.” 
“Don’t take treatment You surprise me. 
It is delightful!" 
“Is it?" doubtfully. 
“You had better believe it is. You must lis¬ 
ten to Dr. Blast's lectures Saturday morning. 
He will be sure to convert you. He deserves 
the name of missionary."* 
“Yes—so I am told.” 
“ He is doing a great work. If his ideas could 
only be generally accepted, there would be a 
vast amount of sin and misery and wickedness 
and heart-agony done away with.” 
“ I suppose he is a very smart man?” 
“U—m in, yes!” with an omphalic motion 
of her head. “ He has made the most valuable 
discoveries in regard to the laws of hygiene, 
and hiseluokbSlonsof them are perfectly splen¬ 
did.” 
“ What do they do here on such d«i# s as WHa ?” 
asked Adolphus, determined nor to let the 
conversation take the turn it threatened to. 
“Oh, we have games and conundrums and 
literary debates. Don’t you love debating ?” 
“Y’es—I don’t know—I suppose I would. I 
never debated much. T don’t believe I could 
think of anything to say if J should get up.” 
“ Couldn’t think of anything to say, with as 
many abuses around you needing reform ! Oh, 
Mr.-" 
Here the young lady stopped abruptly, con¬ 
sulted her watch, and exclaimed !—“Oh, I had 
almost forgotten the time. I must go and take 
a pack now. Excuse me: I will he back in an 
hour.” 
And she tripped away in her eager haste. 
Adolphus was again shocked “ Back—sitz- 
batli,” lie murmured,and with a painful feeling 
of outraged modesty ho sat down In a chair 
and began turning over the leaves of a hook. 
Soon, however. Miss Boomer sailed down 
upon him and took possession of him. She 
seated herself alarmingly close to him, ami said : 
“ I dare say some people would call this day 
unpleasant, but It has Sts lessons; don't you 
think so, Miss Hopkins?” 
“Undoubtedly," replied Adolphus; “but it 
Is insufferably dull.” 
“ It is te/t dull for those whose minds are over 
on the alert for some object of profit able con¬ 
templation," said Miss Boomer. "Your mind 
needs educating as well as your body, Mr. liop- 
Ki ns. Your physical habits having always been 
had, your mind is naturally in an unhealthy 
state." 
“ I don’t know as I have any particularly bad 
habits.” 
“Oh, hut you certainly have. For years you 
have been filling yourself with filth and corrup¬ 
tion in the form of food that was no more fit to 
be taken Into the stomach than so many tons 
of cast Iron. This, of course, has affected your 
nature. Your blood is impure, stagnant and 
inactive. You are totally unfitted for perform¬ 
ing tho more active and noble duties of life. 
You need reforming through and through." 
“Oli, I don’t pretend tu say that I am per¬ 
fect." 
“No, I should think not. Now, I dare say, 
your appetite Is poor sometimes.” 
“ Oh, yes—very often.” 
“ Precisely. Just the condition 1 was in once. 
But now I can eat six Graham biscuits at a 
meal, three saucers of pounded wheat, heaping 
full, besides any quantity of rice and milk.” 
“Yea?" faltered Adolphus. 
“You must consult Dr. Blast, regulate your 
diet , and exercise properly. By the way, it was 
too bad that we wore cheated out of our row 
to-day. I think it will bo pleasant to-morrow, 
and then wo must not forget the appointment." 
“Certainly not," replied Adolphus, with a 
sinking heart. 
“ Well," she said, rising, “ I must go and take 
a cold dash now. You have no idea, Mr. Hop¬ 
kins, how a cold dash every day would benefit 
you. It would he the making of you.’* 
Adolpiiuh made a fuMIe endeavor to laugh 
at this its a joke, while she flitted away. 
At. dinner time he took pains to observe her, 
and xvas startled at, the amount of provisions 
she disposed of. Her enjoyment of the Gra¬ 
ham biscuit, as well as her astonishing capacity 
for cracked wheat, received his secret atten¬ 
tion, and he felt a more profound respect for 
her Mian ever. 
In the afternoon, as amusements were in 
order, he brought down his guitar and sang 
some of his choicest songs. He was loudly ap¬ 
plauded, and by none more heartily than Miss 
Boomer, lie had sung what lie considered his 
masterpieces, namely, "Then You'll Remember 
Me,” and “Ah Che La Murte." when Miss 
Boomer asked if he knew “The Cup of Cold 
Water,” and on being answered in the negative, 
further inquired If " No Bolted Flour for Me" 
were iu his repertoire. Another negative elic¬ 
ited from hex a voluntary proposal to sing the 
latter herself. 
Of course, a general murmur of assent en¬ 
sued: whereupon, with the confidence born of 
conscious power, Miss Boomer took her place 
iu the middle of the floor, and executed the 
piece iu clarion tones, without the aid of any 
accompaniment. Adolphus held out his gui¬ 
tar Once, signifying that if she would give him 
the notes he would accompany her. But with 
a seraphic smile Rhe waved him aside, refusing 
to be Interrupted. 
Just as the song began Dr. Blast entered, 
and seeing what was going on, signified his ap¬ 
proval by a bland smile and a lively twinkle of 
ills eyes. At the close of each verse he waved 
his hands, and with the other inmates of the 
room joined ill the refrain, which was as fol¬ 
lows : 
“ No bolted flour for me; 
It undermines man’s greatest wealth. 
I’d sooner, by far, swallow bran, 
Aud lay the foundation for health!” 
At the close there was an immense clapping 
of hands and cheering, whereat Dr. Blast bow¬ 
ed profoundly, mid with many smiles left the 
room. 
“ Dr. Blast composed the words,” explained 
Miss Boomer to Adolphus. She wnsvpiiteout 
of breath, and panted audibly. “ Mr. Snoozlk 
wrote the music,” she added. And after a short 
interval she expressed her opinion that “such 
songs were calculated to benefit humanity as 
well as to delight the ear.” 
“Certainly,” was Adolphus' weak reply, de¬ 
livered wearily. 
The next morning, when Adolphus awoke, 
t he first thing he did was u> look anxiously out 
of the window. With a thrill of dismay he saw 
t hat the sun was shining brightly and (he birds 
were hopping among the branches. The lake 
was calm, there being a mere ripple of blue 
waves across its surface. A distant sail was 
gliding along near the opposite shore. The 
scene was a beautiful one, but Adolphus was 
in no condition to appreciate it. His thoughts 
were solely occupied with his engagement to 
take Miss Boomer out rowing. He felt sure 
that; there was no escape from it, and such, in¬ 
deed, proved to ho the fact. 
About ten o’clock, as he was promenading in 
front of the Cure, n tail figure in a short calico 
dress and pants lu match, thick calfskin shoes 
and a Shaker bonnet, boro down on him. As it 
■hew near he saw I hat it was Miss Boom KR. He 
looked at her iu consternation. 
“Well, I’m all ready, you see,” she said, cheer¬ 
ily. “Miss Mince will bo along soon, with a 
basket of provisions, f told her she might go 
with us, and thought we might as well make a 
day of it. There are a few especially romantic 
spots that I wish to show you, and it will take 
some time." 
“ I shall be delighted, I am sure,” murmured 
Adolphus. "But—excuse ine—why do you 
wear that singular looking dress?” 
“ Oh, that is my American costume. I always 
wear it when I go on an excursion like tills. In 
fact, when my other dresses wear out, 1 mean 
to wear it altogether. It ought to bt generally 
adopted, and it will, in time. It is greatly con¬ 
ducive to free movement and healthy develop¬ 
ment ; and it is graceful, too. Do you not 
think so?’’ 
“Well. I can’t hardly say that I exactly ad¬ 
mire-” 
“Ah, here comes Miss Mince!” exclaimed 
Miss Boomer. “ Now we'll lie off. I suppose 
you have engaged a boat?" 
"No. I I that is, I was just going to, when 
you came. I didn’t know that we were to start, 
so early.” 
“It will make no difference, I guess. There 
are always plenty of them.” 
“Good morning, Miss Mince,” said Adol¬ 
phus, when that young lady mine up to them. 
“Good morning, Mr. Hopkins. We have a 
beautiful d«y for our row; so balmy.” 
“And harmonious,” added Miss Boomer. 
“Yes,” chimed Miss Mince. 
“Very," sulked Adolphus. 
They all three proceeded to the boat house, 
whore a boy gave them a key, and pointed to 
an apartment where there was a good, light, 
easy rowing hunt, with two pair of oars. They 
soon had the boat untied, and were ready to 
embark. Miss Mince stepped in first, and seated 
herself in the stem. Miss Boomer followed, 
and ADOLPHUS, seeing how easy it was, stepped 
in also. But lie had not calculated on balanc¬ 
ing the boat, and It tipped so to one side that 
lie was fain to make a sudden grasp at the first 
object he could get, hold of. This happened to 
be Miss Boomer ; but he did not perceive It in 
his confusion. He gave an agonized shout for 
“help" in a tone denoting > xtreme terror. But 
lie did not fall in. Miss Boomer proved to be 
a firm rock, and gallantly supported him as he 
clung to her. 
“ What’s the matter?” she asked, in astonish¬ 
ment., 
“Nothing," he answered. “We’re all right, 
so far. But don’t you think it’s a little too 
rough to go out now?” 
“Rough? Mercy, no! Why, we couldn't have 
a liner day." 
She then sat down, and waited for Adolphus 
to commence rowing. By dint of much exer¬ 
tion. lie pushed out of the narrow boat house 
by pressing against its walls, and then essayed 
to take the oars. Some way, he couldn't get 
them to going right. 
“ Look out for that boy 1" screamed Miss 
Mince. 
“Where?” shouted Adolphus, dropping hie 
oars and staring wildly about. 
But In another instant there was a collision, 
and Adolphus was precipitated over back¬ 
wards, again finding refuge in Miss Boomer, 
into whose lap he pitched. 
Miss Minor’s attention at this juncture seem¬ 
ed to be diverted by some intensely interesting 
object in the opposite direction, and a convul¬ 
sive motion of her shoulders might have indi¬ 
cated to a keen observer that she was agitated 
by merriment. 
Adolphus, however, was busy picking him¬ 
self up. With an expression of half sheepish¬ 
ness and ha I f anger, he seized the oars and com¬ 
menced plashing iu the water vigorously. And 
after he hud pretty well drenched ids two lady 
companions, he managed to start the boat 
forward, propelling it with nervous, uneven 
strokes. They made slow progress, their course 
being similar to that of a yacht, making short 
tacks against the wind. 
“Why don't it go straight?” asked Adolphus, 
panting. 
“ Oh, you’ll get the knack of it pretty quick,” 
said Miss Boomer, cheerfully. 
Ho struggled desperately with the obstinate 
oars, the blue veins in his forehead swelling 
and the perspiration starting from every pore, 
"This is magnificent exercise for you,” said 
Miss Boomer, complacently. “ It develops the 
muscles and impels the blood to a healthy flow. 
When we return, you must walk about gently 
for an hour, take a cold dash, sleep a few min¬ 
utes, and then your appetite for supper will be 
excellent.” 
“Ain’t we pretty near there?” gasped Anoi,- 
FHU8. 
“ Where ?" asked Miss Boomer. 
" l don't know: that place you were going to 
show me.” 
“Oh, no; the Devil’s Cave is two miles fur¬ 
ther on. And the Fountain of Health, a beau¬ 
tiful little waterfall, is clear across the lake. 
But suppose we stop here for a moment and 
look about us. It is grand, in my estimation. 
The undulating lines of those hills, sweeping 
down to lap up the sparkling water; the trees, 
with their many forms and colors, reaching up 
to embrace the fleecy clouds—all are suggestive 
of so many human emotions and passions that 
the stricken heart may find sympathetic re¬ 
sponse to in its agonized cry. Is there not an 
answering vibration in your own breast, Mr. 
Hopkins ?” 
“ I don't know. I'm tryingto get my breat h.” 
“ Please let me row a little while,” proposed 
Miss Boomer. 
“ Oh, no. I'll be all right in a minute.” 
“But I insist upon it. It is my favorite ex¬ 
ercise.” 
“ Well, if von prefer It, I shall not object.” 
“ We will have to eliange places.” 
“ All right.” 
“Walk steady now, as we pass each other, 
and not let t he boat tip.” 
Adolphus cast a wistful glance at the shore, 
which was some forty rods distant, and rose to 
a pail.lally standing posture. The two walked 
along cautiously. 
“Oh, Miss Boomer!” screamed Miss Mince, 
at this juncture, in piercing tones, “we'll lose 
our sltz baths!" 
Adolphus was so startled that he jumped, 
made a misstep, lost, his balance, and the next 
instant fell Over the side of the boat, his head 
and shoulders sinking In the cold water. 
“Oh!" shrieked both the ladies. 
Adolphus would have shrieked too, if he 
could. 11 is heels quickly disappeared also, 
but lie immediately rose to the surface again, 
strangling and clawing with his arms. Miss 
Boomer, whose presence of mind did not de¬ 
sert htr, reached out and seized him by the col¬ 
lar. She held his head above water until he 
could grasp the side of the boat. 
“Oh, dear!" ejaculated Miss Mince, “what 
shall we do?” 
“Don't he frightened — he won’t drown,” 
calmly replied Miss Boomer. “We will have 
to tow him ashore; for he mustn’t try to climb 
in the boat hero—that would tip us all over. 
Can you hold on, Mr. Hopkins?” 
Adolphus couldn’t speak. He was blowing 
the water from his mouth and nostrils and 
gasping for breath. But he held on to the boat 
with a good will. 
“1 think I had bettor keep hold of his coat,” 
said Miss Bo .'SR, “and you row to the 
shore,” 
So Miss Mince t ook the oars, headed the boat 
around, and they were soon gliding slowly to¬ 
ward the shore. 
“This is awful!” exclaimed Adolphus, as 
soon as his organs of speech could execute their 
office. 
“Oh, no, it might have been worse,” said 
Miss Boomer. “ You lu’e alive and safe.” 
“ You ought t.o he thankful that you are not 
drowned," chirped Miss Mince. 
“ I was speaking of this romantic scenery as 
connected with human emotions,” said Miss 
Boomer, after they were fairly under way. 
“And that brings up the subject of aflinitles, 
those mysterious chords that scorn to have a 
common melody In two human hearts, and draw 
thorn to each other with an inexplicable attrac¬ 
tion.” 
Adolphus groaned, and prepared for the 
stream of philosophy that was coming. He did 
not appreciate Miss Boomer. Ifo whs convinced 
of that. But she talked on, and lie gulped 
down her words us best ho could, while the 
steady stream of cold water rushing swiftly 
down his back, chest and lugs, chilled him 
through and through. Just as they drew near 
the shore, Miss BOOMER said : 
" For instance, you and l, Mr. Hopkins, by 
daily intercourse, might discover sympathetic 
qualities in each other that, while perhaps they 
may be long in coming to the surface, would be 
none the less irresistible. And in the course of 
time it might transpire that wo were created 
for each other, and that tho eternal fitness of 
tilings required that wo should join hands in 
life’s journey-” 
“No you don’t!” ejaculated ADOLPHUS, who 
eon Id now touch bottom with his feet. “That 
is going too far!" He let go of the boat, and 
commenced wading ashore as rapidly its he 
could. “ I shan't stand it any longer. You’ve 
got ine into this tlx and you ought to he satis¬ 
fied. I think this is a cold dash in earnest. And 
it’s tho last one I shall take!” 
“ But, come; are you not going to get into the 
boat again ?” 
“No, J'm not. You go on, where you please. 
I’ll pay the bill. I’ll go and settle it now. Fin¬ 
ish your ride. I’m going home,” 
And lie rapidly climbed to the top of a bluff 
near by, and disappeared around a clump of 
hushes, despite the calls and appeals of the la¬ 
dies. When they returned, a few hours later, 
lie had left Cliffdale, hag and baggage. 
11 c gave a doleful account of his tribulations 
on arriving home, declaring the boat ride, with 
its accompanying cold tote, tu be the “crown¬ 
ing outrage of ail." He is now reveling in 
sweetmeats, idleness and late hours. Alas! we 
fear that this cruel world has in store for him 
many bitter experiences, and that lie has not by 
any means received his last “ cold dash.” 
-- 
I obacg’onirt (to youth who has been turning 
over the stock of pipes for the last quarter of 
an hour, and has bought nothing):—“ Ah, I see 
what it is. \ ou'ro so partiek'lor, you ought to 
be measured for a pipe.” 
