miscellaneous QUmertisements 
itmar 
BUYING A HORSE AND BUGGY. 
Caused the death of fifty-eight men, and 
the maiming or other serious injury of 
more than one hundred others. Not one 
in that crowded room who did not feel 
safe, a moment before that terrible fall. 
Not one, probably, who could not have 
been insured $5,000 against death or 
wholly disabling injury by accident, for 
$25 to $50 a year. 
Tins Travelers Insurance Company 
of Hartford, Conn., is the only company 
in America writing yearly General Acci¬ 
dent Policies. It pays promptly all just 
claims, and rejects those which are invalid 
or fraudulent It has paid Twelve Hun¬ 
dred Thousand Dollars in benefits to 
its policy holders, averaging Seven Hundred 
Dollars a Day for the six years it has been 
in operation. Why not have an Accident 
Policy ? 
The following originally appeared in the 
Buffalo Express. It is so very good that it 
will bear many repetitions: 
C- V, an attache of one of the Pennsyl¬ 
vania railroads, but well known in Buffalo 
ns an inveterate practical joker, happened in 
Cleveland the other flay, and the weather 
being mild and warm, he conceived the hap¬ 
py idea of taking the fair object of his adora¬ 
tion out. riding. Donning his best suit, lie 
started post baste for the nearest livery stable. 
He was a partial stranger in the vicinity, and 
the livery stable keeper, not knowing him, 
and imagining possibly, from the state of 
nervous excitement in which he presented 
himself, that “ something was up,” refused to 
let him take a horse and buggy. 
“But,” remonstrated C-r, “I am good 
for a dozen horses and buggies.” 
“ Very well, then, leave me some security,” 
demanded the suspicious livery man. 
“How much do you consider your darn’d 
rig worth ?” angrily asked our friend. 
“ About $350.” ’ 
“H I buy it nowand pay you $550in cash, 
will you agree to buy it back for the same 
sum when I get through with it?" asked 
Ready-Made Clothing Department. 
BROAD CLOTH DRESS SUITS, 
CASSIMERE WALKING SUITS, 
CHEVIOT TRAVELING SUITS, 
BOYS’ DRESS & SCHOOL SUITS, 
FANCY SUITS FOR SMALL BOYS, 
FURUISHBU y 
ROOM* 1 
ta LET 
B O ARO ** 
SKIM-Lf AM'li 
NO COIL'DSCN 
Merchant Tailoring Department. 
COMPLETE LINES OF NOVELTIES, 
BOTH IN FOREIGN AND DOMESTIC 
GOODS. 
SUJiUUBAN LODGINGS, 
TITE LOWEST PRICE FOR 
THE CHOICEST STYLES, AND 
THE GREATEST VARIETY 
hear upon him, asked him whether, in the 
case of the man with the withered hand,the 
mini healed himself, nr the Loud healed him. 
“ Well,” replied Mr. Fjbkk, “I always sup¬ 
posed that the man had a hand, in it,” a 
reply of which a well-known College Pro¬ 
fessor says "the theology is as faultless as 
the wit.” 
“ Dunn Brown” could not always keep his 
humor out of his prayers, even. It bubbled 
out in the oddest ways imaginable, at times, 
and marked the preacher ns an original. His 
congregation, or a part of it, had the very 
bad (mbit of coming late to service, and il is 
related that in one of bis public petitions be 
prayed "that the Lord would bless the con¬ 
gregation assembled, and that portion of it 
which was on the way to church, and those 
who were at home, gelling ready to come, 
and that, in His infinite patience, lie would 
grant the IkmdMion to those who reached 
the house of God just in time for that.” 
"Certainly, sir,” politely responded the 
owner, who thought lie saw a chance for a 
good bargain. 
“All right. Here’s your money;” and 
jumping into the vehicle, C-p drove off 
to the residence of his expectant Angelina 
Of course she was ready, and of course a 
pleasant drive was enjoyed. Up one and 
down another of those beautifully laid-onl 
avenues of Cleveland they rode, breathing 
the IVesh and balmy atmosphere of a glori¬ 
ous spring day, admiring the handsome resi¬ 
dences which line the streets, 0-p talking 
sweet nonsense all Iho while, and A ngklina 
looking as if she felt transported to the sev¬ 
enth heaven of delight. 
Por two hours did the happy couple ride 
ami admire the newly-developed beauties of 
nature, when the sinking sun reminded our 
hero that official duties awaited his atten¬ 
tion; and leaving his full* companion at the 
door of her residence, he drove back to the 
livery stable. 
“ Well,” said he to the proprietor, " you 
sec I am here again, and I presume you arc 
ready to buy this rig back.” 
“ Yes, sir, I trust I am a man of my word,’ 
coolly responded tiiat individual, at the same 
time, handing C- —p $550 in greenbacks, 
which our friend quietly stowed away in an 
inside pocket, and was moving oji', when— 
“Hold on here," cried the livery man, 
“you havon’t paid for your two hours’ use 
of lids ’ere horse and buggy t” 
“ What do you mean?” in turn responded 
C-p. “ Didn’t i buy that horse and 
buggy of you two hours ago?” 
“ Ves.” 
“ Well, then, wlint In creation do you 
mean by asking me to pay for the use of my 
own rig?” retorted C-p, as he moved off 
with well-assumed indignation, while the 
stable hands and bystanders smiled audibly. 
IIVEll TT HEM ENTS (CUN’S INDEX TO 
for Next of KIn. Chancery Heirs, l,o£otfou#, arirt 
ion of Unclaimed Muncy since 10 ) 0 , Price, fit) ets 
Oil N HOOPER & CO., it Park Row, New York. 
(Ey Inquiries by mail promptly answered, 
and system of self-measurement forwarded 
when desired. 
DEVLIN 6c CO. 
MISCELLANEOUS ENIGMA-No. 14 
r ril»C OI.DCST, liAROEST AND 
1 Must Perfect .VIanufactory In the United States. 
45,000 NOW IN USE. 
UF.O. A. PHIM E A. C O.’S 
ORGANS AND MELODEONS 
will be delivered In any |»iirt of tint United Stales 
reached In Express (where they have no agent,) 
FKKE of cii a non, on receipt of list price. 
Semi fur Price List amt cireulnrs. Address 
GKO A, PRINCE A CO., Buffalo, N. Y. 
GEO. A. PRINCE A CO., Chlougo, HI. 
I am composed of eighty-nine letters, 
My 1, SO, 30, 05, II, 82 is n tree. 
My 5. 62,88,77. 65.01 is a flower. 
My 9, 31.41, fill, 09,18 is a fruit. 
My 12, 64.18, 79. 4,0 is an insect. 
M| ft 8 , £ 1 , 09 , 94,80 is A Ml 
My 23, 10, 74,38,03. 4 Is an animal. 
My 27. 20. 00, 39, 30, o is an Insect. 
My 33, 28, 12. .18, H7. 70 is an animal. 
My 37. HO, 62,4-5.2, 71 is a reptile. 
My 47,19, 7.72, 85, 8J is a bird. 
My 63, 4, 78, 57, 87, 0 (8 ft vehicle. 
My 64, 18,30, 13, 2,80 Is a reptile. 
My 69, 04,40, 73. 32, H is a bird. 
My 02, 44. 7, 30, Si, 22 Is a flower. 
My 07, 49, 38, 76s 42, 05 is a rehili-e. 
My 70, 9, 33, 77, 25 .08 ts an animal. 
My 80, 35, fij, 29, 27, 10 is a fruit. 
My 83, 41, 88, 43, 48, CO isan animal. 
My 89,15,81, 8, 53, 61 is a bird. 
My whole is a pool ie. quotation. 
Sheffield, I‘a. 
£ tV"A nswer in two weeks. 
WALTHAM WATCHES 
IN 2-07,. CASES, 
For Merchant*, Klerk# and Professional Men 
WALTHAM WATCHES 
IN 8-0/,. CAMKH, 
For Farmers, Carpenters and other Mechanics, 
WALTHAM WATCHES 
IN i-07. CASES, 
For Mariner#, Soldiers and Expressmen 
Mil,I,A ICS PATENT RUBRER PRESS KINGS, 
for preventing thtunird from prusslngoui of a cheese 
hoop. They take I lie place of pres# cloth#, are more 
easily cleaned, allow the follower* to lit. loosely, leave 
a nice rounding edge, save all trimming, therefore 
will pay fur thtmmh re in finer muiillin’ rise, 
Pric’d#, I t In. and less, file, each ; 14)4 *016 In., 00c. 
each, mu' to Is In..tic. i-nuh. 
OH A RGBS MILLAR A SON, Utica. N. Y., 
Manufacturers and Dealer# Jn Cheese Factory and 
Dairy Supplies. 
WALTHAM WATCHES 
IN 5*055. CASKS. 
For Conductors, Engineers and Baggagemen, 
WALTHAM WATCHES 
IN (t-oz. CASES. 
For Miners, Lumbermen and Stage Drivers. 
WALTHAM WATCHES 
SOLVING A PROBLEM, 
KNITTING 
IN 8-OZ. CASKS, 
For all who wish something VERY substantial. 
All the uhovo are described in our Price List. 
Write for It a# follow*: 
Messrs. IIOWA Rl) .V CO., No. 785 Broadway, N. V.: 
Please send me rout Illustrated Price 1.1st of \V A L- 
TJI AM W A Tf 'll KK,»» por advertisement In MOOUE’s 
ID If A I N KtV-VnilK Kit. 
Sion Name and Adduicfs in Frt.r., 
And yon will receive It, post-paid, by return mall. 
It gives all the informal Ion you desire, and explain* 
our plan of sending Watches by Express without any 
risk to the purchaser. 
HOWARD X- t o., 7Hr, llrmidwny, N. Y. 
Fin nun l v No. tail Hi iindwav. 
The host thing in the current number of 
the Harvard Advocate is this: 
The other day Molecule propounded the 
following to Atom: 
“Ahoy said toil gentleman, ‘ My father 
and mother have a daughter, but hIui is not 
my staler.’ Now how do you explain that?” 
Atom reflected, but all in vain. To his 
every suggestion Molecule replied by a mild 
but decided negative. At length Atom was 
forced to give it up. 
“ Why, it’s simple enough,” said Molecule 
with an exasperating smile, “ the boy lied !’i 
J> Y THIS I NIC or I he I.A HI I* IANIT- 
1> TING MACHINE, families are eimhled to pro¬ 
vide everything in knit goods, superior In <iimlity 
find nt, half the cost of common lionghtnu goods. 
The machine knit ts a pair of seek# In lulnutes, 
shapes them perfectly, making It# work the kamo as 
that, produced by baud. Any one dependent, upon 
their own exertion# for then livelihood, cun procure 
It more easily by the u»e of l-hta machine than 111 any 
other wav. For Circular and sample stocking, ad¬ 
dress, Inclosing stump, .1. D. OUNR A CO., 
1 and 3 Market St., Kook osier, N. Y. 
ILLUSTRATED REBUS.-No. 11 
Simpson, Hall, 
Miller & Co 
UNION PACIFIC 
RAILROAD COMPANY 
OFFER FOR SALE 
1,500,000 ACRES LANDS. 
MANUFACTURERS OF 
WITH 
PUKE SILVER. 
The experience of FORTY YEARS on the part of 
our Mr. Simpson, and the use of new ami Ingenious 
labor-saving machinery, enables us to oiler to the 
trade n line of goods In 
ORIGINAL AND ELEGANT DESIGNS, 
which for BEAUTY, FINISH and DURABILITY 
CANNOT DE EXCELLED. 
All goods hearing our trade-mark, 
“ IMPROVED ELECTBU TREBLE PLATE,” 
AltK OK THE BEST QUALITY IMIODUCKD: 
and. If found defective or not us represented, cun bo 
returned mid the money will he refunded. 
OFFICE AND FACTORY, WALLING FORD, CONN. 
SAMPLE AND SALESROOM, 19 JOHN ST., N. V. 
ON THE LINK OF TDK ROAD, IN THE STATE 
OF NEBRASKA. 
For C'iimIi or Credit, nt Low KiiIch of 
I merest. 
Prices ranging from 
GLIMPSES OF GENIUS 
Josn Rri.i.rNOS says:—“The mowl is a larger 
bn id 11 in 11 t lie ituko nr turkey, Il has two legs 
to walk wii It, and two more t<> kick with, and it 
ware* il.s wings on the side of ita head." 
A CERTAIN ooolmey, overcome by In* bo nSi¬ 
bil ilies, In in ted at the grave of li is fourth wife. 
“ What shall wo do with him ?” asked ft perplexed 
friend of hl«. 
“Let him alone," said a waggish bystander, 
“lie’ll soon re-wive.” 
A i.rPTLK four-yenr-obl miss, bearing ngenlIo¬ 
nian addressed at her lathcr'Bhousea#" Joseph,” 
o.ved Inin Intently for a while, and then asked, 
“ Was you Hie Mr. .losopli who wits sold by Ids 
brethren V” “Yes," replied t lie gentleman. "(), 
i wit* so sorry for you!’’ said the little kindly 
heart. 
“ Hoy," said a hurrying pedestrian to a street 
yainin, “ may 1 inquire where Robinson's drug 
store la?" 
" Yes, mister.” 
“Well, where?" rejoined the gentleman, im¬ 
patiently, 
“ Don't know," answered the urchin. 
A pupil of the public schools, during his pars¬ 
ing i vi reise,came to the word " with,'' whfeli he 
Imldly duelim.-d "a noun." “You have never 
seen il used it# such," replied the teacher. “ Hilt 
I have though," eoiilldently rotor!oil the young 
hniiefui. " Where?” “ Doesn’t the itibfo say, 
‘ Hind me with seven wlths, and 1 shall be as an¬ 
other man?’" 
The mayor of a county town was questioning 
the boys ufa ragged school, and he asked them 
what, were I he pomps and vanities of this wicked 
world. He asked them one by one, hut they 
could dot lell him. At last a little boy near the 
bottom said: 
“ I know, sir. The mayor and corporation 
going to church, sir.” 
An Irishman, having accidentally broken a 
pane of glass in a window, was making the best 
of time to get out of sight, but unfortunately 
for Put, i lie proprietor sti do a march on him, and 
having sei/.eil him by the collar, exclaimed: 
“ You broke my window, fellow, did you not ?" 
“To be sure I did," said Pal., “ and didn’t, you 
see me running home for money to pay for it ?" 
A FAitMT.it who bad engaged the services of a 
son of the emerald Isle, sent him out one morn¬ 
ing to harrow a piece of ground. He had not 
worked long before nearly all of the teeth came 
out of the barrow. Presently the farmer wont 
out into the Held to fake note* of Pat's progress, 
and asked him how he liked harrowing. "Oh 1" 
replied Pat; "it goes a bit smoother now since 
the pugs are out.” 
This Is related In the Ruifalo Courier: 
Customer (to clerk in u certain hardware store 
on Main street.) -“ Show me a small, low-priced 
shears,” 
Clerk (facetiously.)—“ Perhaps you mean a 
pair of shears.’’ 
Customer (severely.)—" 1 mean precisely w hat 
I said." 
t Merit (defiantly, opening a specimen article,)— 
“Arc there not two blades here, and don't two 
make a pair?" 
Customer (triumphantly.) — “ You lmve two 
legs; does that make youh pair of man?” 
Tiie shears were done up in profound silence. 
CROSS-WORD ENIGMA. No. 11 
M v first is in horse but not in cow, 
My second's in than but not in now: 
My third is in wot but not in dry, 
My r onrtii i* in laugh but not in cry; 
Ty fifth's in November but not. in May, 
My sixth is in clover but not in hay; 
My seventh's in knife but not In fork. 
My whole is a county in the State of New York, 
Willie A. Woodworth. 
Gates, April, 1870. 
S3/“ Answer in two weeks. 
CONVENIENT TO MARKET, DOTH EAST 
AND WEST. 
DESCRIPTIVE PAMPHLETS, WITH ACCOM¬ 
PANYING MAPS, NOW READY. 
Sent Free to All Parts of the United States, 
Canada and Europe. 
ThnSu Land# are a# 
Rich and Fertile as any in the 
United States. 
For Putnphials and Information, address 
<>. V, DAV1H, 
I,n nd Agent It. P. R. R. Co., 
Viiiii lui, Nelirnska. 
A QUESTIONER PUZZLED 
We suppose some Englishmen would 
claim their pronunciation of the name of 
one of our great lakes entirely correct, and 
perhaps a few others would admit, that the 
A should be silent. To one or Hut other of 
these classes the captain must belong of 
whom this little story speaks: 
An ignorant fellow got on board a steamer 
on Lake Huron. Alter standing on the deck 
awhile among the crowd, and seeing the cap¬ 
tain approach, he inquired: 
“ What is the name of this Jake ?” 
“ The Lake Huron.” (The lake you’re on.) 
“ Yes, sir,” replied the man. 
But the captain going no further, the 
stranger said: 
“ Well, what is the name of the lake ?” 
“ Lake Huron,” again answered the cap¬ 
tain. 
“ Want to know what lake I’m on—it’s 
name?” 
“ Well, sir,” said the captain, “ the name 
ol the lake you are on is the Lake Huron. 
Does that satisfy you ?" 
The crowd were now smiling fpiite audi¬ 
bly, and the man walked away, muttering 
to himself: 
“ The lake I’m on is the lake I’m on. That 
is a polite captain, indeed I” 
DECAPITATION. No. 8 
I was embodied centuries ago, 
And walked the earth in purity unstained, 
Then men despised me unwilled me, so. 
Despised by tunny, since, I have remained. 
Behoad me, and 1 was the sweetest typo 
of womanhood the world lias ever known 
In gleaning golden gTain for harvest ripe 
1 won a heart l’or garner of my own i 
Tho Grange, 1870. Berdjsna, 
Y“ Answer in two weeks. 
p O It T A It L 15 STATIC NA It Y 
AGRICULTURAL 
STEAvM ETiTG-IlNrES. 
Equaled by n«tnn in Combined Merit* of Ca¬ 
pacity, Economy, Durability, Sim* 
illicit)' and Perfection. 
Our PORTABLE ENGINE, mounted on l.ocomn- 
tlve nailer, having llru-liox and ash-pit entirely sur¬ 
rounded by water space, l# set upon log* and Um¬ 
ber#; occupies little mom ; nuoila no brick work; la 
suitable for n*e In any place where n power 1# re¬ 
quired— in MUU, Shripx, /'I'lini/Tlf',or I’Hnting Ilooms, 
or in Slack llama, for grinding,cutting ana steam¬ 
ing food for stock. 
The STATIONARY ENGINE 1# complete, With 
Governor Pump and Uniter, with connections fitted. 
The AGRICULTURAL ENGINE, supplied with 
Locomotive I bitter, I* mounted on wheels, with polo 
for attaching horses for moving from place to place; 
Is suitable for Grain Threehing, Corn Shrlting, Wood 
and Shingle Sawing, Ac. 
Circulars, with description and prices, furnished 
ou application to 
IWOOO, TAREK A- MORSE, 
Baton, Madison N. v. 
ANAGRAM. NO. 9 
Hei.df.ii8 itlgh fo vole! 
Doolsbs polio fo rtiiht! 
Thob oar orfm bouvo: 
llobt rea tiudeng touyh. 
Vino dan Pheo our sour ot losbs, 
Gtllinf flic thiw demstenso. 
Althorp. 
t<r/~ Answer in two weeks. 
EDWARD SEARS' 
ENGRAVING ESTABLISHMENT, 
AND 
ELECTR0TVPING, I 1 HINTING. 
ENOCH MORGAN S SONS’ 
PROBLEM. No. 11 
If ten liens and one ben-pen cost ten ten- 
poncc, and ton hen-pens without any hens cost 
ton ton-ponce, bow much will ton lions without 
any lion-pen cost? 
In giving IhiH problem verbally it should be 
spoken in us rapid a manner as possible. 
fVT"Answer in two weeks. Mas. G. B. 
1115 III5ST THING FOIL AGENTS 
CL ICANN, 
POLISHES, 
ANI) IS 
ClfEAI’EII & BETTER 
THAN SOAP. 
Now York. 
A LITTLE OF “ DUNN BROWN ” 
— 
i “Dunn Brown” was the mm de plume 
4 of the ltev. Samuel Fiske, for several years 
( pastor of a Congregational church in Con¬ 
necticut, and a man whoso dry, ready wit 
$ Sparkled forth under all circumstances. 
Ia. When under examination before a council 
y* for ordination, a very orthodox minister, 
who wanted to bring a strong test of the 
5^ soundness of the young man’s theology to 
For MOWER mid REAPER KNIVES, nntl 
nil EDGE TOOLS. It is much superior to this 
GRINDSTONE for nil purposi'S, cuts more than 
twice u# fust, and Is liglil, cheap and durable. 
‘I'll I IT! Send for our rrrii lateral term# to 
E. G. STOKIvE, An hum, N. V, 
Depot, '81 I Washington St., 
PUZZLER ANSWERS, 
A DAY MADE AT HOME! 
tlrisJy new articles for Agents. 
. Address H. B. SHAW, Alfred. 
l/HVir*/> A n HOW MADE FROM 
VI IN EG A R. ESEfiSNR 
<JHUM, in Ten Hours, without using drugs. 
For Circulars, address F. I. SAGE, Vinegar Maker, 
Cromwell, Conn. 
CHARADE No. 8.—Summary. 
Decapitation No. fi.—Pluck—luck. 
Biblical enigma No. 5.—Oursoul waltetli for tho 
Loud, lie is our help and our shield. 
Problem No. 10. Width of drive-way, 9.81208 feet; 
diameter of fountain, 10.27581 feet; height of stump, 
2(5.07472 f cot. 
CUOSS-WOIID ENIGMA NO. 9.— Stratford. 
>AKING, CORING AND SLICING Mi 
l CHINK. Four turns to an apple. Sold at store 
l>. 11. W1IITTKMOKE. M’fT, Worcester, Muss, 
Rir See Rural of March 19, outside page. 
mid Agents In u new business, 
<> NOVELTY CO., Saco, Me. 
