“ A little nonsense now and then 
Ts relished by the wisest men." 
SPARKS AND SPLINTERS 
The Western art critics have an out-spoken 
way about them whicli is the furthest possible 
removed from flattery. One of them lately said 
of a rising young artist:—“He possesses some 
merit as an artist, but it is hard to say whether 
it lies in landscape or marine painting; you 
never can tell his cowb from his ships, except 
when they have tlielr tail* exalted, when the 
absence of spars betrays tlielr real character. 
Even then they may bo mistuken for schooners 
scudding under bare poles.” 
“ Now, then, Joseph, parse courting," said a 
teacher to a rather slow boy. “Courtin’ is an 
irregular, active, transitive verb, indicative 
mood, present tense, third person, singular 
number and so on,” said Joseph. “ Well, but 
what does it agree with ?" demanded the 
teacher. “ It agrees with all the gals in town I" 
triumphantly exclaimed Joseph. 
A Vermont poet, describing Hunker Hill, 
does up Gen. Warren in this way ; 
Upon his awful slumlder 
He took his blunderbuss, 
An’ho was thar at Bunker Ilill 
lu the thickest of the muss. 
JOSH Billings say#: “ The live man iz like 
a little pig; lie iz weaned young and begins to 
root early. He iz the peppersass ov creation 
the allspice ov the world. One live man in a 
village iz like a case ov the itch in a dlstrik 
school, he sets everybody scratching at oust. 
It is not our fault that we arered»headed and 
small, and the next time one of those overgrown 
rural roosters in a ball-room reaches down for 
our head, and suggests that some fellow has 
lost a rose-bud out of his button-hole, there 
will be trouble. - Milwaukee Sentinel. 
A romantic miss In York, Ill., recently went 
out to Maud Mullorizo and “ rake the meadows 
sweet with hay." She stood over a yellow 
jacket’s nest as she swung her llttlo rake. First 
jump, eleven feet. Distance to t he house, half 
a mile. Time, two minutes. 
A Chic. too man thinks that the Indians 
ought to be exterminated because, after all 
William Penn’s kindness to them, “ they wont 
and made him stand up one day and shoot an 
apple off his little boy’s iiead with an arrow.” 
IN days gone by, the darling girls 
Wore high-necked dressos. natural curls— 
Loved flannel cakes und honey; 
But now the dresses are Quite low, 
False hao‘ round their shoulders flow, 
Their only love Is—money. 
“ Mother,” said a little urchin when became 
home, “I have heard such a smart preacher. 
He stamped and made sucli a noise, and t hen 
he got mad ; he shaok his list at the folks, and 
there wasn’t anybody dared go up and fight 
him.” 
A lady wants to know what is the meaning 
of "ante" and “pass the buck?” Her matri¬ 
monial companion uses H in his dreams, and 
she is afraid it indicates typhoid fever. 
An Illinois editor returns thanks for a centi¬ 
pede sent to him by mail from Texas, "it be¬ 
ing,” he says, “the first cent of any kind that 
we’ve received for several weeks.” 
“ My notion of a wife at forty,” said Douglas 
,leroId,“ls that a man should be aide to change 
her, like a bank note, for two twenties.” 
In Montana, when an editor is crowded for 
room, he announces:—“A number of deaths 
are unavoidably postponed.” 
“ I have lost flesh,” said a toper to his com¬ 
panion. “No great loss was the reply, “since 
you made it up in spirits. 
“ Sacred to t he memory of three twins ” is 
the inscription over the grave of triplets in 
New Hampshire. 
Naturalists claim that the crow is one of 
the bravest ot birds, because it never shows the 
white feather. 
“ Moonlight mechanics ” is the name which 
the Albany Journal applies to burglars. 
People who must draw the line somewhere 
Anglers. 
LIFE AND ACCIDENT 
General Accident Policies for the year or 
month, written by Agents. 
Life and Endowment Insurance of the best 
formB at Low Cash Hates. 
THE TRAVELERS 
“TRIALS OF SPEED,” UXTOX IR,AOIKTGf-. 
“These ‘Trials of Speed’ are to encourage the raising of fine horses, and have no 
other object. They are not races.” 
Hus been tor ten years Ln successful business: has 
written 325,OCO General Accident Policies, and 20,000 
Life Policies; Its security is unquestioned, its con¬ 
tract definite. Its premiums low; has promptly paid 
over twenty thousand claims of policy holders for 
death or Injury by accident : and sells Insurance, 
either Life or Accident, or both comnined, of the 
Best Quality, upon the Best Plan, and on the Best 
Terms. 
(CIRCULAR.) 
Consumers Importing Tea Co., 
No. 8 Church Street, 
1*. O. Box 5.509. New York City. 
The MASON A HAMLIN ORGAN CO., winners 
of TWO HIGHEST MEDALS and DIPLOMA OF 
HONOR, at PARIS, 1861, VIENNA, 1878, respectfully 
announce tliut thoy now offer their celebrated Cabi¬ 
net Organs not only exclusl roly for cash, as formerly, 
but also on different plans of easy payments which, 
It is believed, afford purchasers unprecedented in¬ 
ducements, Characteristics of these plans are: 
1, Opportunity to try an onjan six months or lonyer 
to.tore concluding to pu rchase It . This may be done at 
cost of only a reasonable rent for the time the organ 
is used. 
2. Time to make payments, varying to suit the con¬ 
venience of purchasers. An organ may be obtained 
by a first payment of less than ten dollars, with pay¬ 
ments monthly, quarterly or at other Intervals ex¬ 
tending through one to four years. 
". Tin affording time accommodations at the lowest 
possible remunerative rate to the Company. An organ 
though taken with privilege of return, If purchased 
and the payment for It made ivithiu one year, costs 
the purchaser only live to ten per cent, more than 
the lowest price for which sued an orgun could be 
Obtained for by payment of all cash. 
Many dealers say that such terms cannot possibly 
be afforded. The Mason & Hamlin Co., knowing the 
quality of their work, and having ample experience 
fo assure them uf the satisfaction their organs give 
In use, are contldent that very few will be returned, 
and thatthfs will make even such low and favorable 
terms remunerative to them. 
Organs can be furnished through agents, or direct¬ 
ly, to almost any pait of the country on these terms. 
Illustrated Catalogues, Terms and Prices, with all 
particulars, sent free. Address 
MASON A HAMLIN OICG A N CO., 
BOSTON, NEW YORK, or CHICAGO. 
J AS. G. HATTEKSON, President. 
RODNEY DENNIS, Secretary. 
John E. Morris, Ass’t Secretary. 
SW Apply to any Agent, or write to the Company 
New York Office, 207 Broadway. 
This Is n combination of capitalists to supply the 
consumers of Teas throughout the United States on 
the mutual principle. 
We have experienced agents in all the best dis¬ 
tricts of China und Japan to select Teas especially 
for our trade. 
Wo expect every consumer of Teas 'o render us all 
the assistance they can in carrying out our enter¬ 
prise, as we make a specialty of SUPPLYING CON- 
SUM Kits ONLY (and allow no middlemen to make 
any profit on our Importations), wnich will enable 
us to supply them with Teas at prices lower than 
have ever beeu known, and ot those tine qualities 
Jut seldom reach the Interior, being sold only to 
the large cities and among the very wealthy. 
Hoping the consumer will take an interest In our 
enterprise, and send at once for a circular with full 
explanutious of how to proceed to obtaiu our goods, 
we remain, 
Most respectfully yours, 
(onsuincrs Importing Tea Co., 
No. S Church St., 
P. O. Box 5,509. New York City. 
Entered, according to Act of Congress, in January, 
1874, by the Consumers Importing Tea Co., in the 
Office of the Librarian of Congress, Washmgton, D. C. 
CALKINS’ 
Champion Washer 
SOLI* IN TWO YF.AU8. 
Medal awarded at N. Y. Stan- Fair, 1871. 
— First Premium at Western N. V. Fair, 
1874.— Special Medal of I lunar, Pa. State 
Fair, 18/4,-1’J Mam Fair Premiums taken 
the pnst year.- We wnut I ANVJm4ERs aad 
AGENTS lu everv town nud neighborhood 
in the East.—Almost every family will hoy 
It, after SEEING IT IN USE. Seud for De¬ 
scriptive Circulars and Terms tu Canvass¬ 
ers. 
CALKINS' CHAMPION WASHER CO., 
I OH Chambers St., New York, 
and -J07 South Clark St., Chicago, III. 
Pratt’s Astral Oil! 
Absolutely SAFE ! 
Perfec tly Odorless ! 
Always Uniform. illuminating Qualities 
SUX»hJH.IOR. ‘X*0 GAS. 
CUAS. Pit ATT & CO., 
Established WO. 108 Fulton St., New York. 
X>. H. A. C.-OIVJd. 
INVALUABLE FOR HORSES OUT OF CONDITION, 
and when In condition will Invariably keep them so. 
Farmers and Stock-breeders look to your interests. 
Put up in packages of 1 lb. Price, $1. 
Forwarded tu any pari of the country, upon the re¬ 
ceipt of $1.12, 
BUDD DOBLE, 1424 South Pena Square, Phllada, 
need not be told that the old original 
GREAT REDUCTION. 
TEAS AND COFFEES 
AT WHOLESALE PRICES. 
Increased Facilities to Club Organizer*. 
Send for New Price List. 
THEGREATAMERICANTEACO. 
P. 0. Box 5643. 3i & 33 Vesey St., New York 
maintains the same splendid reputation which was 
freely accorded to It when first presented for criti¬ 
cism at the 
Paris Exposition of 1867. 
All who have tried this most simple, capable and 
durable 
ALLEN’S 
AMERICAN CATTLE 
endorse the merit claimed for it by the manufact¬ 
urers. 
All classes of people, and every variety of stitch¬ 
ing, bear witness that it has no equal. 
The Awards at Vienna in 1873 
to the Weed Sewing Machine Company surpassed 
those to any other exhibitor of Sewing Machines. 
The Patron* of Husbandry and the Sovereigns 
of Industry are among our staunchest friends. 
No one cun ulford to buy a Sewing Machine with¬ 
out first examining The Favorites. 
Manufactory at Hartford, Conn, 
THEIR HISTORY, BREEDING AND 
MANAGEMENT. 
A thorough knowledge of Telegraphing, Book¬ 
keeping, Ac., taught by practical operutnr. Time 
unlimited. No vacation. Lady and Gentlemen Stu¬ 
dents may enter any time. Terms. Ac., on entirely 
new plan. Seud stamp for Circular. 
Address A. G. FOX, Manager, 
Lock Box 14b Auburn, N. Y. 
Evert breeder or owner of Cattle should have this 
work by Hon. Lewis F. Allen, Kx-Prest. N. Y. state 
Ag. Society, Editor of "American Short-Horn Herd 
Book,” Ac.. Ac. It 1e » handsomely illustrated and 
well printed and bound volume of 523 duodecimo 
pages. Mailed, post-puid, to any address in United 
States or Canada on recy.pt of reduced price, $2. 
Address 
O, D. T. MdflKE, 
7S Dunne »t., N. Y. 
GEO. A. PRINCE & CO., 
Organs & ittclodcons 
The Oldest, Largest and Most Perfect Manufactory 
in the United States. 
Moore’s Rural New-Yorker Is neither dead 
nor asleep, but still goes forth on Its weekly visits to 
interest, instruct und amuse tw many thousands of 
subscribers, as It has done during the puat twenty- 
lout years, with Its notes and essays on ogri-szlture, 
horticulture, gardening, floriculture, and general 
science , its new*, stories, pussies, jutes, etc., suited 
to the tastes und necessities of young and old, of all 
grades In society,— LcJtoy Gaiette. 
The prospectus ot Moore's Bubal Njcw-YoRkER, 
one of the best 11 term y, Imitlcullurul und agricul¬ 
tural Journals published in this or any other coun- 
tay, Is Inserted m another column. The merits of 
this excellent Weekly, as set forth In the advertise¬ 
ment, are not exaggerated. Indeed, the paper pos¬ 
sesses numerous admirable qualities which the tal¬ 
ented publisher does not mention,—Fork Pennsylva¬ 
nian. 
A. Vegetable Manual, Prepared wltlx 
a view to Economy and Pi oilt. 
MOORE’S RURAL NEW-YORKER. — With its full 
corps of editors, and u new publisher of energy and 
ahlflty, the management propose to celebrate the 
quarter-centennial of the pioneer Rural lb suen a 
manner as to augmout Its popularity and usefume* 8 - 
For a first-class, liw y paper, containing matter oi 
Interest for all classes, take the RURAL NEW-YORK¬ 
ER, and do so at once, for the paper never was bet¬ 
ter, and its prospects uever brighter.—F. c sport ■ju.) 
Journal. 
Moore’s Rural New-Youker.-T1ih king of Ag¬ 
ricultural papers has entered upon its twenty-nun 
year, under the most fuvoruble auspices. It Is the 
determination of its publishers to furnish a brighter 
and better paper than ever. In style, type, matter 
and editorial ability, there Is no paper of Its kina 
that at all compares with It.—Trempealeau (Vru.f 
This Work upon Kitchen and Market Gardening 
and the Field Culture of Root Crops, u by P. T. 
Quinn, Practical Horticulturist, (Author of “ Pear 
Culture for Profit,”) and should be owned and studied 
by every one interested in Gardening, It ts an able, 
practical, profusely Illustrated work of 268 12mo. 
pages. Bent, post-paid, for 71,56. Address 
D. D. T. MOORE, Publisher. 
78 Duane St., New York. 
Now in use. 
No other Musical Instrument ever obtained the 
same Popularity. 
Send for Price-Lists. 
Address BUFFALO, N. Y. 
