fxcelsfcpDo Your Own Priulin^ 
K | 1 A A Praeforcards, labels, envelopes 
roriaotw t c larger sizes for large work. 
JAW. 30 
tSBit and Ijmnor. 
SPARES AND SPLINTERS. 
Love without money is something like patent 
leather boots without soles. 
Each beau plucks a leaf from a coquette ; so 
that torns only remain for the hnsband. 
Tiiey who marry- widows are good husband¬ 
men, Inasmuch as they thin out their weeds. 
When a boy becomes bent on going to sea be 
•should be straightened out before the mast. 
Henry Ci.ay describes a mule as “ an animal 
that hasno pride of ancestry and no hope of 
posterity.” 
Boston proposes a convention of bald men, 
to be held next month, probably to revive the 
old wig party. 
“Why do you call your dog Oak?” asked 
Smith of Jones. “ Because he has such a, coarse 
bark,” replied Mr. J. 
“ Digby, will youtake some of this butter? ” 
“Thank'y o " ma’am, J belong to the temper¬ 
ance society. Can't take anything strong.'’ 
A gentleman who had been struck by a 
young lady’s beauty has determined to follow 
the injunction and “ikiss the rod that smote 
him.” 
A German writer, complalng of the difficulty 
In the pronouuciation of the English language, 
cites the word “ Boz,” which he says means 
“Dickens.” 
“Am I not a little pale?" inquired a lady, 
who was short and corpulent, of a crusty old 
bachelor. "You look more like a big tub,” 
was the blunt reply. 
A YOUNG fellow in Grundy county, Iowa, 
wanted to charge his girl twenty cents for bis 
jjicturc, Informing her at the time that it 
originally cost a quart er. 
At a parting at a Chicago railroad depot “ Do 
not forget me or cease to love me! ” murmur¬ 
ed the husband. “Never, never 1" sobbed the 
wife, and sho pulled out a handkerchief and 
tied a knot III it, that she might remember. 
An unsophisticated person once declined a 
plate of macaroni soup with the remark that 
they couldn’t palm off any biled pipe-stem.. <»n 
him. 
“ Wno was the meekest man?” asked a 
Sunday-school teacher. “Moses.” "Very 
well; who was the meekest woman?" “ Never 
was any.” 
“Tiie one thing needful for the perfect er 
joy men t of love Is confidence.” Same with 
hash and sausage. 
At what hour did the devil make his appear¬ 
ance In the garden of Eden? In the night, of 
course. lie came after Eve. 
St. LOUIS has ten thousand dogs. The native 
wears a section of stove-pipe on each leg dur¬ 
ing the mad-dog season. 
OH, Woman ! in our hours Of ease, 
Uncertain coy, and liurd to please ; 
Put any horror up on show, 
There lovely woman’s bound to go. 
A young man in l.lie country announces that 
he will give a chromo to the young lady who 
v\ ill take him for better or worse. 
When Jemima went to school she was asked 
why the noun bachelor was singular. “Be¬ 
cause,” she replied, *• it is so very singular that 
they don’t get married.” 
Smith and Jonea were at the "menagerie, and 
the conversation turned on Darwin’s theory. 
“Look at that monkey,” said Smith. “Think 
of its being an undeveloped human I” “Hu- I 
man 1” said Jones, contemptuously: "it’s no 
more human than I am." 
A Western editor asserts that It is “no use 
trying to publish a nonpareil newspaper In a 
long primer community,” which will be readily 
understood by the Initiated. 
flow dreary seems each hour. 
As it slowly, slowly pope, 
To the man wlm sits In anguish 
Willi u boil upon his nose! 
A Western paper thinks It absurd to talk 
about the reckless extravagance of the Ameri¬ 
can people, when a Chicago man worked all 
day to clean a three-oont postage stamp so that 
he might use it again. 
The exclamation of an old lady on hearing 
of the execution of a man who had once lived 
in the neighborhood wait—“Well, I know’d 
he’d come to the gallows at last, for the knot 
in his handkerchief Was always slipping round 
under his left ear.” 
In England rivers all are inales— 
For Instance, Father Thames, 
Whoever In Columbia sails I 
Finds them mu’mselles or dames: 
Yes, here the softer sex presides 
Aquatic, I as»ur«- yp ; 
And Mrs. Sippl rolls her tides 
Responsive to Miss Souri. 
An aunecdote of Mr. Oerrlt Smith relates 
that on one occasion, when a visitor hud out ¬ 
stayed his welcome and had become a preternat¬ 
ural nuisance Mr. Smith In the morning 
praved for a blessing to descend upon “our 
visiting brother, who will this day depart from 
us.” And he departed. Such a pin as that was 
sharp enough to be felt by the most pachyder¬ 
matous of bores. 
“ Biddy, did you put an egg In the coffee to 
settle It ? " “ Yes, mum ; I put In four. They 
were so bad I had to use t-be more of them.” 
N. i 
M V1 
IIV— 
o ' 
J 
^ to' ' 
II 
SHARP. 
Man —I say, bub, have you seen a stray mule about here 5 
Boy —Nary one, boss, till you turned up ! 
MOORE’S RURAL-1875! 
--»4«- 
This POPULAR Journal, long the Standard in Its Sphere, entered upon its Twenty-Sixth Year 
(. and second Quarter of n Century) January 2nd, under such auspices as will enable its Founder and 
Conductor arid li'* Associates to manifast more fully titan ever before the true spirit of its glorious 
Motto, 
eleior." and laudable Objects, “ l-’royrres an* Improvement.” The constant aim will be to 
more Haul maintain its well-earned position as tbe 
BEST WEEKLY OF ITS CLASS l 
On all subjects pertaining to A'jriruHtur, HartUnlture, Domestic Affaire, and kindred topics, Moore’S 
Rural lias been the RecognIV.ko Authority for u score of years, during which it bus become the 
Leading ami Largest Circulating Rural, literary and Family Weekly on tlia Continent. To sus¬ 
tain and augment this pre-eminence neither labor nor expense will be spared, but every proper cllort l»ut 
forth to furnish a Model Paper for rat; Rural Population* —one especially adapted to the wants of 
THE FARMER, 
THE STOCK GROWER, 
THE HOUSEWIFE, 
THE HORTICULTURIST, 
THE DAIRYMAN, 
THE GARDENER, Ac. 
GREAT REDUCTION. 
TEAS AND COFFEES 
AT WHOLESALE TRICES. 
Increased Fitcllltlei, to Club Organizers. 
Send lov New Price bi«t, 
THE GREAT AMERICAN TEACO. 
P. 0. Bor .564:1. 3i & S3 Veeey St., New York 
W Business Mendo their prin ting and 
advertising, save money and increase 
trade. Amateur Printing, delight 
fill pastime for spare hours. BOYS 
havegreatfun and make money fast 
printing- ut printing. Send two stamps for full 
b o- catalogue preset*-1 vpe etc, to the Mfi - 
*Te SSe 3 Ki XSE\ r <& CO. Meriden, Conn. 
CHEESE FACTORY 
and Creamery Apparatus. 
All Dairymen in need of any kind of Machinery, 
Utensils dr Furnishing Goods. In tiie above line, 
should send lor our new Illustrated Circular and 
Price l ist, which gives full information regarding 
ail modern improvements. 
CJtAitLIJS MILLAR K SON, Utica, N. Y. 
Moore’s Rural New-Yorker.— This king of Ag¬ 
ricultural papers has entered upon its twenty-sixth 
year, under me most favorable auspices. It is the 
determination of its publishers to furnish a brighter 
and better paper than ever. In style, type, matter 
and editoria billty, there is no paper of its kind 
that at all compares with it .—Trempealeau iTTis.) 
IlrpiibUcan. 
But in addition to its attention to Practical Affairs, the Rural Is not unmindful of the Family 
Circle, for it devotes several pages of each number to Choice and High Toned Literary and Miscellaneous 
It ea el in (i, adapted to both sexes and all ape.-. This feature has given It a high reputation, ull over the land, 
AS A LITERARY AND FAMILY PAPER. 
The moral tone of Moore's KultAI. bus always boon pure and unexceptionable, wh ile its value as 
an Kditc.it r U worth many times its cost to any family. During 1875 special effort will be made to 
render the whole paper hkkuitek ami ii jtthh than ever before, so that Its old friends shuil bo 
proud "of it an i thousands of new mil u become its ardent, admirers. 
THE RhR Al.’H ILLUSTRATIONS will continue to he Appropriate, Varied and Beautiful. 
Indeed, our object l« to render t'ui paper exceptionally Valuable uml Acceptable in all its Departments. 
Its Reports of Markets, Crops, Kfco., ore alone worth double tiie price of tbe Rural. 
TBftj.i, Number of the Rural New-Yorker Contains Sixteen Quarto Pages, handsomely Printed und Il¬ 
lustrated. A Title Page and Index given at the close of each Volume, ending with .lune and December. 
TERMS, In Advance, Postage Prepaidt—Only $2.05 per Year, including Postage, which we 
1 repay uniter the now law. In clubs of ten or more only $2.15 per yearly copy, including postage. 
Great Inducements to Club Agents. Premium Lists, Specimens, Ac., sent to all disposed to net in 
behalf of the Rural and its Objects. Address 
D. D. T. MOORE, New York City, 
(CIRCULAR.) 
Consumers Importing Tea Co., ) 
No. S Chnrrli Street. 
B*. O. Box 5,509. New York City. ) 
Tins Is it combination of capitalists to supply the 
consumers of Teas throughout the United State on 
the mutual principle. 
We lmvc experienced agents in all the best dis¬ 
tricts of China and Japan to select Teas especially 
for our trade. 
Wc expect every consumer of Teas ■‘orender usall 
the assistance they can in carrying out our enter¬ 
prise. as we make a specialty of SUPPLYING CON¬ 
SUMERS ONLY (and allow no middlemen to make 
any profit on our Importations), wnich will enable 
ub to supply them with Teas at prioeB lower than 
have ever been known, und of those tine qualities 
„ht t seldom reach the interior, being sold only to 
the largo cities and among the very wealthy. 
Hoping the consumer will take an interest in our 
enterprise, and send at once for a circular with full 
explanations of how to proceed to obtain our goods, 
we remain. 
Most respectfully yours, 
Lonsnmers Importing Tea (o., 
No. S Church St., 
P. O. Box 5,509. New York City. 
Entered, according to Act of Congress, in January, 
1874, by the Consumers Importing Tea Co., in the 
Office of the Librarian of Congress, Washington, D. C 
GEO. A. PRINCE & CO., 
Organs & Melodeons. 
The Oldest, Largest and Most Perfect Manufactory 
in the United States. 
54,000 
Now in use. 
No other Musical Instrument ever obtained the 
same Popularity. 
Send for Price-Lists. 
Address BUFFALO, N. Y. 
THE PUBLIC 
need not be told that the old original 
Family Favorite 
maintains the same splendid reputation which was 
freely accorded to it when first presented for criti¬ 
cism at tiie 
Paris Exposition of 1867. 
All wl. have tried this mo9t simple, capable and 
i durable 
SEWING MACHINE, 
endorse the merit claimed for it by the manufact¬ 
urers. 
All classes of people, and every variety of stitch¬ 
ing, hear witness that it has no equal. 
The Awards at Vienna in 1873 
lo the Weed Sewing Machine Company surpassed 
those to any other exhibitor of Sewing Machines. 
The Patrontfol llnsbniitlrynud the Sovereign* 
of l nd it at i*y ate among our staunchest friends. 
No one cun afford to buy n Sowing Machine with¬ 
out first examining The Favtiriies. 
Manufactory at Hartford, Conn. 
PRE8SED TIN-WARE. 
/A « t AN Buy no Tin-Ware without 
I‘ *Ll - fr-u this Stamp. It U the Lett. 
IKON CLAD CAN CO., 
£3 Cllfl Si., New York. 
TIT I VrmriTl more young men to learn Tele- 
1/1/ A M I 1 U II grapliy. Goodsitnationsgua.au- 
VV M N I P. teed. Address, with stamp, 
■ ? nil I JjU Supt, U. T. Co., Oberlin, O. 
*\3 IV ^ Y. 
Our motive In establishing this AGENCY is to 
satisfy a long felt want among our Subscribers, 
friends and tiie general public, thus offering a 
Reliable Medium 
through which they can supply all their wants in 
,, cry branch of Trade, at the extremely LOW Prices 
now ruling iu New York Markets. Our 
Special Arrangements 
with leading Manufacturers and Merchants enable 
us to purchase on i u tc fav rable terms than parties 
who trade Could secure. 
We are also prepared to receive 
Consignments 
of any nature, and will dispose of such business at 
the least practicable expense to the consignor, return- 
inc prompt account-sales. Parties availing them¬ 
selves of this and other Departments of our agency 
can rely upon escaping the commissions of 
Middle-Men, 
thus reducing the COST of their merchandise very 
materially. 
Wo fill an order for 
A Single Article 
as carefully and promptly a» a large order, and In¬ 
vite the patronage of individuals, "clubs,’’ &c. 
Everything comes within our province, from 
A NEEDLE TO A STEAM ENGINE! 
Our commission la small, and always uniform. 
Explanatory Circulars, 
which give rail and complete Information regarding 
the AGENW. mailed on receipt of stamp. 
Wc will not bn responsible* for moneys, unless sent 
by Exprns: U. O. Money Order, Registered Letter or 
■ Draft on Now York. 
Correspondence solicited. Address 
C. H. XL REDDING, 
Manager Rural Purchasing Agency, 
Eural New-Yorker Office, New York. 
£2“P. O. Box 5S1. 
£3-Inclose 25 Cents when you make business 
inquiries that costs our time, or your request will 
be laid aside in favor of those who comply. Our 
time is money. 
Moore’s Rural New-Yorker Is neither dead 
nor asleep, but still goes forth on Its weekly visits to 
interest, instruct and amuse Us many thousands of 
subscribers, as It has done during the past twenty- 
four rears, with Its notes and essays on agileuiture. 
horticulture, gardening, floriculture, and general 
science j its news, stories, puzzles, jokes, etc., suited 
to tho tastes and necessities of young and old, of all 
crudes In society .—LeRoy Gazette 
