tStit and §umor. 
“ A little nonsense now and then, 
Is relished by the wisest men." 
SPARKS AND SPLINTERS. 
Tite lavr Is always offered at cost. 
The host size for a man—exercise. 
Even the laziest boy can catch a licking. 
The head man In France Is the gulllotlnlst. 
A m\T to cigar makers—gives us a “Spur¬ 
geon " brand. 
Anvrcr. to persons in search of employment 
Westward hoe! 
The prime-evil forest was situated In the 
Garden of Eden. 
“ Sweet are the uses of adversity.” We don’t 
like sweet things. 
Sulphur comes from Vesuvius:—therefore It 
is good for eruptions. 
Witen you write a letter—on the whole, how¬ 
ever, don't write n letter. 
Autemus Ward said of Chaucer, “He has 
talent, but he can't spell." 
When a lady faints what figure does she 
need ? You must briog her 2. 
While we speak of the silence of sleep, the 
slumber of most of us Is sound. 
What’s In n name? “ Swears & Dams ” Is the 
sign of a legal firm in St. Louis. 
A man who chews tobacco finds difficulty 
when he cornea to choose a wife. 
Young ruen are often so Improvident that 
they can keep nothing but late hours. 
Now is a good time to buy a thermometer. 
They are lower than they have been since last 
winter. 
A pa ws lawyer lately onught the small-pox 
of his inamorata. She having pitted him, mar¬ 
ried biin. 
A m an in Cincinnati, advertising for a situa¬ 
tion, says:—“ Work is not so much an object as 
good wages." 
A Maine man ts out with a temperance lecture 
the taking title of which is, “ How Goliah was 
killed with a Sling." 
Genius is certain to be recognized, sooner or 
later. Experienced riders of race horses, for 
instance, get $500 a month. 
A viNEOAR-hearted old bachelor says he 
always looks under the head of "Marriages” 
for the news of the weak. 
There is a man In Chicago who Jigs lived with 
one wife ten years without a hurah word ora 
saucepan ever having passed between them. 
Henry the IV. was being addressed by several 
deputies, when an ass began to bray “Softly, 
softly, gentlemen, one at a time, If you please." 
What’s in a name? Col. Gabe Houck, of 
Oshkosh, is a candidate for Congress in Wiscon¬ 
sin. His opponent is Gen. Stagg Shooter of 
Outagamie. 
Next to music, nothing so powerfully tends 
to soothe the savage breast as to see the young 
man who parts his hair in the middle shoving a 
baby wagon, 
“Just keeping it lighted for another boy,” 
Is the lates t juvenile Invention when a mother 
comes suddenly upon her little boy with a cigar 
in his month. 
It is probably a regard for the feelings of 
nineteen or twenty wives, more or less, that in¬ 
duces Brigham Young to postpone his farewell 
to mundane things. 
“ Well, Pal, Jim didn’t quite kill you with 
tiie brickbat, did he?" “No; but I wish he 
had. “ V by so.’ “ So that I could have seen 
him hung, the villain.” 
“My hand is not a lomon, nor my lips deer 
moat, as the young lady said to her esoort 
when they parted at the door the other night. 
Why did she Bpeak thusly? 
“ Do you got whipped at school now ?" asked 
a mother of a young hopeful who had recently 
changed his place of Instruction. “ No, mother, 
T have a better teacher and I’m a better boy.” 
BrioHam Young has Just been refused by a 
transient lady, whom he asked to become Mrs 
Young No. 78. She said she was small, and 
dido t like to t.alco her chances among so many 
jealous women. 
And now Joseph Arch’s daughter has taken 
to lecturing. Most ludieB do this after marriage 
Miss Arch starts before, and so is compelled "to 
lecture the public Instead of a husband. Some 
fellow is in luck. 
A rich hut parsimonious old gentleman, on 
being taken to task for his uncharitableness ‘ 
said, “True 1 don’t give much, but if y OU only 
know bow it hurts when 1 give anything, vou 
wouldt.’ tjwon cl er. ’' 
“I DON’T KNOW" Is the name of an Erie canal 
boat. When at the locks near Syracuse her 
captain was called bad names because In 
answer to a question, lie gave the querist'the 
appellation of his craft. 
SOME men are born to misfortune. At a pic- 1 
Die a Covington Chap got his eye punched for 1 
speaking to another fellow’s girl, and when he ! 
tearfully explained that he’d “knowed her 1 
tli esc thirty-five years,” he got his hair pulled ' 
out. 
□ (n' 
(VI,) 
:ggg : \ 
ohia.se for greased PIG. 
TD’D TTH/T A TW JCt 1 TT*> TTTI T~> viiviuuiij iuuumivuojiio 
X XvXiXilTXxxi.^1 Ou J3 U JXlt> us a ho hi. 
7 NEW YOltK. 
T^REEMAN & BURR, availing themselves of the unusual advantages offered by 
-* the great depression in trade and decline in prices in replenishing stock, open the 
season with a very much LARGER STOCK than ever before, and are selling at corre¬ 
sponding LOW PRICES. 
spondlng LOW PRICES. 
Suits, $10, 0 . 
Suits, 20. 
Suits, 25. 
Suits, 30. $ 5 , $1 
Suits, 40. 
Suits, 
Suits, 60. ^ 
• To Order or Ready-Made, 
r/*/). Ulsters, Sacks, A q 
* c o 4rs 
$ 5 , $ 8 , $ 10 , $ 12 , $ 15 , $ 20 , $ 30 , $40 
For Boys, 
For Boys, V 
S3, 85, 810, 815, 830, 
To Order or Itcady-.Uude. 
GREAT REDUCTION. 
TEAS AND COFFEES 
AT WHOLESALE PRICES. 
Increased Facilities to Ulub Organizers. 
Send for New Price List. 
THE OREAT AMERICAN TEA CO. 
P. 0. Box 5043. 3i & 33 Vesey St., New York 
AUBURN TELEGRAPH SCHOOL! 
A thorough knowledge of Telegraphing, Book¬ 
keeping, Ac., taught by practical operator. Time 
unlimited. No vacation. Lao v and Gentlemen Stu¬ 
dents may enter any time. Terms. Ac., on entirely 
new plan. Send stamp for Circular. 
Address A. U. FOX, Manager. 
Lock Box 14a Auburn, N. Y. 
Clarkes 
New Method 4 $ Piano-Forte. 
Endorsed by the Musical, Educational and 
general Press, and by Good Teachers, to be 
Beyond all Comparison the Best 
to be had at Book and Music stores. 
Sent by Mail, Price, $3.75. 
LE E & WALKER, }“aSSES.**- 
THE PEOPLE’S 
(CIRCULAR.) 
Consumers Importing Tea Co., ) 
No, 8 Churcli Street, r 
P. O. Box 5,509, New York City. ) 
This Is a combination of capitalists to supply the 
consumers of Teas throughout the Uuited States on 
the mutual principle. 
Wo have experienced agents in all the best dis¬ 
tricts of China and Japan to select Teas especially 
for our trade. 
We expect every consumer ol Teas to render us all 
the assistance they cap in carrying out our enter¬ 
prise, as we make a specialty of SUPPLYING CON¬ 
SUMERS ONLY (uud allow no middlemen to make 
any profit on our Importations), wnich will enable 
us to supply them with Tea9 at prices lower than 
have ever been known, and of those tine qualities 
Jut seldom reach the Interior, being sold only to 
the large cities and among the very wealthy. 
Hoping the consumer will take an interest in our 
enterprise, and send at once for a circular with full 
explanations of how to proceed to obtain our goods, 
we remain. 
Most respectfully yours, 
Consumers Importing Tea Co., 
No. 8 Church St., 
P, O. Box 5,509. New York City. 
Entered, according to A cl of Congress, in J anuary, 
1874, by the Consumers Importing Tea Co., in the 
Office ol the Librarian of Congress, Washnigton, D. C. 
Boys’ Suits, $5. 
1 Boys’ Suits, 8 . 
Boys’ Suits, 10. 
Boys’ Suits, 12. 
Boys’ Suits, 15. 
Boys’ Suits, 20. 
Boys’ Suits, 25. 
P0IIMTDV ( ORDERS BY LETTER promptly filled. Ouk Nkw HyStkm fob Self-Measure 
LiULMl I M I i ' J of which thousands avail themselves. enables parties in all parts of thn country to 
J order direct from us, with theeerlalniv of receiving the most I'ERlFECT FIT ATTAIN- 
«« nn 1 A HUE. 
nRrlFRx ! !■? ULKH FOR 8KLF-MKASL’RE, Samples of Goods, Book of Fashions ana Prices, 
U IIU Lilt). v It/ SENT Fit Ef on application. 
GEO. A. PRINCE & CO., 
Organs & Mclodcons. 
The Oldest, Largest and Most Perfect Manufactory 
in the United States. 
54,000 
Now in use. 
No other Musical Instrument ever obtained tho 
same Popularity. 
S3T Send for Price-Lists. 
Address BUFFALO, N. Y. 
THE PUBLIC 
need not be told that the old original 
Family Favorite 
maintains the same splendid reputation which was 
freely accorded to It when first presented for criti¬ 
cism at the 
Paris Exposition of 1867. 
All who have tried this most simple, capable and 
durable 
SEWING MACHINE, 
endorse the merit claimed for It by the manufact¬ 
urers. 
All classes of people, and every variety of stitch- 
lDg, bear witness that It has no equal. 
The Awards at Vienna in 1873 
to the Weed Sewing Machine Company surpassed 
those to any other exhibitor of Sewing Machines. 
The Put rone ol Ilu him miry and the Sovereigns 
of IudiiMtry are among our staunchest friends. 
No one can afford to hny a Sowing Machine with¬ 
out first examining The Favorites. 
Manufactory at Hartford, Conn, 
PUBLISHER’S SPECIAL NOTICES. 
Back Volumes ol the Itarnl New-Yorker, 
handsomely and substantially bound, are promptly 
furnished. The eight Semi-Annual Volumes, Issued 
since Jan. 1,1870, (each containing 410 puges and sev¬ 
eral hundred Illustrations,) will be delivered at our 
Office, or sent by Express or as Freight, subject to 
charge*, for flH, or any one of them for #2.60. Vol¬ 
ume XX, for ISOS, containing 829 pages and over 8U0 
illustrations. 44. 
Club Agent* who cannot act for the Rural du¬ 
ring the ensuing year, will confer a special favor by 
inducing some active, wide-awake and influential 
friend to do so—notifying us of the fact. Extra 
documents—Premium Lists, Show Bills, Ac.,—will he 
sent to all such new Agents, and Indeed to all dis¬ 
posed to do a Little Good Work for a Purge Reward. 
■ ... 
The Beat Paper, and the Dost Premiums to 
Agents, Is our motto. Wo Ignore Cbromos and all 
other obeap colored picture.., preferring to put our 
money in the paper, and in Premiums to Agents. 
RANDALL’S 
Practica l She pherd 
A COMPLETE TREATISE 
ON THE BREEDING, MANAGEMENT 
AND DISEASES OF SHEEP. 
This Work, by the non. Uknby B. Randall, 
LL. D., (author of ** Sheep Husbandry In the South,” 
* Fine Wool Sheep Husbandry,” Jtc.,) is the Stand¬ 
ard Authority on the Subject. It is the most com¬ 
plete and reliable Treatise on American Sheep Hus¬ 
bandry ever published, and (us the New England 
Farmer says) “ should be In the hand and head of 
every person owning sheep.” 
The Phactical Shepherd contains 462 pages, and 
is illustrated, printed and bound In superior style. 
Twenty-seventh Edition nww ready. Sent by mail 
post-paid, on reoelpt of price—12. Address 
RURAL PUBLISHING CO., 
7S Duuno St., New York. 
MooRE’fl Rural ni:w- York ku.—S ee advertise¬ 
ment of this celebrated Agricultural paper in an¬ 
other column, Mr. Moore has had sumo financial 
difficulty outside of his paper, but not so bud but 
what h« will be able to furnish the best Agricultural 
paper In the country. Give him a lift, you farmers, 
for whom lie hits done so much in ycur* past. He 
Ma i i i m t « a a m i'^i'v* »•» o »uuu j , vj i > r iimii n ait* ywu mruiviOf 
LJvrt TT- n A I (l-l I forwhoro lio has done so much in year* past. He 
•XT I dub S xlo LI dl U1 1 ■ deserves your support mnv, and let him have It with 
v • u liberal hand, uml he will give Ton a paper well 
PRACTICAL POULTRY BOOK. 
A Work on the Breeding, Rear¬ 
ing, Care and General Man¬ 
age m e nt_of_p 0 u I try. 
BT WILLIAM M. LEWIS. 
1 his Is one of the finest uoiten-uo works on the 
subject on whtoh It treats, for Its site and pries of 
any publication of the kind in this country It i« 
finely and profusely Illustrated, and printed and 
bound in extra style. Contains 224 large octavo 
pages. Sent, by mall, post-paid, for #1.60. Address 
D. D. T. MOORE, Publisher, 
tH Duaue Si., New Isrk, 
Absolutely SAFE ! 
Perfec tly Odorless ! 
Always Uniform. Illuminating Qualities 
SUPERIOR TO GrAS. 
CHAS. PRATT & CO., 
Established 1770. 10S Fulrou *>t„ New Y r ork. 
Budd Dohle’s Condition Powders. 
r>. H. 2k. C.-ONB. 
INVALUABLE FOR HORSES OUT OF CONDITION, 
and when in condition will invariably keep them so. 
Farmers aud Stock-breeders look to roar Interests. 
Pat up In packages Of 1 lb. Price, $1. 
Forwarded to uny part of the country, upon the re¬ 
ceipt of #1.12. 
SUDD DOBLE, 1421 south Penn Square, Philada. 
worth tliomnnoy.— Cattarawjue (.V. JT.) Chronicle. 
Moore's rural New-Yorker.— With its full 
corps of editors, uud a nuw publisher of energy nnd 
ability, the management propone to celebrate the 
quurter-centoriniai of the pioneer Rural in such a 
manner us to augment its popularity and usefulness. 
Fora first-class, lively paper, containing matter of 
interest for all Glasses, take the Rural nkw-YorK- 
KR, and do so at once, for the paper uever was bet¬ 
ter, and Its prospect* never brighter.— E report tiff.) 
Journal. 
Moons'# Rural New-Yorker.— 1 This king of Ag- 
rlctuturul paper* has entered upon Its twenty-fifth 
year, under tiie most favorablo auspices. It Is the 
dotcrminatlon of Its publishers to furnish u brighter 
and better paper than ever. In style, tvpe. matter 
and editorin. bility, there is no paper of its kind 
that at all compares with it .—Trempealeau tll'i/.) 
Republican. 
Moore’s rural Xx’.v-Y orker Is one of the read¬ 
able, useful, family papers, equally In demand by 
the lady in her conservatory, the matron with her 
household, the farmer in his field, the 6tock raiser 
among his animals, at d the young tulles around the 
evening lamp. -Lane of Life. 
