THE PUZZLED CENSUS-TAKER 
“Got any boy*?" the Marshal said 
To a lady from over the Rhine ; 
And the lady shook her flaxen head. 
And civilly uiinwcrod “ Nine!” 
" Got any girls?’’ the Marshal said 
To the lady from over the Rhine ; 
And again the lady shook her heud, 
And civilly answered, "Nine!" 
" Husband, of course ?" tlie Marshal said 
To the lady from over the Rhine; 
And again she shook her flaxen head, 
And civilly answered, '‘Nine!” 
"The deuce you hove"' the Marshal said 
To the ludy from over the Rhine; 
And again she shook her flaxen head, 
And civilly answered, “ Nine}" 
" Now what do you Oicun by shaking your head 
And always answering * Xine 1' ” 
"Id i ferula niclil Enylish civilly said 
T ie ludy from over the Rhine. 
[John U. Saxe. 
»)OD SEMI-ANNUAL STATEMENT OF THE 
LL Tit a viclicics msiJUANCii < <>. 
HARTFORD, COX.v., January 1, 1875. 
ASSISTS. 
Heal Estate owned by the Company.$ 78,801 21 
Cash on hand and In Bank.. 113 401 84 
Cush In hands of Agents . 71,1)02 09 
Loans on First Mortgages Real Estate.1JV|R,0S1 so 
Deferred Premiums. 82,9117 70 
Accrued Interest. 56.930 11 
United States Government. Bonds. 388,loo 00 
State and Municipal Ronds . . 118.870 00 
Railroad Stocks mid Ronds. 171 no 00 
Bank and Insurance Stocks. 198,093 00 
Total assets. 83,788,240 78 
LIABILITIES. 
Reserve for re-lnsuranee. Acc. Departro’t.f 172.839 77 
Reserve, N. Y. standard, Life Department. 1,755,280 66 
Claims unadjusted and not due, and all 
ol her liabilities. 171,996 96 
Total liabilities. $2,103,117 29 
Surplus, us regards policy-holder) ..S1,085,123 40 
Surplus as above, on four per ct. reserve...$900,799 11 
8PARK8 AND SPLINTERS, 
Thu meanest man in the world is the fellow 
who knows where Charlie Ross is and will not 
tell. 
What Is the difference between fixed stars 
and shooting stars Y The first are “suns,” the 
second, “darters." 
A good test of a young man's strength of 
character la to have him stay in his own town 
while ho rulses a moustache. 
Mercy Consolation Smith, is Fort Wayne’s 
handsomest girl. Mercy will no doubt be a 
Consolation to some fellow. 
A young lady says she longs for fingers like 
the prongs of a pitchfork, with diamond rings 
enough to fill them to the ends. 
HARD times make soft hearts. If it were not 
bo how empty life would be of happiness, and 
the importunate stomueh of victual)-1 
Mrs. Partington, reading of the strike of 
the wire drawer.-), remarked“ Ah, me! what 
new tangled things won't they wear next?” 
Don’t eat or drink too much on the first, 
keep your nose out of trouble, and behave 
yourself generally, and heaven will bless yon. 
A father at Dubuque makes his children 
address him us .follows, for Instance “ Most 
respected and revered futher, I’ll take another 
later.” 
How true, as Dr. Johnson says, that “every 
man endeavors with his utmost care to hide 
his poverty from others and his idleness from 
himself." 
This advertiser has “ the bird in the hand ” in 
his regular trade; his newspaper announce¬ 
ments give him also a fair chance for the “two 
In the bush.” 
A merchant not over conversant with geo¬ 
graphy, on hearing that one of his vessels was 
in Jeopardy, exclaimed, ‘ Jeopardy, jeopardy, 
where's that ?" 
When a young man In Charleston, S. C., 
saves the daughter of a millionaire from drown¬ 
ing, lie is presented with a pair of kip boots 
having red tops. 
“You're a fraud,” is a favorite expression 
with some young ladles. Well, nine times out 
of ten they’re correct, aud il they look in the 
Klas3 they'll see another. 
" D • you know why you are like the third 
term?” said Susan Jane to her brother, who ( 
lingered to talk with her Adolphus after the 
old folks had retired. " No l don’t." “Well,” 
replied his saccharine sister, “It’s because 
you're one too many.” 
While T. D. Jones w'asln Columbus modeling 
his bust of Chase, a young man of the Sparkler 
order of architects, approached hime one night 
at a social gathering with the following Inquiry : 
“Er-or—say! er-er so you’re the man-er—that 
makes mud heads, ain’t you ?" “ Yes,” said old 
Tom, blandly ; “ do you want a new one?” 
Statistics of tlic Year 1874. 
Life department. 
Number of Life Policies written in 1874.2,738 
Gain over ista In N. w Policies written.. 277 
Net Gam in amount inaored.. 31,421,320 OO 
Net Gain on Ltfo Policies In fore*. 878 
Whole number written to date... .20.JSSI2 
Gain in Net Premium* over 1873 . 840,052 08 
Whole number of Life Policies in lon e.9,830 
Total amount Insured.817,072,003 00 
Accident Department. 
Number of Accident. Policies written in ’74. 33,355 
Not flash Premium- ree’U for same...*482,2x2 74 
Whole number Accident Policies written. .330,224 
Number, f Claims lui.l In 1874. ..... 2.044 
Whole number of Accident Claims Paid. >1 1 ,(,«>* 
Whole amount Aec’t Claims Paid. SI ,085.310 52 
Total Low* ibud, both Dep’ts.02,011,718 54 
This POPULAR Joltrnal, long the Standard in Its Sphere, entered upon Its Twknty-Sixth Y’ear 
( and second Quarter of u Century 1 January 2nd, under such auspices as will enable Its Founder and 
Conductor and his Associates to mm I feat more fully than ever before the true Bplrit of its glorious 
Motto, “ !■'. 1 ' ■I’hiur," und laudable Objects, " Progress and Improvement." The constant aim will be to 
mon than maintain Its well-earned position as the 
On all subjects pert linln t to .1 jr ica-tlme, Horticulture, Domestic Afaira, and kindred topics, Moore’s 
Rural lias been the RECOGNizim Authority for a score of years, during which it has become the 
Loadin ' and Largest Circulating Rural, literary and Family Weekly on the Continent. To sus¬ 
tain und ivugutL-ut this pre-eminence neither labor nor expense will be spared, but every proper eflort put 
forth to furnish it Miidki. Paper for the Kura l Population— one especially adapted to the wants of 
JAS. G. BATTEHSON, President 
RODNEY DENNIS, Secretary. 
JOHN K. MORRIS, Ass’t Secretary. 
New York Office, 207 Broadway. 
SEED POTATOES 
But in addition to its attention to Practical Affairs, the RURAL is not unmindful of the Family 
Circle, for it devotes several pages of each number to Choice and High Toned Literary and Miscellaneous 
lUutliny, adapted to both sexes and sill ages. This feature lias given it a high reputation, all over the land, 
AS A LITERARY AND FAMILY PAPER 
The moral tone nl Moore’s Rural has always been pure amt unexceptionable, while its value us 
an Educator is worth many times its cost to any family. During 1875 special effort will be made to 
render the whole paper brighter and bitter than ever before, so that its old friends shall be 
proud of It and thousands of new ones become its ardent admirers. 
THE III!BA I,’8 ILLUSTRATIONS will continue to be Appropriate, Varied and Beautiful. 
Indeed, our object Is to render the paper exceptionally Valuable and Acceptable lu all Its Departments. 
Its Reports of Markets. Crops, Etc., are alone worth double the price of the Rural, 
Each Number of the Rural N i:\v-Yurkkr contains Sixteen Quarto Hugos, handsomely Printed and Il¬ 
lustrated. A Title Page and Index given at the close of each Volume, ending with June unci December. 
TEU.7IS, lu Advance, Pastime Prepaidt—Only $2,115 per Yeur, including Postage, which we 
krepay under the new law. In clubs of leu or more only $2.15 per yearly copy. Including postage. 
Great Inducements to Club Agents, Premium Lists, Specimens, &c., sent to all disposed to act in 
behalf of the Rural and Its Objects. Address 
MOORE S RURAL MEW YORKER, New York City. 
OUR ILLUSTRATED AND DESCRIP¬ 
TIVE CATALOGUE OF POTATOES, which 
contains re list of several new varieties to be offered 
by us the coming season, together with the many 
populur varieties heretofore Introduced by us and 
others, with the Report of the Committee awarding 
the Premiums offered by us last Spring, und the 
modes uf culture adopted by the successful com¬ 
petitors, with mueb other valuable information on 
the culture of the potato, is now in press, and will 
be mailed to all applicants Inclosing stamp for re¬ 
turn i«ostage. B. K. BLI 88 & SONS, 
34 Barclay Sr., New York. 
P. (i. Box No. 5,712. 
GREAT REDUCTION. 
TEAS AND COFFEES 
AT WHOLESALE PRICES, 
(CIRCULAR.) 
Consumers Importing Tea Co., 
No. 8 Church Street. 
P. O. Box 5,509. New York City. 
Iucrenaed Knell I lien to Club Organizers. 
Send for New Price List. 
THE GREAT AMERICAN TEACO. 
P. 0. Box rim. 3 1 & S3 Vesey 8t„ New York 
This is a combination of capitalists to supply the 
consumers of Teas throughout the United States on 
the mutual principle. 
We have experienced agents in all the best dis¬ 
tricts of China and Japan to select Teas especially 
for our trade. 
We expoet every consumer of Teas *0 render us all 
the assistance they cun lu currying out our eater- 
pr se, us wc make a specialty of SUPPLYING CON¬ 
SUMERS ONLY (and allow no middlemen to rnuke 
any profit on our importations), wjiich will enable 
us to supply them with Teas at prices lower than 
have ever been known, and of those fine qualities 
.hrt seldom reach the Interior, being sold only to 
the large cities und among the very wealthy. 
Hoping the consumer will take an interest in our 
enterprise, and send at once for a circular with full 
explanations of how to proceed to obtain our goods, 
we remuln. 
Most respectfully yours, 
Consumers Importing: Tea Co., 
No. 8 Church St., 
P. O. Box 5,509. New York City. 
Entered, according to Act of Congress,in January, 
1874, by the Consumers Importing Tea Co., In the 
Otllceof the Librarian of Congress, Washington, D. C 
need not be told that the old original 
GEO. A. PRINCE & CO., 
Organs A Mclodeons 
fycelsfor ® 0 Your Own Printing 
^Pnwfahlo' >10 Press for cards, labels, envelopes 
■ or in mi ,j)*r e tc. Largereizes for large work. 
Buxines* Men Uu their printing and 
maintains the same splendid reputation which was 
freely accorded to It when first presented for criti¬ 
cism at the 
Paris Exposition of 1867, 
All who have tried this mo9t simple, capable and 
durable 
The Oldest, Largest and Most Perfect Manufactory 
In the United States. 
It uxlnoxx Mon do their printing and 
advertising, save money and Increase 
trade. Amateur Print Dig, delight 
ful pmrthne for spare hours. BOVS 
have gnat fun and make money lust 
atprinting. Send two stamps for full 
catalogue presses type etc, to the Mf rs 
KELSEY & CO, Meriden, Conn. 
Now In use. 
No other Musical Instrument ever obtained the 
same Popularity. 
B3f Send for Price-Lists. 
Address BUFFALO, N. Y. 
endorse the merit claimed for it by the manufact¬ 
urers. 
All classes of people, and every variety of stitch¬ 
ing, bear witness that it lias no equal. 
The Awards at Vienna in 1873 
to the Weed Sewing Machine Company surpassed 
those to any other exhibitor of Sewing Machines. 
The Patrons of Husbandry and the Sovereigns 
of Judustry ore among our staunchest friends. 
No one can afford to buy a Sewing Machine with¬ 
out first examining The Favorites. 
Manufactory at Hartford, Conn. 
Clarkes 
New Method $ $ Piano-Forte. 
Endorsed by the Musical, Educational and 
general Press, and by Good Teachers, to be 
Beyond all Comparison the Best 
to be had at Booh and Music stores. 
Sent by Mail, Price, $3.75. 
LEE & WALKER, 
79 more young men to learn Tele¬ 
graphy. Good situations guaixiu- 
teed. Address, with stamp, 
Supt. U. T. Co., Oberlin, O. 
